Looking for people TTC after miscarriage

[HappyWay]

2Baby2, Weebles,
I can only give you , i felt as alone and that no one in the world can ever understand me after the loss, but i promise, it will get better. Cry if you want to cry, talk to your spouse if you want to, or Don't if you don't feel like it, watch TV if you want to, or just sit idle if you feel like it, try and find strength in anything YOU want to do right now. Lots of love and hugs from us.

 

[Weebles]

I'm sad to see you here too lesonde. And so many others from the dewdrops thread. I was excited when we first started ttc my DD but that waned as we struggled with conceiving. And I was excited to start ttc a sibling and even more so when it happened so easily. Or so I thought. I don't think I can ever feel that excitement again but I think you are right, it's not everything. I guess we just trudge forward until we get where we want to be. I hope you get some answers soon though, or at the very least the results of your tests. About the hcg though, I was under the impression anything under 5 is good as there can be some present in our bodies even without pregnancy. But then again, I'm not a doctor.

Chicky, I am worried about how long my body will take to return to its normal cycles. Like you I am still nursing (and trying to gently encourage weening) and also have worries/anxiety over the ever increasing age gap. From my signature you can see my first two are very far apart in age and while they are wonderful together I want my DD and a third LO to be able to grow up together and be playmates/friends. I was so excited to be having two under two, even if it was only to be for a couple months as I felt it was the ideal age gap. My lifelong dream come true. That window has passed, the door closed. I think we are going to ttc if I believe I am ovulating even without another cycle. I will just try to trust that my body won't release an egg until it is ready and I hope I will not have to wait too long. If we don't catch it I will take the clomid I happen to have on hand my next cycle. (We conceived the baby I lost on our 5 month of NTNP but really it was trying as all our intercourse was timed, it just felt like NTNP without all the fertility testing and fertility meds. I wasn't going to count us as really trying until I took that clomid)

2baby2 I thought I was 12 weeks when I found out about my mmc but really I was 11. But I have loved all my babies right from the start, no matter how small. And that love was there at 5 weeks just the same. My father has taken my mc the hardest of all besides my husband and I. He is a man who has lost two out of three children, one as a child before I was born and the other my younger brother several years ago. And my dad said while crying on the phone with me that now I know the pain of loosing a child. He recognized the depth of my grief. I hope your first day back at work is smooth and uneventful. It frustrates me that mc isn't recognized for what it is, both physically and emotionally, in the workplace... and pretty much everywhere else too.

Thanks happyway. I really have been trying to take care of my self which is hard under the circumstances. My husband has been calling from work and reminding me to eat. Getting enough sleep has been the most difficult but also the most helpful. Sleep is when a lot of healing takes place, physically and mentally. I got a good night's rest last night and I do feel better, like I can organize my feelings and start to process them.

 

[MrsFruitie]

Sorry for your losses to the new ladies that have joined the group. We are all hear for you for anything you want to talk about or need. Big huge hugs.

Another lady from Dewdrops. It’s so sad to see so many ladies move from that group to this one.

Much love to everyone

 

[Chickybaby]

Pink spotting here, some red. Possible CD1 but to light to call it just yet. Will go for a walk after nap time to see if it progresses.

 

[2Baby2]

Shocking the bleeding has slowed considerably today....hoping that’s a good sign, I have a dr appointment tomorrow so we’ll see what my levels are and when we can ttc again.

Honestly, I feel better being able to come here and share my thoughts and feeling and struggles. My DH is great and super supportive but you ladies understand it first hand.

Thank you all for your love support!!

 

[Chickybaby]

Definitely AF, wasn't expecting her but feeling pretty good emotionally. Physically she's being a real bitch. Painful cramps. I've always had pretty bad cramping but my one pp period after my son I didn't feel any. Choosing to take this as a good sign that everything is being cleaned out to start fresh. Should have opks soon but will probably try for sex every other day. Will see how we go.

2baby2, glad you are finding being here helpful. The men in our lives try but they don't really get it. They can shut it out immediately, not saying they're not hurting too but we have to go through all the physical pain, blood tests, ultrasounds and hormones changes as well as the emotional side. Glad the bleeding has slowed, I only started to move on on any way once it had stopped. Hope your appointment goes well.

 

[2Baby2]

Chicky, hopefully the cramps are too bad, excited that you can ttc soon!

My OB told me to wait to ideally 2 cycles but she’d be okay with just waiting for 1 cycle.

On the fence about ovulation test strips, we got lucky with our first after ttc for 2 months and I had been on birth control for 12 years. I’m worried that testing all the time will put extra stress on everything and make it more clinical. Last time we just BD everyone other day sometimes every third day.

