*** May Babies ***

[abz]

argh. people keep posting when i do and i'm missing things!!

so sorry cactusgirl. my OH isn't showing much interest either. but i expect as i get bigger it will seem a bit more real. he's causing a great fuss at the possibility of having to have a blood test as i'm AB- as he's scared of needles. i pointed out that i have to go through childbirth and all he has to do is have a blood test. his response? 'but you aren't scared of childbirth are you?' well i'm hardly bloody looking forward to it am i? i just reckon if i avoid thinking about it long enough then i won't care by the time i'm in it!! ha.

i sympathise with his fear of needles. i really do. but at the same time i think sometimes you just have to get a grip...

abz xx

 

[Pixie81]

Jolou, does your hospital allow children in the room at the scans? Our hospital won't allow it. My son was off sick when I had my 12 week scan so he had to come with us. I was quite excited thinking surely they would let him in with us.. He is almost 10, so I really wanted to get him invlolved, and thought they would let him in as he's old enough to sit quietly. But the silly cow on reception wouldn't let us take him in as apparently it would'nt be fair on other children if she let mine in. I was so upset. He had to wait outside on his own in the waiting room. I'm almost crying now thinking about it. He's already started saying that he's going to be left out when the baby arrives. We've been trying our hardest to make him feel a part of it. He must've felt so left out sitting out there on his own.

To make matters worse, a lady came in after me on her own with a toddler. I am sure she would've taken her daughter in as there are no creche facilities and no one else to look after her. I was gutted. I should have stood my ground and took him in anyway.

My scan is at 11:15 on 16th too. I am going to go for a private scan afterwards to double check they got the sex of the baby right, and so that my son can come too.

 

[Cactusgirl]

Abz - afraid I have no idea if they allow children in scans - sure someone will be along in a minute who will know!

Cactus girl, have you tried talking to your hubby? Mine was like that when we were getting married. I know it's not the same, but I know how upsetting it can be when they seem so disinterested and leave you to do all the work.

Why don't you sit down with him and tell him how you feel. Maybe he's nervous or is worried about something? Men deal with things differently to how we do. Has he said why he doesn't want to be at the birth?

You should download the baby names app on his iPhone! Hope he bucks up his ideas soon hun! (((hugs)))

We are interviewing a possible doula tomorrow so might have a chat with after that. From her testimonials she also works with the OHs to calm any of their concerns so she might be able to do this as a third party. I am just worried if he manages to get out of all of this part and the birth he might not bond with the LO as well as he would have done.

I am loving the downloading the baby names app idea!! That is genius!!

 

[Cactusgirl]

Jolou, does your hospital allow children in the room at the scans? Our hospital won't allow it. My son was off sick when I had my 12 week scan so he had to come with us. I was quite excited thinking surely they would let him in with us.. He is almost 10, so I really wanted to get him invlolved, and thought they would let him in as he's old enough to sit quietly. But the silly cow on reception wouldn't let us take him in as apparently it would'nt be fair on other children if she let mine in. I was so upset. He had to wait outside on his own in the waiting room. I'm almost crying now thinking about it. He's already started saying that he's going to be left out when the baby arrives. We've been trying our hardest to make him feel a part of it. He must've felt so left out sitting out there on his own.
QUOTE]

Oh Pixie81 that is so upsetting that your son is already saying he is going to be left out - stupid woman on reception making him wait outside. I am sure you will be doing your best to make him know he will be included as much as possible. It must be so difficult.

 

[Pixie81]

I want an iPhone

 

[OmiOmen]

My hospital does allow children into the scans, one partner and children and I think you can even invite family members in once they know everything it ok. I don't have any children yet (other than the one I am growing obviously) but a lot of women did while I was waiting for a scan and it had a sign up. So I guess it depends on your hospital.

I feel like my husband is not interested too, he looks up some baby things on the internet but it is as though he does not want to talk about the baby much. I hoped he would get excited when I felt my first real full kick but he didn't and said it was because he could not feel them yet!

I am exhausted too, when I am not at work I am asleep most of the time!

 

[Pixie81]

It is very difficult. He's behaviour is fluctuating between being really cheeky, argumentative, rebillious and constantly answering back, to being really clingy and quiet, always wanting my DH's attention (but never mine). It is quite upsetting.

The receptionist at the hospital is horrible. The first time I went there she had a go at me because I forgot my antenatal notes. I had a million things to think of that morning, sorting out lunches and getting kids to school + the excitement of my first scan, I completely forgot. It was an easy mistake to make. But she made me feel like a complete idiot and was really patronising. I hate her!!!

 

[Moongirl]

We are interviewing a possible doula tomorrow so might have a chat with after that. From her testimonials she also works with the OHs to calm any of their concerns so she might be able to do this as a third party.

Ooh let us know how you get on with the interviewing. I think the whole doula idea is fascinating - i can really see how having someone there who knows what they're talking about (instead of a panicky hubby!! ) would be so reassuring.

 

[Pixie81]

I know of a lady who works as a doula and her husband does antenatal classes for men!!
They work across Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, Northamptonshire and Leicestershire.

Check out her website:
https://www.cambridgeshiredoulas.co.uk/Services.htm

 

[jolou]

mmmm it doesnt say anything on my letter about not letting children in nor in the leaflet they send you about the hospital etc, i might give them a ring next week, the only other option is my OHs mum taking her to school but we dont know her shifts until a few days before....

as for the OH's attitudes it might be because they cant feel anything etc, i know mark pulls a face when i say i can feel little kicks inside and i say not on the outside yet..its like christ give it a couple of months and he will be freaked out that he can see my stomach move lol

 

[Cactusgirl]

I know of a lady who works as a doula and her husband does antenatal classes for men!!
They work across Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, Northamptonshire and Leicestershire.

