Not Exciting Anymore :-(

[Taurus8484]

Myself and another TTC'er on this site starting talking this and I was wondering on other people's feelings.

When I first came off birth control, I was so excited so start trying for a baby. I had never been pregnant before and although I knew being at an older age that pregnancy may take awhile but couldnt wait to start my family with my husband.

However, 9 months and 1 miscarriage later, I know longer am enjoying the whole TTC. Ive been through every emotion I can think of on this roller coaster ride, been angry, sad, desvasted, happy when I got my BFP, jealous when I lost the baby and see pregnant women everywhere and everything in between. Having to BDing when ovulation time is here whether you feel like it or not, the dreaded 2ww, symptom spotting, the strain it has put on my marriage to start a family and the horror of miscarriage, not sure how much emotionally I can do this anymore.

Anyone else feel the same??? Where is the excitement I felt at the beginning

 

[readyformore]

Excitement left the building for me at about cycle 9 as well. Now ttc just brings with it heartbreak and way too many negative feelings to even list. At the beginning of ttc I think it is exciting simply because we all assume we will get our baby. Its when we start to struggle and our eyes get opened to the fact that we might not get a baby out of all this, that's when we realize it sucks.

No ttc is not exciting for me. Its currently like a job that I really hate but can't get rid of.

 

[Briss]

I do not remember the last time I felt excited about TTC, it's like full-time job for me with so much stress and crying and so many arguments with my DH as to who's fault it is. I am exhausted. my entire life is on hold, I have no interests left beside TTC (which takes all my time) and I cant give up. I know some say you just need to relax and forget about it and it will happen. Well, that's what I did during our first year of trying, it was pleasure, no stress and no BFP. clearly "relax" does not work for me. On the other hand I got pregnant 11 years ago without trying and it happened just after two months on the peak of my romantic affair (not with my DH) when i was unbelievably happy. I just do not know now how to be that happy again

 

[Hope3]

I've been feeling exactly the same way. Been TTC for 9 months. Pregnant 1st time then miscarried at 5 weeks.

I too feel like my life is on hold & I've been really depressed about it. I'm in a job I hate instead of doing what I've been trained in because I didn't want to be in a stressful job that would affect conception & future pregnancy health. Only now there's no sign of pregnancy just a soul destroying job.

My hormone tests have come back ok but my partner has to wait until August for his sperm analysis.

 

[CaliDreaming]

I have always stressed out about TTC so I have never really been too excited over it. I will be glad when my family is complete and can throw out all the OPKs, HPTs, and BBTs for good!

 

[Taurus8484]

Its nice to know Im not the only feeling this way then.......yep it seems to have taken control of my life TTC. I thought it was just me I feel so emotionally drained right now and I would love to take a break from TTC but at 38 and trying for #1 I feel like I cant afford too. Especially as its been 2 cycles since my miscarriage and my body and hormones still havent corrected themselves......having a baby is suppose to be one of the happiest days of your life, but geez its a hard road getting there

 

[PositiveUs]

I feel EXACTLY the same.
EXACTLY.

 

[KBrain3377]

Same here - we've been ttc for about 18 months, with one pregnancy and miscarriage at 6 weeks, and I can't remember the last time I was excited about having to bd. My husband is wonderful so it really hasn't taken a toll on our marriage, we still laugh, travel and do the same things we've always done, but I do feel like I'm in a constant waiting cycle: waiting for CD1, waiting for ov, waiting during tww, UGH! I'm also in a job that would allow me to work part-time once we actually have a baby, but it's not what I want to be doing long-term and I could be doing much more. Sometimes when I'm down thought, I try to look in the bright side, and as cheesy as it sounds, appreciate my marriage, my family, our home, and the fact that living in the States I have access to the best fertility treatments, even if they do cost and arm and a leg. At least we have options, whereas many people in this world don't. Sometimes this makes me feel better, but other times nothing short of a bottle of wine, or two, will do. Ok, three, whatever.

 

[wana b a mom]

Hello ladies!

I came across this thread. I hear what you are saying. I'm in the same boat and completely understand your frustration. I've been there, felt the same, cried, had fights with DH, felt sad, got sick of taking temperature, CBFM, OPKs, not excited, BFN, MC etc... it can make us crazy.

My advise would be, if you know something is not right (you are not getting pregnant or you are MC), go and see a doctor and get things rolling ASAP. Time for all of us is going fast, and we are not getting any younger, right? so, if you haven't done so, go ahead and talk to your doctor and do all the blood tests, HSG, sperm tests, etc. If you are talking to a doctor who is not giving you answers, get a referral to see a FS, or ask for more tests. All this tests take time and the sooner you take control, the better. I have been TTC for over 2 years and I started doing all the tests last August... I am still TTC going through IVF right now and hoping that this would be it for us.

