March rainbows 2018

[Myshelsong]

I am so sorry flou, I know there are no words this is not what anyone was hoping for you.
Big hugs.

Maryanne - I am so glad that you mentioned ptsd regarding losses. I know it isn't something a lot of us talk about, especially those of us that suffered later losses, but it is!
I hope your scan goes well this week, I am sorry it is on an anniversary of something traumatic. I can't imagine how I would feel if we had a scan on the day we found out we lost our son. I would be a mess.

So I have decided that I am a mess. I am so unmotivated to do anything, I just want to lie in bed and wait to see if this pregnancy is going to work out. I am terrified of getting or being excited about this, or even feeling any connection. I know this is still early, but honestly I don't know if I will ever get out of this.

 

[darlingqueen]

I'm so so sorry flou. i hope you recover quickly hugs!

 

[darlingqueen]

Cary, yay for scan that's exciting, I'm sure the measurements will catch up soon!

Myshel, I know the feeling I've been wishing myself to sleep until the next appointment because early pregnancy is so scary and unsure. I'm impatient for my ultrasound but also nervous that something will be wrong. Only 6 more days now...

 

[xkirstyx]

Thanks Kirsty we are praying for more. Doctor seemed happy. I don't go back for 2 1/2 weeks.

Thats good you're getting another scan. I wasn't getting a follow up scan but ended up getting another two weeks later because I had a bright red bleed x

 

[maryanne1987]

Myshelsong I think it's important to talk about it to normalise it. Losses are hard, and one recent study shows that up to 65% of women who have had recurring losses suffer with mental health issues from anxiety and depression to PTSD. For me talking about it openly has helped massively with the healing process.

I'm a mess too. I think most of us here are feeling the same but we all deal with it in different ways. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It's really hard after a late loss to feel any excitement at all, even later on in the pregnancy. I struggled badly when I was pregnant with our daughter after losing our first daughter. I sought help though, and was referred to a lovely midwife who specialised in dealing with grief and anxiety. She saw me weekly and every week we set a small target to focus on like the booking in scan, then the gender scan etc. It helped breaking up the pregnancy into smaller chunks and focusing on just making it to that next milestone rather than focusing on the pregnancy as a whole. Could you see if there's anything like that in your local area?

 

[karoolia]

oh gosh, I think mental health is a huge thing that gets overlooked in terms of miscarriage. My aunt warned me that it is possible to experience postpartum depression after a miscarriage because you have that same exit of hormones. I think I had a mild case of that. Then just the trauma of it all.

I think pregnancy after a loss is kind of unique. For a lot of things that people struggle with or have experienced past traumas in, most people either avoid that thing in the future or find ways to make themselves more comfortable with the situation. For example, crash while skiing and have a major injury? Take skiing lessons and get better so that you feel more confident in the future. With pregnancy though, if you want to have children you have no choice but to do it and there really isn't anyway to feel more confident. The best you can do is treat underlying issues, but that can only do so much to boost your confidence.

 

[Carybear]

Thanks Kirsty we are praying for more. Doctor seemed happy. I don't go back for 2 1/2 weeks.

Thats good you're getting another scan. I wasn't getting a follow up scan but ended up getting another two weeks later because I had a bright red bleed x

I was looking at the pictures they gave me and on one of them there is two white dots in the sac.

 

[Sweetkat]

Cary the scan sounds really positive. Grow baby, grow

Maryanne and Karoolia, I am not sure I had depression or PTSD but the losses have been very hard to deal with emotionally and I don't know how I could ever cope with a late loss (that's my biggest fear). Is it common to discover something is wrong at 20 weeks?

I had the midwife booking appointment and bloods taken today, blood results expected in a week. 9 days to go until my 12 week scan....

 

[maryanne1987]

No it's not common at all sweetkat. My late loss was through contracting rubella as my parents didn't immunise me as a child and the hospital didn't check I was immune. Honestly the risks are so small of something happening that late so don't let it play on your mind too much,

I do see two dots carybear but I think the sonographer would have noticed and mentioned it if there were two. My indectical angel twins were visible at 5w6d and the sonographer mentioned it straight away. Sometimes the yoke sac can look like another baby too. The scan looks great though.

 

[xkirstyx]

The two dots would be baby and yolk sac x

 

[karoolia]

You are all much better at reading an ultrasound than I am! I looked at that and did eventually see the dots, but probably wouldn't have thought anything of them on my own!

 

[Sweetkat]

Maryanne, I wasn't immune to rubella either (I was just going through my notes with he midwife today and I had to have MMR after DD was born). I was told I couldn't try to get pregnant for 3 months after, so maybe once you are pregnant it's too late to have it?? I am really sorry that happened to you.

I am having toxoplasmosis paranoia as we have only had the kittens 2 months although I had cats when little and also as an adult. Today (overnight because they sleep in the living room) they pooed on the floor, weed on DD's pushchair, pood in the plant pot and threw all the soil in the floor. OH mostly does litter tray but today I was cleaning up (in gloves) all sorts . I was so annoyed I was considering giving the monsters away.

There is also all the stuff about listeria and random physical defects and heart defects . So scary.

 

[maryanne1987]

Thanks sweetkat. We did get an official apology from the hospital over what happened as rubella immunity is meant to be checked early in the pregnancy but somehow it was missed with me. It was heartbreaking but time is a healer. Now I just do my best to keep the memory of my daughter alive.

We had kittens while I was pregnant with Aurora and had similar issues. I just made sure I used gloves and got DH to do as much as he could. I did consider rehoming them though at the time. Never had such bad toilet issues with any of our cats before.

 

[Sweetkat]

They are litter trained so 90% of the time they do everything in the litter, but sometimes (well actually most days) they wee in DD's toy pushchair. Today they also weed in her real one. And as for the plant pot, it's disgusting but they poo in it and then the soil is all over the floor!

 

[Myshelsong]

Late pregnancy loss isn't common but it does happen.
My loss happened after a perfect 20w scan with no issues showing. His heart just stopped around 21 weeks and we found out at a routine ultrasound with our new OB. It was mind numbing. Now the idea on an ultrasound terrifies me.

We also have a cat, but I avoid everything cat litter.

 

[Sweetkat]

My hospital has stopped doing rubella screening but they screen for hepatitis C now (you can opt in).

 

[karoolia]

The thought of a late miscarriage scares me as well, but if I make it through first tri I am determined to enjoy this pregnancy and try to stop worrying so much. I highly doubt I'll make a public announcement until after 20 weeks though.

 

[darlingqueen]

I keep getting paranoid too. My breasts will hurt all day and then they will stop for a bit, and I immediately go into worrying that something is wrong. Then they come back and i lighten up some. 1st trimester is so scary. Ultrasound can't get here soon enough.

 

[velvetdreams]

Hello Ladies/moms,

I just have a concern.. is it okay not to feel contractions-like symptoms? coz last week i feel some slight contractions or hardening or lower abdomen but this week I kinda don't feel em' ... getting a bit paranoid and can't wait on my next appointment which is transvaginal U/S and some lab works.

My boobies kinda hurt but a bit subsided and lessened morning sickness but sometimes at night I'm having nausea..

I don't want to think about MC/MMC since I had one last Feb but it scares me and I'm really trying my best to carry my rainbow bean

 

[xkirstyx]

I don't know if it's normal hun. I had contractions for a week before I lost my baby so I think if you can then go get checked out.
It could also just be everything stretching that you are feeling xxx