Hiya, hope it is a wee bit better this wkend, having Paul and the kids around. You've been through such a lot. Dont be hard on yourself about anything. Just try and get through each day bit by bit and allow yourself to grieve. We are all here for you. Sorry this is such a sad time for you.
Did you get an apt to see the dr about your heart?
It is ironic given that you're so big hearted! You are such a loving, kind, thoughtful, fun person, those days will return.
Look after yourself xxxxxxx