OH performance anxiety - 6 BFPs so far!!!!

[Juniperjules]

Same problem here, although not as severe. At least half the time, he doesn't finish, and when he does, it takes 30+ minutes, and that's if he doesn't get a sex headache and have to stop. He has no trouble finishing on his own, which makes me wonder if it's me, even though in my head I know it's not. We're going to IUI next month, but as far as trying at home, I now keep cups and a few 10ml oral syringes around, just in case. He was a little uncomfortable with it at first, but now, no big deal. We can have fun together, and if he needs to finish on his own, he can and I won't be insulted, and his guys get where they need to be one way or another. LOL. Not very romantic, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do.

Wow, Siensasmama, our stories are so similar, except my DH has never finished during sex. He's FINALLY seeing a specialist about it, but in the meantime, we're doing IUI.

Best of luck to you!!!

Well I'm right there with you both girls. My OH isn't able to finish during actual 'intercourse'. He IS able to finish afterwards with a little help from me & helping himself (IYKWIM)... In all the years we've been together we used the 'pull out' method, & it's like now his brain/body is stuck & it's difficult to reverse it.

So for now were doing our own AI. But I'm going to see my Dr this week to start getting some testing done, & I'm going to bring this 'issue' up with her. Bcos im wondering if maybe IUI would be an option for us too??? But I don't know if his particular issue would be enough for us to be considered for IUI? And although he is happy to have all the initial testing done, I dunno how comfortable he'd be with the idea of actually talking about his 'problem'...

Can I ask wot kind of specialist ur DH is seeing?

Good luck with the IUI... Would love to hear from you wot the process is like...

 

[Katherine1209]

Hi Kat...best of luck with the iui! Like juniper, im reallt interested to hear how it goes....I'm still waiting to see my dr about our next step...it seems to take so long to get any answers at this point...appt after appt and blood tests etc...I never thought at the beginning of our ttc journey that it would quite be like this, but just going with the flow at this point and hoping a lot!

 

[Kat S]

Well I'm right there with you both girls. My OH isn't able to finish during actual 'intercourse'. He IS able to finish afterwards with a little help from me & helping himself (IYKWIM)... In all the years we've been together we used the 'pull out' method, & it's like now his brain/body is stuck & it's difficult to reverse it.

So for now were doing our own AI. But I'm going to see my Dr this week to start getting some testing done, & I'm going to bring this 'issue' up with her. Bcos im wondering if maybe IUI would be an option for us too??? But I don't know if his particular issue would be enough for us to be considered for IUI? And although he is happy to have all the initial testing done, I dunno how comfortable he'd be with the idea of actually talking about his 'problem'...

Can I ask wot kind of specialist ur DH is seeing?

Good luck with the IUI... Would love to hear from you wot the process is like...

Yeah, the main reason our Fertility doc recommended IUI is because my DH can't get "the goods" to my eggs, but since he can finish through masterbation, we're the perfect candidates for IUI. Male ejaculatory difficulties are enough to be an IUI candidate!

Oh, I almost forgot your other question! He is seeing not only the same fertility specialists I'm seeing, but he saw a urologist, too. Anyone doing fertility testing has to see a urologist anyway to get their sperm analyzed. My husband was at first funny about talking about it. "It's none of their business!" my big tattooed husband growled. But in the end, he realized it was for HIS benefit to get this problem solved, and the docs were sooo sensitive and understanding...and made him realize that his situation is not at all uncommon so he didn't feel freakish anymore.

Good luck to you guys! So great to talk to others dealing with this particular issue.

 

[Kat S]

Hi Kat...best of luck with the iui! Like juniper, im reallt interested to hear how it goes....I'm still waiting to see my dr about our next step...it seems to take so long to get any answers at this point...appt after appt and blood tests etc...I never thought at the beginning of our ttc journey that it would quite be like this, but just going with the flow at this point and hoping a lot!

OMG, right?! We started testing in JULY and here it is October and we still haven't "done" anything other than tests. It seems to take forever and I'm impatient and a little scared about all this "lost" time. I know that they can't recommend the right course of action for us until they determine what's going on with our bodies, but I wish it didn't have to take so long.

 

[Juniperjules]

Well I'm right there with you both girls. My OH isn't able to finish during actual 'intercourse'. He IS able to finish afterwards with a little help from me & helping himself (IYKWIM)... In all the years we've been together we used the 'pull out' method, & it's like now his brain/body is stuck & it's difficult to reverse it.

So for now were doing our own AI. But I'm going to see my Dr this week to start getting some testing done, & I'm going to bring this 'issue' up with her. Bcos im wondering if maybe IUI would be an option for us too??? But I don't know if his particular issue would be enough for us to be considered for IUI? And although he is happy to have all the initial testing done, I dunno how comfortable he'd be with the idea of actually talking about his 'problem'...

Can I ask wot kind of specialist ur DH is seeing?

Good luck with the IUI... Would love to hear from you wot the process is like...

Yeah, the main reason our Fertility doc recommended IUI is because my DH can't get "the goods" to my eggs, but since he can finish through masterbation, we're the perfect candidates for IUI. Male ejaculatory difficulties are enough to be an IUI candidate!

