OH performance anxiety - 6 BFPs so far!!!!

[kelly1973]

yeah i know that but to be fair with ms and dog tired im really not up to it at the min,he understands.

hope your all ok sara any symptons

 

[Katherine1209]

Is a cbfm a digital OPK?

Yep - it measures both estrogen and LH, as well as using info from previous cycles to tell you the best time to DTD.

Oh, and the has turned up so I am onto another (my 7th) cycle of TTC...

Sorry to hear that Viccat! Damn sending you

 

[Katherine1209]

OH and I talked this evening about TTC and the fact that we've done 6 months. We have agreed to try naturally for another 3 months. I am hoping that having these honest conversations will help him understand the importance of more BDing!

Ive been having similar conversations with my OH and this cycle we DTD twice, cd12 and 14 That is good for us.... I hope that's enough

 

[viccat]

Ive been having similar conversations with my OH and this cycle we DTD twice, cd12 and 14 That is good for us.... I hope that's enough

Yup - twice in the "window" I would consider a good month too! Fingers crossed Katherine for your BFP.

 

[kelly1973]

yeh fingers crossed kath x

 

[SaraJewel]

OH and I talked this evening about TTC and the fact that we've done 6 months. We have agreed to try naturally for another 3 months. I am hoping that having these honest conversations will help him understand the importance of more BDing!

Ive been having similar conversations with my OH and this cycle we DTD twice, cd12 and 14 That is good for us.... I hope that's enough

That is a good month, same as me last month, then CD 17 which I think was too late (reckon O was CD16).

Kelly, funny you were asking about symptoms because I know they don't mean anything, but was starting to wonder.... So looked back to last month's when I had a bit of a rant, and they were: Nausea, loose bowels (sorry TMI!), "soapy" taste in mouth, sore boobs (kinda burny) and last few days nipples too, and indigestion.

This month I have occasional nausea, light-headed, funny taste in mouth, sore boobs (kinda burny but this time shooting pains too) and last few days nipples too. Not feeling PMT now which is normal for me just before period, actually feeling quite chilled out (although start to get stressed when go to toilet in case get nasty surprise!). I think my "symptoms" are PMT. I am CD 29 today, cycle usually 30 days plus last 2 months so early days yet. I reckon AF will come tomorrow or Sat.

It's horrible playing the waiting game, so my mantra for this months is "I coped last month so I will be fine this month if I get AF" and that seems to make me feel better!

Kelly and HP you have given me hope!

How's everyone else? I see Green has disappeared off the scene again??!! Green are you there???

SJ

 

[Katherine1209]

OH and I talked this evening about TTC and the fact that we've done 6 months. We have agreed to try naturally for another 3 months. I am hoping that having these honest conversations will help him understand the importance of more BDing!

Ive been having similar conversations with my OH and this cycle we DTD twice, cd12 and 14 That is good for us.... I hope that's enough

That is a good month, same as me last month, then CD 17 which I think was too late (reckon O was CD16).

Kelly, funny you were asking about symptoms because I know they don't mean anything, but was starting to wonder.... So looked back to last month's when I had a bit of a rant, and they were: Nausea, loose bowels (sorry TMI!), "soapy" taste in mouth, sore boobs (kinda burny) and last few days nipples too, and indigestion.

This month I have occasional nausea, light-headed, funny taste in mouth, sore boobs (kinda burny but this time shooting pains too) and last few days nipples too. Not feeling PMT now which is normal for me just before period, actually feeling quite chilled out (although start to get stressed when go to toilet in case get nasty surprise!). I think my "symptoms" are PMT. I am CD 29 today, cycle usually 30 days plus last 2 months so early days yet. I reckon AF will come tomorrow or Sat.

It's horrible playing the waiting game, so my mantra for this months is "I coped last month so I will be fine this month if I get AF" and that seems to make me feel better!

Kelly and HP you have given me hope!

How's everyone else? I see Green has disappeared off the scene again??!! Green are you there???

SJ

Yay for good months, I say
The beginning of the tww for me...just might use your mantra Sara
Along with my '90% of us will get BFPs within 9 months'...

 

[kelly1973]

we need some more bfp oh and i need a bump buddie x

 

[Katherine1209]

we need some more bfp oh and i need a bump buddie x

I sure hope so Kelly ....wishing lots of BFPs so we can all join you

 

[greenjelly]

Here I am Sara! Im sorry for having gone AWOL. Im so up and down about the whole baby thing, I kind of got fed up with thinking about "Am I, arent I"? It seems we BD'd at the right time this month but I didnt get a positive OPK (only used the cheapy sticks which have never really given me a positive.) And then my CM seems to have been all over the place each day so no helpful signs there. Had a really short cycle last month so not really sure what to expect this month. Too many variables! Dont feel pregnant in any way really except an odd pain in my right hip and side for about 30 mins yesterday morning. I wondered if that might be a sign of implantation but boobs not tender AT ALL despite me pressing them quite hard to check!

