May Lily's 2017

Hi all, had sort of a rough 8 week appointment. Here is from my journal:

My appointment on Monday didn't go exactly as I hoped. Baby is fine, had a bedside ultrasound and by little blob looked good, with a 140 heart beat. They decided my due date will be May 10th - my mom's birthday!

So after meeting with the nurse practitioner, she said the doctor wanted to come in and talk to me about something himself. So, back in January, I had an abnormal pap smear, so in late February I had a colposcopy, where they take tiny little biopsies of your cervix where it looks abnormal. Apparently 2 out of 3 spots came back fine, but one spot came back with cancer. Adinocarcinoma in situ. This is a rare cancer, not the kind typically detected in pap smears (squamous). It luckily is stage 0, so some consider it pre-cancer, and it's a very slow moving cancer. However, the doctor's office somehow forgot to notify me... until now. And now I am pregnant. Normally the treatment would be to do a LEEP, which is when in the office they take an electrical loop type instrument that goes in and takes out the bad parts of the cervix. They do not recommend those on pregnant woman, not safe for the baby.

So, the doctor referred me to a gynecological oncologist. He didn't know if she would recommend just monitoring the cancer with lots of colposcopies during the pregnancy, or if she'd want to treat it. She came back and said she'd like to do a cone biopsy at 14 weeks. This is done with basically a scalpel instead of anything electric, so ok for the baby. However, it is a big part of my cervix being cut into, so there are concerns with bleeding and cervix incompetence after, so my cervix will get sown shut during the surgery. It's a real surgery with general anesthesia and everything so they can't do it until 14 weeks pregnancy, as they don't like to do general anesthesia in the first trimester. That would be around Nov 9th. So... this is all a lot to take in. Of course I had told my husband not to come to the appointment that day since we had just gone the week before for the ultrasound, and this appointment is generally really long and I knew he was busy at work. So, once the doctor left me alone for a bit I was crying all by myself, and eventually went home and called my hubby. He came home from work and brought us lunch and we hugged and talked. He is most worried about doing whatever is best for my long term health. And is hoping for another test/look since the previous test is over 6 months old. I think I am worried about that but also really wanting to carry this baby to term.

The other hard thing is that with this type of cervical cancer, they recommend a hysterectomy once the woman decides she is done bearing children. So I think we only want 2 kids, but we will really need to figure that out, and I don't know exactly when they recommend doing that surgery, but that is another major surgery for me down the line.

So although baby is doing well, and that makes me happy, this has been a tough week. The specialist will call me once her pathologist looks at my old biopsy and schedule an appointment with me (might not be for 2 weeks), then the surgery. We have a lot of questions as well. So, now we are in limbo, waiting to get the call, with no more answers really.

Obviously I am also very upset that they forgot to tell me that I have cancer for 7 months! The doctor was very apologetic and has been calling me with updates since and staying on top of the specialist for me. I'm sure it was someone in his office just dropped the ball. But that has led to me being in this predicament of being pregnant with a form of cancer. Not how I imagined things going, ever.

This also has made us really think about how to announce. I may decide to tell my Mom sooner... but I also really, really don't want to worry her and I know she will be so upset and stressed out. Especially now where I don't really have any answers to give her, and we might not know more for 6 weeks! Right now we are leaning towards still doing our announcement plans right before Halloween with our immediate family, but holding off on telling "the rest of the world" and Facebook and stuff. Where the surgery isn't until 14 weeks, we won't know if the cancer has progressed or how I will react to the surgery until then. But then I will probably definitely be showing so... ugh.

We are still getting the typical genetic testing and ultrasound done at 12 weeks, scheduled for October 27th. The next day we hope to still try to have a happy announcement to family. Trying to stay positive. They caught this early, it's slow moving, and treatable. Just have to hope it's all ok for me and my new little one.

Thanks for any prayers you can send my way.
 
twinklie, i am so upset for you at them just not noticing they hadn't told you of this condition! you're right, somebody slipped up on a massive scale. i'm thinking of you and your baby. it seems like they have a plan in action already for you. when do you see this specialist? do you get to talk to her before things happen? it sounds like she has a lot of experience in the field.
 
Thank you. He referred me to this specialist in the city since she does a lot of cone biopsies. The specialist will call me once her pathologist has looked at my biopsy slides. But our first appointment with her might not be for 2 weeks! So we just.... wait. My husband really wants to get me tested again since it has been 7 months, but the doctor thinks she will just want to wait until the 14 week surgery. That's 6 weeks away.

I just worry we will announce then they find something horrible at the 14 week surgery and we lose the baby and such... ughhhh
 
well, everything looked good at the scan and it's supposed to be a slow form and it's state 0, so that seems like the best case scenario for any changes that could happen from that time to now. I can understand how it could be scary to think about announcing and then not being able to know exactly what the situation is until 14 weeks!
 
Hi there! I'm due in May too! EDD is May 22. This will be our first. We've previously had 2 losses over the last 2 years so here's hoping for a sticky bean.
 
Welcome Ninja Panda, hope this is sticky for you! Do you have an appointment or scan soon?
 