Oh, I almost forgot your other question! He is seeing not only the same fertility specialists I'm seeing, but he saw a urologist, too. Anyone doing fertility testing has to see a urologist anyway to get their sperm analyzed. My husband was at first funny about talking about it. "It's none of their business!" my big tattooed husband growled. But in the end, he realized it was for HIS benefit to get this problem solved, and the docs were sooo sensitive and understanding...and made him realize that his situation is not at all uncommon so he didn't feel freakish anymore.

Good luck to you guys! So great to talk to others dealing with this particular issue.

Yeh the waiting game is no good when ur biological clock is racing in ur ear is it!

And Thanks : ) ... You've made my day telling me that 'ejaculatory difficulties' count as enough for IUI.. I'm in Australia but I'd guess the rules are the same here.. i'll ask the GP more questions on Friday. I'm wondering if I should ask to have the AMH test done??? I feel like some knowledge is great, but too much could be detrimental to my mental health! ; ) do u know does a woman's AMH have an impact on what options a fertility specialist offers?? It worries me that if I got a low number it might send me into a spin, & it's not like you can change or 'fix' it like you can various other problems.

Hmmmm... I dunno, I'm undecided on that one..

 

[Kat S]

Yeh the waiting game is no good when ur biological clock is racing in ur ear is it!

And Thanks : ) ... You've made my day telling me that 'ejaculatory difficulties' count as enough for IUI.. I'm in Australia but I'd guess the rules are the same here.. i'll ask the GP more questions on Friday. I'm wondering if I should ask to have the AMH test done??? I feel like some knowledge is great, but too much could be detrimental to my mental health! ; ) do u know does a woman's AMH have an impact on what options a fertility specialist offers?? It worries me that if I got a low number it might send me into a spin, & it's not like you can change or 'fix' it like you can various other problems.

Hmmmm... I dunno, I'm undecided on that one..

I know it's tempting to not look into stuff like AMH levels because the results might not be ideal, but it really is best to know what you're dealing with. That way your doc can give you the best possible plan. I have that dreaded low AMH and high FSH level combination, yet my doc says that doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, it just means we have to use a different strategy than he would have recommended had my test results been normal. Knowing what we're working with allows the doc to prescribe the best possible plan!

I think I'm not allowed to post links, but there's a nice article about low AMH/high FSH over on Fertileheart DOT COM. Read it and see all is not lost!!

I hope this makes sense!

 

[janey211]

Hi Kat. ....my situation is the same. We try, but it hasn't EVER happened from intercorse. We are good in all other areas, just not intercorse. We are doing AI at home. I am also in the Philadelphia Burbs! I may inbox you for a specialist referral.......

This month has been confusing. I haven't seen a positibe OPK yet. They came close then they started to get lighter and lighter. We did our thing every other day (and still going) but I haven't seen a positive OPK and I am supposed to get my progesterone checked again (after a low test 2 months ago) but now I don't know when to go?

Should I just go and get the test, 7 days form the darkest line I saw? HELP!!!

 

[Kat S]

Hi Kat. ....my situation is the same. We try, but it hasn't EVER happened from intercorse. We are good in all other areas, just not intercorse. We are doing AI at home. I am also in the Philadelphia Burbs! I may inbox you for a specialist referral.......

This month has been confusing. I haven't seen a positibe OPK yet. They came close then they started to get lighter and lighter. We did our thing every other day (and still going) but I haven't seen a positive OPK and I am supposed to get my progesterone checked again (after a low test 2 months ago) but now I don't know when to go?

Should I just go and get the test, 7 days form the darkest line I saw? HELP!!!

Hi, Janey! I'm happy to tell you where I'm going: Abington Reproductive Medicine. Each patient gets a team of specialty doctors working together to get you pregnant! Sounds creepy, doesn't it?

I've never used an ovulation predictor kit before, so I'm of no help there. Maybe write up a separate post and an OPK "expert" will respond.

 

[Katherine1209]

Hi Kat. ....my situation is the same. We try, but it hasn't EVER happened from intercorse. We are good in all other areas, just not intercorse. We are doing AI at home. I am also in the Philadelphia Burbs! I may inbox you for a specialist referral.......

This month has been confusing. I haven't seen a positibe OPK yet. They came close then they started to get lighter and lighter. We did our thing every other day (and still going) but I haven't seen a positive OPK and I am supposed to get my progesterone checked again (after a low test 2 months ago) but now I don't know when to go?

Should I just go and get the test, 7 days form the darkest line I saw? HELP!!!

Hi Janey, i too have that issue with the OPK's...i generally keep them all and compare until the line starts to fade and assume that the darkest one was the LH surge...so if i were you i would get the bloods done 7 days after...

I have had two 21 day bloods done now...

 

[janey211]

Thanks Katherine and Kat. I am still testing and they are now getting darker and darker so I don't think i yet. It is so frustrating. I hate not being in control with this.

