Mid June and July Firecrackers Group Due June/July 2017!

Pritty, sorry if we seem badgering you... I wont talk about this more unless you want to talk about it :)

So lets talk about something fun :)

Here is a 20w photo of my bump, taken yesterday :D any one want to take a guess what genders my twins are? 20w scan tomorrow!! Doc thinks they are fraternal :)

16708502_10212313501738819_6382347407996617020_n.jpg
 
Cat your you're so tiny for twins at 20 weeks you look great and this not being your first. I feel like a whale compared to you and I'm almost 18 weeks with my first...
 
haha dont worry :) I will get lot bigger. I swear I might even be bigger today than yesterday! It was like that with both my boys, not big till about 20w-ish then suddenly bump and just the regular size in the end (not wow your big and not wow you are so petit either :)) A friend gets big early on, looks realy realy pregnant at 20w then stays kind of the same size for long time. We are so different how we carry.
But whats your gender guess? :)
 
I dunno how many times I have to say this. I. Will. Not. Risk. Not. Going. On. This. Trip!

The hockey game tickets were $110 each. I've already paid him back and I'm not risking that money being gone for nothing. That's like 3 jumbo packs of diapers. If it wasn't for the trip, I would tell him sooner, but it is what it is and this is the decision I'm making. Maybe some time between now and then, I might just say it, but I'm doing my best not to.

As for "if he says ok, I dont want to be a part of the babys life but I want to keep things between us like they have been for the past 9 years.. do you know what you would do?" I'll continue to hang out with him and just enjoy our time together til I give birth. But once the baby is here and I'm breastfeeding, we'll be a package deal. Everywhere I go, kiddo goes too.

I'm ok to keep talking about this, but it's just gonna be a circle of you guys telling me I should do it sooner and me saying I can't cuz of circumstances.
 
Cat I vote one of each! I love frat twins. My baby brothers (ok not babies they voted last election lol) are frat twins. Vivhickyx love them to pieces hehe and really truly unique but that bond!

Pretty agreed sorry for pestering. We just care. If you ever need to vent you can pm me. :hugs: in the end, i know you'll make the right decision for you whatever that will be. But only you can decide that <3. I said I was going to be firm with my ex ten weeks ago and I'm still dragging it out, and honestly probably would more if I didn't have my obvious bump :rofl; and I hear you on the hockey game. I spent $900 on front row, center ice behind their box tickets to his favorite team when they were in town (only happens once or twice a year) and we got in a huge fight and he refused to go. I couldn't resale them because his team went from winning every game to a losing streak. So I ended up giving them to my stepdad and his friend but they were only willing to pay me $200. Hindsight, wish I had just played nice until game day. So I get it.
 
Hello ladies!!
I haven't been on much as of lately but I was just catching up on some of your posts... so happy to see that for the most part everything is going well with all of your pregnancies and happy to see we have some gender reveals! I'm on team :yellow: so had to close our eyes during the anatomy scan last week when they went to the private areas! hehehe it was so hard not to take a peak though but I can't wait for the surprise!! I feel movement every now and then. I have an anterior placenta so I don't feel all the movements just yet, only the strong ones. Hubby has felt some faint kicks when I'm laying down though.

I was going to resist putting my two cents in on this conversation going on regarding letting your partner know your expecting. I understand a game and a trip and all are exciting but it is something temporary that will be over before you know it. You are holding back some LIFE CHANGING news for someone over money and I feel it is pretty selfish. I don't think I could ever do that to someone. He may actually change his mind and want to be involved in the babies life and he has already missed out on all of the scans and opportunities for him to bond and actually start developing a love for the child. Sorry for throwing my two cents in on it. This will be my only comment on the matter.
 
Awww Adorkkable love that you and hubs are feeling movements! Kudos for staying team yellow and not peeking!

I decided I want to do a reveal and that is my right so I'm making mom close her eyes so I can do one for my parents, one of the twins, and my bff on Saturday before we head off to do my registry. I bought this super cute balloon center piece that doubles as an announcement. But I am using smoke bomb since it's my mom's house and I don't want to make a mess hehe. I'm looking on Amazon for some cheap decor to make the table look fun even though it's just for four people lol
 
Awww Adorkkable love that you and hubs are feeling movements! Kudos for staying team yellow and not peeking!

