Oh just said he might not want second

[Flip flop]

Luckybug I think you are right, I think he just can't see clearly at the moment because he hates his job so much. But at the same time
He isn't doing much about it, I keep offering to help with his cv but he never does it.

 

[Luckybug]

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with everything I don't do anything. Maybe he's just at that point? Where'd he'd rather just throw his hands up about it all. Give him some time, but leave the bc up to him! He's the one that doesn't want a baby, not you. If he doesn't want one he'll take the necessary steps to prevent it, especially if he knows how you feel about it.

 

[Flip flop]

I think that's what's happening he just wants to forget about work when he's not there. Maybe I need to sit down with him and we can do it together.

I'm at the dr At the moment mainly because I need my prescription but also because my head has been sore all weekend and I just feel really sad all the time. I've not gone to work because of it.

But yet I did offer to go back on the pill and he didn't jump at the chance so that was a good sign

 

[ChiiBaby]

Chibaby, I meant to say that must be hard if u think he doesn't really want it, he mustn't mind that much though or he wouldn't have give in?

I know that's what i keep saying to myself, but every time i ask him about it he just says "yeah whatever you want." Men are so confusing!


I also can understand the stress of jobs my OH comes home swearing his head off about work all the time, saying he wants a new job. Then he says oh but i cant get a new job can i? Because i don't drive! (like its my fault!)

 

[Flip flop]

I wish my DH would do whatever I wanted too, although I guess that's a bit selfish for me to say that. I found that when he was just going with it at first he would
Avoid coming to bed with me (probably so we didn't Dtd's). Does anything happen like that with you Chiibaby (if u don't mind me asking).

 

[ChiiBaby]

I wish my DH would do whatever I wanted too, although I guess that's a bit selfish for me to say that. I found that when he was just going with it at first he would
Avoid coming to bed with me (probably so we didn't Dtd's). Does anything happen like that with you Chiibaby (if u don't mind me asking).

Of course i don't mind you asking
Sometimes he'll say "I've just got to do something online ill be up later" Other times when he does come bed with me and i want to Dtd he just turns over and says he has work tomorrow and he is tired.

He says he'll do anything for me to make me happy, but it doesn't make me happy i want him to do things that make him happy!

 

[Flip flop]

I know what that's like Chiibaby, my DH was like that too. It's was really frustrating, especially when I knew I was ovulating. I guess you probably will get lucky eventually as long as he doesn't change his mind!

I don't know how to shake off this feeling of sadness I've got

 

[ChiiBaby]

All you can think of is you will have kids but not just yet i know it can be hard

 

[Tink1o5]

Sending tons of to both you ladies.

Its got to be touch either way. On one side your OH says he just doesnt want kids right now... then on the other side he says "whatever you want" which really translates to its not what i want, but it is what you want...so whatever.

Definitely a hard situation especially when it comes to having babies. Ideally you would want everyone happy and all on the same page.

 

[Lara+sam+bump]

Hiya been following your story flip flop. Me and my OH of 6 years are ttc number 3. My eldest was an opps, I was 18, he was 21 and we weren't very careful lol. I always wanted more children, but he was never really into the idea. But i'm an only child and I always swore I would never have an only child as it is so lonely. So I said I would leave if he wasn't prepared to have anymore. He changed his mind and my youngest was conceived 6 months later. I would have loved a third, but I knew that OH didn't want anymore, so was resigned to not having anymore. I was on the mini pill after having my son and we had another opps when he was 11 months. Sadly I lost that baby at 9 weeks but after that I was a bit of a mess, could barely function as all I could think about were pregnancy and babies, I stopped going out and stopped watching tv or using facebook. My OH knew I needed another baby. I agreed to wait till June, after our holiday. Even though I had to wait it helped immensely as I knew I had something to look forward to. Its still been hard and now we are ttc, its our 4th month (10dpo today) its probably harder as I just want it to happen NOW!!!!!!!! Your opinion matters to and hopefully once your hubby is less stressed he'll realize how important another baby is to you! xxxxx

 

[Flip flop]

Tink, I wish we were both on the same page, I think men just see babies in a whole different day to women unfortunately.

