MIL/Grandparent support thread

[AmethystDream]

I wouldn't even bother giving her the chance. I'd let her know that the week she took to send 2 texts told you all you needed to know.

 

[moomin_troll]

I wouldn't even bother giving her the chance. I'd let her know that the week she took to send 2 texts told you all you needed to know.

True, I was going to just ignore her or text her just saying leave us alone but then my sister butted in hahaha

Plus I dunno why but mil really hates my mum, I think it was because my mum n oh were close so saying if u wana see the boys u have to do it thru her will really piss mil off hahaha

I no mil will say she can't do the traveling ect but ile point out its only taking 6 days off work each yr n use her weekends to see the boys and I might point out I no she took life insurance out on my oh so I no she's got more then enough money that she's kept from my boys

 

[MizzDeeDee]

I wouldn't even bother giving her the chance. I'd let her know that the week she took to send 2 texts told you all you needed to know.

True, I was going to just ignore her or text her just saying leave us alone but then my sister butted in hahaha

Plus I dunno why but mil really hates my mum, I think it was because my mum n oh were close so saying if u wana see the boys u have to do it thru her will really piss mil off hahaha

I no mil will say she can't do the traveling ect but ile point out its only taking 6 days off work each yr n use her weekends to see the boys and I might point out I no she took life insurance out on my oh so I no she's got more then enough money that she's kept from my boys

I think either she needs to shit or get off the pot(excuse my language). Either she wants to see em or not. She doesn't get to do it half ass, or quite frankly how she wants to.. she isn't in control of this situation, you are.

 

[moomin_troll]

Mil hates being out of control so this will be fun lol I'm not her son who she thought she could emotional blackmail to get her own way.

Ile keep u all posted to if/when she responds

 

[andella95]

I hope I'm not crashing this thread right now.

But...this is minor but I can't stop thinking about it. There's a lot of backstory to this, of course, but here is the current situation that I can't stop thinking about.

We printed up some pictures of Breanna to give to MIL, including some Easter cards. DH took them over to her house as she only has one picture of my baby (who turned 5 months today!!!).

And she didn't have one nice thing to say.

She said, "Ewww...why are her eyes so big?"
"What is that plug doing in her mouth?"
"What's wrong with her hair?"
"The picture is too dark."
"Oh, that's not a very good picture, is it?"

She thinks my baby is ugly! How can a grandmother criticize so much about her own grandchild?

It broke my heart completely. We thought we were doing a good thing and giving her some beautiful pictures, and instead, she complained about all of them. I grew up with all these issues feeling ugly and unattractive, and I don't want that for my daughter. She's also made comments about how her legs are too fat. (Breanna's weight is less than 25th percentile).

Sounds so minor when I write it down, and it is compared to some of the other things she has done/said.

But still not cool.

 

[ValentinesGal]

I hope I'm not crashing this thread right now.

But...this is minor but I can't stop thinking about it. There's a lot of backstory to this, of course, but here is the current situation that I can't stop thinking about.

We printed up some pictures of Breanna to give to MIL, including some Easter cards. DH took them over to her house as she only has one picture of my baby (who turned 5 months today!!!).

And she didn't have one nice thing to say.

She said, "Ewww...why are her eyes so big?"
"What is that plug doing in her mouth?"
"What's wrong with her hair?"
"The picture is too dark."
"Oh, that's not a very good picture, is it?"

She thinks my baby is ugly! How can a grandmother criticize so much about her own grandchild?

It broke my heart completely. We thought we were doing a good thing and giving her some beautiful pictures, and instead, she complained about all of them. I grew up with all these issues feeling ugly and unattractive, and I don't want that for my daughter. She's also made comments about how her legs are too fat. (Breanna's weight is less than 25th percentile).

Sounds so minor when I write it down, and it is compared to some of the other things she has done/said.

But still not cool.

