Looking for people TTC after miscarriage

[Yellowmoon]

Sorry for AF Pretty. Hope this cycle is going well so far.

Hey Sally, I'm just a few days ahead of you this cycle. Pretty sure O'd around CD14 that's just going off of the CM. Not using OPKs anymore. Just doing BD every other day like you, trying not to try haha! I'm on CD18 btw.

Gonna test next weekend and continue to eat healthy and exercise and try and enjoy my life not obsessing about ttc. Easier said than done.

I'll keep you guys posted in case you're interested. Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[LadyStardust4]

Sorry about AF Pretty. I always have mixed emotions on cycle day 1. I'm disappointed I'm not pregnant again but excited to try again. After so many cycles, it does become tedious though!

I've been trying again since September so I've now had four unsuccessful tries since we lost the baby in August. I have tried OPKs on and off but I am not convinced by them. I'm thinking of trying temping but not sure if I am organised enough haha!

Can anybody recommend a good temping thermometer. Would be good if it comes with a chart!

Good luck Sally and Yellow. Hope our time is just around the corner

 

[MrsFruitie]

CD 21/8dpo in cycle 4 since Mmc for me and struggling not to symptom spot. Last pregnant I had sharp stabbing pains on and off 8dpo/9dpo, and I feels like I have been having same pains past couple of days. It’s probably nothing and I’m just being extremely hopeful. Words can’t describe how much we want a baby and to become a family of 3.
It’s just been my 31st birthday and I spent a lot of it in tears. I should have been 5 months pregnant with a baby tummy if I hadn’t had the mmc.

 

[LadyStardust4]

MrsFruitie - I feel like I can really relate. The baby we lost was also our first pregnancy and we just desperately wanted to be a family. We still do and it's so disheartening that we still aren't pregnant again.

I'm really praying for you and hope this is your month. If it's not, we are all here for you.

 

[Yellowmoon]

Hey Mrs Frutie- I’m in the exact same boat as you. I’m CD21 today- had sharp pains all of yesterday and a bit the day before. Things seemed to have eased up today. Not sure if it’s coz I feel a bit constipated though! ... I kinda feel like this must be it too! This is my 2nd official cycle trying, although i did kind of try before I got the first AF. I really hope this is the month.

I understand how you feel, it’s horrible. A friend of mine is preggo and we would have been due around the same time. I forced my self to message her and see how she’s doing today. She doesn’t know I had a miscarriage. But she’s so happy and excited and will be finding out the gender soon. Part of me feels like I will never experience that joy. But I keep reminding myself that mc is very common and my time WILL come. And so will yours! It’s always good to be hopeful. Wishing you lots of luck and babydust!

 

[MrsFruitie]

Thanks Ladies. I think today I might have been imagining it as all cramping has disappeared! Fingers crossed this is our month though!!!

Had an awful day today,I’ve been told I’m getting made redundant, so now I have finding a new job stress whilst trying to start a family! Not ideal!!


Xx

 

[HappyWay]

Sorry to hear about the job situation Fruitie!

It sounds to me like implantation cramping, Fx this is your month!

 

[Sallyanne81]

Oh no Frutie thinking about you, just what you need at the moment! On the positive side though it could be implantation cramping, I had that when I found out I was pregnant the last time.

I have used OPKs, CM, temping and CP this month (really not trying honestly!) I have to say though they all coincided, so I think they are all as good as each other, the charting is a bit tedious though I have to say.

This is cycle 4 for me too this month, I think we are all not far off each other with our cycles i'm CD19 but only 2dpo, really hoping for some more positives for everyone this month, even if it's not me it still gives me some hope.

On the SIL front she's nearly 6 months now and I would have been nearly 5, she's constantly in bed, always tired and complaining of a bad back, she isn't even working! For some reason I am finding it difficult to feel sorry for her. It's really annoying me that she's treating pregnancy like it's an illness. On the positive side for me though they are talking about leaving the country hooray, trying not to get my hopes up too much though

 

[LadyStardust4]

Oh MrsFrutie - sorry to hear about your job Hope you find something else really soon so you don't have to stress too much!

