Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[Hope3]

Here's the article https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-412273/Im-infertile--look-happened.html

Your OH could go to the LBC radio website to listen to the show. It aired on Monday and was called "Why don't we talk about male infertility?" You have to subscribe though.

My DH doesn't talk much either. When I get upset he doesn't really know what to do. We had a talk the other day and he said that he's angry too but mostly keeps it in. When his cousin sent a photocard of her newborn (I've already had a vent on here about that one) my DH ripped it up and threw it in the bin. To be honest I felt like doing the same but didn't have the guts. I hate that I'm so bitter but I am.

You still have time on your side. Hopefully your OH will find the courage to go with you to the GP to talk about getting tests.

Sending & best of luck.

Thank you so much. Men are such different creatures aren't they? I will give it a go. And well done for having a go at your cousin. I think people just have no idea how hard this is. Sending big love back xxx

I didn't have a go at my cousin-in-law. Instead I've been doing the classic ttc avoidance. I came off FB to avoid the inevitable baby posts, didn't RSVP or go to her baby shower or go to any family christenings.

 

[madtowngirl]

This is going to make me sound like a bitter cow, but I don't really care.

I wish women wouldn't bring their children to the Fertility Clinic.

I get it, women who have children already also struggle with infertility. I'm not saying their struggles are invalid because they have children. But this is my safe haven. My place where people get me and understand my struggle. The last thing I need is the bitter, visual reminder of why I am there.

 

[Hope3]

Hey Madtowngirl

That sucks about the clinic. I know you can't banish children but maybe they could do something to be more sensitive.

I've got a pelvic scan on Monday which will be in the maternity unit of the hospital. I hate going there because my reason for being there has nothing to do with being pregnant.

 

[bluecardy]

Hey Ladies. I've been reading this thread for a while but haven't posted until now. I swear I feel like you are all reading my mind because I have thought the same things that you all have expressed.

Today I came this close to shutting down my Facebook. It was another pregnancy announcement--this girl's second. Have you ever looked at someone you know and thought, "I'll be pregnant before she gets pregnant again"? Well, that's how she was to me. I'm in the 2ww of my first ivf cycle and going nuts. This is the last thing I needed to see. Why do people have to make a big announcement if it's not their first???!? They should not be able to.

 

[nobump]

Think I am in pmt melt down. Due early next week. Will see friend who has just announced her pregnancy at hubby s birthday meal tomorrow. Dreading it. She is a month older and has been seeing her bloke less time than we have been trying. Happy smiley face needs to be dug out and put on....

 

[Lazydaisys]

I think bringing a child to the fertility clinic is just totally disrespectful for people's feelings. I cannot even comprehend how somebody could think this was acceptable. They are banned from ours, although I've seen three in the past year.

I work with children all day, I have family members I see daily. I expect to go in peace and sit in a childless waiting room. In fact if they could take down the posters with baby's on too that would be helpful. We all know why we are there!!!

There's one poster that says something like. There's one thing that's more painful than given birth... Infertility! Nice one- just what somebody wants to see. Xxxxxx

 

[PiggieFarmer]

Have not see a child brought to our clinic... not allowed, and it seems like that is followed.

There's one poster that says something like. There's one thing that's more painful than given birth... Infertility! Nice one- just what somebody wants to see. Xxxxxx

I have determined that the only safe way to decorate a fertility clinic is bare white walls...

 

[madtowngirl]

Omg did you really need to post a picture of your positive pregnancy test on FB??????

 

[Lazydaisys]

Omg did you really need to post a picture of your positive pregnancy test on FB??????

No they didnt

 

[venapols]

Rant:

a family member (who had their first child removed for their custody after being declared unfit due to having Munchhausen) has just had her 3rd baby (2nd in 2 years) and on top of how much it hurts that she has had 2 children in the time ive been trying (and the fact her children keep getting mysterious injuries/illness)
and even more annoyingly than her ease of getting pregnant or the unfairness of how she treats the children (which I guess is an illness in itself) is she has given her new child a 'oonique' name (basically a normal pretty name spelled in the most jacked up weird way ever, that will never be taken seriously and its triple barreled which is just overkill) its like she wants to give her children the hardest life possible but she will just go on to have more even if they get removed

non of its fair

 

[tommyg]

This is going to make me sound like a bitter cow, but I don't really care.

I wish women wouldn't bring their children to the Fertility Clinic.

