Non religious funeral...........?

[smelly07]

A childhood friend/ ex boyfriend (we went out for a bit when were were 15/16 ish) died recently, suddenly and unexpectedly and the age of 31

he was married with two children age 1 and 3 and he never mentioned his wishes or had a will and there were a few problems amongst the family.

It made me think that i really need to write my wishes and would likes down even though its so hard even thinking about it.

i was just wondering if there are any others out there who are not religious what are your plans?.......... i dont want to be cremated, so would like to be buried but if your not religious what happens regarding service etc??? is it still held in a church? if not where?

what other details do i need to think about?

any thoughts and help will be appreciated. xxx

 

[xcharx]

My uncle wasn't religious & my mum arranged his funeral. Instead of a service, my mum got the family & some of his friends to write down their memories of him. We did have a vicar read of the memories & 1 pray was said at the end. It was a lovely funeral (as far as funerals go) and everyone said he'd be very happy with it. He was cremated.

Cx

 

[suzib76]

I am not having any part of mine held in a church

The service rooms at the funeral directors will do me, and them up to the cremmy

 

[smelly07]

i didnt realize they have service rooms at the funeral directors .....?????.....

At our crem they have a building in which they hold the service etc so its all done in one place, and suits all really but if you have a burial there isnt anything onsite to hold a service, so i guess i'm trying to think of somewhere apart from a church where a service can be held unless its just done all at the cemetry?

 

[suzib76]

Here they have service rooms at the funeral place, and then either up to the cemetery or the crematorium. A few I have been to will have a bit said at both the service rooms and the crem/cemetary

 

[tallybee]

You can plan a Humanist funeral

https://www.humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/humanist-funerals-memorials

 

[smelly07]

Thats interesting but i believe in 'afterlife' i guess i'm whats known as spiritual but not religious x

 

[smelly07]

But very good ideas that i can use though - i guess my main issue is where to hold the service before the burial unless it can all be done at the cemetry.........?

so morbid isnt it! x

 

[tallybee]

You could just plan to have the whole thing at the cemetery. I've been to a funeral like that. No officiator or anything, just family and friends.

 

[rwhite]

I would like to be cremated, and have my funeral at a funeral home

 

[smelly07]

You could just plan to have the whole thing at the cemetery. I've been to a funeral like that. No officiator or anything, just family and friends.

yes i think that what i will do........doesnt there have to be some sort of official person there??? x

 

[tallybee]

There wasn't at the one I went to, I had nothing to do with organising it so don't know the ins and outs of what absolutely needs to happen etc.

The coffin was made of wicker (like a big basket) and was transported in a family member's own van, I know a lot of folk were surprised that that would be 'allowed' (people presumed an actual hearse would need to be hired etc).

 

[tallybee]

Just been looking about online (you got me thinking about this )

Found this page https://www.funeralinspirations.co.uk/information/DIY-Funeral.html on arranging things. Interestingly, there are less rules and regulations than you'd think

 

[smelly07]

thank you tallybee xxx

 

[smelly07]

so interesting!!! x

 

[tallybee]

so interesting!!! x

It is isn't it!

Xx

 

[indy and lara]

We had non- religious funerals for my Mum and our boy.

My Mum had planned her own funeral. All 3 of us (Me, Mum and Dad) chose a significant piece of music which was played during the service. My Dad read a poem, I did a speech and a family friend spoke about her. There was no minister present and the funeral director helped us to organise. Mum was created. There were about 150 people at the funeral.

With our boy we did something similar. We had chosen music which menat something to DH and I. We both spoke and both read a poem.

Dh and I would only have non- religious funerals are we are not religious or spiritual. When my dad dies he too would want this type of funeral.

 

[lhancock90]

I've been to a non religious ceremony.
Held in the crem.
Just readings, music etc.
No religion.

x

 

[MissRhead]

My grand parents where both burried and a service held a the crem. We had a family friend who is some high up member of the local church do the service, we didnt have any prayers or anything he just went through their lives and some funny storys about their younger years ect. my grandad had songs like danny boy as he used to sing it to my nan all the time! My nan had songs like all things bright and beautiful. My cousin made a speach at the graveside and they where both just lowered down. We went and had a meal with everyone afterwards at like a chain resturaunt x

 

[jenfirstbaby]

i'm not religious, i was raised catholic but don't believe any of it now.

i havent even thought about what i'd have, but when my granda died a few years ago he had a huminist ceremony and it was in the crematorium (sp?)

Its the only funeral ive ever been to but i think it'd be better. It's so personal. the woman spoke about my granda loads instead of all this 'what god wants' stuff. i've been to a few weddings/christenings with all the religious stuff and i'd defo want something more personal. no idea what happens about being buried., x