looking for ttc buddy?

[cla]

Melissa you are nearly there he will be ok Hun xxxx

 

[blessedmomma]

thanks girls!

my real concern is his size. i want him big and healthy. i go by my scan dates on here which puts me in my 36th week. by my cycle dates though he is in his 35th week. scan due date is march 18, cycle due date is march 23. im not sure when i ovulated so hopefully the scan dates are closer. i wish they would check his size again so i could see if he is putting on weight good.

Dh said to call and ask them to check his weight at his next scan monday so i might do that

 

[cla]

Don't forget to let us know how the scan goes.

 

[RedRose19]

im sure all will be fine mel, he is going to be a good weight, 6lbs onwards is seen as a normal weight and he prob is close to that now

 

[blessedmomma]

im sure all will be fine mel, he is going to be a good weight, 6lbs onwards is seen as a normal weight and he prob is close to that now

thanks hun. low fluid usually causes growth restriction so i cant really rely on dates too much. i think im just gonna have them check on monday if they will. i know a scan can be off by a pound either way and its even less reliable with high or low fluid, but it will make me feel better to hear he is bigger than he was.

how are you ladies doing today??? those babies are getting big!

 

[naderz]

hi ladies, sorry i ahvent been on. i have bad news..

at 25+6weeks (tuesday 7th feb) i had a gush of water at home went to the hospital wer they said it was my membranes rupturing..my waters breaking with twin 1. although he still had fluid left but not as much as twin 2 they admitted me but as my hospitals neo natal cots wer full they transferred me to the royal victoria maternity in Belfast (84miles away) where i was to stay untill they wer delivering my twins at 34weeks. very very good hospital with excellent care for preterm babies.

I was rushed up in an ambulance with sirens going in fear that i would go into labour and deliver but i didnt. when i got to the hospital they done all their examinations. twin 1 waters continued to leak and i had a scan the next day to check the level. it still showed that it was within the normal range of fluid but as i was still leaking and lower than twin 2 they wer still keeping me in. they checked me every 4 hours for signs of infection and gave me a 10 day course of anti biotics o fight infection. if there was any signs of infection they wer to be delivered right away.

then on sat 18th feb 27+3 weeks about 4.30pm i started to hav a few pains. nothing sore really but by around 6.00pm they got really intence. i called the midwife and she told me to lie down and gave me paracetamol. gerald had been up visiting me that day and i was allowed out for a few hours so we went and had a walk around a few shops nearby. she though i was just in pain from walking about. she told me she wouls be back in half an hour to check me but the pains got so bad i called her back sooner and she brought the doctor who examined me and said 'sinead you are fully dilated twin 1 is coming' all of a sudden i felt i had to push.

this was between 6.30pm and 7.00pm they rushed me around to theatre and twin 1 was born naturally at 7.18pm our beautiful baby boy weighing 2lbs6oz and 37cms long. we named him Corey Michael. he was brought upsatirs to the nicu and was doing ok.

as twin 2 was coming breech and they didnt want to pull her they decided to give me an emergency ceseran. and at 7.51pm our beautiful baby girl was born. she was 2lbs7oz and 33cms long. we names her Alanna Rose. she also was brought upstairs to the nicu and also was doing ok.

after i spend a few hours in recovery and was getting my head around such a fast labour and delivery it was time to go up and see the babies. because Coreys waters had reduced his lungs hadnt delelpoed properly and he needed a lot of help. he was on a lot of different machines and medicans. Alannah on the other hand was doing fine and evrything a 27weeks preterm should be doing.

then on sunday morning Corey had gotten a lot sicker and we wer advised to get him baptised. which we did. but he picked himself up again and fought on. things wer every touch and go throughout sunday with Corey but alannah was still doing fine. i began to express milk every 3 hours and send it upsatires for alanna to hav and to be froze for corey for wen he was strong enough to feed. then at 4am monday morning the midwife came in and told us alanna had become very sick and it wasnt looking good for her. she also was baptised then and and we wer brough upsatires to her. at 5.25am she passed away,disconected from all the wires and we got to hold her for the first time. as she was the strongest of them both we never imagined she would become an angel. we spent hours just holding her in a parent room just beside the nicu. and lay in bed with her. absolutely heartbroken.

