Need opinions- about job interview, am sat here crying

[Bex84]

I applied for a job in august that came up which is a weekend job. Even then I wasn't sure but applied for it anyway as the job is a nice one even though not what I trained in, I had not heard anything till today so to be honest forgot about it. I am a sahm at the moment which I adore. I hate being away from my lo. The longest I've been away from her is half an hour. We are managing ok and don't worry with money or about paying bills each month and I am well aware that time is ticking down to which I will be able to spend this time with lo. The other issue is that dh does paperwork for his work one day of the weekend. He thinks he will be able to do this on the day I work if I got job while looking after lo. I know LO wont do that and when he is doing work I always entertain her, we hardly see him in evenings anyway due to paper work and one day of weekend we do shopping and spend time as a family. I know we could be better off financially but I'm sat here in tears the thought of being away from lo before I have to be. I will send her for free hours at nursery when she's 3 so school isn't a total shock. I can see the positives economically. My DH is a fantastic dad but I think he would find it stressful to try and do paper work, make LOs meals (as I cook all the time) clean up after her, entertain her and make sure she is not stuck in all day) she is a bit of mummy's girl and will only fall asleep for me. My DH says its my decision, he is up for a pay increase and the money from the job will not make a huge difference. To be honest I barely spend anything in the week. Just want others opinions on what they would do. I know I have to let go at some point, and my lo is independent but I don't want to miss stuff if I don't have to

 

[lilyd]

You've got to do what feels right, but maybe it would be nice for your OH to get some alone time with her as well?

 

[Bex84]

I just know poor DH would be trying to do paper work on that day so it wouldent particularly be quality time. When Im at home he has more of a chance as I can look after her while he works and then the time he actually has with her is proper one on one time where he can play and interact with her. I just know it will be him telling her to stop and saying no constantly as he is sure he would be able to do both. If he did work the other day we would have no family time together. Its my biggest worry as I know when I did some marking work LO made it near impossible to get anything done. He was so stressed out the one day I was really ill and he was trying to look after lo. My worries arnt based on his parenting as he is fantastic but I know he will struggle and he cant make mistakes in his paperwork

 

[LuckyYem]

I think you need to do what is right for you all as a family. If you don't need the money and don't want to be away from your LO don't take the application forward. I work weekend nights (friday and saturday 19.00-07.00) but we need the money. We have Sundays as our family time. Tbh I would also be concerned about your dh managing to do his paperwork whilst looking after your lo, if you do go for the job is there anyway he could do his paperwork in the evenings? Good luck with your decision x

 

[MiniKiwi]

It doesn't sound like you want to do the job. If you don't need to then I wouldn't do it if I was you. I wanted to be a sahm but have a job now and I hate it and often cry about how I wish I was with LO etc.

If you're sat there crying just thinking about it (like I used to!) then the reality will probably be much worse (as it is for me). Enjoy your LO while she's just little and you have the opportunity, imo.

 

[Bex84]

I think you need to do what is right for you all as a family. If you don't need the money and don't want to be away from your LO don't take the application forward. I work weekend nights (friday and saturday 19.00-07.00) but we need the money. We have Sundays as our family time. Tbh I would also be concerned about your dh managing to do his paperwork whilst looking after your lo, if you do go for the job is there anyway he could do his paperwork in the evenings? Good luck with your decision x

Poor dh does paper work in the evenings to, he is a teacher, I also did this before had lo and used to sit up till 10.00 pm or later every evening and did a full day at weekend. I think DH thinks it will be easy but he will usually just watch her while I have a bath so don't think he has a concept of what its really like. When I was ill the one time she didn't go to sleep till 12.30 in the evening and then just fell asleep in pure exhaustion while they watched tv, she screamed and he had a hard time with her in the car. I think he would like me to do the job for a little extra money and says why don't I see if I get it and can do a trial. However I don't like messing people about and being wishy washy and I cant help feeling that I would be missing the time that I could have with lo. I know he wouldent by mad at me if I say no as he knows I take on some baby sitting, marking and tutoring when I can which allows me to be with lo. I just hope if I say no I don't irritate him as I really appreciate he has been fine with me staying home and although there were a few arguments to start with he appreciates what I do at home. I really forgot about it as its been over 2 months since I applied and dh has taken a lot extra on at school so I don't want to effect his job by him having to do stuff at home. We are trying for baby number 2 and I had bad hyperemesis last time so if by a miracle I get pregnant again it will be difficult and then I worry am I just searching for every negative as hand on heart I don't want to be away from lo. I have had my mum going on about how I have to get LO used to being away from me. Im going to talk to dh but really don't want to miss out on our time as a family by going to do this

