Lucky thread

[Tawn]

Oh man, so much to catch up on, I am sure I am going to be missing someone or something, but here goes.

Bailey, I honestly can't wait till Monday, hun! Try and keep your famous PMA going and hopefully we get to see your BFP in just 2 days!

Cath, I am sooo SO sorry hun. To go through all that, then waiting, then this and then to not be able to have OH there as well! The only thing I can think to say is at least you are safe love. But other than that, my heart goes out to you.

MrsDuck, I know it is scary, but I am so glad to hear that your op is scheduled for just over a week from now! I have had NHS operations scheduled 3 months out, so I am relieved you are getting taken care of quickly. Plus it means you can start back ttc sooner!

Fletch, how is your AF pain now?

Mummy_2_One, any O yet? I am still waiting on mine, opks are negative and I think stress this week is pushing it back!

Shellie, I'm sorry you are so down right now and I know what you mean about closure. This poem was posted on another forum that I am on, and I read it and said "That is EXACTLY how I feel" and showed it to DH so he could understand what a m/c is for us ladies. It is nice to see it verbalized so well, so I thought I'd post it here for all you lovely ladies.

Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks-
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time
To be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks-
I came to know you...
And to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks.
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks-
It wasn't enough time to convince others
How special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks-
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny, unfinished baby,
Or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer-
And give me a small glimpse of eternity.

by Susan Erlin

 

[Poppy84]

I cried reading that. amazing!

 

[baileybubs]

Thank Tawn, and the poem is lovely!!! Lol, hehe my famous PMA keeps running away from me, I dont feel anything at all today!! Starting to doubt it's my month, but that's ok coz even if it's not next month will be!!! PMA all the way!!

Dani - hope its just a late BFP, keep the faith hun, we will both get there!!

Cath and mrs duck (almost put an 'f' there instead of a 'd' sorry!!) hope you are both doing alright xxxxx

 

[MrsDuck]

Do you have a date booked for your op Mrs Duck?

It is likely to be a week on Monday but I'm still waiting on confirmation...scary.

I can't wait to get back ttc

Hope you get it soon. You are coping so well.

Can you ttc straight away? X

Depends on if they only have to take out that half of my thyroid or if it has spread. If it has spread to the other side too then they will need to take it all out so they will need to get my replacement meds correct first but if it has spread further then I will need radioactive iodine treatment and I won't be able to ttc for at least 6 months after that til all the radiation is back out of my system

 

[MrsDuck]

Na mine are always early bfps. I think AF Is just lost.

Will try get frer if ics still showing lines Tomo x

Good luck I've got everything crossed for you x

 

[MrsDuck]

Tawn what a lovely poem, thanks for sharing x

 

[MrsDuck]

Thank Tawn, and the poem is lovely!!! Lol, hehe my famous PMA keeps running away from me, I dont feel anything at all today!! Starting to doubt it's my month, but that's ok coz even if it's not next month will be!!! PMA all the way!!

Dani - hope its just a late BFP, keep the faith hun, we will both get there!!

Cath and mrs duck (almost put an 'f' there instead of a 'd' sorry!!) hope you are both doing alright xxxxx

haha

 

[Bumpblues82]

ugh!! im not normally one to complain bout symptoms but ugh! lol

cath hope ur ok hun xx

 

[fletch_W]

hey Tawn, my pains have completely gone. its seriously only for the first two days and then im back to normal. weird.

i bought my ttc diary today and am keeping a diary for when my first child is older and trying for babies theirselves so they can read and see what i went through. is that weird? lol

 

[fletch_W]

p.s, i waited til i was on my own to read that poem as im at my mums house and i just balled my eyes out she has the experience down to a t! im gonna print it when i get home so i can keep it in my memories chest. thank you for sharing xxx

 

[ShellieLabTek]

I've written my letter. I've posted it below if you want to read it. I'm debating on showing it to OH or not.


