Made a decision re: Xmas spending, and feel so much better for it!

[Amanda]

In the past, we've always spent:

Parents, both sets - £50 per couple
Grandparents, both sets - £30 each
Siblings and partners - £30 per couple
Nieces and nephews - £20 each
Adult friends - Decent bottle of wine and box of biscuits per couple - £15
Kid friends - £15 each

This makes about £490 and that is without our own kids and each other!

This year we are in the same boat as a lot of people, and finding the credit crunch is taking it's toll. So I've sat down and texted everyone the same message this morning:

Cash-flow not good, so have to limit what we spend at Xmas. I've stuck to £5 for kids and nothing for adults, not even a bottle of wine. Hope this'll make it easier for all of us if you do the same. xxx

I changed it to £10 for the families kids.

As soon as I sent them, I felt a huge weight lifting. And I've had replies from every single person, all saying that they agree with what I've sent, and that they feel better now I've suggested it!

Why do we get ourselves worked up about money at Xmas and not being able to afford expensive presents? I was in Asda this morning buying milk, and have bought my friends kids an Annual each (2 for £7), and I'll get them a selection box as well. So pleased!!

I've also limited what we will be spending on parents and grandparents, and told Stu that we're not buying each other presents at all.

So Xmas (not counting Charlie and Kayleigh) will be about £100 for the other presents!!

 

[Vickie]

We're doing the same, only buying for the kids Plus my parents because they've done a lot for us and we enjoy giving them things they want/need (they don't have much money).

 

[Gwizz]

We are doing the same.

Have you tried a shop called Home Bargains? we have one here not sure how country wide they are (UK Shop) but I managed to get one child a set of cuddly toys that you can change the arms and legs too (sound grusome but its cute trust me!), a wooden jigsaw and a tube of cadburys buttons for £4.57! and the same for the little girl except instead of the cuddly toy I got a set of MegaBlocks.

Everyone is in the same boat and its also a feeling of satisfaction getting 'decent' presents for less

xxx

 

[PitBullMommy]

I wish we could do that! DH's family all gets together on Christmas Eve (oh joy, at my house this year...his family does NOT like me and the feeling is mutual) so we have to get gifts. Luckily for the adults we draw names and only have to buy 2 presents (one from me to someone and one from DH to someone), but there are 5 kids to buy for. The MINIMUM to spend on the adult gift is $50/each and for the kids it's $20! We are totally NOT going to be able to afford that this year...that's $200, not including my parents, sister and BIL and their son,...not to mention ourselves and Charlotte. I think I am just going to make all the kids blankets from the fabric that I already have. Unfortunately his family is kinda, okay, VERY hoity-toity (VERY upper-middle class, but consider themselves upper-upper class) so that's probably not gonna fly. Can I skip Xmas Eve and go straight to Christmas???

 

[Zarababy1]

I have 18 cousins last year they all got a gift, there all still at school im the oldest and the only one with my own child, i know my aunts and uncles will buy charlie pressies i'll feel bad for not getting there kids anything but we just cant afford it the only people who are getting presants from us are parents siblings charlie and eachother! were spending 25 pound on eachother for supprises alowing 50 quid for each other to spend on whatever we want! iv already spend over 100 pound on charlie i really dont plan on buying him much more i feel like iv gone a little bit over bord considering he wont know whats going on

 

[Always&4ever]

Were only buying for kids aswell

 

[oOKayOo]

We are also not buying things for the adults.
Best way!
And i have loads of cousins but this year everyone cant afford to do cousin ect just immidiate family so i dont have to buy for everyone anymore

 

[leeanne]

Luckily we don't have too many to buy for outside our immediate family. We have 6 kids plus one other (a cousin) to buy for, our moms, and Dan's brother...and I guess our employees.

But, we did agree one year to not buy gifts for each other for Christmas, but only for our birthdays. Well, it didn't last because then even birthdays weren't made special so there was really no one real day in the year where we made each other feel special. So, we changed it back.

 

[joeyjo]

I have a really big extended family (20+ first cousins) My Parents had a really good system when I was growing up: they bought presents only for the kids and only up to the age of 18. So I haven't had any the last 10 years and now mum only has a handful to buy. We still all get together at somebodys house each year for Christmas (different home each year) and again in the summer, we prefer to spend a bit on seeing each other rather than gifts.
This relates on my side to only buying pressies for my parents and my brother. As and when my brother has kids I will just buy for the kids. I will probably buy small presents for some of my cousins kids (1 family I am especially close to) too but I hope to have a few years before that starts.
I have chatted with my friends and we have opted for a night out whilst I am back in the UK insted of pressies this year; none of my friends have kids yet.

DH on the other hand has a much smaller family, only 5 cousins 3 of which he is not in touch with. We end up buying for about 8 adult couples and 2 kids, despite the fact that sometimes we don't even see them as they are not in the area for Christmas. I've tried to suggest we limit to buying just his parents, his brother, SIL and nephew in Australia, his sister + her partner, his auntie and his cousins 2 sons but he doesn't want to rock the boat. But this would save us 4 adult couples gifts, or at least £100.
He also buys selection boxes (or similar) for about 10 kids belonging to his friends, I have less problems with that because for me Christmas is all about kids but I just wish we could think of something cheap that would be appreciated and wasn't chocolate because they get enough at Christmas.

AARggghhh sorry this turned into a bit of an essay but I just don't see why we need to buy so many!

 

[Wobbles]

£10 on kids for me always has been.

Depending on the adults a little something but again nothing more than £10!

I buy a couple of people outside of family but that this year is also limited - its the thought that counts and a little card always goes a long way with me personally not the prezzie

 

[Sarahkka]

We've had a standing agreement for years in my family that it's modest presents for kids only (about $20 CAD each), or it's something you make yourself.
We try to spend the holiday funds on the shared feast and the cost of visiting.
Making the holidays about things you do together, rather than a whole lot of material stuff, sends a nicer message to the kidlets, I think. And it means a lot more to have good memories of skating or tobogganing with your family than just another toy.
It's hard to resist the pressure to spend, though.
I think you just have to be upfront and set limits and politely explain why. As Amanda found, most people will be totally relieved to have the gift exchange scrapped!