Looking for people TTC after miscarriage

[MrsFruitie]

Hi LadyStardust!

Glad to hear you’re getting there.
I’ve been feeling more like myself in past few days. Finally feel up to working again! (As soon as I’m in the office I’ll wish I wasn’t though)
Just bought a load of ovulation sticks again to start trying again. Wishing the bleeding away... roll on first period though!!

 

[Chickybaby]

Hi ladies glad to hear everyone is starting to get back to some form of normal.

Lesonde, love the 'that's not helpful right now' comment you use with your husband. Great way of letting them no its not the time without getting too personal or angry, might try that one myself. I hope you are feeling OK with the arrival of a new cycle, are you going to try this cycle? Did the genetic results come in yet? (If you don't mind me asking)

MrsFruitie, hope the bleeding has stopped for you now. Blah seems to go on forever! I think I bled for around two weeks after passing everything, may have spotted on and off a bit longer but I already don't remember exactly. It sucks though, definitely a constant reminder! Good luck with your return to work xx

Ladystardust, glad to hear you are getting there despite the ups and downs. Yes the nostril comment is quite finny in hindsight, not so much at the time haha we have had a few laughs about it since. Hope ovulation happens for you soon.

AFM, not a lot going on, been busy with friends, family and work. We had friends over Saturday night and when I saw she wasn't drinking I felt so anxious that they were pregnant, the relief I felt when she finally cracked a beer was crazy, made me realize I really do want another baby soon... Still waiting on AF, its only been 5 weeks since we found out our babe had passed and s little over 4 since all the tissue passed but only 2.5 since I stopped bleeding so anyone's guess where that would put me. How has it only been that long?

Sorry if I missed anything. Hope you are all doing OK. Xx

 

[lesondemavie]

Something went awry and the testing place said the test was never ordered. They still have everything and are doing the test now. Should have the results by late this week or early next week.

That sounds exactly like my reaction when my SIL wasn’t drinking back in July. I already had one SIL pg and the terror of going through another loss (as we were just starting to try them) while they both had happy, healthy pregnancies set in big time. It turns out she was 7 weeks along then, and they told us their last afternoon with us. Ugh, the worst. I hate finding out those things in person AL...processing the emotions in front of this person with such happy news is sooo hard. I almost wish she just kept me guessing and didn’t tell me. Then I could have found out with the rest of the family while I was happily pg and thinking things might just work out this time. Or at least told us before they arrived so I could sort through the emotions before seeing them. Now here I am, those fears a reality, and it absolutely has affected how much contact I want with them both.

I joke with DH that my brother and SIL are bad luck for us. We conceived both of our little babes lost to mmc while they were in town visiting. What are the odds right?

Chicky: My post-mmc cycles always come about 1 week later than usual. I have short cycles so that’s why AF came just 4 weeks later for me. Doctors always warn me that it could be a long while and then are shocked when it comes right when I predicted...but yea the take away is that I’m not the norm. Hopefully just another week or so for you

Oh AFM I have a huge cyst on my left ovary. Probably left over from the pregnancy. Explains why I felt O and why I was feeling pain/pressure on that side for a while. E2 is low so it’s not a problem and should resolve on its own. They’ll take a look though with my uterine eval this cycle when they check for scar tissue.

 

[Chickybaby]

Oh how frustrating about the testing, glad to hear it shouldn't be too long now. Hope the cyst resolves itself quickly. How do they check for scar tissue? Is that an ultrasound?

Yup, pretty awful feeling but I don't care. I want to be pregnant before anyone else haha. It won't matter one day but at the moment i don't want to hear anyone else is blah. It was the same when TTC my son. It felt like it pur pressure on somehow, like we needed to get pregnant quick before anyone else had chance. I guess I have a mean jealous streak in me!

I have this weird battle going on inside me. Part of me is fine with waiting for a bit, getting my vitamin levels back up, focusing on myself and my family and the new business I just started. The other part of me feels panicky, I have that tight feeling in my chest when I think of the expanding age gap. The likelihood of other pregnancies being announced and babies being born. The fear that this wasn't just bad luck but something's wrong... That last time was a fluke and we might not be that lucky again. This part of me easily spirals down the 'what if' hole. Trying to acknowledge those feats without letting that tight heavy feeling take over.

Hopefully AF won't be too far away. I'm hoping that it will be here next week if not this week. After that I will be getting frustrated. Looking to start weaning my boy, he only feeds a maximum of 3 times a day but is showing no interest in stopping so will have to ease him in that direction soon. I'm sure BF isn't helping with my cycle length etc.

 

[lesondemavie]

I think they call it a saline sonohysterogram or SSH. Simple procedure done at the clinic and won’t take much longer than an ultrasound. I do need to take an antibiotic for 3 days and it can cause cramping, but I did the hsg back in 2016 and that was easy for me so expecting the same with this procedure.