And work has been quite stressful recently, we are buying a new house so although I think that has actually been pretty smooth, it is still on my mind a lot. I probably drink wine too often (I did last night for instance despite my plans that I would stick to soft drinks) which makes me wonder about my dedication to the project. It will be about #12 of TTC for us too after this month which seems a long long time. Is a baby something I just have to accept might not happen? OH going for a sperm test next week (convuluted process and he is worried about having to get 'it' in a pot to a time and then drive the sample 40 mins to the hospital all within an hour!) and then I guess, if he passes, its back to me and maybe looking at my tubes.
Sorry, Ive opened the flood gates! Sara, any news on the ? Kelly, how are you feeling? Viccat, still relaxed?
Apols again. I will try to keep more in touch. I have been lurking but not joining in. Which is bad. sorry.
xxxx

 

[greenjelly]

we need some more bfp oh and i need a bump buddie x

I sure hope so Kelly ....wishing lots of BFPs so we can all join you

Sorry Katherine, I left you off my message. How you doing? (to quote Joey Tribbiani)

 

[Katherine1209]

we need some more bfp oh and i need a bump buddie x

I sure hope so Kelly ....wishing lots of BFPs so we can all join you

Sorry Katherine, I left you off my message. How you doing? (to quote Joey Tribbiani)

Here I am Sara! Im sorry for having gone AWOL. Im so up and down about the whole baby thing, I kind of got fed up with thinking about "Am I, arent I"? It seems we BD'd at the right time this month but I didnt get a positive OPK (only used the cheapy sticks which have never really given me a positive.) And then my CM seems to have been all over the place each day so no helpful signs there. Had a really short cycle last month so not really sure what to expect this month. Too many variables! Dont feel pregnant in any way really except an odd pain in my right hip and side for about 30 mins yesterday morning. I wondered if that might be a sign of implantation but boobs not tender AT ALL despite me pressing them quite hard to check!

And work has been quite stressful recently, we are buying a new house so although I think that has actually been pretty smooth, it is still on my mind a lot. I probably drink wine too often (I did last night for instance despite my plans that I would stick to soft drinks) which makes me wonder about my dedication to the project. It will be about #12 of TTC for us too after this month which seems a long long time. Is a baby something I just have to accept might not happen? OH going for a sperm test next week (convuluted process and he is worried about having to get 'it' in a pot to a time and then drive the sample 40 mins to the hospital all within an hour!) and then I guess, if he passes, its back to me and maybe looking at my tubes.
Sorry, Ive opened the flood gates! Sara, any news on the ? Kelly, how are you feeling? Viccat, still relaxed?
Apols again. I will try to keep more in touch. I have been lurking but not joining in. Which is bad. sorry.
xxxx

Hi Green! I'm ok and can totally understand where your coming from...I would say not to give up hope....just see what happens...
I know it's frustrating and heartbreaking but it will be worth it...
Don't feel pressured about us and the forum one bit, we will be here whenever you need us xx

As for me, I'm in the tww ATM, cd 16, don't feel any symptoms but did have some weird sharp pains in my right side yesterday

 

[SaraJewel]

Here I am Sara! Im sorry for having gone AWOL. Im so up and down about the whole baby thing, I kind of got fed up with thinking about "Am I, arent I"? It seems we BD'd at the right time this month but I didnt get a positive OPK (only used the cheapy sticks which have never really given me a positive.) And then my CM seems to have been all over the place each day so no helpful signs there. Had a really short cycle last month so not really sure what to expect this month. Too many variables! Dont feel pregnant in any way really except an odd pain in my right hip and side for about 30 mins yesterday morning. I wondered if that might be a sign of implantation but boobs not tender AT ALL despite me pressing them quite hard to check!

And work has been quite stressful recently, we are buying a new house so although I think that has actually been pretty smooth, it is still on my mind a lot. I probably drink wine too often (I did last night for instance despite my plans that I would stick to soft drinks) which makes me wonder about my dedication to the project. It will be about #12 of TTC for us too after this month which seems a long long time. Is a baby something I just have to accept might not happen? OH going for a sperm test next week (convuluted process and he is worried about having to get 'it' in a pot to a time and then drive the sample 40 mins to the hospital all within an hour!) and then I guess, if he passes, its back to me and maybe looking at my tubes.
Sorry, Ive opened the flood gates! Sara, any news on the ? Kelly, how are you feeling? Viccat, still relaxed?
Apols again. I will try to keep more in touch. I have been lurking but not joining in. Which is bad. sorry.
xxxx

I'm glad you "opened the flood gates". A lot of what you said is very familiar. AF is just starting with me, got quite upset about it in front of OH, he said it was early days which I understand - even tho it's been nearly a year, it's only been the past few months when we've had regular sex successfully anywhere near the fertile period! I just hope getting upset in front of him won't trigger performance anxiety again. In any case we will be apart during the fertile period this month so no pressure. Maybe will do me good to have a month off.

