Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[wannabemummyb]

OMFG how is it that I've been trying so damn long that people are now onto their second babies - their first was within two years of us starting to try!! FFS when am I going to get a break

 

[Whimsical88]

hi

im new to this whole forum thing but i do fell your anger. i have been ttc for over 3 years and in that time i landing on the operating table 3 time for blocked tubes and cysts. Finally had a smudge of hope Nov '15 when i found out im pregnant on the Saturday only to mc that Thurs and be back on the oprating table on Friday. the entire time we have never told anyone about how hard ttc is. when i got pregnant, my husband told everyone. and then mc and now everyone looks at me like the understand what i am going through. im done with doctors. im done with hoping. im done with praying. im even done with people that just want to get into my business and want to know everything i am still battling to deal with myself. i was married the weekend Prince William was married. look at them now and here i am still ttc my first......

 

[Hope3]

That moment when your ignorant bliss is shattered when a woman in the office you had no idea was pregnant is suddenly wearing a Baby on Board badge. *sigh*

 

[Whimsical88]

hope3 i can not even say try to be happy for her beacuse you hurting more now than normal, just think your day shall come.....

 

[Valeriachan]

Well it looks like i might have to shorten mine okay well My fiance and I have been trying to conceive now for years with no success at all not even a false positive or miscarriage i mean nothing other then a couple scares is all which is what got my fiance and i really wanting to start a family

I have had alot of trials and tribulations throughout all of it

Rheumatoid Arthritis
High Cholesterol
Diabetes
lose and gain weight like really fast
Crappy doctors who lied to me about medication that supposedly wasnt available
everyone i know other then 1 person has been pregnant
both my sisters have had 2 pregnancies

All of these have been really really stressful, emotional and life changing

I remember the day that both of them announced there second pregnancies(both older(a could of years ago which would have been about a year and a half trying for my fiance and I) and Little sister(which my little sister is pregnant now) my heart sank i was crushed i couldnt even think straight that whole day

Well here is a major problem now i havent had a period in 2 full months now minor symptoms but most of them of pregnancy but every test i take comes back negative on Wednesday though i am going to request a blood pregnancy test to find out whats up.

So many signs just it is really confusing and emotional and stressful not knowing it is driving my fiance and I crazy

 

[Whimsical88]

Val is it possible you may have PCOS? most times women have such long cycles tend to be PCOS? i would definitely do a blood work, that can maybe clear it out if you are pregnant(fx you are) but if its not....go to a gynea and let him know and maybe start doing testing and see if you can find a problem.

 

[Valeriachan]

If I have PCOS it just started bc i have had periods every month just not always on the same day started but they r between 28-30 days apart give or take

I already plan on getting blood work done problem is i dont know how much my insurance will cover i really want to know this kind of thing it is just so annoying not knowing things why cant we just get a text message saying pregnant or period will start in x number of days or u r catching a cold start taking vitamins i mean life would be so much easier that way

 

[Whimsical88]

i would settle for a text message saying you will be pregnant on this date. prep for it. you will have your baby on this date. and so shall you get your happily ever after

HOW WE WISH........

most insurance covers bloodwork but if is infertility things then it gets tricky. call ahead and check if the insurance covers anything. they may let you know how much they do cover.

 

[Valeriachan]

Oh how we can wish though

regular blood work yes but advance blood work unknown will have to wait n see hopefully my doctor can put in for the blood work on wednesday or thursday but dont know yet

 

[Whimsical88]

keep me posted how that goes....

 

[Valeriachan]

Well because my period started the day before getting the call which really made me mad i cancelled the call but I did meet someone today who is in the same problem and also just as long as my fiance and i have been trying as well i have seen her before she works in the lab at my doctors office so its nice to know someone in Washington state(which if u dont live in washington state let me tell u that its like pregnant central its hard to go anywhere walmart, doctors office, out to eat that there isnt someone who around that is pregnant)

But right now going to talk to my doctor about ordering all labs to see if anything is out of balance just havent done it yet

 

[Whimsical88]

Val, so sorry that AF has come. that just really messes with your cycle lenghts. you do need to do the blood work then you can have more answers. i dont think it will cost that much even if insurance dont cover it.
its so funny you say Washington is pregnant central. i feel like that about everywhere. the worst is going to the OB. there was once i went and i was the only one not pregnant. there were women in different months plus a newborn and you know how people do for newborns.
i think that because we having such a hard time to conceive, we just that much more aware of other ladies. and sometimes you do get like everyone pregnant at one. usually after winter.

 

[Lancaeriel]

So, this is just to get things off my chest right....hope so....

For the past year we have been trying and no luck yet....well the past three weeks have been getting all the symptoms but aunt flow just had to show her ugly face last night....I am so frustrated and depressed at having the symptoms every time I get hopeful and all the tests show negative....this would be our first....am I overthinking everything or doing something wrong....any thoughts or tips on TTC would be awesome...links to help out....I am at a loss here...T_T

 

[Valeriachan]

We all know where u r coming from bc we have all been there even thinking maybe i am doing something wrong i have looked up everything from best sex positions to what does this mean to even things i wish i knew before

I knew that getting pregnant wasnt going to be easy bc my older sister has been through this same problem she had PCOS and she was told that her chances were very very slim but a couple of years later she finally got pregnant

my little sister on the other hand has no idea just how much it hurts to watch every person u know get the blessing of children and she has the nerve to say stuff i would rather not even resay bc she pissed me off so badly with it to top that off she is pregnant and she is living under mine and my fiances roof talk about a kick in the gut i think right now i would rather have gotten a kick in the gut then have to deal with her.

