OH performance anxiety - 6 BFPs so far!!!!

[greenjelly]

I have been to FF yes, because I wanted a chart at the bottom of my profile! But I couldnt get it work very well. I might have another go now...

 

[Hortensia]

I have been to FF yes, because I wanted a chart at the bottom of my profile! But I couldnt get it work very well. I might have another go now...

You usually get a free 'VIP' session with various extra features for a limited time when you sign up. You have to pay for it after about a month I think (though I've never done this). Basically all you need is a bbt thermometer - I find the digis are easy - and then you enter the temperature online and it plots your chart automatically. I quite enjoy it, but I'm a bit of a nerd

Aren't you testing soon?

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi ladies,*
I've been reading from the start of this thread for nearly a week now! I feel like I know you all already! It's so strange but true! I identify with you ALL sooooooo much & I feel much less alone in this crazy journey.*

Me & my OH have been together 17yrs, & are TTC #1. I'm 37 (38 in Dec), & he is 44 next month.*

We've had a very tumultuous last few years & almost split 18mths ago. But after some brief time apart we knew we still wanted to be together. They say wot doesn't kill you makes you stronger!! Very true! When you meet someone at a young age I think it's unavoidable that eventually you run into some problems. Luckily we made it thru in one piece : )*

So here we are.. FINALLY TTC....however, we have run into some issues! After so many years of avoiding pregnancy, OH now has trouble finishing... We always used the 'pull out' method (TMI) bcos I never wanted to take the pill. So we'd have sex, then we'd creatively finish off., a mix of him & me using good old 'mrs palmer' (if u Catch my drift!)*
So I panicked of course.. Flipped out.. Cried.. Gave OH a hard time about it... Wondered if it was my fault of if he just wasn't attracted to me... Then took a DEEP breath & started google-ing!
And I found this website & a group of amazing women who have educated me on artificial insemination using a little specimen pot & 5ml syringe.... MAGIC! And heaps of these girls have gotten BFPS too. So I know it works.*

Thankfully OH is totally up for it bcos BDing was becoming pretty stressful for us both- especially him. Im taking elevit, drinking grapefruit juice daily, taking Chinese medicine (yucky!), cut down caffeine to one tea & one coffee a day, no cola at all, I've got cheapie OPKS (which have worked in the past), & am trying (but not liking) temping...*

So am at 10dpo and should OV this week... We're driving to the snowfields today for a few days break.. A little snow baby would be lovely! Am trying to remain positive & hopeful that this can happen. I'm naturally very pessimistic.... Especially with our ages.. But trying to be hopeful...

OH made me laugh earlier..*we saw some lambs & calves on the drive & I said 'Awww spring is the time for babies! So cute!' and His reply was 'did you remember to bring the syringe???' : ) how romantic eh!! At least he thought about it!*

Wishing you all the best of luck this month, & looking forward to sharing the journey with you x

 

[viccat]

Hi Juniper! Nice to have another friendly face around the place - and so lovely of you to give us a bit of background. I feel like I know you already!

I am at CD6 and should ovulate in about a week. I've been a bit "meh" about TTC for the last week or so. I'm not quite sure why - although I've got a lot on with trying to pack up and move house. I've also been looking at wedding dresses and am quite attracted to a couple that wouldn't be able to fit a baby bump into them! (although I'd quite happily sell them on and buy something new if I do get pregnant!)

I guess I'm just becoming more aware this might not happen naturally for me

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi Juniper! Nice to have another friendly face around the place - and so lovely of you to give us a bit of background. I feel like I know you already!

I am at CD6 and should ovulate in about a week. I've been a bit "meh" about TTC for the last week or so. I'm not quite sure why - although I've got a lot on with trying to pack up and move house. I've also been looking at wedding dresses and am quite attracted to a couple that wouldn't be able to fit a baby bump into them! (although I'd quite happily sell them on and buy something new if I do get pregnant!)