I drink wine too often too. It is part of my lifestyle! But I know what you mean - if I was really dedicated I would go tee total. I too am wondering if not having a baby is something I need to accept too. I know everyone says you have to stay positive, but it's hard to put a lot of time and effort into something and keep failing over and over again. Maybe a combination of being positive and realistic at the same time?

Good like with OH test. We haven't gone for any tests yet, and haven't even discussed it as I think the Dr would say we need to have a good 6 months of proper trying (we've only had 3 I would say). If we have no joy in a few months I think that will be the next step for me and I will see what the doc says.

As for the OPKs, I do wonder how reliable they are.......... but that's cos I've not had much success with them. I hope they are unreliable in my case rather than showing that I'm not ovulating.

And finally, if you find taking part on here too much, feel free to lurk. Most times I find this forum REALLY supportive, but at other times it just fuels my obsessions so not a good idea at times.

It is good to hear from you. Let us know how OH gets on if you would like to share, if not, feel free to lurk!

SJ

 

[Katherine1209]

 

[greenjelly]

Awwww, you guys. thank you. Katherine I think I am CD21 today and I am lucky in that I have a pretty short cycle so at least I will know pretty soon either way. As I say, no symptoms so I wont be very surprised if/when AF turns up. Sara, I am so sorry to hear of your experience. Do you think your OH was surprised by how upset you were? I just think getting the timing right is so tricky. As I said, so many variables - they say day 1 of period is full flow but that is quite hard to judge sometimes I find, and then knowing when ovulation is happening. If you dont use sticks that often, you could miss the surge, counting 14 days back from last period to see when ovulation might have occurred last month and hoping you hit the right time this month.
And the drinking thing, a bit of me feels if it is meant to be, it will happen whatever and what difference can a little bit of alcohol make? But then you read other posts about women giving up alcohol (and lots of other things that are vaguely fun it seems) and then recommending that as a route to pregnancy. A friend of mine stopped drinking and ate more healthily and lost loads of weight and has gone on to have twins (albeit by IVF) so she was really motivated to the cause. I ate about 7 Hobnobs and the OH and me shared a big packet of Cheesey Balls - that was our breakfast today. Not exactly healthy eating is it!!
Sara, I had a bloodtest last December and then a 'probe' about 5 months and both of those suggest I am ovulating but that doesnt necessarily mean the egg is getting through does it? The GP suggested the next thing for me is to check my tubes which I hear might not be a very pleasant experience. My OH will be 50 next year. He has had children before so his 'men' were working once upon a time but 18 years on... is everything working as it should? For him and then for me?!
Well done for your philosophical attitude Sara. Are you really ok with there being no chance for BDing next month? How open do you think your OH would be to go for tests?
Thanks again girls. Your messages touched me.

 

[viccat]

And work has been quite stressful recently, we are buying a new house so although I think that has actually been pretty smooth, it is still on my mind a lot. I probably drink wine too often (I did last night for instance despite my plans that I would stick to soft drinks) which makes me wonder about my dedication to the project. It will be about #12 of TTC for us too after this month which seems a long long time. Is a baby something I just have to accept might not happen? OH going for a sperm test next week (convuluted process and he is worried about having to get 'it' in a pot to a time and then drive the sample 40 mins to the hospital all within an hour!) and then I guess, if he passes, its back to me and maybe looking at my tubes.
Sorry, Ive opened the flood gates! Sara, any news on the ? Kelly, how are you feeling? Viccat, still relaxed?
Apols again. I will try to keep more in touch. I have been lurking but not joining in. Which is bad. sorry.
xxxx

Don't worry about joining in! I have spells when I am in the mood, and others when I just feel a bit

I wonder about the wine too, and was planning on giving up, but somehow needed a relaxing glass of red after my teetotal holiday week. It is only ever a glass (or two, if we're out for dinner) but it happens a bit too often.

I am also thinking about trying to cut down on caffeine. I keep forgetting though and putting the kettle on! So...... I've got my fruity tea bags and fresh juice ready for the weeks ahead.

Good like with OH test. We haven't gone for any tests yet, and haven't even discussed it as I think the Dr would say we need to have a good 6 months of proper trying (we've only had 3 I would say). If we have no joy in a few months I think that will be the next step for me and I will see what the doc says.

