Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[MItoDC]

I love this thread so much.
My best friend just told me she's pregnant. It was their FIRST TIME not using any kind of birth control. I totally started crying (for me) when I talked to her on the phone about it, which is awful...I was trying so hard not to cry, but I just couldn't help it. And she said, "You were the first and last person I wanted to tell". Ugh, so crushing, in so many ways. I'm happy for her but at the same time, I'm so jealous I could bite the leg off a chair. Imagine never having to go through the TWW! Can you even imagine that? I can't anymore. She was really on the fence about having kids, too, you know? All of it is unfair. But, of course, life isn't fair, and don't we all know it. I wish i could just be happy for her, and not be a jerk about it. I mean, I AM happy for her. I'm sad for me, and I wish I could separate that from being happy for her. I just feel like everyone around me is having kids, and I have to watch it and be happy for them, AND I'M NEVER ALLOWED TO BE SAD ABOUT IT...or to ditch their stupid kid parties and baby showers and everything else because the whole thing makes me feel so bad I just want to hulksmash everything. It's bad enough with my Fertile Fanny SIL and her endless baby-related Facebook posts...I know my best friend won't do that stuff, but...I don't know. It sucks. It just sucks. Also just found out other friends of ours are having a second kid. Great. More kids I have to pretend to be excited about. I just want to have one kid. ONE. I would be happy with ONE. Okay? JUST ONE. And I'm sorry, I truly do feel for people who have secondary infertility, or any infertility, but when you want a fourth kid and I can't even have ONE, it's hard to feel sympathy. I'm so depressed...I hate it.

Oh Amari. That is so awful. I went through the exact same thing with my best friend. We always talked about wanting to have kids together and both started trying at the same time. She's now the mommy to a handsome, bouncing 2-month old, and we're still waiting to see a hint of a line one month. I cried when I found out she was pregnant, cried at her baby shower (in the bathroom - so pitiful), and cried when he was born - all for me and for my husband. I felt awful because I'm really, truly SO happy for her.

 

[PyrusEK]

Pyros-- Have you been checked for endometriosis or uterine polyps?

Yep! Did the laparoscopy, the ultrasound, the hysterosalpingogram, etc. Finding mega relief with sublingual B12 and a gluten free diet!

 

[cntrygrl]

Pyros-- Have you been checked for endometriosis or uterine polyps?

Yep! Did the laparoscopy, the ultrasound, the hysterosalpingogram, etc. Finding mega relief with sublingual B12 and a gluten free diet!

Glad you are finding relief and Hope it brings you a BFP soon.

 

[Unlucky41]

Hi I am new to this board but definitely not to TTC. We have been at it for 3 years now. Just had my 4th failed ivf cycle which resulted in one embryo arrested at day 2 hence nothing to transfer devastated

I am so so so sad and depress what to do now? the cycles are getting worse not better. I thought it should get better with the doctors knowing more and more.
Anyway all my friends either have two babies, pregnant or have one. I watch with envy. At friends place when I hear the children call out to their mothers my heart is broken to know that it is a great possibility that I won't experience this.

It definitely pains me to go to baby showers to have to go get a present at the baby's department. Now I rather just get a voucher. Life is not fair. God is not fair!! He can bless others with children why not me???

I just want to say I understand and totally feel everyone's pain!!!

Welcome to the thread, Unlucky. It's so nice to come here where people understand.

thanks MItoDC appreciate the welcome.

 

[Castastic]

Maybe I am just not deserving? Good Enough? What is wrong with me?

I just got my third period after my HSG and was told these three cycles would be my most fertile in a long time because it "cleans the pipes." My tubes were good, my tests are all good, and my cycle is clockwork. Yet TTC for three years and some months now.

Not only did I get my period today, my littler sister announced her second pregnancy. Her second "accident" and she had the nerve to complain to me about being pregnant when she knows what I am struggling with.

On top of that, my brother in law and his new wife are also expecting their second child. They cannot even provide for their first and she almost DIED with the first.

I can't. I can't do this anymore.