Thanks for sharing your story Lara, And sorry about the loss you experienced.

Last night we had a mini chat about it again (after dtd and him pulling out) and I said I'm ok with waiting as long I know it will happen in the future and he agreed. So I feel a bit better about everything as I know it will happen at some point I just need to wait.

We talked about the pill and he said it's up to me if I want to go back on it, I said obviously I didn't but what's the alternative? I said we could continue using our current method but he said that's a bit risky. I said I didn't mind the risks obviously. Anyway we didn't really reach a decision about that in the end so not sure what to do.

 

[Tink1o5]

I definitely agree Men just view babies differently than Women.

As far as alternative you can have him use condoms? Then you dont have to go through the hormonal mess of the pill again, or if he will agree to continue the "pull out method" that could be another route.

I hope you get to come to some kind of arrangement though for both your sakes.

 

[Flip flop]

I don't think we would use condoms as a couple, not sure why exactly think we just both don't like them.

Well it was left undecided so my thinking is I'll just not mention it again and see if he says anything more about it. I'm happy to keep using the pull out method and id be happy if there was an oops. But part of me thinks that I'm not really keeping my end of the deal with that.

 

[bobster]

Hi everyone. I've read through a bit of this thread and can relate so I hope you don't mind if I join you.

We have a ds who is 1 and the plan was always to aim for a 2 year gap. I am ready to ttc now and feeling very broody. It took us a year to get ds so I have anxieties around it taking ages again too. Now my OH says he's not ready yet and think we should try next august instead. Last weekend though he got drunk and asked when we were ttc again and I joked that I thought he said April. He said great and then he said maybe we should just get cracking now! I was surprised and happy but now he keeps avoiding dtd! I have just ovulated so missed it this month but hoping to ttc next month. I mentioned it and he just laughed it off and said no we're not ttc yet. I feel a bit confused as to what he wants now. Ds is going through a wingy stage too(teething and constant colds from nursery) so maybe that's putting him off? Argh men are so confusing sometimes!

I do to want to nag him into something he doesn't want to do but at the same time worry he'll never be ready! I really want dis to be close in age to his sibling. I hope for a happy accident too at some point although we used withdrawal for years with no pregnancy. I would love to avoid the ttc stress of last time.

 

[Flip flop]

Hi bobster, of course you can join in, the more the merrier!

That is a confusing situation to be in! Do you think he just said that because he was drunk and now he doesn't remember? I think you need to ask him again if he meant it.

It took us a year to conceive our first too and I worry it will take that long again too.

I don't think I will go back on the pill you know, think I'll just see how it goes And hope for a happy accident, I'm not doing anything wrong by that!

 

[bobster]

Thanks flip flop. No I don't think there's anything wrong with that either if your oh knows you're not on the pill. Fingers crossed for a happy accident for both of us! Condoms are crap but my oh doesn't mind using them unfortunately

 

[Tink1o5]

Flip flop- no your definitely not doing anything wrong with hoping for an oops, or staying off the pill.

Bobster- they say drunk people are the most honest people. So maybe he really does want to try for another but something is putting him off right now?

 

[Flip flop]

I did some research and I think there's about a 20% chance of a happy accident using pull out method! I don't think my chances are even that high though as I'm not one of these people who gets pregnant at the drop of a hat.

I'm glad I'm not the only one having these problems

 

[Flip flop]

Are any of you still on babyandbump? I just wanted to give a quick update. At new year, DH finally agrees to have another!

The only think is he was very drunk at the time. It hasn't been mentioned since and I'm afraid to bring it up incase he doesn't mean it.

How should In broach the subject again?

 

[Fascination]

Hopefully he did mean what he said, drunk or otherwise, but it would be better to know either way, instead of constantly wondering. You don't want to build your hopes on a drunken statement that he retracts a few weeks down the line, when you've really started to get excited for another baby. So, yeah, I would just say, "Hey, you know at New Year, when you mentioned being ready for another baby, is that still something we're going ahead with this year?" and see what he says. He might've meant trying now, he might've meant trying "at some point" in the year, but it's better to get it all out in the open now, so you can really start to make plans ^^ best of luck! X