My mother and I both prego????

[mrsstreet0417]

OK, well, my mother is on her third marriage. She was married to my Dad (and had me) , then right after divorce with my Dad was married again (had my brother), now she is married again, and after she had my brother she had her tubes tied. Well, my mom is not over the age that is socially acceptable to have kids, she is 40 in September, and I am 19. My DH and I found out recently that we are expecting a baby after 3 miscarriages and we are waiting to see if this is a sticky bean. Well, I'm rambling, so long story short, my mother wants to get her tubes untied so she can have another baby. I love my mother, but she has not done a overly incredible job with the children she has had! She always puts her husbands before her children
(no matter what, for instance when my 1st step dad beat and abused me for years and years and she told me it was my fault and she didn't believe me about the abuse) and she wants another child that she will not care for anyways. This just seems so unfair to me...If we ended up losing this bean and she has a baby I will be devastated. And if we are pregnant at the same time how awkward will that be? She will probably point the finger at me and ask why I'm choosing to have children this early, but it's her fault, because of her I grew up fast and am very mature for my age. Plus, why would she do this to me now, knowing that we have been trying to get pregnant for so long and are so happy... I just don't know anymore...

 

[PrettyBonk]

Oh hun...forget about your mom wants to do and concentrate on you, your DH, and your babe...enjoy your pregnancy....and don't sweat that your mom wants to have a baby now...
Plus...she is 40 and her bio clock is slowing down...so it may take her a while to fall pregnant

Dont stress about your mother situation...that has NOTHING to do with your pregnancy...so enjoy it...

 

[ahava]

wow 40 eh? lol....im 42 with my first ..heee... sounds so weird.... listen dont worry , just look after yourself, im sure everybody will be fine...... just relax...

 

[GersPrincess]

I was in this situation when I was pregnant with my son! Except, it was my Dad who had a vasectomy reversal and got my step-mum pregnant... my sister and my son are born less than 3 months apart! I was 18 when I had my son, and my Dad was 36 at the time. He was more weirded out by it than I was, I thought it was wicked! They then had a son in 2006, when my son and daughter were 5 and 4 respectively. It was really funny. Sonny (my bro) would cry, and Joe (my son) would say " its ok Uncle Sonny," and try to make him laugh.. you want to have seen the strange looks we used to get when we all went out together as a family!!

 

[lexy604]

I feel ya my mom is on her 5th marriage now and only had me and my brother im 27 hes 30 i think hehe shes 49 in july and we dont even talk she doesnt know i am pregnant and just drinks to much i couldnt imagine her having a kid again she had a hysterectemy (sp) so she couldnt anyways but i completely get where your coming from.

 

[snugglebot]

I second Prettybonk's sentiments. It has nothing to do with your miracle. Try not to let your mom ruin/stress you on during this very special time for you.

It is very easy when you have been the responsible one for so long, to take on another stress of worrying about whether she should have another child (parent/child role reversals). But you have to move on with your life. As horrible as your childhood was, it is your turn to give this new life, this new miracle, the childhood that every child should have. Simply put, love your little bean to bits and forget the rest. I believe you will persevere just fine.

 

[Lunaty]

i agree with snugglebot!
this is your chance to make sure your child has a better upbringin then you ever had!

my mom was 40 when she had me, we were never really close but i get along with her now.. She was my example f what not to do with my children and i think these stick more with yuo then the good things

Try and relax, you dotn want anything form her anyways right?!
Bubs will be greatful for it too i bet !

 

[Nanaki]

Dont worry about your mum, you have a life of your own and a baby growing inside you. Just ignore your mum for now and you need to concentrate on yourself and don't let the stress or anything in your way.

My mum has her tubes (i think) strelised after divorced with my Dad and met her man, she never wanted a child with him because he had anger and short fuse problem plus he have 3 kids himself.

So, please dont worry about your mum and you need to worry about yourself and your bean!! xx

 

[mrsstreet0417]

Thank you everyone. I feel much better about the situation, you all have given me new perspective on it.

 

[charlottesma]

My mum was equally crap with me that said she had my brother at 40 and was a great mum to him.

right now though you need to stop worrying about her and concentrate on your own little bean.

 

[babystar]

 

[puppycat]

Ahhh mum's can be a pain can't they!!

My step mum is currently pregnant; due the end of April.

That means my child's uncle/aunty will be 7 months older!! I think it'll be nice though that they can grow up together.

I have a 3 year old brother also so it'll be one big family party.

If your mum does get pregnant then it'll give your child the option to play with another child around their age which can only be good for development right?

Try and see the positive side of things because it does sound like if she wants to do it then no amount of stressing will change the situation.

I'm sure it'll all be fine