Sally - good to hear that all your ovulation tracking methods are aligning. I also hope we have some more good news stories soon! Made me laugh about your SIL - when I was pregnant, I suffered quite badly with nausea and exhaustion but I'd give anything to have it back now!

I've got a slight rant I've been saving and I really hope you all don't mind!

Not sure if any of you will remember our friends who announced their pregnancy with the super insensitive video on a group chat? Well, that was about 4 weeks ago and we've now fallen out with them. My partner had spoken to his friend on the phone the next morning and congratulated them on behalf of us both and explained that we were still going through a hard time with baby stuff and genetic testing. At the time... he seemed to understand. However, I noticed that his wife had left our group chat last week and realised she was upset. So I sent her a message yesterday reaching out to her. It basically said "I saw you left our chat, I get it's an exciting time for you guys but we're having a hard time and it's not easy for us to deal with things like that. You might have to bare with us whilst we work through it but we're happy for you - congrats".

Took a lot for me to send that message and I ended up receiving the most hurtful response ever. She said we should have messaged her 4 weeks ago and it hurt that we 'ignored' them (which we didn't - as I said, my partner spoke to him on the phone the next day). She said "your misfortune is nothing to do with us and I don't understand why we're being punished"

Which said it all really... they want nothing to do with us unless it's good news. So my partner phoned up his friend, told him what was what and that was that LOL.

Worst part is - they have announced their pregnancy all over social media at 10 weeks before their scan. They know full well that we got our bad news at our scan but they are clearly too arrogant to think it could happen to them and their 'perfect' family.

Really upset me but on the bright side, that's two poisonous people we've cut out of our lives.

SORRY FOR THE RANT!! I do this a lot don't I hahaha

Baby dust to all xx

 

[Yellowmoon]

Sorry about the job Frutie. Hope you find something soon.

Sally- I have no sympathy for any moany pregnant ladies now. I just don't want to hear any of it. I'm such a Scrooge haha.

Lady- that woman sounds awfulllll, I was saying to my husband the other day that dickhead (for want of a better word) people always seem to get everything they want. She sounds like that type. Very spoilt. I'd have given her a piece of my mind, the silly cow. Rant away, sis! I'm with you, LOL.

 

[HappyWay]

Lady,

It surprises me how people can be so self-obsessed, i cannot even start to understand where she got the idea that 'they're being punished'!! All i got was how understanding you and your partner were.

I'm glad you moved away from all this negativity and drama, take care and focus on YOU.

 

[Sallyanne81]

OMG Lady! That's ridiculous behaviour, so hurtful, I totally agree you are better off without these toxic people in your life. I don't understand what they want, you said congrats, do they want you fawning over them everyday or something?

I just don't understand why the feelings have to be all one way? Why do we have to pour our congratulations and excitement on the preg ones but they don't have to give understanding, condolences and support to us? How many times did she reach out to you to ask how you were?

That was my experience as well with SIL I was expected to be happy for them but I got nothing back from them or any of the in-laws, other than 'oh well, at least you can get pregnant', 'be more patient' etc., no-one asked me how I was, how I was feeling.

 

[LadyStardust4]

Thanks for the kind words ladies. It's good to have my feelings validated so I know I'm not the one in the wrong!!

Sally - this was my main gripe actually. I didn't receive a single text/phone call to ask how I was after it all happened and they were in the small circle of people to know I was pregnant at like 6 weeks. We saw them a couple of times after it happened and they never brought it up. Maybe they didn't know how to approach the subject but we definitely didn't feel they were that supportive.

So to wave their excitement in our faces and then get angry that we didn't let off party poppers in their face is a joke

Apparently when my other half phoned the husband he said "Well you guys should have put on a brave face and just said congratulations in the group chat".

