Moving over from the ttc after loss thread

[GI_Jane]

Yey go team blue!

Think you mentioned the name oscar before?

8dpo and I took a cheapy test with FMU this morning. Nothing there except an evap. It's still early though

 

[mackjess]

I think I'm out. But I'm ok with it. I had been sick and still taking antibiotics and decongestant, etc. It's all baby safe but I would hate to be taking that many meds when a BFP happened.

FX for you jane.

And Blue? I need to go back and read what I missed!!

 

[GI_Jane]

I pretty sure I'm out too mackjess.

I've only one more ovulation chance this year now. Would be lovely to have something to announce at Christmas/new year!

 

[bobster]

Have you retested Jane?

 

[GI_Jane]

Yes, 11 dpo and BFN. Really feeling like AF is around the corner.
I'm disappointed but not surprised either. Will see what the bloods come back with.

How you doing bobster after your boy news?

 

[bobster]

Ah sorry for bfn. Fingers crossed for next month or a late bfp.

I'm ok. Tensions have been a bit high with OH. We've been arguing a bit recently. I'm feeling really disconnected with this pregnancy. I'm not feeling excited or anything like I felt with Jack. I hope these feelings (or lack of) are normal. I worry that im not ready for 2. If someone asks me how I am at work I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. I wish I didn't feel like this it's the total opposite to how I felt with Jack.

I think not having OH is making it worse. I've been horrible to him recently. Snappy and not close to him at all. I think it's just hormones but I feel like I've pushed him away and now it's harder because we're just avoiding each other around the house and focusing on Jack and you can tell he's not wanting to talk to me so it's awkward. Hopefully the dust will settle after our recent arguments soon and we'll be back to normal.

Any plans for next cycle Jane and Mack? Are you doing preseed or anything?

 

[GI_Jane]

I'm sorry to hear that you are not getting along with OH at the moment bobster and sounds like you could really use his support.
Could you guys find time to sit down and clear the air and tell him your worries about having 2 and anything else that you have on your mind?

I hope your friends that have 2 babies are able to put your mind at rest about what the realities of having two.

Could you put the worry about having 2 out of your mind and embrace the current pregnancy you have? you said its unlikely you will have a third so enjoy what you have in the now mumma. Easier said then done I know but perhaps once you've cleared the air with OH you will start to feel better.

Hugs.x

 

[bobster]

Thanks Jane I know you are right. Not feeling myself at the moment. I know it will all be ok in the end

 

[mackjess]

Bobster I'm sure what you are feeling is normal. I waited awhile to TTC with #2 because I couldn't imagine being tired and prego and everything I felt with #1 while he was little, and I still worry about that now, and how do you juggle a newborn and a toddler. I know it's going to be hard, but worth it. I'm sure if I have these worries now I can't imagine some of the feelings I'll have when I'm actually prego. I just keep reminding myself how much love a sibling will bring to my little man. And congrats on a boy!! Giving Finn a brother would be soooo amazing, but I'm sure he'd make a great brother for a sister too. Hang in there, and try to talk to OH if you can. It's probably hard being excited to outsiders but I'm sure you can explain to him and he will be understanding.

I am pretty excited. We booked a trip months ago to NY in November, but I thought I'd just be finishing AF while we were there, then not OV until a week after we got back around thanksgiving. We host thanksgiving so I was worried about being tired and stressed and BDing with all that. BUT with my AFs being a day or so early, I will actually OV right after we get back, so it will be prime time to BD while we are on vacation, ourselves, finn home with the grandparents. I'm hoping it's a sign.

Jane, I'm deffo out. I start AF Thursday and had my standard chips and brownies cravings today and some lower back pain. That's always PMS signs for me. I'd love to already be pregnant when we are in NY, but feeling positive about my next cycle.

MLM, how are your little girls. It's been a few weeks now. I am jealous and wow that must be so hard at the same time. It's precious that you get to have so much girl time all together. Sounds very sweet.

 

[mackjess]

Ugh. Af started today at only 24 days. Since I was sick his cycle I didn't do OPKs. I hope all is good for next cycle. =/

 

[GI_Jane]

I'm sure it's just a blip caused by the meds you took mackjess. Perhaps your o will now coincide whilst your in NYC rather than just after it?

What are your plans there? Christmas shopping and a broadway show?

Af is due today or tomorrow and feeling emotionally volatile!

How you feeling bobster?

 

[mackjess]

The hunger games movie is coming out the weekend we are there, so we are going to see that in a big IMAX theater. LOL. I had looked for shows, but nothing that was affordable was open the days we will be there.

We are going to sleep in, order room service, and do shopping and site seeing.

When are your next appointments Bobster and Jane?

 

[GI_Jane]

That sounds perfect mackjess. I love NYC. DH and I worked there for 3 years when we first got married and that time will forever be in our hearts. Have a fabulous time together in a great city.

Af got me in the night. So having 'day 2' bloods taken tomorrow then need to book a telephone consult to get all the results. DH takes his sample in on Tuesday so will need to help him with that haha I guess we wont get any sort of referral to a specialist until the new year now. Can't believe this year is almost over. I hope I get a BFP next year!

How you feeling bobster?