I guess I'm just becoming more aware this might not happen naturally for me

Viccat, it nice to other things to distract you at times isn't it? I've been trying to keep myself busy catching up with friends, short break with OH etc. Bcos even though we've technically only just started properly TTC now, I've been desperate to have a baby for years now. So I'm doing my best.. not always successfully to keep my cool. Getting pregnant is like one of the only things left in life that you CAN'T control... Which is frustrating in today's world when we're so used to getting wot we want by either paying for it or working super hard to get it. But TTC is still a mystical journey that we can't predict...

Ive become a big believer in not putting anything off 'just incase' I fall pregnant. Bcos then you are allowing it to rule ur life & that's misery making. My friend put off studying midwifery for 2 yrs while doing IVF, then decided to just go ahead and do it, & got pregnant WHILE doing the post grad mid course. I've let that be a lesson to me. I was tossing up my holiday in November thinking 'hmmm what if I'm pregnant by then?? How will I feel etc..' but again I've decided that if it happens I'll be Sooooooo happy that I'll just put up with anything! I'm also applying to go back to Uni again next year, & I figure if I get my BFP I'll just make it work. I'm just really trying to avoid putting my life on hold. So I say buy your favourite dress!!! Enjoy the process, & if u end up pregnant u will no longer care about the dress! ; )

I'm just waiting for Ov now.. 11dpo. I've got a persona monitor which is telling me I'm in my fertile time, but have run out of the bloody sticks & am waiting for more to arrive in the mail. I've got Internet cheapies as well which have worked really well in the past so am using them as well. My AF arrived early this month and was shorter than normal too- so am feeling a bit stressed about whether my cycles are screwing up. It's never ever happened before, I also had some strange spotting I've never had before AF. Am temping too, But not very well! It's all over the place. every now & then I panic about early menopause!!! For no other reason than knowing I've left this TCC late!

Think I'll do OPKS twice a day & go with that...

 

[Katherine1209]

Hi juniper! I'm enduring a long tww...due on 12th September, which is my 40th birthday! I'm hopeful I might get a wonderful birthday present but realistic that I have no symptoms whatsoever...
I agree that we should go ahead with life and make decisions about the future when they come along...sometimes it's easier said than done though...and i must admit I do get quite sad and disappointed when af comes

When weve tried using the syringe etc I always seem to have trouble getting the into the container though...lol...it must look so comical watching me trying 'catch it all'.. Now we have a system where he can help finish and then quickly 'get in there' ...tmi...just at the end...whatever works I reacon

 

[viccat]

Ive become a big believer in not putting anything off 'just incase' I fall pregnant. Bcos then you are allowing it to rule ur life & that's misery making. My friend put off studying midwifery for 2 yrs while doing IVF, then decided to just go ahead and do it, & got pregnant WHILE doing the post grad mid course. I've let that be a lesson to me. I was tossing up my holiday in November thinking 'hmmm what if I'm pregnant by then?? How will I feel etc..' but again I've decided that if it happens I'll be Sooooooo happy that I'll just put up with anything! I'm also applying to go back to Uni again next year, & I figure if I get my BFP I'll just make it work. I'm just really trying to avoid putting my life on hold. So I say buy your favourite dress!!! Enjoy the process, & if u end up pregnant u will no longer care about the dress! ; )

You are SO right about this. Thank you for putting it so eloquently! Part of the reason for faffing about buying a house is that I am toying with the "why buy a 4 bedroom house just in case we manage to have a family?" dilemma! I have eventually come around to the idea of buying a 3 bed doer-upper and making that my project for the next year or so. If it so happens I fall pregnant, then great

I won the bid on a dress on eBay yesterday, so we will see what it is like when it arrives **fingers crossed** I think it might be a bit short, but it was a design I liked and very cheap so it was worth the risk

Fascinated to hear that there are snowfields where you are! Are you skiing this week then?