I decided I want to do a reveal and that is my right so I'm making mom close her eyes so I can do one for my parents, one of the twins, and my bff on Saturday before we head off to do my registry. I bought this super cute balloon center piece that doubles as an announcement. But I am using smoke bomb since it's my mom's house and I don't want to make a mess hehe. I'm looking on Amazon for some cheap decor to make the table look fun even though it's just for four people lol

Yes I definitely understand all of the reasons for wanting to find out. I think for my second I may find out early just so I'll know if I'll need to get new clothes or not haha. Since this is our first I figured this would be the best time to be surprised. My cousin recently had her reveal, she is due in May and it was fun... I love seeing everyone's reactions. I hope you enjoy doing yours!!!!
 
Awww well for what it is worth everyone I know who was team yellow never regretted being surprised at birth :). I'd want it that way but I have high anxiety and have a need to plan everything so not knowing causes me too much stress. I meant more it's my right time I throw a gender reveal hahaha my mom said they are dumb (she has since changed her tune) and almost talked me out of it but then I remembered everyone can stfu I'll hold them all hostage for my amusement :rofl:

It's my first too! That's awesome your cousin is due around the same time. Mine is as well but she lives in Texas/I don't actually get along with her hahaha
 
Awww well for what it is worth everyone I know who was team yellow never regretted being surprised at birth :). I'd want it that way but I have high anxiety and have a need to plan everything so not knowing causes me too much stress. I meant more it's my right time I throw a gender reveal hahaha my mom said they are dumb (she has since changed her tune) and almost talked me out of it but then I remembered everyone can stfu I'll hold them all hostage for my amusement :rofl:

It's my first too! That's awesome your cousin is due around the same time. Mine is as well but she lives in Texas/I don't actually get along with her hahaha

It is ridiculous the amount of people that I know that are pregnant right now... Probably about 15... baby is going to have a lot of friends hahaha
 
I understand that this is a big thing that I'm keeping to myself, but (besides the trip), I do have good reasons to keep it quiet.

He hasn't just said "I don't want kids". Any time that I've mentioned that my period was a tiny bit late or I was feeling bloated or sick to my stomach, he would say things like "You better not be pregnant" or "Am I gonna have to push you down some stairs and/or punch you in the stomach?". He's never hit me or anything, but I dunno how he might lash out when he knows. I mentioned all of this to my Dr at my first prenatal visit and told her I was just gonna leave him a note when I felt I was too big to hide it anymore. But she suggested I do it in a public place, with someone else there for support, which I guess would be a slightly less cowardly way to do it.

So, am I being a little selfish? Maybe, but if I fear being physically assaulted just for telling someone I'm pregnant, then I'm gonna keep it to myself for a bit.

Edit: Btw, Dobby, which hockey team was it? The Sharks? We're Leafs fans and going to see them face the Predators. :)
 
I understand that this is a big thing that I'm keeping to myself, but (besides the trip), I do have good reasons to keep it quiet.

He hasn't just said "I don't want kids". Any time that I've mentioned that my period was a tiny bit late or I was feeling bloated or sick to my stomach, he would say things like "You better not be pregnant" or "Am I gonna have to push you down some stairs and/or punch you in the stomach?". He's never hit me or anything, but I dunno how he might lash out when he knows. I mentioned all of this to my Dr at my first prenatal visit and told her I was just gonna leave him a note when I felt I was too big to hide it anymore. But she suggested I do it in a public place, with someone else there for support, which I guess would be a slightly less cowardly way to do it.

So, am I being a little selfish? Maybe, but if I fear being physically assaulted just for telling someone I'm pregnant, then I'm gonna keep it to myself for a bit.

Fear of being physically assaulted is definitely a completely different story than saying you just don't want the news to jeopardize you going on a trip. I know it probably isn't easy but from what you explain it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. If he won't commit to a relationship with you and threatens to push you down the stairs if you are ever with child then maybe you should just consider just downright picking up and leaving. You and this baby both deserve to be happy with out having to living in fear.
 
