Mid-August Testers

[Srbjbex]

Oooo that sounds good Hands! let me know if you need a test reader! I'm happy to help out

 

[InHisHands]

Well, I decided to put Dex back in diapers. He could stay dry but he wouldn't tell me or start going on his own and having to tell him every hour was just too stressful.

 

[NewbieLisette]

Hey gilrs I know it has been FOREVER & im soo sorry! I must catch up now and fill you guys all in as well...we are expecting our little boy in August so our group keeps growing

 

[Srbjbex]

Lisette!!!!!!!!!! You're still around! Hooray and congratulations on the bump! Fantastic news.

 

[InHisHands]

Yay!!!! Lisette is back! and Congrats! What exciting news. You must fill us in on Melina and other things happening in your life.

<--- updating signature now!

 

[InHisHands]

My cousin's wife just had his baby. It's a ........ not quite sure. The baby was born with a scrotum, but no penis and has been transferred to a hospital in Denver, Colorado for more testing to be done to determine the gender. Please keep baby and parents in your thoughts and prayers. --- my guess is that the baby is a boy, but that's because they are all boys in my family. I was the only girl in my generation, and there hasn't been a single one since..... My generation: 1 girl (me), and 9 boys. The next generation: 8 boys and this baby pending.

 

[Srbjbex]

Hands - sorry to hear about your cousins baby. It must be a stressful time for all involved. I hope all goes well and that your family get some answers soon. I've personally not known it happen before. Buy my mum (who is s health visitor) has seen it quite a few times. She said they normally makes a decision at birth but need to bear in mind that when the child reaches puberty there may be other things to happen and often you need to let the child 'choose' and be ready to support them through gender confusion.

I hope you all had a nice weekend. Snow- any further news on the house?

OH has his repeat SA tomorrow and we hope yo get the results by the end of the week.

 

[InHisHands]

Bex --- Yay for the results. You have waited a long time to find out the new results.....

we are still waiting but hoping to hear something today after the what seems to be ...long weekend.

 

[snowflakes120]

Congrats Lisette! One of each too!

Oh wow Hands. I've never heard of that. Sending prayers your family's way.

I'm pretty sure If I remember correctly Bex. Your hubby has an appt this week. Good luck. Keep us updated.

We bought a lot. And will be building a new house. We are super excited(and scared!) and hope to be in it around the holidays. We contacted a realtor that has sold a few houses in the neighborhood and we meet with her the end of this week to discuss putting our house on the market.

Bff is visiting and it's been awesome.

Hubby will be out of town the end of this week and all of next week. In super scared and nervous to be alone with the 2 of them.

Kellan has his early intervention appt on Wednesday.

 

[InHisHands]

Well.... It's a boy. Scans revealed that the baby doesn't have a vagina, uterus, or ovaries.. so here in about a year they will do reconstructive surgery and give baby Noah a penis.

I didn't have a heart to ask if the penis would be fully functionable. Bex do you know?

Snow... I used to be like that with Dex when hubby wasn't home. I found keeping busy like taking him to the park, store, or inviting a friend or play date over helped. It gave Dex a different environment and it gave me the false security of not being alone with him. In time the feeling went away.

 

[Srbjbex]

I don't know hands. My guess would be not but science continues to amaze me with what they can do so perhaps!

 

[InHisHands]

I was reading up on it last night. So far they haven't been able to make one functionable. So sad that such a challenge has already entered his life.

 

[InHisHands]

Today I was called in at Dexter's preschool. Apparently he has been telling his teachers no, and running away from them. We are having this issue at home as well... but they seem to think that it's abnormal for a 2 year old to do this.

Also, he got mad at a girl today and pulled her hair out.

When I tried to discipline him at home, things just kept escalating. He wouldn't do anything I told him to do. He's being so defiant and I'm just beside myself.

 

[Srbjbex]

Aw Hands - hug to you, it is really hard!

Personally I think its really difficult to discipline Dex at home for something he did at pre-school because for him, he wont be able to connect to two events in his head. Ideally any discipline needs to be done straight after the event to help them understand.

What discipline options do you use? With Elliot if he does something really bad like hitting someone (which thankfully is not too often) I pull him away straight away and explain to him that he is not to do that and why (e.g in a firm voice "we do not hit people because it is ouchy, and he must say sorry to the child, and give a kiss / cuddle

If he refuses to say sorry then he has to sit on his own away from everyone for a minute - keep going in after a minute or so to see if he is ready to say sorry. The rule is he is not allowed to play again until he says sorry.