 

[greenjelly]

Welcome aboard Juniper and thanks for putting things in perspective. I have been visited by the so I am out for another month. Felt really hopeful this month too. Had boob twinges and cramping - it just felt like something different was happening. If that wasnt a sign, what will be a sign?! Someone told me you definitely know when you are PG, but I dont think I am that in tune with my body. I am not going to not drink next month. Im just going to live my life as normal. If a baby is meant to be, it wil happen whatever.
On the plus side, my OH finally got his sperm test results. He passed with flying colours (and doesnt he keep telling me...) so that is one thing we can tick off the "why isnt it happening list" but what next? Over to me...

 

[janey211]

HI Ladies....ANNNNNNND she is here. So, CD2, here I am again! Not surprised at all , as I stated before I wasn't hopeful. Just happy it wasn't too late so we can get started again! My 39th Birthday is 10/7.....

Welcome Juniper and good luck this month. The syringe is a weird experince isn't it? My husband and I laugh about it now. I tell him , "I need a sample" Good for you for not putting anything off.....it is the way to be. Can't hold off on life and make it worse!

Green, that is great news on the sperm , b/c that it allot harder to fix. I think next they would check the tubes. And possible drugs. That is good that your blood is coming back good...you have allot of positives going on

Katherine, good luck, hoping for a awesome Birthday Present for you!

Viccatt-Hortenisa------stay stong! Someone is going to get a BFP soon!

I saw my regular doc this AM and she informed my my thyroid is still screwed up. Been trying to straighten it out for years. She really feels that there is a connection with Thyroid issue and fertility since the thyroid controls so many things in the body. She lowered my meds so we'll see. That may take a few weeks to work......kinda annoyed. I did start taking fertileaid 3x a day. It is supposed to help hormone levels. We'll see.....

I noticed someting interesting today. My doctor said to me, "When you get pregnant, we'll need to watch you thyriod closely"....what was weird was hearing the word "when" not "if". I realized that I really only think of this as an "IF" not a "when".

I guess I am afraid to say "when" for fear of dissappointment. Before we started ttc it was "when". Heck, I even held off starting to try for a stupid vacation. I need to go back to "when" and think positively. Goign to listed to "The secret" again.......

Can't wait to celebrate with all you ladies WHEN we ALL get our BFP's!!!

 

[Hortensia]

Hi Juniper

Just popped in to say - 37 is the new 27, in case you hadn't heard!! It is definitely a matter of 'when' and not 'if'.

Lots of babydust for you!

 

[Juniperjules]

Hortensia, hello!!! : ) Ah, I loved being 27- was a nice age!

Katherine, oh I wish you'd get ur BFP for ur 40th! What a spectacular present! For OH & I the syringe is defo the easiest way to go- I was unsure about it until I read how many girls were doing it & getting pregnant! And the 'catching' is definitely kinda stressfully hillarious for us- we've done it tonite again & I'm always worried we'll miss the little specimen pot- but we got it! We laugh while were doing it so i guess thats a good thing.. Got About 1-2mls worth! The Chinese medicine lady told me not to do it this way bcos 'natural is better', she's lovely, but seriously, if this is the only way I can get OH swimmers in there for now, then I'm doing it. I'll just lie when I see her again! ; )*

Viccat, you should post a pic of ur dress! Would love to see it! I'm in Melbourne, so am skiing in the Victorian alpine country- its 2 and a bit hours away.*

Greenhelly, so sorry AF arrived. But great news ur OH swimmers are in good nick! I think the symptoms thing is different for everyone. My mum had missed an AF and didn't even realise she was pregnant with me- so she was pregnant with no 'definitive' type of symptoms. Who knows??? It's sooooo frustrating.*

So I'm 12dpo & got 2 lines on internet cheapie OPKS yesterday x 2. Today only the test line shows. We did the deed last nite with a syringe at around midnite. However i had no obvious CM last nite. but today at 12pm ive got loads off EWCM. Were gonna try & go again tonite.. But I'm wondering if last nite was wasted bcos of the lack of CM?? opinions?*

 

[Hortensia]

Katherine - really hoping you get a nice birthday present!! Are you managing to avoid the worst of symptom spotting?

Greenjelly and Janey, sorry the witch arrived.