Twinklie, I could cry for you. Being in the first tri is so stressful without a single thing going wrong or being out of the ordinary. So to be dealing with the uncertainty of this news is just unfathomable. I'm enraged on your behalf that they didn't tell you sooner, and if this ends up badly (God forbid), you need to sue them. That is gross negligence. I'm so so sorry for what you're going through. But the good news is it seems like they have a good plan. And it's likely the risk of surgery is very low to you and you're baby if it's done well and at the right time. All signs point to your baby is strong right now and can make it through this with you! I think you should celebrate and move forward with this pregnancy without hesitation. Because you shouldn't be robbed of this experience due to fear. If the worst happens, you are strong and you can deal with it. But for now, don't expect the worst. You've got this. You have a sweet strong perfect baby and your body is doing a great job.

Are you thinking of trying to have kids very close together so you can move in with the hysterectomy quickly? If I were you, I'd probably be trying for number two as soon as I felt like myself again and had healed from the first little one.

You're really in my thoughts, sweetheart. I pray that your body keeps doing very well. All I can say is I work in a hospital. When there is a major risk, they move QUICKLY. Like a matter of hours and days, not weeks. So the fact that they're taking their time (annoying as it is) is a good sign, I think.
 
Aww thanks Miss Doc, your kind words really mean a lot and made me feel better. I do think we are going to continue to move forward with our plans to announce to family and try to just be happy about this pregnancy.

I meet with the oncologist next Wednesday the 5th, and she also referred me to a high risk OB - still waiting for a call back from them. I have a ton of questions, so we'll see how many answers I get.

This is my second child, and I think maybe we're done with two? I'd obviously need to be real sure.... :/
 
So last night freaked me out so much and I need to vent to get it off my chest. I woke up at around 1:30am to a sharp cramping feeling. Thankfully there was no blood or anything but it scared me SO MUCH. I think it was a combination of having to pee, my 50lb pitbull laying directly on top of me (how he got there, I have no clue! lol), and hunger or growing pains but I had such a hard time sleeping afterwards. I swear, can Oct 5th come any faster??? I just want to see that I have a happy healthy bean growing in there! Having my previous mc's just makes me so paranoid about everything. :(
 
Twinklie, yeah, that is scary. It sucks to have to be so certain and make reproductive decisions quickly. It's interesting how when you think you can't have more, you then want more. I waited until my 30s to start trying due to career and financial reasons and just overall stability. I always thought I wanted 1, maybe 2 kids. But when we were ready to start trying I knew I wanted two. And when I found out I had low ovarian reserve and may not be able to get pregnant with my own biological children, I started wanting 2-3. It's like, wait, no, now I want all the babies! I was just kidding before! Lol. Thankfully we've been lucky enough to get pregnant naturally and I hope it happens again for us, because I do want at least 2. It's so tough when you feel artificially limited by your body or medical issues though. I'm sorry for the waiting you'll have to do. *hugs*

Ninja, it doesn't sound threatening as you're not having persistent pain or bleeding, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that this week flies by quickly and your bean is just fine. You're now past the point of the other MCs, which I hope feels a little relieving at least. Each week will bring more comfort. :)
 
Welcome to the new ladies and congratulations! I updated the list and glad you guys joined us:flower:

Twinklie- I am so sorry to hear that they didn't diagnose it sooner, but at least its at stage 0, hopefully they can find a treatment that will work for you while pregnant. I will keep you in my thoughts hun:hug:

I hope everyone else is doing well. I am 10 weeks now and my morning sickness is starting to settle:dance: it seems pretty crazy that some of us are going to be nearing the end of first tri already! But I am also very excited, I can't wait to start feeling baby kicks and watch my belly grow:cloud9: we had another ultrasound today and baby is measuring right on track with a lovely hb of 150<3 the tech even did a sneak peak in 4d for us! So it was pretty cool and I can't wait to go back in a few weeks:happydance: sorry that I'm popping in and out but we have been moving to our new house for the past few days and I've been working so it's been exhausting, I mainly came on here to check the thread and update the list:flower: I hope everyone has a nice week<3
 
Aw Ninjapanda that was scary I am sure but does sound like just a fluke! I hope this week goes by fact, and before you know it you'll have an awesome scan on Wednesday showing your healthy bean! I swear, hunger pains and a full bladder can really sway how we feel in first tri, that could be a huge factor. Get snacking! :)
 
It is worrisome NinjaPanda. I was always checking my underwear for blood every trip to the bathroom.

So nervous that 3 days before my first scan. I thought all my symptoms went away. Nothing takes the fear away. It is so hard being pregnant after loss. Be good to yourself.

Tomorrow you'll see a gorgeous baby! <3 Can't wait to hear how it goes.
 
yeah, all day today I kept getting bad cramps. I kept going back and checking for blood and thankfully nothing. This morning I was tossing the old litter box and dropped it in the basement so I had to clean that. My MIL said she'd clean it for the remainder of the time my husband is gone though.
 
That's great be careful with litter boxes.

I cramped non stop with baby #1, and she will be 6 in April. Your uterus is already about double in size.
 
Well, just got back from my u/s appt and looks like I have a new EDD... May 18th! Baby measured at 7w6d with a heart rate of 157bpm
 
Welcome and congrats, Ninja! I'm still nervous all the time! PAL...makes it hard. The longer you go, the easier it gets, though! Sounds like your scan went amazingly!! Great HR <3

Twinklie - how did your meeting with the oncologist go? I hope you got some questions answered.

Hi Abii! :wave: glad the ms is settling! Mine is still going strong. Lovely to hear baby is measuring well and everything is going good for you! Good luck with moving! It's nice to read the update :)
 

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