LO's bathing with Dad

[cleckner04]

My DH wears swim trunks when he bathes with Emma. He just feels weird about it he says. She's curious and he doesn't want her reaching out and grabbing anything. I've asked him and he said he'd feel different if it was a boy but since she's a girl he feels awkward. I see nothing wrong with it though. I bathe with Emma pretty much every time she gets a bath and I plan on doing the same with any future boys that I may have.

 

[isil]

The only time she has ever mentioned anything was when she started sobbing in the bath one day, when i asked her why she pointed at Chris bits and said Daddy has pooed in my bath .

so funny!

 

[Shri]

Olivia still sometimes has a bath with her dad and she will be 3 this year.

The only time she has ever mentioned anything was when she started sobbing in the bath one day, when i asked her why she pointed at Chris bits and said Daddy has pooed in my bath .

x

I can't stop laughing! that's so funny!!!

But really, I think it's GOOD for kids to bath with their parents because they then learn (later on) that being naked does not necessarily mean sexual. Which is healthy thing to understand. If you don't give them the opportunity to experience NON sexual nudity, they will find it all the more awkward later on when they are old enough to start thinking about such things.

 

[lauzliddle]

Both me and oh bath with our children alfie had just recentley become aware of oh bits but we just say it's daddys winky and ask him where his is and he points so he is learning from it too. I don't think he really takes much notice of my bits. I think it's great when hr and oh are in the bath as Alfie will wash oh hair from start to finish it's so cute. Like others have said I don't think my body ' bits' sexual until I get into bed with the oh and make it that way. And my breasts are where my lo feeds from so they are defenitly not sexual if that makes sense. I think your friend has alot to learn.

 

[Feltzy]

Your friend is wierd and disgusting to even think like that. Evie is 3 and sometimes gets in the bath with OH and occasionally jumps in the shower with him too. He doesn't get much of a choice though she just walks in, strips off and tells him to let her in lol.

Would your friend think it was wierd if a mother had a bath with her son? Its the same thing, I don't see the problem.

 

[Eala]

Your friend is wierd and disgusting to even think like that..

Woah, a bit strong there? It could be she has some deep-rooted issue that maybe even she isn't aware of. It's an extremely sad and disturbing fact, but most cases of childhood sexual abuse happen with a person known to the child - more often than not, a family member. Maybe she has something in her past that she hasn't even acknowledged, which makes her feel this way.

I don't think it's weird for other people to bath with their children if they want to, as long as everyone is happy with it. But my hubby always wears trunks if he bathes with LO (who is only 9 months atm), and he'll continue doing the same as she gets older. I'm fully aware that this comes from my emotional turmoil around the fact that I was abused by a family member.

Just wanted to point out that there's no reason to be so harsh on this woman for her opinion - she might have a very good reason for feeling that way

 

[Racheldigger]

Neither of us has ever bathed with our LO, but that's because I like my bath water far hotter than is safe for a baby, while Daddy works on building sites, so actual dirt comes off when he has a bath, which we don't think is pleasant or safe for LO! I don't think there's anything creepy about it at all - after all, you're exhorted to do skin-to-skin contact when LO is new, how can it suddenly become unhealthy when LO is a few months, or even a few years old?

 

[Sarahkka]

But really, I think it's GOOD for kids to bath with their parents because they then learn (later on) that being naked does not necessarily mean sexual. Which is healthy thing to understand. If you don't give them the opportunity to experience NON sexual nudity, they will find it all the more awkward later on when they are old enough to start thinking about such things.

Totally agree.


I also think that was quite an awkward thing for your friend to say and I think I would have been sort of offended, too. It's revolting to have someone suggest that something so innocent and perfectly healthy could have any sinister or sexual undertones. And this is your family she is talking about. What was she thinking, saying something like that?
Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt - she's either clueless, or perhaps does have some unfortunate issues that caused her to react that way.

 

[Feltzy]

Your friend is wierd and disgusting to even think like that..