SO trust us we know what u r going through

 

[Whimsical88]

Lan are you temping? have you had any bloodwork done?
we all understand where you coming from and we sorry for you having to go through this but dont worry you will get your BFP. fx.

Val have you tried maybe telling your sister of your situation so as to have her not be so insensitive when talking to you. maybe moving out or tell her to move out may help your relationship with her too.

 

[Valeriachan]

Okay i have explained in length and in more ways then one that she isnt being very insensitive but she doesnt see it that way and she makes to change in her way of approaching things that have to do with her first child like she will say "our child" or "my daughter" any chance she gets

They dont have a job and the only money they have coming in is from the state(TANF) and when he goes down and donates Plasma so they have no means to get there own place which would really help if they would get the f*ck out of here bc they are so stressful not just bc she is pregnant just how she is

both my fiance and I have jobs and she has always got some reason to say "if u got pregnant i wouldnt support" that is what really threw me over right now i cant even talk to her or look at her i look at other stuff that is in the room.

this is one thing that i will say she said the other day
okay at the end of her baby shower my mom was going to talk to them about them really needing to get a job and also how bad her first child gets because they dont teach her well in the middle of the conversation she started talking to me about me wanting to get pregnant well she mentioned my weight and so other stuff but something she said was personally stupid but i have asked a couple of people and got the same answers so u look and tell me if i am wrong

she said "okay grab the car seat put a gallon jug in it of Mayo, Water or whatever u want and run up and down the stairs(we live upstairs) 3 times with it."

Okay first off why would anyone be running up and down the stairs with a baby in a car seat and second off other then keep forgetting something either upstairs or down in the car why would more than 1 trip happen at any given time and if that is the case if the car which it is right down the stairs why would anyone take the car seat any other then the one trip now if it is going stairs then yes because i would never leave a unattended baby in a car(kidnappers escape with the car and baby) now with the going up with the baby from the car thats different can put the baby in a pay pin or crib doesnt have to be brought down each time.

If I am wrong please explain and point out where i am wrong with this

Because even in the end she was still no that isnt how it happens like lots of appointments and having to run up and down the stairs like that is necessary. Well i was there taking her to all of her appointments before and although there wasnt as many stairs as before there was never more than 1 appointment that would cause us to leave right after the other with no time to sit down and relax

 

[Whimsical88]

Val your sister is impossibly selfish and she has to go. i do not want to tell you what to do but having your sister there is just causing you to have a poisoness environment which in no way will help get pregnant. the stress from that itself is too much for you. if she can afford to have a second baby, she can afford to get out and live on her own. a condom is cheaper than diapers! i am all for having babies but your sister is making your life difficult and making you look after her family. there really is just too much stress in your life. you have to tell her to leave. this will eventually break your family if you actually keeep them under your roof. her comments were really not nice and as a sister to her sister, she doesnt deserve all you are doing for her. she has to go.

your stress levels affect how your body works and with the way your sister is, i dont see you ever being healthy to just start trying nicely.

im so sorry for you

 

[Valeriachan]

Whim trust me my fiance and i both want them both out that is the thing they dont have the money n basically how it feels to me n a few other people is they dont want to move out(even though they have said they are tired of living under our roof because we dont live how they want to live(n when i told her that we wanted them out as well she was like why? well i tried to explain the reasons to her but how she sees it is bc they on occasion clean up after us they are always helping us but its like we do nothing for them.) n most months they spend the money before they give me even gas money or even helping for rent it has almost been a year and they have barely paid anything at all so my fiance and i never have money for ourselves bc we are paying for an apartment that basically doesnt get used by us bc they take up all the space basically our room is all we get

front room there stuff
living room there stuff
balcony storage there stuff
first childs room there stuff
both hall closests there stuff
and there room there stuff
kitchen cant even be kept how we were like it
its like always wait to to do laundry and take showers bc they are always in it or using it always
and dont even get me started on pantry space

its like she complains we dont take pride in our place well how we see it we arent in our place when we are we will take pride in it it isnt our place it feels that it is there place that we pay for basically just that.

I completely agree with ur statement of
she doesnt deserve all you are doing for her. she has to go.

but when our mom lums over so much it is such a pain in the ass

 

[Myshelsong]

If you can't get her to move out, you guys move and find another apartment. Sounds like you won't have very much to move anyways, since most of the stuff in the rooms is hers. I feel so bad for you, the only thing you can do is get out and let someone else take care of the mess of a sister.

Hope you feel better. I have no idea what I would do

 

[Valeriachan]

I feel that it is unfair that we have to move when it is our place that is what is getting annoying we shouldnt have to move when it is our name that is on the lease and thats the thing they r living here not on the lease bc they said they would only be here for a few months here it is almost a year like 7 days away from a year it isnt even fair we like our apartment well we like the layout of our apartment thats all we can like bc we feel like it isnt our apartment. We just pay for it is all