Viccat and Juniper - I agree about not making decisions based on the possibility of getting pregnant at some point down the line. It's really easy to lose perspective - because of all this talk of being 'too old' yada yada I sometime find I think of myself as if I were an actual geriatric, which at 39 is just ridiculous. Viccat, your doer-upper plan sounds fun - my DH and I have just spent a good part of the last year doing the same thing It's been a tiring journey but the house is starting to look the way we want it to, finally

As for me, day CD15 today and I notice EWCM this morning. Will do an opk this afternoon. Ov usually happens on day 16 and FF has predicted tomorrow for ov, so we will see. TBH I feel 'meh' about the whole thing this month - I think I've been listening to so much doom-mongering about older mothers (the British press seems to be full of it at the moment) that it's kinda putting me off. I know I shouldn't pay any attention to stupid sensationalist journalism but sometimes it's hard not to. Do any of you ladies ever feel like this?

 

[Juniperjules]

Katherine - really hoping you get a nice birthday present!! Are you managing to avoid the worst of symptom spotting?

Greenjelly and Janey, sorry the witch arrived.

Viccat and Juniper - I agree about not making decisions based on the possibility of getting pregnant at some point down the line. It's really easy to lose perspective - because of all this talk of being 'too old' yada yada I sometime find I think of myself as if I were an actual geriatric, which at 39 is just ridiculous. Viccat, your doer-upper plan sounds fun - my DH and I have just spent a good part of the last year doing the same thing It's been a tiring journey but the house is starting to look the way we want it to, finally

As for me, day CD15 today and I notice EWCM this morning. Will do an opk this afternoon. Ov usually happens on day 16 and FF has predicted tomorrow for ov, so we will see. TBH I feel 'meh' about the whole thing this month - I think I've been listening to so much doom-mongering about older mothers (the British press seems to be full of it at the moment) that it's kinda putting me off. I know I shouldn't pay any attention to stupid sensationalist journalism but sometimes it's hard not to. Do any of you ladies ever feel like this?

Sorry ur feeling low. I know exactly what u mean about the 'old' stuff. I'm the same. I'm 37, 38 in December, but feel 27! I'm fit & healthy- nothing to complain about there- but when it comes to TTC I really feel ancient. If I actually HAVE a baby, I don't think I'll feel too old, but at the moment the trying part makes me feel over the hill. Probably bcos like most of us in here I just feel deep down like I've missed the boat. Even my Chinese medicine lady said to me 'oh! Together 17 years! Shouldve had babies long time ago!'... I felt like saying 'No s*#t Sherlock!!*! But life isn't always that straightforward is it!!!'... I was a little irritated, but she's lovely otherwise & I guess was just stating the bleeding obvious. No point sugar coating it eh.... However my friend who is also using Chinese medicine had her lady say to her 'what 38?? Nah, nothing to worry about, still time!' : ) LOVE her optimism!

Keep ur chin up hon. Although were at the top end of 30, theres still loads of women having babies at this age. I know 3 personally who had 1st babies at 40. But i know its hard somedays. Ive had a bad day today with OH trying to tell me he would be too busy later to give me his 'goods'!! I nearly had a total meltdown over it!! Sometimes I think I'm really losing the plot. But every month feels like another lost chance. He ended up saying 'ok, ok we'll do it'... How romantic.. Meh, who am I kidding? Screw romance I just want his swimmers tonight! We can have romance for the rest of the month ; )

forget what u see/hear in the media hon. The media is full of sensationalist rubbish. Women our age have maturity, and experience & how incredibly loved & adored will our babies be when they arrive. My mum had trouble TTC, & many miscarriages over about 10yrs.....And as a result my sister & I could not have been more loved, cherished, & adored by our parents. they are phenomenal parents.