Woah, a bit strong there? It could be she has some deep-rooted issue that maybe even she isn't aware of. It's an extremely sad and disturbing fact, but most cases of childhood sexual abuse happen with a person known to the child - more often than not, a family member. Maybe she has something in her past that she hasn't even acknowledged, which makes her feel this way.

I don't think it's weird for other people to bath with their children if they want to, as long as everyone is happy with it. But my hubby always wears trunks if he bathes with LO (who is only 9 months atm), and he'll continue doing the same as she gets older. I'm fully aware that this comes from my emotional turmoil around the fact that I was abused by a family member.

Just wanted to point out that there's no reason to be so harsh on this woman for her opinion - she might have a very good reason for feeling that way

Excuse me but she was the one being harsh! She said to her friend that she thought it was 'wierd and disgusting' that her daughter bathed with her OH! If someone said that to me I would be highly offended at what they were insinuating.

I'm sorry for what happened to you but that doesn't give people the right to be so rude to other people. Fair enough if she said she would feel uncomfortable with it herself or something a little less harsh, but to actually say she thinks its disgusting, well I'm sorry but I think her attitude is disgusting

 

[Abz1982]

God, what a silly wifey! There is nothing wrong with it!! My OH takes Emma in the shower, however he has to sometimes keep boxers on some times as she um..............wonders why he has a willy and mum doesnt.

 

[isil]

Your friend is wierd and disgusting to even think like that..

Woah, a bit strong there? It could be she has some deep-rooted issue that maybe even she isn't aware of. It's an extremely sad and disturbing fact, but most cases of childhood sexual abuse happen with a person known to the child - more often than not, a family member. Maybe she has something in her past that she hasn't even acknowledged, which makes her feel this way.

I don't think it's weird for other people to bath with their children if they want to, as long as everyone is happy with it. But my hubby always wears trunks if he bathes with LO (who is only 9 months atm), and he'll continue doing the same as she gets older. I'm fully aware that this comes from my emotional turmoil around the fact that I was abused by a family member.

Just wanted to point out that there's no reason to be so harsh on this woman for her opinion - she might have a very good reason for feeling that way

Excuse me but she was the one being harsh! She said to her friend that she thought it was 'wierd and disgusting' that her daughter bathed with her OH! If someone said that to me I would be highly offended at what they were insinuating.

I'm sorry for what happened to you but that doesn't give people the right to be so rude to other people. Fair enough if she said she would feel uncomfortable with it herself or something a little less harsh, but to actually say she thinks its disgusting, well I'm sorry but I think her attitude is disgusting

I completely agree. Just because something horrendous has happened to you doesn't mean you loose the ability to be tactful and to think logically. You have to learn to separate what you (you as in someone who was abused) experienced (an abnormal experience) and what should be/is usually experienced.

 

[cherylanne]

Nothing wrong with bathing with LO hun. Grace used to bath with her daddy until she was about 3 and she started to notice 'things' and ask questions. He still bathed with her wearing his trunks. Grace is 5 now and comes in the bathroom to 'chat' while i'm in the bath. Occasionally she'll even get in with me (and bring all the bath toys with her lol) xx

 

[AC81]

I bath with DD sometimes but my husband is really against her bathing with him which I think is a bit sad because bath times can be so much fun, and I think he's missing out. The only time he has bathed with her he insisted on wearing his boxers. Thing is, I don't think he'll have a problem bathing with this next baby if its a boy...

 

[Mrs_B]

Have just asked OH for a man's view and he said "no" and looked puzzled. When pressed he said he would be comfortable bathing with our daughter until she was starting to ask 'difficult questions' lol. She is old enough to get in herself now so not an issue, however he's still happy to go in a family changing room in a swimming baths with her.

 

[Laura2919]

I dont see there is anything wrong with it but I havent ever bathed with the girls and nor has OH.. I just like to be able to have a boiling hot bath and OH is about 200 ft tall so makes it extremely difficult to manouver haha!
I can see all sides though. I dont have them in the bath with me and never will do

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I had the same thing with my "friend" saying it was weird for me to bathe with LO. (she's only 10 weeks though so younger than Mia).