Welcome! That would bug the hell out of me if MIL or anyone else acted liked that! I'd tell her that'd be the last time you try to do something nice like give her pictures of her grandchild And I think your LO is adorable...so screw her

Another iffy day in the MIL dept. here. I had to stop by the IL's to pick up our nephew. Couple of the neighbor friends were over and everyone was sitting outside. She inquired about Clay's 4 mo. check up and shots today. Asked me again what his birth info was compared to now and what time he was born (which I couldn't remember the exact to the minute time as I have the worst memory in the world! ) She then asked me if I cry when he gets his shots and I replied, no, but I feel terribly bad for him and give him lots of cuddles. So she goes on in front of everyone...."Well....I ALWAYS cried when my kids had shots and I STILL remember what time they were born and that was after being in labor for 26hrs and such and how can you not remember what time your baby was born...blah blah blah!" I just grabbed the nephew and left. WTF? Is this a competition or something? Just because I don't remember things due to a bad memory or that I don't act the way SHE did as mother, doesn't mean that I'm a bad mom!! She can f*ck off right now!

Thanks for allowing me to vent!

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Andella- Welcome...and it would tick me off too. Insulting an infant in front of a parent is pretty low. I might not give her any more pictures if that's how she's gonna be...

Valentine'sGirl- I hate people that make passive aggressive digs. Trust me, she looked horrible...not you!

 

[moomin_troll]

It's not minor that's horrible! I'd of said stick it up ur ass then and took the pictures back and I wouldn't be giving her anymore. What a vile woman x

 

[ValentinesGal]

moomin, have you got a reply from MIL yet?

 

[moomin_troll]

moomin, have you got a reply from MIL yet?

I haven't had chance to post the letter yet, I'm going to hopefully post it tomorrow. I really can't wait lol

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Andella... That's properly horrible. What a cow! Who says that about a gift? Plus, all babies are beautiful in their own way.

ValentinesGal. What the hell! Like she's sooooooooo much better than you. I didn't always cry at Josh's shots, doesn't make you a bad mommy. You bleed for your children on the inside anyway.

Moomin, I'm waiting with baited breath for your MILs response. She's a special brand of cow!

Big to all

 

[Lilly12]

It was Aleena's first birthday on Sat and there were a bunch of people.
Aleena isn't used to be around that many people so I held her.
I stood by DH's grandma most of the time and she interacted with Aleena a lot.
They were sharing books etc.

MIL sat far away from everyone on the couch the entire time.. didn't try to interact with Aleena once.
Even her DH came up to Aleena and talked to her.

So later that evening DH was on FB and his mother started chatting to him ..
"Do you think Aleena enjoyed all of that, really"

WTF!

Then she was bitching about "I'll never know that little girl, cause of your wife".
So my DH said "I don't know why"
She said "She could have sat her down to play with me"

Then my DH said "You could have just stood up and interacted with everyone"
She said something and my DH said "Well maybe you should try harder".
To which she replied "Maybe when she's older"

WTF?!?!?!

She's so psycho & jealous it's unbelievable.

 

[ValentinesGal]

It was Aleena's first birthday on Sat and there were a bunch of people.
Aleena isn't used to be around that many people so I held her.
I stood by DH's grandma most of the time and she interacted with Aleena a lot.
They were sharing books etc.

MIL sat far away from everyone on the couch the entire time.. didn't try to interact with Aleena once.
Even her DH came up to Aleena and talked to her.

So later that evening DH was on FB and his mother started chatting to him ..
"Do you think Aleena enjoyed all of that, really"

WTF!

Then she was bitching about "I'll never know that little girl, cause of your wife".
So my DH said "I don't know why"
She said "She could have sat her down to play with me"

Then my DH said "You could have just stood up and interacted with everyone"
She said something and my DH said "Well maybe you should try harder".
To which she replied "Maybe when she's older"

WTF?!?!?!

She's so psycho & jealous it's unbelievable.

Aww, happy 1st birthday to her! Hope she enjoyed it all Your MIL seems very selfish...if it was such a big deal to her then she should have come over and spent time with her...it's not like you were running away from her! Why is it no matter what you do, MIL is not happy when things don't go the way THEY want them to and blames you for all of it.