Just trust your own instincts & remember how much you will love that baby regardless of your age ; )

 

[Hortensia]

You're so right, Juniper. Objectively, I know it's dumb to listen to the scare stories. For example, I worked with someone recently who had her first perfect baby at 43 and said loads of women in her family have done the same!! And the fact is that a lot of us are just not in the right place when we're younger to have children - I was emotionally immature, unhappy and in a crappy relationship for years and it would have been completely wrong to have had kids with that guy and I'm glad I didn't. Then I was bitterly single for a few years and didn't meet my sweetheart until my late 30's. And that's been the case for SO MANY women I know. I also think there are economic reasons for it - people of this generation have found it so difficult to get a stable job, house and mortgage for instance, that commonly it doesn't happen for many people until they are well into their thirties. My parents generation typically left school, got a job and a house and got married by 25! I think these things just go in cycles - for my grandparents' generation, the war delayed a lot of things and later marriages and pregnancies were common. My grandmother had my father and his sister at 40 and 42, shortly after her first marriage.

I hope you get the 'goods' later! My OH is incredibly busy at the moment and both of us are tired so it's touch and go whether I will! I'm completely going by what he feels like doing this week - I don't feel like pushing the issue. Yeah, it's so incredibly romantic, the whole process TBH I think the whole sex-as-procreation rather than sex-as-fun thing is bothering me more than it bothers him just now.

Right, I am resolved to stop reading scare-stories in the press for the next while!!!

 

[HPMINI]

Hi again!

Definitely ignore the scare stories. I saw one recently about older fathers being linked to children with autism but I am ignoring that one!!

I know the feeling about wondering whether to put things off just in case or just get on with it. I was wondering about whether to book a trip to Tasmania and Australia with the thought that if I did get pregnant I may be too far down the line to fly - but I didn't get to book it. Maybe the thought helped!

I'm a Brownie Guide leader in my spare time and shortly before I discovered I was pregnant I had booked a pack holiday in September, a sleepover in November and another pack holiday in April. A year before hand I was leaving it until the last minute to book and leaving it a little late so I decided I might as well just get on with it. So I'm having to find other people to run them for me.

The actual time of conception I think I had decided that it wasn't going to happen and I think I totally thought I had missed the opportunity for that month. Obviously not!

I do know how painful it is waiting though!

Wishing you all good luck!

 

[Juniperjules]

Arrrrrggggg... I'm do frustrated right now!!!! I've used OPKS before & they always showed up 2 distinct lines one day then nothing the next- no confusion- it was very obvious. But right now I feel so confused about whether I've already ovulated or not.

I'm using the same OPKS (that I tried 2 yrs ago), but this time it's doing my head in. I used 2 on Tuesday & although the 2nd line wasnt very strong, there was a line there- twice. I've done it since & have gotten much lighter lines. But I'm starting to think they are all just evap lines!!! I used to ALWAYS get the 2nd line on 13dpo. This time it was only 11dpo.... And I only just got EWCM yesterday at 12dpo. And today so far it seems to be gone again. My last AF was also weird. Came 2 days early, was shorter than normal, & started with some CM & spotting that Ive never had before- ever...

I feel like crying today. I'm feeling like my body has suddenly turned on me when I've always been straightforward as far as AF is concerned. Last night I was feeling positive, but today I feel like I don't know what the feck I'm doing!!! It's at a time like this that I feel really bitter about not being able to BD for days like some couples do- at least then it wouldn't feel like we were gonna just miss the boat completely! We did AI on tues nite after I 'thought' we had positive OPKS... But I'm doubting that now. We might try again tonite.

I haven't seen a doctor at any point bcos I wanted to try for a little while. But It all feels like speculation & guessing & I'm feeling like I should just go get everything checked out rather than keep wasting time...
Now I have to go to work and try to concentrate : (

 

[Katherine1209]

I find opks frustrating too Juniper! I'm always second guessing whether Ive ov'd or not...i'm trying to stay hopeful this month...at least until af arrives....but i really really hope she stays away!!!
If i were you Id just AI as much as you can...lol...if i could get my oh to dtd more id be so happy but hes much more particular about it than i am...has to be in the mood etc...doesn't matter to me at this point....although id like it to still be fun, i so want to get pg id do it just for increasing our odds...

