Mental health issues and motherhood (warning sensitive subjects)

[TryinFor1]

Topsy glad to hear you are feeling good today!

 

[topsy]

Aw hun sound like you are going through a tough time hun, So sorry your OH shouted a you and LO and that he dosnt sound very supportive hun. Do you have any other support around you sweetie?

Well done on keeping the razor away-Its like a pull isnt it once you see something, or for me if something bad happens that can be a trigger to do it-well that's how I am.

I hope you can manage a little to eat today sweetie.

xxx

 

[AnneD]

Hugs to everyone. Dealing with issues, and struggling with them, do not make anyone a bad parent, rather the opposite. The very fact that you are trying your best and going against the urge proves that you are not a bad parent.

I am another SH, SUA and MD person, currently suffering from PND. I haven't cut myself for years, but I have wanted to practically every day of my life. I never wear short sleeves, and I'm not sure how I'm going to explain my scars to my daughter. I'm worried she'll inherit my depression or learn my behaviour. I'm working on educating myself about how to prevent this.

If my husband and I don't sort out our relationship properly (we're currently separated) and he decides he wants to keep the baby, he will use my mental health issues against me in court to get full custody. He has threatened to do so, and I have no doubt he will.


*TRIGGER WARNING*

Spoiler

If he does that and I lose my baby, I am going to do myself in. I couldn't take it. My baby is my reason to live and my motivation to not cut.

 

[sequeena]

Oh Anne you need to speak to your doctor and get yourself into counselling. You haven't cut for years so they're not going to think you'll suddenly start again but you do need to work through your issues. If he does try to use your mental health against you seeking help will look good on you. Even if he doesn't you still need to do it

 

[sequeena]

Tryin I don't know much about your relationship but from your posts he's verbally, emotionally and mentally abusing you. He does not sound like a good man or a good father.

Topsy I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Psychosis is a serious mental illness but you will get through this look at what you're doing to get better

I feel ok right now but I know I won't sleep well tonight as I have to see my doctor about my anxiety tomorrow.

Have to reply to your PMs now (I've been poorly).

 

[topsy]

Think i spoke to soon -awful voices this afternoon. LO is at my parents tonight hubby and I were going to go out as the steak I was defrosting is still v frozen! But i am just not up to it, so its a take away and dvd to try and distract me from my voices.

Anne hun I am sorry for all that you are going through, I think Sequeena is right can you see your GP, are you getting support from anyone sweetie?

Thanks Sequeena, Psychosis is incredibly unsettling

I struggle with sleep to, I hope your Dr is supportive and I hope you get on ok there tomorrow.

Take care Girlies xxx

 

[sequeena]

hope the voices go away soon hun I can't imagine how distressing it is. Enjoy your evening you deserve a night off xx

 

[TryinFor1]

Think i spoke to soon -awful voices this afternoon. LO is at my parents tonight hubby and I were going to go out as the steak I was defrosting is still v frozen! But i am just not up to it, so its a take away and dvd to try and distract me from my voices.

Anne hun I am sorry for all that you are going through, I think Sequeena is right can you see your GP, are you getting support from anyone sweetie?

Thanks Sequeena, Psychosis is incredibly unsettling

I struggle with sleep to, I hope your Dr is supportive and I hope you get on ok there tomorrow.

Take care Girlies xxx

Do you mind me asking what you hear? I am just generally curious. Hope it gets better soon.

 

[topsy]

No Hun I dont mind you asking hun-Its hard to describe everything they say but this is a brief description hun, I have 3 voices, a man, a women and a girl. Its not constant like it has been before they were telling me to hurt myself and LO-the man is usually the prominent one and who will tell me I am not a good mummy, not doing something right-we were giving Lo calpol and they were telling me to give him more meds than the normal amount, they tell me I will drop him when walking down the stars, the car will crash when Dh is driving or that someone is following me and LO and I hear a camera clicking. At the mo they are talking about between themselves commenting on whatever I do-its exhausting. xxx

 

[sequeena]

 

[AnneD]

Sequeena and Topsy - I'm in therapy for PND, but I'm being a tad careful with what I say because the therapist warned me that they have to break confidentiality if they think there's any danger of me harming myself or the baby. I think my urge is largely present because cutting used to relax me, clear my head of other crap, sort of, so I could sleep. (I'm a crap sleeper, just like my baby! ) I know it's not an option any more, though.

I am hoping my therapist concludes I am the most normal, balanced person ever if it comes to custody issues.

Topsy, it must be really tough for you, hope you're ok?

Big hugs to everyone, have a nice evening!

 

[sequeena]

Ahh yes, my counsellor said the same I understand your reluctance to say anything. Whilst I doubt they'd do anything than offer you extra support there's the possibility it may go further (we actually had a social worker for a few weeks when T was a newborn it was awful for me).

 

[RoxieHart]

Hi ladies, sorry haven't had the chance to chat today. Been busy with family. I hope your all doing okay and AnneD, hey! Thanks for sharing! Xxx

 

[topsy]

Anne-I am glad you are seeing someone hun, I remember I was selective about what I told our crisis team at first, its hard isnt it? I hope with what you are teeling them is maybe helping a little hun.

sequeena-we too had SS involved once I was out of hospital till april ish time I think, but I was lucky they were all lovely.

Roxie-I hope you had a lovely day with your family hun. xxx

I hardly slept last night even with zopoclionie, maybe got 3 hours just was laying there listening to my voices so feel really rubbish this morning.

Am about to listen to my mindfullness Cd to see if that helps. Lo is with my parents till 10 so want to feel a bit better before he comes home

xxx

 

[RoxieHart]

Hey lovelies, how are you all feeling today? Xx

 

[TryinFor1]

Exhausted. I haven't slept in two days, really. And oh saw that I had been looking up divorce laws. So that was super fun to explain. How are you dear?

 

[RoxieHart]

Exhausted. I haven't slept in two days, really. And oh saw that I had been looking up divorce laws. So that was super fun to explain. How are you dear?

Oh dear! Are you considering? What did you tell him? I'm alright today! Just finished a whole load of chores. But however clean everything gets, it'll all be messy again in an hour

 

[sequeena]

Are things now getting better tryin?

I was ok, then we went out and T cut his finger on a drinks can someone had dropped on the floor so now I'm paranoid about germs (even though I've bathed it, put germolene on it and a plaster)

 

[TryinFor1]

Yes I am considering it and I see us not being together anymore within the year. I told him it was from a few months ago after I had the baby and was really hormonal. it was actually from three days ago.

 

[RoxieHart]

Ladies I'm having a really bad evening right now, anxiety is now sky high and can't calm down. All I can thinking about is cutting now... I hate this ..