It's just so much easier to have her in with me because she enjoys it. If she's in her own baby bath she gets upset. Bath time is just so much more relaxed and enjoyable for her if she's in with me or OH.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong hun or you're OH.. I would just ignore her!

 

[Lisa1302]

Lets all be honest here...it can be disgusting....

...........if they go and poop in the bath water

Its not happened here yet, but it happened to my friend.

I actually feel sorry for someone who thinks it is wrong to bathe with your own child, I don't understand it because I never thought it was weird before so I cant see that its just a parent thing to think its ok

Izzy stands by the bath and pokes her head through the curtain when Dan is in the shower, so she has seen his danglies and he is always walking round naked after a shower looking for pants etc - but I am sure she will cope just fine and not grow up scared of willies!

 

[Lu28]

I don't see anything at all wrong with having a bath with LO. I certainly wouldn't call this lady disgusting for saying what she did though, I agree that she obviously has some deep rooted issues which is sad although it doesn't make what she said any more acceptable. It's not as simple to say that you should still be capable of tact etc when you have dealt with abuse in your past - there will always be triggers. My DH is currently on a weekend retreat in an attempt to deal with is abuse - if it was all so simple, there wouldn't be any need for this.

On another note, I don't remember ever seeing my dad naked, it's not something which has registered in my memory. However I do remember clearly the first time my dad came out of the bathroom naked and quickly covered himself up so I wouldn't see - I remember thinking it was so weird that he'd cover it up, I didn't understand why

 

[isil]

I don't see anything at all wrong with having a bath with LO. I certainly wouldn't call this lady disgusting for saying what she did though, I agree that she obviously has some deep rooted issues which is sad although it doesn't make what she said any more acceptable. It's not as simple to say that you should still be capable of tact etc when you have dealt with abuse in your past - there will always be triggers. My DH is currently on a weekend retreat in an attempt to deal with is abuse - if it was all so simple, there wouldn't be any need for this.

On another note, I don't remember ever seeing my dad naked, it's not something which has registered in my memory. However I do remember clearly the first time my dad came out of the bathroom naked and quickly covered himself up so I wouldn't see - I remember thinking it was so weird that he'd cover it up, I didn't understand why

but it is that simple! in my head anyway. I hate that people use it or are expected to use their experiences as an excuse for not being able to think straight. I'm sorry this has really got my back up. Why shouldn't she be able to see the difference between innocent 'just being naked' and something which is negative and abusive? they're massively different things. I know people are affected differently and have different triggers but it's completely illogical to think that way...like if people think that way about their husbands and them sharing a bath with their little girls then imo, they probably shouldn't be with their husbands.

 

[Lu28]

I don't see anything at all wrong with having a bath with LO. I certainly wouldn't call this lady disgusting for saying what she did though, I agree that she obviously has some deep rooted issues which is sad although it doesn't make what she said any more acceptable. It's not as simple to say that you should still be capable of tact etc when you have dealt with abuse in your past - there will always be triggers. My DH is currently on a weekend retreat in an attempt to deal with is abuse - if it was all so simple, there wouldn't be any need for this.

On another note, I don't remember ever seeing my dad naked, it's not something which has registered in my memory. However I do remember clearly the first time my dad came out of the bathroom naked and quickly covered himself up so I wouldn't see - I remember thinking it was so weird that he'd cover it up, I didn't understand why

but it is that simple! in my head anyway. I hate that people use it or are expected to use their experiences as an excuse for not being able to think straight. I'm sorry this has really got my back up. Why shouldn't she be able to see the difference between innocent 'just being naked' and something which is negative and abusive? they're massively different things. I know people are affected differently and have different triggers but it's completely illogical to think that way...like if people think that way about their husbands and them sharing a bath with their little girls then imo, they probably shouldn't be with their husbands.

I agree, it is completely illogical to think that way, it's a shame that she does, I completely disagree with her thinking that and she may well need to get herself some help - but it's someone calling her disgusting that I disagree with. She's not disgusting for thinking that, she may need some help.