then at 2.55pm corey took a turn for the worst and also passed away. again he was dicconected and we got to hold him and cuddle him.

alanna took a bleed in her brain and her blood became so acidic that there was nothing more they could do for her. corey had a collapsed lung and was already on the highest of every medication and nothing more could be done for him either.

we are absolutely distraught. i cant believe just a week ago i had 2 bouncy happy babies kicking away inside my belly and now i ah nothing. we brough them home from the hospital on tuesday and we buried them yesterday (wednesday) it was the hardest thing i hav ever done in my life. i miss them so much and would do anything to be able to bring them home healthy.

sorry this is so long i wanted to tell you the whole story. xxxxx

 

[RedRose19]

omg sinead im so so sorry, my heart truely aches for you right now, im so sorry about corey and alanna
i dont know what to say, i know nothing i say will make you feel any better, but please know i and im sure the girls are here for you always hun, i wish i could give you a hug right now.. i truely am so so sorry, what sweet names they had, it sounded like corey didnt want to be without his sister. if you ever need to talk or anything we are here for you..

 

[RedRose19]

Rest in peace sweet angels

 

[RedRose19]

gosh i cant stop crying, i really am so sorry sinead

 

[naderz]

thank you katie. im hurting so bad. i just dont understand why. i dont know why god gave me twins and then took them away. i go through stages of being ok and getting on with things and then i just burst into tears. sometimes im even too exhausted to cry and i feel so bad. xx

thank god we hav noah otherwise id see no reason to function any more. xx

i just dont understand why me.x

 

[blessedmomma]

oh my hunny. Dh and i will be praying for you and your family. that was totally unexpected. im so sorry you are going through this. these things are never understood by us here, but i know Jesus is holding your babies right now and they will be waiting in heaven for you when you get there some day. a friend of mine who had a mc said once that every christian mothers greatest hopes is that their children will one day go to heaven and one of her children is already there. i thought that was very inspirational and gave me some relief from my mc's.

i know nothing i say can bring you any relief right now, but if you need to talk im here and you can pm me anytime

 

[cla]

omg sinead my heart is breaking for you. i know how you are feeling but you was further gone then me. just take each day as they come and you know we are here for you, if you want to let it out talk to us but please dont keep it bottled up because it will make you feel worse.
sending your two beautiful angels kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[naderz]

thank you ladies. i just want my babies so bad. twins was so special we cant just go and make another twin pregnancy. and although another baby would never replace my twin angels i cant help but want another baby already. xx

 

[blessedmomma]

im so sorry hun. my heart is just broken for you. i know it wont replace your twins, but i hope you have another baby soon. i know i would feel the same way. i just cant believe it happened like this.

 

[cla]

All I can say is do what you want and when you feel ready do it.
Hopefully when you do decide to ttc you get pregnant straight away.
How are you feeling.

 

[RedRose19]

sinead, i know having another baby will never replace your twins but you certainly wouldnt be wrong for wanting another baby right away its very common to feel this way, everything is still fresh and hurtful, when you feel ready go ahead and try for your rainbow baby, as you deserve it so much sinead, just take some time for you to heal

 

[naderz]

i told oh i wanted another baby but he didnt say anything back to me so im not sure how he feels.

i would do anything to hav my twinnies back. i miss them so much. they wer just perfect and beautiful. oh wanted a girl so much and i gave him one of each with the twins which was just perfect and now i feel like ive let him down. xxx

 

[blessedmomma]

you have not let him down hun! im sure he doesnt feel that way either. you two have to lean on each other through this so dont keep those feelings about it, they may come between you two. he just may be grieving in a way that is complicated and he didnt know what to say at the moment or express how he feels. we are gonna continue to pray for your family

i have been referred to a high risk pregnancy perinatologist for the low fluid and reduced fetal movements. i have to start seeing him next week. kinda worried about what he may find, but also relieved that if there is something bad going on he will find it.

 

[cla]

Oh Hun I felt the same when we lost ours all I could think about was how I failed Keith and the first thing I said to him was I was sorry.
Just don't push him away, I did with Keith I was evil and there was many times he nearly left because he couldn't take it anymore.
Have they asked if you wanted to see a councillor xxxxx

 

[cla]

Melissa I hope everything goes ok xxxxx