geministar
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- Nov 18, 2010
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Hello Ladies,
Not sure if I am doing this right, my friend introduced me to the site and everyone you go on is different so i hope I post it correctly.
I have read many of your posts, from the start where there has been much heart break through to the more positive posts where some of you have got you BNP's - it's so nice to hear good from all the heart ache that has happened. Unfortunately I have found myself in this situation
My name is Gem and I have a 3 year old little boy, me and my hubby got married at the end of Aug (we did things the other way around!) I found out we were expecting our 2nd baby two days before our wedding day and we were over the moon.
For some reason during the pregnancy around 6-8 I started to feel something wasn't right and that I was too well, that may sound strange but I had had morning sickness with my little boy and with this pregnancy I just felt too good. The midwife at my booking in appointment told me not too worry and that every pregnancy is different!!
Along came my 12 week scan in Oct and instead of being excited I was dreading it if I am honest...I just knew that something wasn't right but I tried to stay positive. My worst fear came true and they told me I had had a mmc. the baby had stopped growing at 7+5. i don't have to explain how I felt as I know from reading the posts the feelings we have all been through are quite similar...my world seemed to have ended! I opted for a manual vaccum aspiration the next day. Part of me didin't want to lose my baby but I couldn't deal with the thought of carrying my dead baby. The mva was very painful, I had local and it was horrid but only last 10 minutes!
3 weeks later I got a letter from the hospital, they had been trying to call me. me and hubby were panick striken about what news they had, and they explained I had had a pmp. My first reaction was that I was relieved that they said I should be able to have more children and it wouldn't affect my next pregnancy...as time as gone on it has really sunk in what it all means. I'm not dealing with the thought of waiting 6 months to be able to ttc again well! Hubby just wants me to be ok and let my body do what it has to but I just want another baby. Knowing what has happened has helped me to deal with why we lost our baby, at least I know it wasn't something I personlly did but it doesn't ease the heart ache of losing it! Seeing other people pregnant isn't affecting me as much as I thought it would...life goes on, I wish them well...I just want my baby and that's all that matters to me. people have said that I am lucky to have my little boy and I have known that since the day he was born, they don't have to tell me...it doesn't ease the hurt or the need though!!
it will be 4 weeks yesterday since I had my mva, and funny enough my af came 4 weeks to the day of my scan. At first I thought that seemed cruel as though it was a reminder but now I like to think that my little baby I never met is trying to let me know that my body is getting back to nrmal and that everything will be ok.
I'm waiting to hear from Sheffield so I feel a little lost until I know what my levels are and where I stand!
So sorry for the rant but I'm so glad I have found this site and there are people who truely know how it feels to be in this situation.
I wish everyone of you much luck and love in the future
Gem xcx
Not sure if I am doing this right, my friend introduced me to the site and everyone you go on is different so i hope I post it correctly.
I have read many of your posts, from the start where there has been much heart break through to the more positive posts where some of you have got you BNP's - it's so nice to hear good from all the heart ache that has happened. Unfortunately I have found myself in this situation
My name is Gem and I have a 3 year old little boy, me and my hubby got married at the end of Aug (we did things the other way around!) I found out we were expecting our 2nd baby two days before our wedding day and we were over the moon.
For some reason during the pregnancy around 6-8 I started to feel something wasn't right and that I was too well, that may sound strange but I had had morning sickness with my little boy and with this pregnancy I just felt too good. The midwife at my booking in appointment told me not too worry and that every pregnancy is different!!
Along came my 12 week scan in Oct and instead of being excited I was dreading it if I am honest...I just knew that something wasn't right but I tried to stay positive. My worst fear came true and they told me I had had a mmc. the baby had stopped growing at 7+5. i don't have to explain how I felt as I know from reading the posts the feelings we have all been through are quite similar...my world seemed to have ended! I opted for a manual vaccum aspiration the next day. Part of me didin't want to lose my baby but I couldn't deal with the thought of carrying my dead baby. The mva was very painful, I had local and it was horrid but only last 10 minutes!
3 weeks later I got a letter from the hospital, they had been trying to call me. me and hubby were panick striken about what news they had, and they explained I had had a pmp. My first reaction was that I was relieved that they said I should be able to have more children and it wouldn't affect my next pregnancy...as time as gone on it has really sunk in what it all means. I'm not dealing with the thought of waiting 6 months to be able to ttc again well! Hubby just wants me to be ok and let my body do what it has to but I just want another baby. Knowing what has happened has helped me to deal with why we lost our baby, at least I know it wasn't something I personlly did but it doesn't ease the heart ache of losing it! Seeing other people pregnant isn't affecting me as much as I thought it would...life goes on, I wish them well...I just want my baby and that's all that matters to me. people have said that I am lucky to have my little boy and I have known that since the day he was born, they don't have to tell me...it doesn't ease the hurt or the need though!!
it will be 4 weeks yesterday since I had my mva, and funny enough my af came 4 weeks to the day of my scan. At first I thought that seemed cruel as though it was a reminder but now I like to think that my little baby I never met is trying to let me know that my body is getting back to nrmal and that everything will be ok.
I'm waiting to hear from Sheffield so I feel a little lost until I know what my levels are and where I stand!
So sorry for the rant but I'm so glad I have found this site and there are people who truely know how it feels to be in this situation.
I wish everyone of you much luck and love in the future
Gem xcx