 

[lesondemavie]

Ssh cancelled. Hcg still 4 and they need it under 2. Apparently that means I can’t try this cycle either since I still have tissue producing Hcg. Lots of tears today. It just brought everything back and I want to either power through or be done. I don’t want to wait another month. I don’t know. I wasn’t even really sure I wanted to try for a second before, and now I really feel like I just want to stop. Going to take a break and see how I feel. Best of luck to you all.

 

[LadyStardust4]

Ssh cancelled. Hcg still 4 and they need it under 2. Apparently that means I can’t try this cycle either since I still have tissue producing Hcg. Lots of tears today. It just brought everything back and I want to either power through or be done. I don’t want to wait another month. I don’t know. I wasn’t even really sure I wanted to try for a second before, and now I really feel like I just want to stop. Going to take a break and see how I feel. Best of luck to you all.

Poor you sending hugs your way. I felt exactly the same before my cycles returned. You feel like it’s so drawn out and you can’t move on right away.

Hope everyone is doing ok!

I’ve got friends coming over to drop off their 4 y/o son later so they can go to an appointment. They haven’t once said what type of appointment it is and they want to ‘catch up’ when they get here. Just convinced they’re pregnant again and if they are I wish they’d just tell us by text so I don’t have to hide my genuine reaction

X

 

[Chickybaby]

Argh lesonde I'm so frustrated for you what a shit show this all is! I thought some women had a natural hcg of 4? Could be wrong, my doctor wanted to see under 5 and mine was also a 4. Who knows? I'm sorry but I'm struggling to find words of comfort because I no there aren't any. This isn't fair. I'm angry for you. The appointments and stalling must make it all feel so fresh. I think I've put it all in a box and put that in the dark back part of my brain. I'm tired of it all, I don't want to be 'the one who lost a baby' anymore. I'm not sure how I will feel when my cycle returns, that box will probably open and the grief and fear will come out, for now that box is staying closed. Sorry I got rambly... I hope you find some form of peace in whatever decision you make and enjoy a beautiful holiday season with your little girl if you don't come back before then. Xx

 

[Chickybaby]

AFM, hi ladies, still no AF, don't even think I've ovulated yet... CM I'd up and down, lots of pinching and cramping... Starting to frustrate me sometimes but out of my control so accepting the break that is being enforced by my body. Busy with life anyway. Looking after my in laws place this week in the city (we live out in the country) so looking forward to being able to do lots of walking and going to the park and things with my boy. Beautiful week on the forecast here.

I've put on soooo much weight this past few months from reducing BF, being pregnant and then grieving. I'm ready to get in shape again and start looking after myself, if not to sustain a healthy pregnancy then to just feel better in myself.

Ladystardust I so understand that suspicion! I've been like that with everyone, convinced everyone is pregnant. I hope that if that is the case you are OK.

Has been quiet on here hope that means you are all finding peace and getting on with living life xxx

 

[MrsFruitie]

Has anyone had their first AF post miscarriage? And if so how many weeks after miscarriage? It’s 3 weeks tomorrow since my hospital trip. It’ll be a sad day for me as I have to do the pregnancy test to confirm negative and all over... just want my period now (something I never thought I’d say!!!)

 

[Chickybaby]

Still waiting here, over 5 weeks now.

 

[lesondemavie]

My first AF came the evening of CD29 (counting the day of my D&C as CD1) BUT my cycles unmedicated are typically 21 days, so I am definitely not the norm.

I’m feeling a bit better after a good weekend with my family. We gardened and it rained for the first time in a long time. That’s just it though. I’m happy. Life is happy. TTC or rather waiting to for yet another month is not. I suppose we don’t have to decide now, but I need to live what remains of this cycle as though we’re done and just put this behind me.

An old grad school friend announced her April baby on Facebook today. I managed to not throw my phone across the room (which is what I did after my first mmc).

 

[Chickybaby]

Glad you are doing a bit better lesonde, good going not totally losing your shit. Haven't seen any announcements yet myself, hoping there won't be any. A few people I no are having babies in Jan or Feb. I found out about those when I was pregnant so I'm dealing with that fine. We have other friends that have been renovating and weren't making any decisions on when to try for a baby until they moved in, they're moving this weekend. I'm shit scared they're going to start trying and I'm going to feel like its a competition to see who gets pregnant the fastest. In theory having close friends to be pregnant with and have babies with sounds great, but that ugly part of me wants it to be me first

 

[HappyWay]

MrsFruitie,

I got my first AF 5 weeks after miscarriage. My usual cycle is 4 weeks.