But I do make a point of always trying to say why he is not allowed to do something.

Sorry, you probably do a lot of this anyway but thought i'd let you know what I do. I try and keep my voice firm but calm, not shouting. I think I got a lot of this from watching Supernanny!

 

[InHisHands]

Dexter is strong willed and wants to be as independent as an adult.

I told him in the car as soon as we left preschool that when we get home I need him to go to his room while momma figures out what to do. He then proceeded to take his seatbelt off (carseat) and I had to keep stopping the car. I had to pull the straps down tight and put tape over the seatbelt button and he went hysterical. This has been an on going problem... thus why I had the tape handy.

We have explained to him why he has to wear it. We have spanked him. We have tried giving him toys, snacks, and drinks to keep him more entertained while driving. But almost every road trip ends up with him getting out and me immediately pulling over on the side of the road... which let me tell you... isn't easy in this 4 to 6 lane traffic!

He gets out of the seat belt for 2 reasons 1: he doesn't like being refined. Hasn't since day one when I tried putting receiving blankets around him 2: He wants something, like a toy he drops or to drive because he doesn't like where we are going. He actually will tell me STOP! Let me drive. Turn around. No. I don't want you to go here! And he will unbuckle. I have tried talking to him till I turn blue about how he isn't the boss, that he can't drive, and that if he would just ask for the toy I would help him at the next stop light. Talking doesn't help.

So we get home and I told him to go to his room. He went and I told him to stay until I figure things out (text my best friend and look it up in one of my parenting books). Well he kept coming out. So I took him back in and explained to him again and got a book out for him and told him I will be only a few minutes and left... and he came running out again

Finally I just shut his door... which caused the banshee to come out of him. He ran over and started kicking and banging the door. I talked to him about not doing that and why and told him again to play with his friends, make a tent with his blankets, or read a book. Momma will only be a minute. As soon as I left he started banging again....

... we had a 50 minute battle for a 5 minute time out in his room. I then decided to forget the book and to just take away soda, popsicles, and tv for the day since he misbehaved in school and talked to him about my expectations and what is right and what is wrong behavior.

The rest of the day was a battle of him back talking and trying to dictate what not only he, but what I was going to do. I'm so tired of telling him that He isn't the boss and that he doesn't get to tell me what to do. I give that boy many choices... but apparently it is too many because now he thinks he can dictate.

Nothing works on him. Talking. Redirecting. Explaining. Timeouts. Being stern. Getting on his level. Spanking. Rewards. Ignoring. Natural Consequences. Grounding.(Which by the way he does get. He will mention something that was taken away from him for a week and why and asks for it back). We do require him to say sorry as well... and he'll say sorry but then do it again so he doesn't really mean it.

I'm at my wits end with him. Is this normal behavior for a strong willed 2 yr old? I really need to know because I'm really insecure about everything considering our 16 yr old daughter will be diagnosed as a sociopath as soon as she's 18.

 

[InHisHands]

I still would appreciate any advice you ladies can give... but this weekend I decided to put down the law on him and take away some of this freedoms

1. If he wants something he has to use a question format. No more " I wants" or " I need nows" If he wants something he has to ask "Can you ... please" or " Can I .... please?"

He is honestly trying to remember the format. I'm hoping the questions format will help his little head to stay in the submissive role.


2. I review rules with him periodically throughout the day. I ask him "Can you run away from mommy, daddy, teacher?" and have him tell me No. If he says yes... I say no, that's not good. We can't do that. And ask him again until he says No.


3. I'm selling about 20 percent of his toys. He has too many toy choices, refuses to pick up sometimes, and ends up playing with nothing. So far, I've been noticing he is playing more with this toys and asking for less TV since I cleared off the shelves.

He still has banshee moments though. About once or twice a day..... and nothing I do seems to help. I suppose all you can do is tackle a few behaviors at a time? And once those clear up, tackle some others... and that's why its called terrible 2s... because it takes a year or two to finally hit them all.

 

[MrsBea23]

Hi girls,

How are you all? I am off work sick this week so thought while I had some time to myself I would come on and see how you are all doing.

I have only managed to read a few pages here and there so I am not super up to date I'm afraid.