 

[Bex84]

Just to add thank you for all the replies and thank you for being understanding. I was expecting to be told to pull my self together and just go back to work

 

[KyaK]

If your current situation is working for you and you would be unhappy to leave LO then stay at home. Sounds like you are feeling guilty for not wanting the job, but if you don't need to then why make yourself unhappy? x

 

[Bex84]

If your current situation is working for you and you would be unhappy to leave LO then stay at home. Sounds like you are feeling guilty for not wanting the job, but if you don't need to then why make yourself unhappy? x

You have it in one, i feel guilty for not wanting to work. Up till i was 37 weeks pregnant i have always worked since when i was a teenager and even had 2 jobs when at university as well as voluntary work. I always contributed and now as my husband says i contribute but its the emotional and home stuff. I keep been told im odd as i dont want a break from lo i want to be with her all the time

 

[Redfraggle]

Life is too short. Don't go making yourself miserable. Everyone sounds happy with the current situation so don't change it just because you think you should.

 

[tallybee]

Life is too short. Don't go making yourself miserable. Everyone sounds happy with the current situation so don't change it just because you think you should.

This

 

[Bex84]

thank you so much everyone. I spoke to my lovely hubby and he told me its fine to say don't want interview. Im so lucky to have a supportive dh

 

[Mrs R]

How lovely that you want to be with your LO all the time. And just remember it will be no time at all til they're off out the door to school/nursery. Enjoy it while you can x

 

[Bex84]

How lovely that you want to be with your LO all the time. And just remember it will be no time at all til they're off out the door to school/nursery. Enjoy it while you can x

I know what you mean, she is growing up so quick, and when they start school they are so little. I taught reception and they are so young poor little poppets. My lo will only just have turned 4 when she starts school. Im lucky to have such a beautiful and perfect little girl and I just don't want to lose any time with her while I have the chance to be with her all the time. Im very lucky to have a supportive husband and that hubbie has decent paying job.

 

[charlotte-xo]

I think if you did take the job you'd end up leaving and who can blame you if your hearts not in it. Your lo will be three and at nursery before you know t and you'll have plenty of time then to find a job. I'm sure your oh would understand and more than likely if you did work he may have not gotten his paper work done as we all know how much entertaining Los take.
Xx

 

[Bex84]

I know my heart would not have been in it, and to be honest I would have felt guilty as I always want to give my all when I work

 

[Bex84]

plus dh has no clue when it comes to entertain her when you need to be getting on with something

 

[tommyg]

What is the job?

Something must have made you think about work when you applied for it. I'd be tempted to go for the interview and if you get it give it a go for 3 mths and see how you enjoy. It will be extra money for Christmas and if it's not suiting you could resign.

I couldn't handle being with DS 24/7 I need some adult time.

 

[Bex84]

it was a library job, it isn't something I would hate as I love books but think it would adversely effect dh's job as he struggles with lo when trying to do work and as main wage earner we didn't want that, he actually agreed when I spoke to him about it. Being around children doesn't bother me. I was a teacher before had lo and around children all day. The main reason I applied was we were looking for a little extra money which after I applied I was able to do through tutoring which I can do for home and dh just has to look after lo for short period. This fits in nicely with our life and I don't have to leave lo. I have had several people ask how I can go with no adult contact but actually been a sahm I see more adults as I meet up with other mums where as when I was at work I was with children all day and didn't spend that much time with other adults apart from working with ta's, short time at lunch and meetings.

 

[Nela]

Money doesn't buy time. Time invested in your family, in your little one, in your family...

Don't doubt yourself.