Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[Kallie3000]

It is exhausting.

 

[HCas]

I already know I'll feel like a bad sister and aunt for what I'm about to say... but I'm tired of not saying it.

My sister is having her third child in May. After the last two each time she said she didn't want anymore. Hell during her pregnancy with my nephew she said she didn't want "this one". Literally from the first month of my actively ttc to the one year mark she has gotten pregnant twice! And I'm not happy for her. Like I can't wait to have another niece or nephew! Really. I'll love that baby to the moon and back. But how can I look my sister in the face and honestly say "I'm happy you're having another kid you didn't want and will most likely make me pay for and throw parties for and take for six months at a time because you're 'tired'"

And I'm not exaggerating. I had temp custody of my niece for SIX MONTHS because she was tired of being a mom! I want to be a mom so badly! I m going through hell watching all my cousins have kids and being the rock for one who just lost her first pregnancy and trying to be a good aunt to my two nieces and two nephews. Every time I turn around there's another baby in my family. And now she wants me to except that she is having another kid. One she dangled letting me adopt in my face then yesterday took it back because she couldn't stand to adopt out.

Sorry for ranting so much but really I'm at my wits end here. How can I be such a horrid sister and aunt? And why can't I stop myself from feeling this way? I'm just so tired.

 

[longing]

I would make an excuse.

Your friend has no right to push you if you're feeling so fragile about it. Say no now & if you feel like going on the day you can change your mind. But that way you won't have the dread leading up to it or the feeling that you have let anyone down at the last minute.

I'm sorry your friend isn't listening to you or your feelings

I'm seeing her later today so will talk to her again about it then.

I could very well really enjoy myself, but it's going to be such a reminder of what we don't have yet and I'd never forgive myself if I ruined her daughters' baby shower by getting upset

I know if it were me - the "mood" I was in when I got up on that day would influence how I could deal with a baby shower. Some days I can power through & other days I can cry all day because if one car advert.

Put yourself first. Take care of yourself. Do what's best for you

I agree. Say you probably won't be able to go and then see how you feel on the day. I think we all have good and bad days. Look after you x

 

[EmmyReece]

Not much of a vent, but just an update from me. I have to say I'm shocked at my friend. She's actually understood where I was coming from when I explained to her the possibility of not being able to face it. I am helping her to organise it though (which was my choice) as I feel that if I can't face it, then at least I've had some input if that makes sense?

 

[nobump]

EmmeReece, can completely understand why you would find it hard, a friend at work returns next week after being off on paternity leave, so I am going to work from home on his first day back. As they will decorate his desk, and give him a card and collection and there will be lots of congrats all within earshot and I just don't want to deal with it. We need to do things that protect ourselves, this journey is hard enough without making ourselves walk into storms. It is good your friend understands.

 

[DBZ34]

I already know I'll feel like a bad sister and aunt for what I'm about to say... but I'm tired of not saying it.

My sister is having her third child in May. After the last two each time she said she didn't want anymore. Hell during her pregnancy with my nephew she said she didn't want "this one". Literally from the first month of my actively ttc to the one year mark she has gotten pregnant twice! And I'm not happy for her. Like I can't wait to have another niece or nephew! Really. I'll love that baby to the moon and back. But how can I look my sister in the face and honestly say "I'm happy you're having another kid you didn't want and will most likely make me pay for and throw parties for and take for six months at a time because you're 'tired'"

And I'm not exaggerating. I had temp custody of my niece for SIX MONTHS because she was tired of being a mom! I want to be a mom so badly! I m going through hell watching all my cousins have kids and being the rock for one who just lost her first pregnancy and trying to be a good aunt to my two nieces and two nephews. Every time I turn around there's another baby in my family. And now she wants me to except that she is having another kid. One she dangled letting me adopt in my face then yesterday took it back because she couldn't stand to adopt out.

Sorry for ranting so much but really I'm at my wits end here. How can I be such a horrid sister and aunt? And why can't I stop myself from feeling this way? I'm just so tired.

You are not a horrid sister or aunt! You just care about the welfare of your nieces/nephews and know what your sister is like. I would feel the same way if I was in your position. And I can't believe she dangled letting you adopt her baby in your face and then took it back. It seems like some sort of cruel joke!

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. TTC is hard enough without having all of that piled on top of you too.

 

[DBZ34]

My rant for today....

I'm in the hospital and my roommate is pregnant. I couldn't tell just looking, but the nurses keep coming by and pretty much beg her to stop smoking while she's pregnant. Mostly because smoking is lessening the amount of oxygen she's able to absorb, which was part of the reason she was in the hospital. They keep saying things like, "Are you aware of the risks to yourself and the baby?" And she just keeps saying that she only smokes 3 cigs a day, so she doesn't see the harm. I just keep thinking she doesn't appreciate the ability to be pregnant and grow a life inside of her. I hope she at least agrees to trying the patch, though the nurses are hoping she'll quit cold turkey.