We are good here Ariana will be 3 next month and leo is 15 months (time is just whizzing by!). They are great kids and I love my time with them. Leo is at that age where he doesn't want to share and there are quite a few battles going on but other times they are so cute and play really well together. I love it when Ariana says things like 'come on leo lets go and play in my room' and they trot off, it's just too cute (for five minutes until the fighting begins again lol).

I'm back at work 3 days and loving it. It's such a nice split 3 on 4 off. I really needed to go back though to have some time away from the kids (and the other mummies lol).

Bex - I'm so sorry to hear you are having problems getting pregnant again. I really hope it all works out for you soon. How is everything else? Are you working?

Hands - it sounds like you are really stressed and at the end of your tether! Have you ever tried meditation? Ariana is also a very spirited child and at almost 3 will still run off if she fees like it, refuses to leave the house some days etc what I find works best with her is descriptive praise. I notice if I slip and forget to do it for a couple of days her behaviour goes down hill until I start again. Also the calmer I am the better behaved she is.
Do you have many friends with kids the same age?
As for the car seat could you not go back to the style before this one that is a harness? Mine go up to 25kg. you can get things that go over the buckle to stop them in doing it.

Snow - I have seen your updates on facebook they are looking super cute. Although I never post I am on there all the time ( unlike this site which is dreadful on a phone!) and love seeing all your updates.

Nic - I am having big worries about Leo's height as well and have just got a referral to a pediatrician to look into it. He was born on the 98th and is now the 25th!
How are you getting on with it all any updates? Leo has has a dairy intolerance and I'm wondering if there is something else going on maybe celiac disease or something that is stunting his growth. Hmmm there is always something to worry about.

Anyhoo I have to drag myself out of my sick bed and get out of the house because muy cleaner is due and I hate being here when she is here lol.

It was great to catch up on the litre news that I have and I'll try and get back on more frequently.
Xx

 

[MrsBea23]

Meant to say Nic and Bex love seeing your posts on Facebook as well xx

 

[InHisHands]

Bea! So nice to see you Sounds like you needed a break from being a stay at home mom. I wish I had one... phew! It's a tough job. Do you plan on putting Ariana into preschool next year?

Dexter is still in his carseat. I'll have to look into getting a clasp. He takes off both the shoulder clasp and he unbuckles the three way. It's so frustrating.

We recently moved.. so no new friends or church homes yet. Dexter does attend preschool 2 times a week though. I'm hoping he won't act up anymore.

 

[Srbjbex]

MrsBea !! Hello and so lovely to hear from you _ I am glad that you are able to drop in and say Hi! Sounds like you are getting on really great. I work 3 days a week too (wed,thu, fri) and I love it - it's a perfect balance and I wouldn't have it any other way. Elliot goes to nursery 2 days a week, which is perfect for him. He is doing so well there, even though I worry he is there for long days (7.30am - 6pm). Buy yes - been trying for #2 for nearly 2 years now and to be honest it sucks! I've been through every emotion under the sun, but I'm in a relatively optimistic state of mind at the moment, as I think we are making progress in the right direction. We are basically looking at IVF (which 2 years ago I wouldn't have believed) but I am ok with that and it's the journey we need to take.

Hands - sorry I didn't get back to you sooner - I'm loads better at replying in the back half of the week (when I should be doing work instead haaha!) You sounds absolutely at the end of your tether - but it really isn't your fault. Every age group has there challenges. My friend assures me that age 3 is a completely different to 2, but not all good either - its not like its the terrible twos and that's it - the difficulties are still there they are just different.

The thing that sticks out to me in your posts is that you have maybe tried too much. Choose one discipline method (I think you have now) and stick with it. I strongly believe they need consistency, regardless of the actual approach that is taken.

I still think (and obviously this is just my opinion without knowing D) that at this age the punishment / consequence needs to be immediate in order for them to relate to it. So I think maybe Dexter didn't truly understand why he was being asked to be in his room and therefore he got upset and worked up. He will also feed off your tension so try and keep your voice calm whenever you can (easier said than done I know). Its so hard what to suggest but I think you just need to stop the car (and keep it stopped) until he sits in his seat with the belt on. Personally I wouldn't give him toys etc. as that's just ammunition to throw at you! I think he needs to CHOOSE to sit in the seat, rather than be forced in. In theory, he would eventually get bored of not going anywhere?

I don't know Hands - you're doing a fantastic job, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And it is perfectly normal for a 2 year old to be strong willed and independent. It's an important skill.