MIL's upset with me because she swears I told her Clay was in 12 mo. clothes (he's actually in 6-9mo) and bought clothes for him. She's all upset because they're summer clothes and he won't be able to wear them now and why did I tell her he was wearing 12mo...why on earth would I even tell her that to begin with? She just wants someone to blame because things didn't go her way

 

[moomin_troll]

Special brand of cow hahaha love it

 

[MizzDeeDee]

It was Aleena's first birthday on Sat and there were a bunch of people.
Aleena isn't used to be around that many people so I held her.
I stood by DH's grandma most of the time and she interacted with Aleena a lot.
They were sharing books etc.

MIL sat far away from everyone on the couch the entire time.. didn't try to interact with Aleena once.
Even her DH came up to Aleena and talked to her.

So later that evening DH was on FB and his mother started chatting to him ..
"Do you think Aleena enjoyed all of that, really"

WTF!

Then she was bitching about "I'll never know that little girl, cause of your wife".
So my DH said "I don't know why"
She said "She could have sat her down to play with me"

Then my DH said "You could have just stood up and interacted with everyone"
She said something and my DH said "Well maybe you should try harder".
To which she replied "Maybe when she's older"

WTF?!?!?!

She's so psycho & jealous it's unbelievable.

Way for her to take away from the occasion of your child's first birthday and making about her.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

It was Aleena's first birthday on Sat and there were a bunch of people.
Aleena isn't used to be around that many people so I held her.
I stood by DH's grandma most of the time and she interacted with Aleena a lot.
They were sharing books etc.

MIL sat far away from everyone on the couch the entire time.. didn't try to interact with Aleena once.
Even her DH came up to Aleena and talked to her.

So later that evening DH was on FB and his mother started chatting to him ..
"Do you think Aleena enjoyed all of that, really"

WTF!

Then she was bitching about "I'll never know that little girl, cause of your wife".
So my DH said "I don't know why"
She said "She could have sat her down to play with me"

Then my DH said "You could have just stood up and interacted with everyone"
She said something and my DH said "Well maybe you should try harder".
To which she replied "Maybe when she's older"

WTF?!?!?!

She's so psycho & jealous it's unbelievable.

Aww, happy 1st birthday to her! Hope she enjoyed it all Your MIL seems very selfish...if it was such a big deal to her then she should have come over and spent time with her...it's not like you were running away from her! Why is it no matter what you do, MIL is not happy when things don't go the way THEY want them to and blames you for all of it.

MIL's upset with me because she swears I told her Clay was in 12 mo. clothes (he's actually in 6-9mo) and bought clothes for him. She's all upset because they're summer clothes and he won't be able to wear them now and why did I tell her he was wearing 12mo...why on earth would I even tell her that to begin with? She just wants someone to blame because things didn't go her way

Is it that she listens to not a damn word you say... if she even asked you? I bet you that is closer to the truth.

If she's going to get all butthurt by it.. then return them. Don't make it another reason to run down YOU down.

 

[ValentinesGal]

MizzDeeDee I think she just thinks everything is about her to be in all honesty...as much as I try, she just drives me crazy!

Btw, how's it going with your MIL?

 

[MizzDeeDee]

MizzDeeDee I think she just thinks everything is about her to be in all honesty...as much as I try, she just drives me crazy!

Btw, how's it going with your MIL?

I refuse to have anything to do with her or her minions. She gets to see LO under supervision with OH when she asks to see her.. which is roughly once a month or so. Keep in mind.. she lives accross the street. She really doesn't make much effort at all.

From what I was told by OH, when he brought her over last Saturday, she asked if she was walking(she stands on her own and cruises) and when he said what she did, she brought up her other grandchild and said he was walking by 10 months(LO is 10 months). OH ignored her and so she brought it up to her DH asking him when OH's nephew walked and wasn't it 10 months????... and he ignored her too actually. Very telling.

Bought LO a eyeore stuffed animal and a DVD of some kid's show called Dinosaur Train because she knows that LO likes dinosaurs(she uses dinosaur toys as a teething toy). Doesn't ask about me because.. well she knows that ship has sailed.

On another note- the newly pregnant SIL of OH's was driving by and "waved" at OH.. I put it in qoutations because he said she looked really pained to acknowledge him. He told me " That bitch better not think she's doing me any favors!" A lot of people in this area have an overinflated sense of ego-and she is certainly one of them. She's nothing special.