 

[8longyears]

Hi this is my first post on BNB and I am just looking to vent, get advice.. idk.
I have been TTC since 12/01/2005. I found out in 2010 by laproscopy I have between mild-moderate endometriosis. everything else checked out fine, hubby's sperm great I am ovulating.. I finally took a break from TTC and didn't do opk's or worry about where i was in my cycle and started accepting that the chance of us ever having another child are slim to nothing and to live life accepting it for what it is and try to be happy.. then BAM, BFP on June,14th 2013!! I almost passed out when I POS and saw the BFP right before my eyes. I immediatley ran outside to tell hubby and called my sister and my mum who were just as excited as i was!! however, I get into the doctor 3 days later and have blood test which reveals I am experiencing an abnormal pregnancy. at 8 weeks i found out it was a blighted ovum and started miscarrying shortly after.. all i kept thinking was how is this possible after 8 years ttc and now this?? it never entered my mind that once i would conceive it wouldn't be viable! i wonder if my eggs are bad? I am ttc again of course since the BFP has me all worked up and now im thinking, well i CAN get pregnant so... hmm. but can I?! I OV 2 days ago or at least thats what the clear-blue digital test said but i always know immediatley when i have OV because my boobs get really sore!!! (TMI) I had OV pains 8/14 before bed and DTD. but my breast are not sore at all!!!!! idk what to do, i had bought some Natural prog cream thinking i might start using it but day 23 test (I OV on day 17 of my cycle) showed my progesterone was 9.7 but maybe my boobs aren't sore this month because im not producing enough progesterone? do any of you ladies have sore boobs and low progesterone? vice versa? im just going crazy.. any help is great!!

 

[Myshelsong]

OMG Ladies at work stop talking about little itty bitty babies that you saw last night at the baby shower I didnt want to hear about. I know the baby was cute, I know it was a girl and I get she slept the whole time and was soooo adorable and wonderful and warm and cuddly and I am going to blow up!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Hi this is my first post on BNB and I am just looking to vent, get advice.. idk.
I have been TTC since 12/01/2005. I found out in 2010 by laproscopy I have between mild-moderate endometriosis. everything else checked out fine, hubby's sperm great I am ovulating.. I finally took a break from TTC and didn't do opk's or worry about where i was in my cycle and started accepting that the chance of us ever having another child are slim to nothing and to live life accepting it for what it is and try to be happy.. then BAM, BFP on June,14th 2013!! I almost passed out when I POS and saw the BFP right before my eyes. I immediatley ran outside to tell hubby and called my sister and my mum who were just as excited as i was!! however, I get into the doctor 3 days later and have blood test which reveals I am experiencing an abnormal pregnancy. at 8 weeks i found out it was a blighted ovum and started miscarrying shortly after.. all i kept thinking was how is this possible after 8 years ttc and now this?? it never entered my mind that once i would conceive it wouldn't be viable! i wonder if my eggs are bad? I am ttc again of course since the BFP has me all worked up and now im thinking, well i CAN get pregnant so... hmm. but can I?! I OV 2 days ago or at least thats what the clear-blue digital test said but i always know immediatley when i have OV because my boobs get really sore!!! (TMI) I had OV pains 8/14 before bed and DTD. but my breast are not sore at all!!!!! idk what to do, i had bought some Natural prog cream thinking i might start using it but day 23 test (I OV on day 17 of my cycle) showed my progesterone was 9.7 but maybe my boobs aren't sore this month because im not producing enough progesterone? do any of you ladies have sore boobs and low progesterone? vice versa? im just going crazy.. any help is great!!

I'm sorry for your loss. I recently lost a baby myself, and its still pretty fresh, its crap seeing preggers women all around me and wondering why i don't get to keep my baby xx

 

[LoveCakes]

So after a year of sorting out an overly thick lining Clomid has now made it too thin. Ironic much!

 

[HeidiM]

Hi ladies!

This is my first post on BNB. I've been visiting this forum for the past year for tips, advice and encouragement whenever the witch visits. It really does provide the comfort in knowing that we are not alone and jealousy, envy and depression happens to everyone.