Hang in there! Don't lose hope, and keep fighting for your future babies. Lost of baby dust to us all

 

[popchick75]

Excitement left when reality settled in.

My life runs like this:
Period
Waiting for the egg
Sex Sex Sex
Crazy person testing for 2 weeks
Disappointment
Repeat

 

[Taurus8484]

Just got back from Doctors. She has referred me to Fertility Clinic as there is nothing more she can do for me. Have first appointment on 8th August. Another chapter begins..........

 

[pdmcd17]

I find ttc a job like others
But found it less stressful once I stop charting and tracking- but still bd around that fertile window

It's still hard to not symptom spot and get your hopes up in the 2ww

I'm also getting close to the end of my ttc journey so accepting the idea that doh and me will never have a child together.

 

[PositiveUs]

Same here - we've been ttc for about 18 months, with one pregnancy and miscarriage at 6 weeks, and I can't remember the last time I was excited about having to bd. My husband is wonderful so it really hasn't taken a toll on our marriage, we still laugh, travel and do the same things we've always done, but I do feel like I'm in a constant waiting cycle: waiting for CD1, waiting for ov, waiting during tww, UGH! I'm also in a job that would allow me to work part-time once we actually have a baby, but it's not what I want to be doing long-term and I could be doing much more. Sometimes when I'm down thought, I try to look in the bright side, and as cheesy as it sounds, appreciate my marriage, my family, our home, and the fact that living in the States I have access to the best fertility treatments, even if they do cost and arm and a leg. At least we have options, whereas many people in this world don't. Sometimes this makes me feel better, but other times nothing short of a bottle of wine, or two, will do. Ok, three, whatever.

OMG. I feel the same. ALWAYS WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waiting for AF, waiting for O, the 2ww, waiting for the next US or whatever test you get next, waiting for ER or ET, waiting to find out how many eggs they got, waiting to find out how many fertilized, waiting to find out how many cells they are or what grade they are, waiting for your blood test results!

Even if I am lucky enough to get pregnant, then it will be waiting for the next beta to double, waiting for the ultrasound to see the sac, waiting to see if there's a heart beat, waiting and hoping to make it at least to the 12th week and even then there's no guarantee it will last.

And believe me, patience is not a strong point for me AT ALL!!!!!

 

[PositiveUs]

Just got back from Doctors. She has referred me to Fertility Clinic as there is nothing more she can do for me. Have first appointment on 8th August. Another chapter begins..........

I'm glad you will see a fertility specialist. It's better to be informed than be in the dark.

 

[threebirds]

Me tooo it can all be a bit miserable at times. Right now im just hoping ive actually ov'd & will see a temp rise in the morning.

x

 

[Taurus8484]

Same here - we've been ttc for about 18 months, with one pregnancy and miscarriage at 6 weeks, and I can't remember the last time I was excited about having to bd. My husband is wonderful so it really hasn't taken a toll on our marriage, we still laugh, travel and do the same things we've always done, but I do feel like I'm in a constant waiting cycle: waiting for CD1, waiting for ov, waiting during tww, UGH! I'm also in a job that would allow me to work part-time once we actually have a baby, but it's not what I want to be doing long-term and I could be doing much more. Sometimes when I'm down thought, I try to look in the bright side, and as cheesy as it sounds, appreciate my marriage, my family, our home, and the fact that living in the States I have access to the best fertility treatments, even if they do cost and arm and a leg. At least we have options, whereas many people in this world don't. Sometimes this makes me feel better, but other times nothing short of a bottle of wine, or two, will do. Ok, three, whatever.

OMG. I feel the same. ALWAYS WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waiting for AF, waiting for O, the 2ww, waiting for the next US or whatever test you get next, waiting for ER or ET, waiting to find out how many eggs they got, waiting to find out how many fertilized, waiting to find out how many cells they are or what grade they are, waiting for your blood test results!

Even if I am lucky enough to get pregnant, then it will be waiting for the next beta to double, waiting for the ultrasound to see the sac, waiting to see if there's a heart beat, waiting and hoping to make it at least to the 12th week and even then there's no guarantee it will last.

And believe me, patience is not a strong point for me AT ALL!!!!!

I could have written this........ exactly what I feel, waiting waiting waiting.

 

[Hopin&Prayin]

I feel the same,as well, I feel like its a chore or job. Ive been trying on and off for a year and a half, the last two months have been so stressful, emotional to the finger pointing why I m not getting my BFP. From every hopeful early pregnancy symptom, cervix checking, cm changes, every twinge or niggle, from cramps to shooting pain to end up starting AF! Ive cried and blamed my OH to wondering Why not Me. Its so hard to see pregnant women, yet I tell myself someday that will be me and smile at them and say You“ve been so blessed. .. Im not young anymore and I never thought TTC would be so hard!! Its hard not to stress and when you need help or some input I cant seem to get that either I try to stay positive but maybe its just too late for Me

I wish there WAS some magic baby dust So We ALL become pregnant.. Im not ready to have my heartbreak when the witch arrives... Wishing Everyone the Best!! Our BFP is coming!!