Check out her website:
https://www.cambridgeshiredoulas.co.uk/Services.htm

now that sounds like a niche in the market a bloke doing antenatal classes for men - love it!!

Shame they are not up in Manchester!

 

[shawnie]

cactusgirl, I'm not bringing up birth stuff till later with my DP. He's the type that worries about me being in pain and I don't want to bring that up early on. As much as we try to include them in on the experience it's not the same for them. I think the fear of the unknown is what's scaring my DP a little. All my family do things together with the kids and help each other out while camping and such. I think men just act different over this whole pregnancy stuff. My brother in laws brother told me once, "The woman falls in love right away before the baby is born, the man falls in love after he sees the baby born" Try not to take things too much to heart.

 

[jolou]

just phoned my hospital and the bloke said sophie is fine in the scan room with us yay, he said if she didnt want to go in as it takes a while there is 2 helpers around that will do colouring with her etc but she is fine to go in the room if we want her to! my mind is at ease lol little miss big ears here heard me asking and is now wanting to know what i was talking about...lol

argh this coughing is doing my head in now! ive had to resort to putting on a panty liner as i keep weeing a little when i cough too much! geeez im turning into my mother

 

[Cactusgirl]

just phoned my hospital and the bloke said sophie is fine in the scan room with us yay, he said if she didnt want to go in as it takes a while there is 2 helpers around that will do colouring with her etc but she is fine to go in the room if we want her to! my mind is at ease lol little miss big ears here heard me asking and is now wanting to know what i was talking about...lol

argh this coughing is doing my head in now! ive had to resort to putting on a panty liner as i keep weeing a little when i cough too much! geeez im turning into my mother

See that is a supportive hospital - and having helpers there as well to entertain if she does not go in! More hospitals should be like this!!

Hope the coughing gets better soon!

 

[insomnimama]

To those worrying about a hard bump after orgasm- don't. It's perfectly normal In fact it happens also when you're NOT pg, it's just that the uterus is much smaller and less prominent so you don't feel it from the outside.

 

[OmiOmen]

jolou: I am glad they are fine with her going in the room. I don't see why some places are not!

I had already said I had felt kicks but only when laying down on an evening but I just felt them while I was stood up! I just popped in the shower before work and felt loads of strong movements and kicks.

 

[Frufru]

Hi ladies!

Well I am glad I brought my warm clothes away with me as it was -6C here last night brrrrrr. The upside is today it was snowing I am such a big kid when it comes to snow, unfortunately it is turning to sleet outside now BOO!

Abz I am glad your arm is starting to feel better. Don't take any notice of the comments from the others, after all if I remember rightly you work with an all male staff so what do they know anyway

Joulou - sorry your cough is still persisting. I hope it gets better soon.

I am quite lucky as my OH is very excited about our LO (now officially referred to as "wee-J"). He has always loved babies/kids ever since I have known him. His sister had twin girls when he was 15 so he got used to being around babies from a really young age. My sister has had two girls since we have been together and OH and them adore each other. We told his nieces about the baby today and they were really pleased but also had a dig about how it was unfair we had made them wait 14 years for a cousin

I had assumed that as he was so great and knowledgeable about babies and children in general that he would also be really well informed about pregnancy and birth. Ohnonononoono! I am doing a lot of reading about pregnancy and birth at the moment as I am really keen on having a homebirth and it is becoming very apparent that he knows very little indeed and is very worried and scared about the birth. He wants to be supportive and involved as much as possible but acknowledges he is quite squeemish and is not sure how he will deal with birth and is worried about not being able to give me the support I need. In terms of queemish I once took him with me when I gave blood - he did not watch the needle going in or anything but just the sight of me laying on a bed with a needle in my arm was enough for him to feel faint and nauseous to the point where he had to leave I have talked about hiring a doula perviously and after the talks we have had over the last couple of days I have decided that a doula will be a really good idea for me. That way OH can be as involved as much or as little as he wants and I know I have got someone around that knows what is going on and won't leave me if OH gets freaked out!

I have been reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth over the last few days - I have really enjoyed reading it and it has really re-affirmed my thoughts about homebirth. For anyone worried about their bodies ability to birth their LO I would give this book a read as it is very re-assuring and has left me feeling much more confident about birth in general - although I still have 6 more months to freak myself out again When I take this book back to the library I am going to see if they have a copy of Ina May's Spiritual Midwifery I can book out

 

[Mork]

Hey all!
Can I ask a question about kicks as this is my first and I am a bit clueless!!!! lol!!
Can the kicks be on one side and then suddenly go to the other side at this stage (17 weeks)??? I think I am feeling something, but not entirely sure.
Thanks in advance!
Mork xx

 

[~curiosity~]

Hey ladies I thought I'd just say hi and ask how you all are, sorry I'm not with you all anymore hope everything is going well for everyone xxx

 

[DWandMJ]

to you Cactus!

When we went to up our phone contract, dh hubby opted to stick with his inexpensive phone (which is a good thing given his track record of ruining them) and I upgraded to an iPhone. I'll have it set as my alarm clock in the morning and he'll get up first and steal it away when he goes to use the lu to play games. Not cool

We went for our second OB appointment today and got to hear the baby's heart beat for the first time A healthy 150 bpm!
Even more exciting, our next appointment is on the December 17th (we were given an option of before or after the holidays and took the prior) so we'll find out the gender then So excited!
I'm so happy with the choice of doctor I made. DH was pushing for his doctor that birthed him, but I nixed that idea. The man may know his stufff, but I'm not comfortable enough with him (to boot he has absolutely no bedside manner) to hop up in a pair of stirrups in front of him. Plus he has rather large hands....