Military Wives/Fiances/Girlfriends Support Group

[cleckner04]

Christmas with OH away officially SUCKS. We have nothing to do, and no one to see.

Also, there is a chance he'll have to stay away an extra month.

I know the feeling hun. And to top it off, I have food poisoning or something similar. Was up all night puking every half hour. I plan on getting on skype with my parents but that is it. This is your LO's first christmas too huh.. And they may keep him an extra month?? That seriously sucks.

 

[Nimyra]

Christmas with OH away officially SUCKS. We have nothing to do, and no one to see.

Also, there is a chance he'll have to stay away an extra month.

I know the feeling hun. And to top it off, I have food poisoning or something similar. Was up all night puking every half hour. I plan on getting on skype with my parents but that is it. This is your LO's first christmas too huh.. And they may keep him an extra month?? That seriously sucks.

Thanks for the hugs. I drank half a bottle of wine today (over the course of several hours, but still !) because I was feeling blue. bad Mommy. Feeling a bit better now.

It's not certain whether he'll have to stay longer or not. The problem is one of the guys he works with might be sent home early for a medical problem, and if that happens then hubby will have to cover for him until his replacement comes. I told DH to just NOT tell me bad news if it isn't certain. Definite bad news is bad enough, but uncertain bad news... I don't even know how to deal with. :grumble:

Feel a bit better now that that is out of my system. Thanks for listening.

By the way, Maya is sleeping a bit better, and napping better too. She still only goes 3-4 hours at a time, but I'm really not complaining. Thanks for the wise counsel. I think putting on white noise is really helping.

 

[cleckner04]

Oh I totally know what you mean about bad news!! Dh tells me any rumors that he hears and than I just worry double time. Wine sounds awesome!! I may have to do that one of these days. I definitely have my days that I feel completely sorry for myself.

Yay for sleeping better!! That must be a relief.

 

[Justagirlxx]

Christmas with OH away officially SUCKS. We have nothing to do, and no one to see.

Also, there is a chance he'll have to stay away an extra month.

massive
So sorry hun. It must be so hard having him gone on christmas and being away from family too. I hope your day is better today. We don't have a lot of money and my OH felt bad because he couldn't get me a big present but I told him that just being together on christmas is the biggest present I can get because it's very possible we wont be together next christmas.



Anyways he got me a Build-a-Bear in Army camis with aviators and put his necklace that he always wears on it instead of the dog-tags. I really love it and am going to sleep with it every night when he's gone!

 

[Justagirlxx]

Sooo ladies...

We have always said we are gonna wait till he graduates AIT to try for #2 in August. That would make the kids 21 months apart if I got preg straight away... Anyways... DH brought up that he thinks we should try for #2 when he graduates Basic in April!!! (6 months sooner!!!) I am so excited. But I'm trying not to get too excited because A) I'm not sure what it's going to be like when he's gone and I may change my mind about all this and B) We only have less than a week to get pregnant so its pretty slim chances BUT I concieved JJ while I was on the pill (Missed two... BEST thing my forgetfulness has EVER done for my life ) Anyways if I don't get pregnant straight away I'm going to fly up during AIT so we can try again the next month

Sorry I'm a bit OTT right now I'm just so excited!!

sooo yeahhhh just had to tell you all

 

[Nimyra]

That's really exciting, Justagirl!

I really want to start trying for #2, but since I'm breastfeeding and still doing lots of night feeds I doubt I'll be fertile for a long time. It's probably just as well, because I'm going to try to finish school before DH gets reassigned out of the area (~2 years).

Christmas day was better. Maya and I spent the day at a friend's house and her MIL and SIL played with Maya, which was really sweet. I'm getting impatient for DH's deployment to end, but every day down is one less to go.

How's everyone else holding up?

 

[Nic1107]

Hey ladies! I was thinking of you on Christmas, hoping your day was fun and wonderful even with your OHs on deployment. We had a nice Christmas, although it was over by noon because everyone else had other places to go- except us, so we stayed home and the day went on like any other. Bee still hasn't found a job; I'm afraid he's getting comfortable on unemployment pay and hasn't been spending much time looking for work anymore. I've only suggested once that he re-enlist; I don't want to push it but it's starting to look like our only viable option for moving out of his parents' house. *sigh* I don't really like the idea of constantly moving house again and being even farther from my parents, but we're not making enough money to support ourselves, no health insurance, etc. and the navy would take care of all that again. But... I have to admit... I'm hesitant to want him to re-enlist anyway after what happened early this year when he was overseas...

 

[Justagirlxx]

Hey ladies! I was thinking of you on Christmas, hoping your day was fun and wonderful even with your OHs on deployment. We had a nice Christmas, although it was over by noon because everyone else had other places to go- except us, so we stayed home and the day went on like any other. Bee still hasn't found a job; I'm afraid he's getting comfortable on unemployment pay and hasn't been spending much time looking for work anymore. I've only suggested once that he re-enlist; I don't want to push it but it's starting to look like our only viable option for moving out of his parents' house. *sigh* I don't really like the idea of constantly moving house again and being even farther from my parents, but we're not making enough money to support ourselves, no health insurance, etc. and the navy would take care of all that again. But... I have to admit... I'm hesitant to want him to re-enlist anyway after what happened early this year when he was overseas...