Oooo I am in the exact same position. I reckon there have only realistically been 2 or maybe 3, months when we've actually DTD anywhere near the right time. So I am giving it another 3 months and a lot of determination, CoQ10, fruity tea bags, mooncup, pestering and fail-safe lingerie.

 

[SaraJewel]

Awwww, you guys. thank you. Katherine I think I am CD21 today and I am lucky in that I have a pretty short cycle so at least I will know pretty soon either way. As I say, no symptoms so I wont be very surprised if/when AF turns up. Sara, I am so sorry to hear of your experience. Do you think your OH was surprised by how upset you were? I just think getting the timing right is so tricky. As I said, so many variables - they say day 1 of period is full flow but that is quite hard to judge sometimes I find, and then knowing when ovulation is happening. If you dont use sticks that often, you could miss the surge, counting 14 days back from last period to see when ovulation might have occurred last month and hoping you hit the right time this month.
And the drinking thing, a bit of me feels if it is meant to be, it will happen whatever and what difference can a little bit of alcohol make? But then you read other posts about women giving up alcohol (and lots of other things that are vaguely fun it seems) and then recommending that as a route to pregnancy. A friend of mine stopped drinking and ate more healthily and lost loads of weight and has gone on to have twins (albeit by IVF) so she was really motivated to the cause. I ate about 7 Hobnobs and the OH and me shared a big packet of Cheesey Balls - that was our breakfast today. Not exactly healthy eating is it!!
Sara, I had a bloodtest last December and then a 'probe' about 5 months and both of those suggest I am ovulating but that doesnt necessarily mean the egg is getting through does it? The GP suggested the next thing for me is to check my tubes which I hear might not be a very pleasant experience. My OH will be 50 next year. He has had children before so his 'men' were working once upon a time but 18 years on... is everything working as it should? For him and then for me?!
Well done for your philosophical attitude Sara. Are you really ok with there being no chance for BDing next month? How open do you think your OH would be to go for tests?
Thanks again girls. Your messages touched me.

Hey, I don't know if he was surprised or not but I think it took him a bit off guard. I know what you mean about deciding when is CD1. I usually have a few days of spotting before AF so count CD1 as when need to use tampon if that helps.

Your breakfast made me laugh! Sounds yummy.

A couple of my friends have had tubes checked, and I think it wasn't their favourite thing but not the worst thing ever either.

As for no BD-ing chance next month, I think it will do me good to have a month off. I know it's another month gone by, but today I feel so worn down by it all I think it's a blessing. I don't know how OH would be apart from totally terrified of the results. How about yours? Is he OK with it? I don't even know if mine would agree to it, but then what is the point of going at it all the time when you might not even be in the mood, when there is no chance of conception???? I think it's better to know, then we would be able to get on with our lives and stop dwelling on the whole thing (sounds easy when you say it like that, but would be awful).

Like I say, feeling a bit worn down but sure will perk up soon. Thought of work tomorrow is quite horrendous but sure will keep my mind off things.

SJ x

 

[greenjelly]

Im a Mooncup girl these days so I pop it in as soon as I think AF is settling in. It's harder to work out when full flow kicks in!
I dont want to go to work either. Weekends fly by far too fast. I will think of you! Only 5 days and its another weekend!

Hope its not too bad.

xxxx

 

[Katherine1209]

Awwww, you guys. thank you. Katherine I think I am CD21 today and I am lucky in that I have a pretty short cycle so at least I will know pretty soon either way. As I say, no symptoms so I wont be very surprised if/when AF turns up.

And the drinking thing, a bit of me feels if it is meant to be, it will happen whatever and what difference can a little bit of alcohol make? But then you read other posts about women giving up alcohol (and lots of other things that are vaguely fun it seems) and then recommending that as a route to pregnancy. A friend of mine stopped drinking and ate more healthily and lost loads of weight and has gone on to have twins (albeit by IVF) so she was really motivated to the cause. I ate about 7 Hobnobs and the OH and me shared a big packet of Cheesey Balls - that was our breakfast today. Not exactly healthy eating is it!!

Green! I laughed as I read your breakfast menu as I munch on a bag of marshmallows

I heard that the tube 'flushing' is not bad at all, I made that term up btw as I don't remember the technical term

And part of really agrees with the 'if it's meant to happen' thing....it might sound selfish but I don't want to put all my pleasures on hold (wine, chocolate, lollies, junk food...the list goes on...Mmmmm think I am sounding a bit food crazed ....in the hope I might get pg...how long do I have do I do that, might be a long time...and I still have a life outside of ttc...it is a priority for me and OH but it's not everything...

 

[Katherine1209]

Sara and Green...I don't want to go to work either...I don't think I can bear to meet with another teen pregnant mum addicted to drugs who couldn't give two shits about her babies....or do another pregnancy test that is a BFP and they don't want to have it....hate my job today.....