To My Angel Baby,

The first thing I want to tell you is how much I love you. Those three words aren’t enough to describe the feelings I have for you even though you were only here for a short time. I’ve loved you for a lifetime, even before you existed. Ever since I was a little girl, there were only two things I ever really wanted in life. You are one, and the other I found when I met your daddy. I was a little scared at first, but your dad swept me off my feet with a dance. I feel so safe in his arms, and feel so much love when he holds me. He was so happy when I told him about you. I think about what it would have been like had he got the chance to hold you to. I can picture it in my head; daddy is sitting on the couch with you in his arms, your little head full of hair is leaning on his right shoulder, tummy on his chest, and as you yawn and fall asleep, daddy’s gently running his hand on your back. You would have been just as safe in those arms as me. I wish you could have felt that. I think about things like that all the time, especially since you’ve gone. All the things I wished for you, all the things I wanted to see you do in your life. The way my life and your daddy’s life would have changed, and the person we would have raised you to be. But now I sit here, alone with my thoughts and in tears. My head is full of thoughts, but my womb and arms are empty. Empty. It’s been 3 months and 3 weeks since you’ve gone, and all I can think about is everything we’ll never get to do. We’ll never get to hear your heartbeat. The doctor told me you had one, but it was so very weak. I guess they thought it was best if I didn’t hear it. I’ll never get to see you wave at us through the ultrasound, with your daddy waving back at you, and your grandparents will never get to see that picture. We’ll never get to feel your little arms and legs kicking inside me, or know whether you were a boy or a girl. Your daddy won’t be holding my hand as I give birth to you, and I’ll never, ever get to hold you. That is the absolute hardest part of all. I can never, ever, no matter how badly I want to, hold you. And that breaks my heart. Perhaps you were sick, and that’s probably why you had to go. Not because of anything we did, but just because it’s one of those things that happens in nature. It still doesn’t make the pain of losing you any less. And had I lost you when I did, or later on down the road, I think the pain would be the same, because the loss of a child is the loss of a child. Some days are better than others; this week has been a bad week. But you are gone, and I have to remember no matter how sad I feel you’re not coming back. When I started this letter I thought I was going to end it by saying goodbye, but I realize a mother can never say goodbye to her child. I think I’m starting to realize why I’m letting this hurt me so much. So I have a question for you and I hope you don’t mind me asking. Do you think it would be alright if daddy and I tried to have another baby? Don’t worry, I could not, and will not, ever, until the day I die, forget about you. You will always and forever be a part of my life. I think since I’ve lost you, when I think about getting pregnant again, I’ve looked at it as a way to try and replace you, to fill the emptiness inside me. I realize now that will never be the case. There will always be a little spot in my heart that aches for you. But I have a lot of love inside of me that I need to share. I know I will love them as much as I love you, and I know a part of you will be in them. Wherever you are, maybe you could keep an eye on them. That’s part of the job of being an older sibling. I think you would have wanted to have a brother or a sister - or both! I’ve now reached the end of my letter – and I’m not crying anymore.

Love Always,

Mommy

 

[Tawn]

Wow, Shellie. Thank you for sharing. That was a beautiful letter, it made me cry.

I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. I can tell from everything you've written you will be an amazing mom!

 

[Poppy84]

That was beautiful!
I can't stop crying. I think uv written what we are all feeling. U r so brave to write that letter shellie. Lots of love xxx

 

[Dani Rose]

Oh my, tears are rolling onto my lap....

We all understand and feel every word in that letter deep inside xxxx

 

[ShellieLabTek]

Sorry about making everyone cry! But I had to share it with someone. Haven't shown OH, I did tell him I took his advice and wrote one. Still donno if I will show him especially since I mention him holding the baby as the main image in my head.

 

[baileybubs]

Oh Shellie, I hate to tell you that you made another of us cry but I couldn't help it. That's a beautiful letter and I wish I could express how I feel as beautifully as you have. Very brave to share that with us thank you. And personally I think showing your oh that letter can only bring you closer together. Even though it may make him sad to think of that image, I think you can share in that sadness and then also share in that realisation of how you aren't replacing your baby, just making a younger sibling.

Mrs duck - you are so strong. I would be a mess everything you are going through. I hope you are taking if easy. Big hugs.

Cath - thinking of you again today, I hope you are doing ok.

Bump - sorry you are having a bad time with the symptoms hun, just focus on the end result xx

AFM - had a poop day (that's my best description). Done a long shift at work, had what definatley felt like AF cramps, no AF yet though but my body is weird, I only ever start AF first thing in a morning so expecting her tomorrow. Right now I'm just feeling tired and a bit blue. Trying to still have PMA, but being cheery seems like so much effort right now lol!!

 

[Carly.C]

Anyroom for a newbie in this section? With all due respect to you all, and I'm sure each and everyone of you agrees with me. I DONT WANA BE IN THIS FORUM, I really wanted to stay in the pregnant one! We all need as much baby dust and hugs and prayers as we can get xxxxx

 

[baileybubs]

Hi Carly,

Always room for newbies!! Welcome!! And yeah I don't think any of us wanted to be in this forum, but this thread is amazing, ladies are lovely and are so understanding and accepting. There are ladies at all different stages of ttc and pregnancy, and everyone is willing to listen and cheer you on despite their own tough times, which is amazing. Where are you in your cycle now hun?

Oh and ladies, I only realised half way through today that it was exactly 3 months ago today that I had my scan where i found out my baby was gone think that's why I am a little blue today.

 

[Bumpblues82]

bailey- yer i just never had tiredness like this before im wiped outso bad this time

 

[baileybubs]

I was like that last time......felt so unbelievably tired all the time. My advice is just sleep whenever you can hun!