DH and I have been ttc #1 for the past 16 months (since May 2012). Tomorrow when af arrives it'll be our 17th cycle without any BFPs at all. I never thought concieving would be a problem for us! We are both 31 this year and I came of bc Dec 2011. Have been charting my bbt and my cycles have been like clockwork with clear temp shifts after ovulation. I recently went for a HSG and everything was normal. DH will be going for a SA this coming Saturday. I've been going to a tcm doctor weekly for the past 4 months as well, and it's positive to know that my cycles have become even more regular with a more stable LP. Spotting is now confined to just the day before af as well, compared to spotting 2-3 days before.

We've been hearing baby new from many friends, some without even trying - they just had an accident. We were at a baby shower yesterday and adorable as the little ones were, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness.

Everyone's telling us to just relax, it will happen, slowly but surely.
After 17 cycles of roller coaster emotions and alternating between hopeful and hopeless, it's really hard to stay optimistic. But we are trying!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Welcome HeidiM

My rant: who gave everyone but me in my office the fertility drink?!! Seriously everyone is oregnant.

Also why do supposed ltttc'ers forget what it was like for them when they get preggers and flaunt it in your face?

 

[Mikihob]

After $1800 of HCG injections, plus another $400 in three weeks for a grand total of $2200, for it to not work is unimaginable!! I keep hearing how HCG didn't work for DH. I really, REALLY hope that I am lucky enough to have this work. If not, we can't afford a biopsy for him or donor sperm or IVF because our insurance won't cover any ART's!! GRRRRR!! Knowing that in two and a half weeks we are having a SA that will tell us whether or not our dreams are crushed is getting almost too hard to bear. I can't stop crying and being depressed. If I see one more pregnant person I will explode!!!!!!!!!

 

[cntrygrl]

Miki-- How did they let you get this far without doing an SA first?

 

[skimomma]

I really hope this is our month. I haven't even sniffed bread, meat, diary, wheat, or sugar. T minus 13 dys.

 

[HeidiM]

Welcome HeidiM

My rant: who gave everyone but me in my office the fertility drink?!! Seriously everyone is oregnant.

Also why do supposed ltttc'ers forget what it was like for them when they get preggers and flaunt it in your face?

Thanks wannabemummyb

Yes, I have a lot of pregnant colleagues in my office too.
Everytime I walk pass one of them I can't help but think why not meeeee

And the showed up on time today

 

[sugarpi24]

My rant: im so sick of woman that are pregnant complaining about all their symptoms...and how everytime i turn around there is a new woman pregnant at work! im tired of ppl telling me what to do when it comes to TTC..." stop trying"..."have sex like rabbits" "get drunk" "what about adoption?!" OI! ppl suck sometimes!

 

[wannabemummyb]

My rant: im so sick of woman that are pregnant complaining about all their symptoms...and how everytime i turn around there is a new woman pregnant at work! im tired of ppl telling me what to do when it comes to TTC..." stop trying"..."have sex like rabbits" "get drunk" "what about adoption?!" OI! ppl suck sometimes!

I have exactly the same happen to me! People sux

 

[Bellezza]

Hi all!

I'm Bellezza and am new here (and hoping I'm posting in the right place).

I have been TTC for two and a half years...we have tried everything. I got so sick of hearing, once you stop trying it will happen....get a pet, you'll find yourself pregnant..... stop stressing. So we stopped, we had regular unprotected sex, I went back to school, we got two pets and I couldn't have found myself more distracted if I had tried. Needless to say, the outcome did not result in a visit from the stork! So here I am! Although we gave up trying we did see a fertility clinic after a year, but it all seemed just so invasive, so we declined to seek further treatment.

It makes me sad that all 4 of my sisters had been pregnant within months of trying. I guess I'm just a lil different!

I'm here to seek advice and support and make a few friends along the way!

Thanks for reading!

 

[sugarpi24]

My rant: im so sick of woman that are pregnant complaining about all their symptoms...and how everytime i turn around there is a new woman pregnant at work! im tired of ppl telling me what to do when it comes to TTC..." stop trying"..."have sex like rabbits" "get drunk" "what about adoption?!" OI! ppl suck sometimes!

I have exactly the same happen to me! People sux

another lady told me "when God wants us to have a baby he will give us one" its like really lady! im not really religious...so i just let it slide by....but it still erked me!

 

[cntrygrl]

Sugar-- I wouldn't have been able to hold my tongue and would've said "So God wants drug addicts, teenage mothers, and child abusers to have children before me?"