 

[Hope3]

So I'm at the Fertility Show and I'm talking to an NHS doctor about self referring for more tests to pinpoint what's at the bottom of my unexplained infertility. She just said very bluntly "It's your age. That's the explanation." At no stage in the last 3 years did any doctor just come out and say it. I almost wish they had. Then I could've saved myself from doing my head in trying to figure out what was wrong with me or what was I not taking enough of to get pregnant.

I'm blaming it us Brits being too polite. The blunt doctor was Eastern European where I guess they're a lot more direct. I won't be going to their clinic though.

 

[Lazydaisys]

Was the show good? I saw a leaflet in my clinc and I wasn't sure I was ready for the 'show' lol but it looked very interesting. X

 

[k4th]

Why do men just not get it???

Or is it just my oh?

 

[EmmyReece]

Why do men just not get it???

Or is it just my oh?

Nope my hubby is the same

I got a positive opk out of the blue and had to pester like crazy for any action last night and the night before as he's on night duty tonight and tomorrow night we're at his parents' house He doesn't get that we need to dtd around this time of the cycle

 

[Hope3]

Was the show good? I saw a leaflet in my clinc and I wasn't sure I was ready for the 'show' lol but it looked very interesting. X

It's my first time. The seminars are very good. It was good to hear from the experts especially on issues affecting older women. I didn't approach any exhibitors. I thought that would be too overwhelming. I'm saving that for when I go back tomorrow with DH.

I know from these boards there are lots of people with ttc issues but to see so many actual people under one roof was sad.

 

[laurac1988]

Fertility show today. Spent the day surrounded by other people's babies. At a sodding fertility show.

I reviewed https://weforgotthesperm.wordpress.com/2014/11/01/review-the-fertility-show-2014/

 

[Hope3]

Fertility show today. Spent the day surrounded by other people's babies. At a sodding fertility show.

I reviewed https://weforgotthesperm.wordpress.com/2014/11/01/review-the-fertility-show-2014/

I wondered about that as well. I mean one was a newborn so I doubt they were there about ttc #2 already.

 

[Hope3]

Fertility show today. Spent the day surrounded by other people's babies. At a sodding fertility show.

I reviewed https://weforgotthesperm.wordpress.com/2014/11/01/review-the-fertility-show-2014/

I wondered about that as well. I mean one was a newborn so I doubt they were there about ttc #2 already.

Great review by the way.

 

[k4th]

Why do men just not get it???

Or is it just my oh?

Nope my hubby is the same

I got a positive opk out of the blue and had to pester like crazy for any action last night and the night before as he's on night duty tonight and tomorrow night we're at his parents' house He doesn't get that we need to dtd around this time of the cycle

Pretty much the same story except I got one night of action & two nights of arguments about it. I'm gutted. He's asleep.

 

[deafgal01]

Facebook needs a "I don't want any baby/pregnancy" related in their options when I choose to hide stuff on facebook from friends and family's posts. I get tired of seeing pregnancy announcements and statuses on a daily basis. I feel like it's posted every f***ing day. I've had to unfollow one friend just because she couldn't stop posting pregnancy related stuff (I'm happy for her to get preg after a miscarriage but f***ing stop posting related stuff on fb for my sake especially after you post the status saying you sense that some people don't want to see/read that!)

 

[venapols]

well that fills me with confidence

applied for a IVF program that offers discounts of £1500 and it took them over a week to email back (well they may be busy right) but they emailed back with the wrong name and the wrong information, then emailed a second time saying 'sorry for using the wrong name, its a cut and paste' still with no correct info

 

[Lazydaisys]

Fertility show today. Spent the day surrounded by other people's babies. At a sodding fertility show.

I reviewed https://weforgotthesperm.wordpress.com/2014/11/01/review-the-fertility-show-2014/

Thanks for the review. Im glad i didn't go, I don't think I could take been insulted and then crying at a fertility show is too cliche. I'm very fit and very good bmi but it hasn't done me any favours. I think it's just too easy to hit out at people's weight. That man who was trying to sell you who knows what sounds hideous. Babies is defo a kick in ovaries, little cute tiny ones especially and smug I used to be in your shoes people are my least favourite. xx

 

[PiggieFarmer]

So it looks like my Clearblue Fertility Monitor died; it doesn't turn on any more, even with fresh batteries. With this comes the realization that... I have been doing this long enough to wear out a fertility monitor.