I’m trying to look at this month as a time to focus on my family and enjoy spending time with hubby doing things we can’t do once I’m preggo (hopefully quickly lol) like hot tubbing and sushi lol

 

[Chickybaby]

2baby2, I've done the same this past month. What was her reason for waiting 2 cycles? Opks aren't for everyone and can cause more stress for sure. I used them with my son because my cycles were so screwy after being on the pill. First cycle I used them was the first time we hit our timing right and we got pregnant (had been 6 months of long cycles and bad timing before). This time I didn't bother, I have had ovulation spotting the couple of cycles I've had since his birth so we just timed it around that and got pregnant first try. I only really ordered them because I hadn't gotten AF yet and wanted some insight to what was going on. Of course she arrives the day after. I will use them though, its been such a long time since I have had regular periods so they might help me work out what is my 'normal'

 

[2Baby2]

2baby2, I've done the same this past month. What was her reason for waiting 2 cycles? Opks aren't for everyone and can cause more stress for sure. I used them with my son because my cycles were so screwy after being on the pill. First cycle I used them was the first time we hit our timing right and we got pregnant (had been 6 months of long cycles and bad timing before). This time I didn't bother, I have had ovulation spotting the couple of cycles I've had since his birth so we just timed it around that and got pregnant first try. I only really ordered them because I hadn't gotten AF yet and wanted some insight to what was going on. Of course she arrives the day after. I will use them though, its been such a long time since I have had regular periods so they might help me work out what is my 'normal'

She said it would help rebuild my lining which seemed weird bc I’ve always thought that you lost all ur lining every time AF came around....she’s okay with one so I’m waiting one lol. She doesn’t think I’ll have any problems conceiving again, hopefully she’s right!!

 

[Weebles]

Tomorrow is my first day back at work. I'm dreading it. I also thought I had stopped bleeding but I was wrong. It's been 9 days now.. Ugh.

 

[lesondemavie]

Glad you can move on now Chicky.

 

[2Baby2]

Weebles- I was NOT looking forward to work at all, the only good thing was that it did help the day move by and occasionally keep my mind occupied. I wasn’t incredibly motivated but I told myself I’m at least going to make it to lunch and then reassess if I want to stay. Once I made it to lunch, I figured hell im already here I made it this far.

One day, one step at a time.

Let us know how it goes

 

[Chickybaby]

Weebles good luck with your first day back xx the bleeding is the worst! Its just like pp bleeding, every time you think its slowing down it picks back up again. It will slow down day by day though and will stop. I bled/spotted for two weeks after passing the baby.

 

[HappyWay]

Weebles,
Good luck with your first day. You can do it

 

[LadyStardust4]

Hi everyone

Sorry to see you here 2baby2 and Weebles but hope you are able to take some comfort in this group. You are not in this alone. Weebles - I hope your first day back at work is ok. You might find it is a welcome distraction!

Chickybaby - I recommend a hot water bottle and a nice long soak in the bath to relieve your cramps. But on the bright side - at least things are starting to regulate and you'll be able to track ovulation soon.

I've had a stressful few days. Anxiety was high on Saturday and then my car broke down and my partner had to go away for a couple of nights and I was finding it really difficult being alone and felt like everything was really getting on top of me. I'm not usually that needy - honestly!

My cycle is messed up too. I have always been a 28 day cycle kind of girl until this happened. My termination bleeding starting on 16th August, then started my first period 33 days later on 18th September. (I was fully expecting to wait a while for my first period).

I am now on day 31 of my next cycle and still no sign. I'm not pregnant - have tested a few times (obsessed) so I literally am just waiting for my body to decide when I can move on to the next cycle. Frustrating!

At least it's nearly Friday! What is everybody doing with their weekend? I am finishing work tomorrow then driving (2.5 hour journey) to my sister's to spend time with her and my baby nephew. Then I have an afternoon tea with my school friends for my best friend's 30th Birthday on Saturday. It's nice to have little things to look forward to and feel like a normal human being haha!

 

[caleblake]

Hi ladies

I’ve just been reading through the thread and it breaks my heart to learn of everyone’s losses.
I’m looking to start ttc again in November so wanted a safe place for support as I’m beyond petrified about pregnancy. Fortunately we have never had any issues actually getting pregnant and we have 2 little boys who are 7 & 8, but in the past I have suffered an early miscarriage and ectopic then this year I lost a little boy at 16 weeks pregnant in March. There was no cause found for why it happened as he was a perfectly healthy baby. We went on again and fell pregnant in June. I can honestly say it was horrible as I cried through every scan in absolute fear. Then at 9 weeks we were told the heart had stopped beating again. We found out the baby was a little girl and she had Down’s syndrome which is most likely why her heart stopped. We are now in the position we are ready to try again. there has been no links between our losses, just been really unlucky but I’m Petrified that I will loose another one.
Good luck to you all and looking forward to chatting with you over the next few weeks and months.