 

[bobster]

Love the hunger games!!! Your break sounds amazing mack. Perfect for lots of relaxed baby making!

Jane I didn't know you lived in nyc! Wow I bet it was such a different life. Boo for cd 2 but yay for one step further into the investigations. I am positive your bfp will be this year and can't wait to hear it.

We are a bit better now thanks for asking. We made up and are getting more used to the idea of 2 now. I felt a bit disappointed about having another boy if I'm completely honest and I felt really guilty for feeling that way. On the one hand I felt happy for Jack to have a brothe and I really do believe a boy will fit into our family better but on the other I felt sad that I'd never have a daughter. Selfish I know. It's just something I always pictured having from being young. I've got used to it now the news is final and I'm happy. I always knew it was a boy but until the scan you always have a doubt. It's been really strange and contradictory feelings of happiness and grief but talking through them with OH has definitely helped. I haven't shared the news with everyone irl yet as I worried about showing my emotions and people thinking I'm an awful and ungrateful person. Please don't judge me for sharing these thoughts as my main priority is definitely a healthy baby and I do feel so grateful especially after the mc's and I already love him so much!

 

[mlm115]

Bobster, I totally understand how you're feeling... If I'm being totally honest I had some disappointment with finding out I was having another girl. I was probably more disappointed when I found out that my first was a girl, as I always pictured having a boy first. However, I can truly say that I am beyond happy with it now, two girls is just perfect for me and my family and I wouldn't have it any other way. im so glad you are able to talk through your emotions with your OH. As thrilled and lucky as you are to be expecting #2, it's still ok to have fears and doubts, etc.

Afm, I'm having a little bit of a tougher time today. I love being home with my girls, but sometimes I feel so annoyed at DH that I'm the only one taking care of the kids. For instance, it's 4am now, and he is sleeping soundly while I have been up three times to give Audrey her paci or to feed her. I just wish I didn't always have to ask him when I want help, I wish he would just step in and do it on his own. Ok I'm done complaining now!

 

[bobster]

Thanks so much mlm. It really helps to hear other people have had similar emotions because at first I felt like I was the only one to feel that way and I felt so guilty. I'm glad it's out in the open now though and I just know it will all be fine once he's here. I already feel better now and I've bought some cute new baby things.

Mlm sorry to hear you feel like this. I remember feeling the same resentment towards my OH with Jack and I know some of my friends have felt the same. It's hard because being the main carer is full time where as they get to have a part of their old normal life and time out. I know its frustrating when you have to tell them the obvious but maybe you need to in order to get a little bit of rest bite. I remember telling my OH it's 24 hour a day work for me and he started helping a bit more with night feeds etc then. I would have a chat before you get more annoyed and it becomes a big argument. I'm learning to share my feelings more to avoid those after recent times!

 

[GI_Jane]

So pleased you are feeling better bobster now you've had a good chat to OH....and never any judgement here

Mlm, ditto what bobster said. Communication is the key.

When is you NYC trip mackjess?

 

[mackjess]

Jane-I updated my calendar but it didn't change the O date. Which makes me suspicious so I'm going to start OPKs today to make sure I don't miss it. I think we will still be in the NY window even if it changes a little.

How awesome that you got to live there! I'm really excited for this weekend and it's just a few days. We've never been away so I am just looking forward to sleeping in a bit, staying up late if we want, and just relaxing.

mlm and bobster - maybe I'm weird bc I want another boy. lol. I am really close to one of my sisters, so I feel like I want him to have that same brotherly bond. Which I'm sure your girls will have mlm. It's a wonderful thing. I think I would be disappointed as I really want Finn to have a brother to play with, but at the same time I'll still be excited if I were to have a girl. I wish I had more time to try for more, but age is limiting me to 2 kiddos I'm afraid. I just really really hope that one more does work out for me. I am sure even with being let down at first, having your healthy boy will be the best thing ever Bobster. I guess that is an upside to having to wait 10 months for arrival, a lot of time to adjust. I am glad you've talked to OH. I was kind of snappy at DH this weekend and finally told him I was stressed about not being able to get pregnant and mad about something he didn't even know about. He seemed relieved and was understanding. I'll have to try talking more going forward too.

 

[GI_Jane]

Have a wonderful weekend mackjess. I find even when away from Greg I spend most of the time talking about him! Enjoy that time together with DH.

Feels better once you tell DH how you feel doesn't it. I'm good at sharing to DH but he bottles up- perhaps it's a man thing?

Didn't get the job, pretty disappointed. Oh well will start looking again after Christmas. Applications and interviews are so time consuming and emotionally draining.

 

[bobster]

I bet you'll get the next one Jane. It is draining and stressful but maybe it's just because you haven't had one for a while. Could you ask for feedback?

Mack I also want a boy for the reason of a bond. I think it's really confusing the way I've felt because although I want another boy for lots of reasons I've almost felt I've mourned never having a daughter. Sounds weird I know because I didn't have one to mourn in the beginning.
I am excited to watch them play and have a brotherly bond. I love having a boy more than anything. It's because I know this is the last baby I think.

Mack I can completely understand the worry about getting pregnant again but try not to panic as all the signs that you are fertile are there so there's no reason not to. I'm glad hubby was supportive. Sounds like we all are so lucky to have such good men.