In November, we went along to their son's 4th Birthday Party and that was really difficult for me being surrounded by babies and children. I nearly had a panic attack but they would never know...

And yes... people always say "At least you know you can get pregnant" and that is SUCH a pet peeve of mine. People just don't get it do they.

Fingers crossed for your SIL leaving the country hahaha!

 

[Yellowmoon]

Hey ladies- I've been testing early (couldn't help myself) all look like

I'm only 10/11 Dpo I think...but I feel like I would have seen the faintest of lines on a FRER By now.I did last time anyway. Not feeling hopeful this month. Gonna skip testing and wait for AF on Monday now.

 

[LadyStardust4]

Sorry to hear that Yellowmoon!

I have stopped testing early as it just isn't worth the anguish. I now try to assume I am not pregnant until my period comes and then if I am late I allow myself to test.

Really hope it happens for you soon x

 

[Yellowmoon]

Thanks Lady. I need to stop testing early. I think that’s a good tactic to assume it’s a no unless AF is late. I keep thinking I’m deffo gona be and then I’m not. It’s upsetting.

Hoping for your rainbow too xx

 

[MrsFruitie]

Hi Yellowmoon, I’m due on Monday and in the same boat as you. Was so sure I was pregnant this month and did a test yesterday but BFN. If I had had implantation pains like a thought, I should have had a faint line by now.

X

 

[LadyStardust4]

We all just need to keep the faith just think - a year from now we might all be pregnant or have our rainbow babies and we can keep in touch to discuss progress.

I saw Chickybaby in another forum and she has found out her pregnancy turned out to be twins! So my thoughts are very much with her at the moment for a healthy pregnancy. Very exciting!

 

[Yellowmoon]

Hi Fruite- Sorry for BFN. It really sucks but it’s still early for us. There is a grain of hope lol.

Yes Lady! It will definitely happen for us. Would love to keep in touch. So lovely about Chicky as well! Twins!! What a dream!

I had a tiny bit of spotting earlier...doesn’t usually happen to me this early before period so I will try a cheapie test tonight if AF hasn’t just shown her face way early. I think she might though coz I’m having sharp pains in my tummy still. At least it would mean I can get started on my next cycle i guess lol.

 

[lesondemavie]

Sorry for my absence. I’ve not been doing well and I don’t want to bring you down with my negativity. A lot is going on that I’m not handling well. The cute photos of my nephew with his new baby brother are tough. I have to go through this again when my other nephew becomes a big brother next month. I feel like I’m hurting my relationship with my brother but I just can’t celebrate with him while my heart is aching for my own daughter.

I thought I’m a mom already so this will be easier but now as a mom I want to give my daughter the world. I wanted to make her a big sister in April and I’m grappling now with the unknown with the how and when and how much more.

I thought I’d trust my body to do this again since it’s done it before, but I don’t. I feel like we won the lottery with my daughter and I don’t know that we will again. I mean what are the odds right?

Lady - I had something similar happen with both my SIL (the one who just made her son a big brother) and one of my husband’s friend’s wife. So glad your partner stood with you. Mine didn’t and it sucked...we worked through it as a couple but it sucked. It’s incredible how daft people can be. So many think you should just be able to turn on and off your grief at will so they don’t have to feel bad. It doesn’t work that way at all, and they can just all go suck eggs for being so awful.

So we will be trying again in a few months. Just as I turn 37. The whole aging thing terrifies me, but I’m trying to remember that even though age increases risk of miscarriage, it’s still low and Turner’s is not associated with age. It is, however, associated with caffeine intake and I recently discovered my husband was drinking at least double the recommended limit for men! Probably more. And daily at that. He agreed to cut back, but it takes 2-3 months for a refresh like that so we’ll wait and try in a few months and see what happens. After all of these years of looking at me and me cutting out caffeine (and so much else) completely, I can’t believe we didn’t look at him more closely!