I get it, women who have children already also struggle with infertility. I'm not saying their struggles are invalid because they have children. But this is my safe haven. My place where people get me and understand my struggle. The last thing I need is the bitter, visual reminder of why I am there.

I'm sorry but I'm one of those ladies who's had to do this. Neither of my usual babysitters were about, I needed to go to the clinic for a scan or they would cancel my treatment. What was I supposed to do?

Please have a little sympathy for those who are trying for their second and a sibling for their first. You never know if their first was also a fertility baby or if you'll want a second one day and have the same issues.

 

[madtowngirl]

I'm not sure why you felt the need to call out my vent in a vent thread. I guess I need to watch myself, here, too.

 

[DBZ34]

I don't think so, Madtown. This is a vent thread and you are entitled to your feelings and your vents. I know, I, for one, agreed wholeheartedly with your vent.

*This* is a safe space too. It is a place to vent, so I say, vent away!


Tommyg - Madtown did say that she got it and she didn't say that your struggle was invalid because you already had a child. It's right there in her post.

Instead of asking her to have sympathy for you, maybe you should do the same and realize that the situation (not having a babysitter, bringing your child to a fertility center) though out of your control, could have been hurtful to those women who were there and were still struggling to have their first. I know it was unintentional and you didn't have a choice, but the fact remains that your child is a visual reminder of what we don't have and it hurts.

We're allowed to feel that hurt. And we're allowed to vent about it, just as you're allowed to vent here too.

 

[EmmyReece]

I'm not sure why you felt the need to call out my vent in a vent thread. I guess I need to watch myself, here, too.

No you don't need to watch yourself at all, you explained yourself fine and I can understand why you would feel the way that you do

 

[EmmyReece]

I'm being pressured into helping to organise and go to a baby shower for my friend's daughters

I've tried explaining to my friend how I feel and that I don't think I can face going, she seems to think that I'll be ok and should still come. I'm petrified of getting upset and making a fool out of myself

I'm tempted to say that I have to work that day just so that I have an excuse

 

[k4th]

I'm being pressured into helping to organise and go to a baby shower for my friend's daughters

I've tried explaining to my friend how I feel and that I don't think I can face going, she seems to think that I'll be ok and should still come. I'm petrified of getting upset and making a fool out of myself

I'm tempted to say that I have to work that day just so that I have an excuse

I would make an excuse.

Your friend has no right to push you if you're feeling so fragile about it. Say no now & if you feel like going on the day you can change your mind. But that way you won't have the dread leading up to it or the feeling that you have let anyone down at the last minute.

I'm sorry your friend isn't listening to you or your feelings

 

[EmmyReece]

I would make an excuse.

Your friend has no right to push you if you're feeling so fragile about it. Say no now & if you feel like going on the day you can change your mind. But that way you won't have the dread leading up to it or the feeling that you have let anyone down at the last minute.

I'm sorry your friend isn't listening to you or your feelings

I'm seeing her later today so will talk to her again about it then.

I could very well really enjoy myself, but it's going to be such a reminder of what we don't have yet and I'd never forgive myself if I ruined her daughters' baby shower by getting upset

 

[k4th]

I would make an excuse.

Your friend has no right to push you if you're feeling so fragile about it. Say no now & if you feel like going on the day you can change your mind. But that way you won't have the dread leading up to it or the feeling that you have let anyone down at the last minute.

I'm sorry your friend isn't listening to you or your feelings

I'm seeing her later today so will talk to her again about it then.

I could very well really enjoy myself, but it's going to be such a reminder of what we don't have yet and I'd never forgive myself if I ruined her daughters' baby shower by getting upset

I know if it were me - the "mood" I was in when I got up on that day would influence how I could deal with a baby shower. Some days I can power through & other days I can cry all day because if one car advert.

Put yourself first. Take care of yourself. Do what's best for you

 

[laurac1988]

I swear everyone around me is pregnant.
Even those who had a loss around the same time as us are pregnant again. I'm happy for them, but my heart aches

 

[Kallie3000]

I swear everyone around me is pregnant.
Even those who had a loss around the same time as us are pregnant again. I'm happy for them, but my heart aches

Isn't it the weirdest feeling? I feel like infertility makes you have every single emotion at the same time. Like when you are really, really happy for someone's BFP, but at the same time you are very angry that you don't get the same, and you are sad, and grieving, and frustrated, and confused, and depressed, and numb, and hopeful, and all of the other feelings!