 

[LadyStardust4]

Before the loss I had a regular 28 day cycle. I had my first period about 5 weeks after the termination. It lasted 7 days and usually it's over in 4 days. Today is cycle day 28 after that initial period and no sign of period yet. My whole cycle has been a bit weird - I had the EWCM twice during the cycle so no idea when I ovulated.

Lesondemavie - So pleased to hear you're coping so well. I can imagine gardening is very therapeutic. Chickybaby - totally understand the pregnancy announcement dreads. It's a permanent fixture of my ongoing anxiety at the moment! haha.

 

[Weebles]

I'm still struggling to cope with my mmc but I feel desperate to be pregnant again in a way I can't explain. I miss my baby, I'm grieving and there is a hole in my heart, but still I want to try again. My OB said to wait until I had my next cycle before ttc but I can't find any reason to wait besides dating. I'm still bleeding anyway and it's like a kick in the gut. I just want it to stop. I hope you ladies don't mind if I join you. I just feel so alone and even though I wish no one else in the world could understand...I don't feel the same as I used to. I don't feel excited to be ttc. I hate being here but I need to be here.

 

[2Baby2]

Looking for a group to join, Im currently experiencing my first miscarriage at 5w4d (I think) early I know but I let my self get excited after multiple positives and the Dr confirming my pregnancy

Hope these details are too much.

I went to the ER on Sunday after waking up to bleeding and the ER dr confirmed my cervix was open and my count was 22. I’m scheduled go to my OB on Thursday for a follow up.

Right now I’m just frustrated and low. My work is not being understanding about time off and my moods are Alllll overrrrr the place!

I know it’s early but I have mixed feelings about TTC again, I have a lot of time to make the decision but right now I’m thinking no early results test. Also I get angry/down when I take my prenatals (in case we try again right away) it’s just a reminder of what we lost.

There’s my collection of random thoughts, just looking for a group of ladies who understand

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh weebles I’m so sad to see you here

The science on waiting or not is mixed. Some studies show an increased rate of miscarriage right after a miscarriage...but they don’t really know why and other numbers say otherwise. My specialist says medical consensus is to wait. She wants my hcg under 2 because anything higher could mean I still have dead tissue left producing hcg. I told her I really wanted to try this cycle, and she basically said that if I do and we conceive and we miscarry again then we’ll know why (and this is the cycle after my mmc cycle). As much as I want to buck her recommendation to wait, I just couldn’t live with that if we conceived and miscarried again, and we’ll with my history odds are I will no matter the reason.

I don’t remember ever feeling excited about ttc. It was fear and then grief and then numbness followed by cautious optimism and last total peace when I finally held my daughter. I suppose none of this is much of a pep talk, but I mean to say this sort of dark, sad journey is temporary...longer than we’d hope but definitely not forever. Being carefree and excited isn’t everything...at least I hope not, I tell myself that I get to love deeper bc of this. In the end, it really does make the happy bits shine brighter.

AFM: Today was 14 days since they sorted out my genetic testing...and still no call. Guess I’ll have to reach out tomorrow. So frustrating.

 

[Chickybaby]

Weebles, the desperate need to be pregnant again is so normal, we put pressure on ourselves to try and right that wrong in some ways I think, if you get what I mean? While you are still bleeding and going through the waves of hormones and intense grief it I'd hard to feel any joy or move forward in any way. I have chosen to wait one cycle before trying again on the advice of my doctor, she said its mainly to allow iron etc to build back up and no that your body I'd back to dome form of normal, the doctor I saw at the hospital said its only for dating. Its coming up 6 weeks since I passed all the tissue and no AF yet, think my body is pretty screwed up from it all.

2Baby2, sorry for your loss, you still loved your baby the moment you knew they existed, it doesn't matter how early it was, it hurts. I can understand the anger with your prenatals. I feel the same some days. I no to take them for next time but it sucks taking something for a baby that isn't there anymore. I hope you find some comfort here. Reading back over some posts in this thread may be helpful and make you feel less alone.

Lesonde, hope you can get those results back soon. Extremely annoying having to chase them up after everything.

AFM. Ordered ovulation tests. Once they arrive I will start doing them daily, that way I will no within 2 weeks if I've ovulated, I will either get AF, a positive test or not.

 

[2Baby2]

Today is my first day back to work, I took the day after off.

I’m not happy where I work, my manager and his assistant and not very understanding of anything family or mental health related so I’m not looking forward to today. I’m sure I’ll hear phrases like “did you really need to use a sick day yesterday?” And “Why do you have to go to the dr, can’t you just reschedule it?”
(Keep in mind I work at a very slow bank, and there are 2 other bankers who can easily man the branch for 1 day and a long lunch so I can go to the dr, I’m not a teacher or doctor where me being present makes a difference)

Don’t need anymore negativity in my life.

Mean people suck!