 

[Hopin&Prayin]

Same here - we've been ttc for about 18 months, with one pregnancy and miscarriage at 6 weeks, and I can't remember the last time I was excited about having to bd. My husband is wonderful so it really hasn't taken a toll on our marriage, we still laugh, travel and do the same things we've always done, but I do feel like I'm in a constant waiting cycle: waiting for CD1, waiting for ov, waiting during tww, UGH! I'm also in a job that would allow me to work part-time once we actually have a baby, but it's not what I want to be doing long-term and I could be doing much more. Sometimes when I'm down thought, I try to look in the bright side, and as cheesy as it sounds, appreciate my marriage, my family, our home, and the fact that living in the States I have access to the best fertility treatments, even if they do cost and arm and a leg. At least we have options, whereas many people in this world don't. Sometimes this makes me feel better, but other times nothing short of a bottle of wine, or two, will do. Ok, three, whatever.

OMG. I feel the same. ALWAYS WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waiting for AF, waiting for O, the 2ww, waiting for the next US or whatever test you get next, waiting for ER or ET, waiting to find out how many eggs they got, waiting to find out how many fertilized, waiting to find out how many cells they are or what grade they are, waiting for your blood test results!

Even if I am lucky enough to get pregnant, then it will be waiting for the next beta to double, waiting for the ultrasound to see the sac, waiting to see if there's a heart beat, waiting and hoping to make it at least to the 12th week and even then there's no guarantee it will last.

And believe me, patience is not a strong point for me AT ALL!!!!!

I could have written this........ exactly what I feel, waiting waiting waiting.

Bingo!! Your 100% Right!! IM done waiting! When is it going to be my turn!! Ohhh I get sooo tired of everyone telling me not to get pregnant because of my age, and I would be High Risk.. I know that but I want my last chance, my miracle baby. I wait for the days to feel my baby inside me, my first ultrasound, to hear my baby cry at birth.. I have dreamed about having a baby since I was a lil girl... I just hope & pray its Not too late...
Sorry, this has me emotional... Im beyond ready...

 

[Hopin&Prayin]

Same here - we've been ttc for about 18 months, with one pregnancy and miscarriage at 6 weeks, and I can't remember the last time I was excited about having to bd. My husband is wonderful so it really hasn't taken a toll on our marriage, we still laugh, travel and do the same things we've always done, but I do feel like I'm in a constant waiting cycle: waiting for CD1, waiting for ov, waiting during tww, UGH! I'm also in a job that would allow me to work part-time once we actually have a baby, but it's not what I want to be doing long-term and I could be doing much more. Sometimes when I'm down thought, I try to look in the bright side, and as cheesy as it sounds, appreciate my marriage, my family, our home, and the fact that living in the States I have access to the best fertility treatments, even if they do cost and arm and a leg. At least we have options, whereas many people in this world don't. Sometimes this makes me feel better, but other times nothing short of a bottle of wine, or two, will do. Ok, three, whatever.

OMG. I feel the same. ALWAYS WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waiting for AF, waiting for O, the 2ww, waiting for the next US or whatever test you get next, waiting for ER or ET, waiting to find out how many eggs they got, waiting to find out how many fertilized, waiting to find out how many cells they are or what grade they are, waiting for your blood test results!

Even if I am lucky enough to get pregnant, then it will be waiting for the next beta to double, waiting for the ultrasound to see the sac, waiting to see if there's a heart beat, waiting and hoping to make it at least to the 12th week and even then there's no guarantee it will last.

And believe me, patience is not a strong point for me AT ALL!!!!!

I could have written this........ exactly what I feel, waiting waiting waiting.

Bingo!! Your 100% Right!! I get sooo tired of everyone telling me not to get pregnant because of my age, and I would be High Risk.. I know that but I want my last chance, my miracle baby. I wait for the days to feel my baby inside me, my first ultrasound, to hear my baby cry at birth.. I have dreamed about having a baby since I was a lil girl... I just hope & pray its Not too late...
Sorry, this has me emotional... Im beyond ready...

 

[pdmcd17]

hoping and praying
i agree but those people telling you its high risk it is bs. how many of our grandparents had babies in there 40's they were healthy not high risk

its just our parents and our generations who dont normally have later babies
granted the average age for first baby is now 31- dr's and society ideas need to catch up with the reality