I didn't voice my opinion over not saying anything due to the trip but Pretty, that is so troubling, it really really is. Having to hide a pregnancy out of fear is a totally different matter and only you can judge if those comments were veiled threats or figures of speach but I would be hesitant if not fearful as well. It sounds like you feel in your gut that this was more than just a figure of speach and I would listen to and trust that part of yourself.
 
I'm like 80% sure he's not serious. And I still live at home and only stay over at his place a few nights a week, so it's not like I'm in danger all the time. Like, I said though, he's never hit me before and he's pretty affectionate and snuggly most of the time.

I'm thinking of slowly starting to ask him things like "Are you happy with us?" and "Do you ever regret getting involved with me?" and seeing how he answers. He's known about my desire to have kids for years. And he's said a few times "I don't care if you're pregnant, as long as it's not mine." So, he must've known that someday this day would come. It's just a matter of what he chooses to do with this info; step up or bow out.
 
Pretty I have the same problem. Ex makes a lot of veiled threats so while I'm putting it off because I know he'll leave part of me is scared he might snap and I'll be that pregnant girl on the news who got killed by her bf. I'm sure I'm overreacting but it does make telling him difficult. And his teams are the Canadiens but once a year they come play the Sharks in SJ. My family is definitely a Sharks family which is why I could offload the tickets. But I agree maybe a public place and have a support person nearby. Maybe someone he doesn't know that can sit at a nearby table to intervene if he reacts aggressively/a witness. But idk I don't know what I'm doing lol

adorkable that is so awesome! I have zero pregnant friends nearby so I'm scared my baby will be too isolated/ only see kids at daycare :(
 
I'm actually gonna draw up some paperwork absolving him from any and all parental responsibilities. Hopefully if he knows he doesn't have to worry about me coming after him for money, he'll be less pissed. Also, having a mutual friend there means they can sign the paperwork as a witness and make it that much more official.

I have a close friend who is 13 days behind me in her pregnancy, but she lives like an hour away.

And the Canadiens?! Clearly he's an idiot. Dump his ass. :P
 
Adorkable.. I was team yellow both times with my boys and never regretted not knowing :)

Pritty - why not just say You wont habe to do anything if you dont want to and say you have papers ready (not with you) if he wants.to sign off his parental rights and all that. Dump the news and then the papera might be to much but leave the option in the air and that it is easy to do of he wants. That way.he can think about it with no pressure of the paper there but knowa its.an option.
But not in danger often. Once in danger is too much. I think you and baby deserve better than that.
 
Adorkable.. I was team yellow both times with my boys and never regretted not knowing :)

Pritty - why not just say You wont habe to do anything if you dont want to and say you have papers ready (not with you) if he wants.to sign off his parental rights and all that. Dump the news and then the papera might be to much but leave the option in the air and that it is easy to do of he wants. That way.he can think about it with no pressure of the paper there but knowa its.an option.
But not in danger often. Once in danger is too much. I think you and baby deserve better than that.

That's an idea. Or I could bring them with me, but not say that I have them in case he wants to discuss things further. I just feel like it's better to have them with me cuz if he decides he wants out immediately, it saves us from having to meet up again, which would probably be awkward and shitty. There's no reason why we couldn't tear them up later if he was to have a change of heart. I'm not gonna go to an actual lawyer or anything, so it's not like it would be a waste of time or money. It's just for his peace of mind.
 
Lol his dad is Québécois and used to play for the Habs so he loves them the way I love the Sharks. Just cause. They usually start the season well but taper off.

you don't have to meet up again to have him sign off. But I agree if he signs off right away it doesn't leave a lot of space for him to feel welcome to change his mind later. I think taking them but not bringing it up is a good idea. Just say you're open to as much or as little involvement as he wants. You've got this.
 
Pretty, I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that. Even "joking" about physical assault is abusive. It's not fair to make you feel in danger for your own safety, or for the safety of your baby. My little sister had a similar situation and just entirely cut ties with the father. It means she doesn't have any financial assistance from him, but in her eyes, it's worth it to know someone like that won't be in her life or her son's life. But it's a different response for everyone. It's a very difficult situation and I'm sorry you're having to go through it on top of all the emotions of a pregnancy and welcoming a new baby. It sounds like you're being very thoughtful about how best to deal with things.
 

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