 

[ValentinesGal]

MizzDeeDee I think she just thinks everything is about her to be in all honesty...as much as I try, she just drives me crazy!

Btw, how's it going with your MIL?

I refuse to have anything to do with her or her minions. She gets to see LO under supervision with OH when she asks to see her.. which is roughly once a month or so. Keep in mind.. she lives accross the street. She really doesn't make much effort at all.

From what I was told by OH, when he brought her over last Saturday, she asked if she was walking(she stands on her own and cruises) and when he said what she did, she brought up her other grandchild and said he was walking by 10 months(LO is 10 months). OH ignored her and so she brought it up to her DH asking him when OH's nephew walked and wasn't it 10 months????... and he ignored her too actually. Very telling.

Bought LO a eyeore stuffed animal and a DVD of some kid's show called Dinosaur Train because she knows that LO likes dinosaurs(she uses dinosaur toys as a teething toy). Doesn't ask about me because.. well she knows that ship has sailed.

On another note- the newly pregnant SIL of OH's was driving by and "waved" at OH.. I put it in qoutations because he said she looked really pained to acknowledge him. He told me " That bitch better not think she's doing me any favors!" A lot of people in this area have an overinflated sense of ego-and she is certainly one of them. She's nothing special.

Why does it have to be a competition? Is the SIL who's preggers the same one with the son who was walking at 10 months? If so, from the sounds of it, she seems stuck somewhere up MIL's butt...maybe she should leave a bread crumb trail to find her way out.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

MizzDeeDee I think she just thinks everything is about her to be in all honesty...as much as I try, she just drives me crazy!

Btw, how's it going with your MIL?

I refuse to have anything to do with her or her minions. She gets to see LO under supervision with OH when she asks to see her.. which is roughly once a month or so. Keep in mind.. she lives accross the street. She really doesn't make much effort at all.

From what I was told by OH, when he brought her over last Saturday, she asked if she was walking(she stands on her own and cruises) and when he said what she did, she brought up her other grandchild and said he was walking by 10 months(LO is 10 months). OH ignored her and so she brought it up to her DH asking him when OH's nephew walked and wasn't it 10 months????... and he ignored her too actually. Very telling.

Bought LO a eyeore stuffed animal and a DVD of some kid's show called Dinosaur Train because she knows that LO likes dinosaurs(she uses dinosaur toys as a teething toy). Doesn't ask about me because.. well she knows that ship has sailed.

On another note- the newly pregnant SIL of OH's was driving by and "waved" at OH.. I put it in qoutations because he said she looked really pained to acknowledge him. He told me " That bitch better not think she's doing me any favors!" A lot of people in this area have an overinflated sense of ego-and she is certainly one of them. She's nothing special.

Why does it have to be a competition? Is the SIL who's preggers the same one with the son who was walking at 10 months? If so, from the sounds of it, she seems stuck somewhere up MIL's butt...maybe she should leave a bread crumb trail to find her way out.

Two seperate women.. but both kiss this woman's ass. The one with the ten month old (now he is three) leaves the boy with MIL all weekend, now other SIL, OH's 78 year old Aunt and 85 year old Uncle who can barely walk,and God knows who else... this of course in addition to her own Mother watching him Monday through Friday while she works. I don't know when she sees her son.

The other one has never been very friendly with me and seemed to get annoyed when I got pregnant which was right around when her and OH's brother got married. I think she felt that she should have had a baby first and I should have just let my ovaries dry up(I'm 35). She harassed the bejesus out of OH's brother until now... nearly two years later he managed to get her pregnant.

*Sigh* ... I look at this and I think.. maybe it's me- but she's isn't easy to get along with- they just kiss her ass, and I refuse to do that. The thought process that you just deal with your MIL's behavior no matter how she acts because she is the MATRIARCH of the family. I hold people accountable for their actions just as I hold myself.

BTW.. this is more of a whole story of my in-law issues if you want to read. My story is the first three posts...

https://www.grandparents.com/gp/gro...scussions/thread541457/index.html?find=541457