Has he been looking for a job in his career field? This is what I'm worried about when DH gets out... that we will be stuck in the same position we are in now (hoping I have a full time job though...) anyways I'm worried there wont be any IT jobs when he gets out and he'll have to re-enlist. The economy is still so bad right now. I hope your husband finds a good job soon!

 

[Nic1107]

Yeah, he's been looking for electrician work, but the economy is total shit where we live. No luck yet

 

[Justagirlxx]

Yeah, he's been looking for electrician work, but the economy is total shit where we live. No luck yet

Yeah it's the same around here. Not many job openings, and the ones that are always seem to have so many applicants which means much higher level of competition. It's why I'm finishing my Bachelors because in this economy theres no possible way I can start a career with just my Associates. x

 

[Nimyra]

Happy New Years, ladies! Hope 2011 brings us all wonderful times with our loved ones.

 

[Justagirlxx]

Happy New Years everyone!!

 

[Kerrie-x]

Happy new year all xx

 

[cleckner04]

Happy new years girls!!! It's so weird for me because DH is an entire day ahead of me. Our dating anniversary was yesterday and he was already in the new year. 9 Years and going strong though!!

 

[nevertogether]

Name: Liana
Military Branch: U.S. Army / Arkansas Army National Guard
How long he's been in: DH has been in 3 years, me 2 years
Currently Deployed?: Yes, DH is. I'm at a permanent duty station in Germany
How long you've been together: Married for 2 years
How do you like the Military Life?: I hate it. I think if we weren't both military it would be more enjoyable, but we don't have the same duty station so I haven't seen him very much this year.

 

[Nimyra]

Welcome Liana. That sounds really tough being away from your husband and overseas away from family and friends too!

Thank you for your service!

 

[nevertogether]

Nimyra - Thanks a lot for your compassion. It's extremely hard to be away from my entire support system and also away from my husband. We have been lucky with my location because I have gotten to see him more often than if I was in America. It's nice to talk to other wives though so I anticipate this being a great group to be a part of!

 

[Nimyra]

So. I'm struggling a bit to make decisions about staying at home vs. finishing school vs. working. My husband would say that I don't have to make this decision now - but I *do* have to make decision soon about the school part anyway.

Here is my situation --
- We can afford to live on my husband's income
- I have a degree already in math (and am qualified to teach/tutor) but I had decided a while back to switch fields and am halfway through a program in counseling
- Finishing my program would require 2 years (4 semesters) of part-time work ~20-25 hours a week most of which is an internship
- Even if I finish my program, I'd really like to be home at least part-time (maybe full time) with my children until they are school age
- Finishing my program would require some expense (paying for classes) as well as childcare expense
- If I don't finish my program and later decided I still wanted to do counseling, I would probably have to re-do a significant amount of the coursework I have already done
- My husband wants me to go back to work when whatever children we have are school aged
- I love being at home, although I do get bored sometimes. Family is my #1 priority

Reading this out it sounds to me like I'm not really wanting to finish my program considering that it would be then be another several years before I would even use my degree (and who knows what I would want to be doing at that point). However, I'm really scared that if I take all that time to be home then I won't have any career to go back to and how would I find a job. I also feel nervous about being so dependent on my husband (what if something happened, or what if we don't have enough of a retirement to support both of us, etc).

If anyone else has been in a similar situation or just has some good advice for working through my conflicting feelings I'd really appreciate it!

 

[Justagirlxx]

Welcome Liana!! Wow it must be so hard to both be in the military, you must get such little time together. Also ttc while being apart most of the time must be tough! May I ask how long you have left in the military? If you get pregnant will they still deploy you and make you leave your baby behind? Do they give you time off? Sorry for the 20 questions, just curious! I hope you get your baby soon sweetie!!

Nim - I am in the same exact position as you! I am going back to school this month because I need to finish my BA. But the thing is.. I don't want to work. I want to stay home with my son. I really don't want to work full time and miss so much while he is growing up. I also want to TTC #2 and don't see myself working at the same time as taking care of two until they are in school. Anyways, I think it's great that you are taking a program to do the counseling thing, I think thats what I might end up doing also after I finish my BA in Psychology. Finishing your education before your kids are in school could be a good thing so that you can get a job right when they start going. On the other hand it might be much easier for you to concentrate on your studies if you go back after they are in school. That way you will have time to go to class and study while they are already in school. Either way I understand your hesitation on what to do, it's all so confusing, especially with a husband in the military since you have to worry about relocation all the time. x

 

[Nimyra]

Hi everyone,

Little update -- currently I'm planning on going back to school. Also, it looks like my husband will not have to stay the extra month so with any luck he'll be home soon.