Hi H, no symptoms to spot going on here at all...confusing! I finally had my blood test today to check progesterone and AMH so looking forward to finding out my result...mentioned to oh a few times about him getting a check but he seems to be putting if off and procrastinating!!!

Its so easy to get carried away with all the doubts, but its much less stressful to try to stay hopeful....i can drive myself crazy thinking 'it will never happen', but it just makes me sad so i do try to say to myself that the odds really are in my favour, especially with all the interventions that are available... if that's the road you want to take...as for me, if we don't get pg in the next few months ill be going to see a specialist...its not for everyone but if its not going to happen then i want to have tried all avenues...

 

[Hortensia]

FF has estimated ovulation to be today (which would be CD16, which makes sense). I had EWCM yesterday am and today am. Last night had pain which felt like mittelschmerz on left side of my pelvis.

But I have done three OPK's - two yesterday (one am one pm) and one today (pm) all negative. From what I remember I have a 'slow surge' but is it possible just to miss the LH surge altogether? Anyone had any experience of this?

My temp was still low this am but I guess my question will be answered anyway if it shows a shift tomorrow morning...

I'm a bit mystified though...

 

[Hortensia]

Arrrrrggggg... I'm do frustrated right now!!!! I've used OPKS before & they always showed up 2 distinct lines one day then nothing the next- no confusion- it was very obvious. But right now I feel so confused about whether I've already ovulated or not.

I'm using the same OPKS (that I tried 2 yrs ago), but this time it's doing my head in. I used 2 on Tuesday & although the 2nd line wasnt very strong, there was a line there- twice. I've done it since & have gotten much lighter lines. But I'm starting to think they are all just evap lines!!! I used to ALWAYS get the 2nd line on 13dpo. This time it was only 11dpo.... And I only just got EWCM yesterday at 12dpo. And today so far it seems to be gone again. My last AF was also weird. Came 2 days early, was shorter than normal, & started with some CM & spotting that Ive never had before- ever...

I feel like crying today. I'm feeling like my body has suddenly turned on me when I've always been straightforward as far as AF is concerned. Last night I was feeling positive, but today I feel like I don't know what the feck I'm doing!!! It's at a time like this that I feel really bitter about not being able to BD for days like some couples do- at least then it wouldn't feel like we were gonna just miss the boat completely! We did AI on tues nite after I 'thought' we had positive OPKS... But I'm doubting that now. We might try again tonite.

I haven't seen a doctor at any point bcos I wanted to try for a little while. But It all feels like speculation & guessing & I'm feeling like I should just go get everything checked out rather than keep wasting time...
Now I have to go to work and try to concentrate : (

Juniperjules, I hear you, on all fronts!! I have a feeling I'm not going to be in this cycle at all.

And I'm in the same boat re the OPK's. In the past have had an unambiguous result with them, but feel like I might have missed the surge this time. Did you test again today?

 

[gustav72]

Hi Everyone, I'm getting on this post late and I think posted a while back, but haven't read through all the posts yet, but I will. I'm feeling really discouraged with my husband's performance anxiety/low testosterone? He is so bummed. We haven't seen a doctor yet, but I am encouraging him to see his doc if it is in fact low testosterone...he has difficulty with maintaining his erection, which then, we can't finish. It was so frustrating last night as I am ovulating and we tried, with the same frustrating result. We took a break from trying the beginning of the summer because of this and thought it was stress, but now I'm beginning to wonder if it's testosterone. I will be 40 in November and my husband will be 44 in a month. We are TTC with our first child. I want to read the past posts regarding syringe use for insemination, as he can get the job done on his own. I'm trying really hard not to panic and go to the extreme that we will never be parents because of this. I should note, we are both seeing an acupuncturist and he has some herbs with some natural help but he hasn't taken the herbs yet. Thanks for listening...I just feel so alone, as I can't talk to any of my friends about this, but yet feel so hopeless and sad. I'll go back and read all the posts. Thanks again!