 

[lesondemavie]

LStar - Did you track when ovulation happened? I know mine was a bit later than usual for the first few cycles after my first mmc, which meant my cycles were a bit longer.

I’m thankful it looks like I just ovulated again, so another 10ish days before the next one. Not sure what I want to do yet, but it feels like I can maybe decide and move forward either way with the start of the next cycle.

I called the clinic for my genetic results and they still don’t have them. So frustrating! They’re calling the surgery center and will follow up with me later today. This clinic was so amazing the first time I used them and I still love the RE but the communication this time around is really just awful *sigh*

This weekend we’re seeing my parents for my mom’s bday and going to Octoberfest with a good friend and her family.

 

[MrsFruitie]

I think I MIGHT have a really early AF after the loss at only 3.5 weeks...

Had a few brown blood bleeds slightly more than spotting in past 2 days, but it’s turning redder and more frequent.

I’m not emotional at all when I thought I would be a mess. Thinking it’s a positive and a relief for being back on track and trying again.

We have a holiday coming up in 2 weeks, so if my body is back on track then it’d be nice to start trying again then.

Also hello to new ladies and I’m am so very sorry for your losses.

This group are an incredible bunch of strong women, so we will all support you with anything. We will all listen and share our experience.

We will get through this and all have our rainbow babies

 

[2Baby2]

Got my blood results back today
Hcg was a 4.5, I started to miscarry on Sunday 10/14 and my levels were 22

I’m kinda wondering if it was a chemical and I just ovulated SUPPPPEEERRRR late or what with such low numbers. Either way after I saw those lines I was in love.

This weekend should be interesting, we are going to a wedding for one of my best friends. My close group of girls all know we were/are TTC so I’m trying to prepare myself for the “when is number 2 coming along?” “You guys make a baby yet?”

Logically I know they are just joking bc no one new we were pregnant so they aren’t being total jerks but emotionally I’m sure it’s still gonna hurt.

 

[Chickybaby]

Hi girls.

ladystardust, thanks for the tips, just one day of cramps thankfully! Yes looking forward to getting back to some form of normal, whatever that is. Sorry you have had a tough couple of days, glad you are looking forward to some time with your sister and friends. Hope your new cycles starts soon for you xx

Hello caleblake, so sorry to hear of your losses, you are so strong and have been through far more than anyone should ever have to. This is a scary and often lonely road to travel but this little community we are growing here has been so helpful to me, hearing of others fears and thoughts and sharing my own has been extremely healing. I am about to get back on the TTC bandwagon in the next week and I am excited but nervous too, that bfp will be different this time, I think most of us have fear about loss when we learn we are pregnant, but after loss it seams like a reality not just a fear. At least thats how I can imagine it will feel.

Lesonde, so frustrating for you that you still haven't heard! As is this isn't all hard enough as it is. I hope you find out ASAP and the results and end of this cycle she's some light on what is the right path for you and your family at the moment. Sounds like a great weekend. Enjoy! Xx

MrsFruitie, great that your body seems to be getting back into gear so quickly. Yes I felt the same, I thought I would grieve all over again but have felt a sense of peace I .being able to move on one way or another. Still a bit angry about having to go through trying again and scared of what is to come but also a little excited about starting fresh. I feel stronger after going through this loss. It was awful, I'm terrified of it happening again and I still miss/want my baby. But I'm surviving, we are all surviving and I think that makes us all pretty damn strong. Holiday sounds like a perfect time to start trying again and get in some fun sex that isn't too scheduled around ovulation haha.

2baby2, I hope the wedding goes well' we have all dealt with nerves around impending questions on when the next or our first babies will be coming along. Each of us have felt with we things a little differently. For me it depended on who asked. I've had several people ask about number two, I have either we will see, hopefully or just told them straight up about what happened. Depends who asked. These comments are a bit of a stab in the heart for sure but you are right, people don't mean any harm. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though. I hope you have either avoided these questions or were able to deal with them and have a good time regardless.

Weebles, I hope your first day back went OK. How are you feeling now?

AFM, have just been working and living, AF still continuing on, most likely a day or two more. Amazing weather here, feels like summer has arrived! Will be planting my summer vege garden this weekend so looking forward to that. Sorry for those I missed.

Hope you are all well and enjoy your weekend xx