Kat, thanks for the referral. Abington is a bit too far for me but it sounds like a great team.
I really want my husband to get his SA done. Just not sure how to make that happen. He siad he will do it....just need to figure out how.

Katherine, you are still waiting on test results right?

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi Kat. ....my situation is the same. We try, but it hasn't EVER happened from intercorse. We are good in all other areas, just not intercorse. We are doing AI at home. I am also in the Philadelphia Burbs! I may inbox you for a specialist referral.......

This month has been confusing. I haven't seen a positibe OPK yet. They came close then they started to get lighter and lighter. We did our thing every other day (and still going) but I haven't seen a positive OPK and I am supposed to get my progesterone checked again (after a low test 2 months ago) but now I don't know when to go?

Should I just go and get the test, 7 days form the darkest line I saw? HELP!!!

Oh I had a painful month this month with the OPKS I was using. There 'was' a second line a couple of times from memory- but they never got as dark as the test line. It really made me mental! So from now on I'm only using the smiley face OPKS bcos I can't handle another month like this one. I would do as you say, go with the darkest one, in the end that's wot I did too... Even though I wasn't convinced!

 

[viccat]

Hi all, nothing really to report from me (this month looks a wash out) just popping in to wish everyone luck and baby dust.

 

[HPMINI]

Fingers crossed viccat for next time and everybody else!

 

[Katherine1209]

Thanks Katherine and Kat. I am still testing and they are now getting darker and darker so I don't think i yet. It is so frustrating. I hate not being in control with this.

Kat, thanks for the referral. Abington is a bit too far for me but it sounds like a great team.
I really want my husband to get his SA done. Just not sure how to make that happen. He siad he will do it....just need to figure out how.

Katherine, you are still waiting on test results right?

Still waiting...the day I had my dr appt I got a letter from the pathologist saying I had to pay $75 to have my results done and from that day it would take another ten days...I cancelled the dr appt...have to make another soon...

Things have been stressful lately...oh and I have been arguing a bit which gets us both down and now I'm oving neither of us is really in the mood for BDing!

 

[janey211]

Katherine..

That stinks. I am sorry to hear that. It is stressful enough with all we need to worry about and to be arguing on top of it is awful! Hang in there, I am sure you'll turn a corner soon enough and you'll be dancing soon enough!!!

That seems so long and expensive to get results. My doc here just called me and verbally gave me the results. Can't me much help in that area since I don't know the system there. I guess, just go one controlling what you can control.

I am now convinced that I am not ovulating. I do have symptoms but I can't get a smiley face on the expensive tests. The cheapies show very similar lines but then I do a first response and nothing. We are still doing AI but seems like a waste of time at this point. I am getting progesterone test and pushing for an appt with a specialist.


Sending happy thoughts your way today!

 

[viccat]

Oh dear Katherine, sorry to hear that It must be in the air because OH and I had our worst argument in ages at the weekend. Admittedly we were facing becoming homeless at the time which isn't great!

[All sorted now - just got the stress of moving to deal with. Which seems a minor inconvenience compared to the possibility of having to live in our tent]

 

[greenjelly]

Oh dear Katherine, sorry to hear that It must be in the air because OH and I had our worst argument in ages at the weekend. Admittedly we were facing becoming homeless at the time which isn't great!

[All sorted now - just got the stress of moving to deal with. Which seems a minor inconvenience compared to the possibility of having to live in our tent]

/
Whats happening then Viccat? When do you move into the new property? How long were in you sleeping in a tent? Conducive to BDing? Sort of romantic!

Im hating my TTC obsession this month. I started temping halfway through my cycle and thought I had Ov'ed before I started temping and yet all my temps seem to be very low (from what I read on various forums) for post ov dates. Does that mean I have a progesterone problem? Did I not Ov? Am I still to Ov even though Im on CD19 (of a 26 day cycle)? If that is the case, do I have a short luteal phase so no chance for egg to safely implant! I feel I know a little bit too much and yet too little about too many things and Im wondering if temping isnt healthy for me. Is it just another obsession. We really went for the BDing this month too but it seems all to no avail. Hoping for an HSG soon, away with work for most of October so will come back with vengeance in November - when I will be TTC number 1 aged 40!! aRGH!
Katherine, sorry about your tests saga. Not fun.

 

[Katherine1209]

Hey! Thanks for all your kind words....fortunately everything is going great ATM...oh and i had a good chat and after two days off work, getting our backyard all prepared for a new lawn, things are back to normal....part of it is that when my oh gets stressed out he tends to get on my back a bit...and the other is that I'm not really eating any junk, including sugar, fat and caffeine..which is definitely making me more sarcastic and a bit moody...not a good combination...

So I am also having OPK frustration...got a postive result...I think on cd10! Wtf!! According to my chart I should ov on cd14?? Last month I got a positive OPK on cd11.... So who knows when I ov...but here's the good news.....we DTD late last night which would have been cd11 and then again this morning cd12.....I mean I am still in shock as he has never DTD twice in a row! He woke me up this morning saying do you want some more 'sparkles'...thats what we call his ....and i was like...yes bring it on and sparkle me up baby!!...so excited....I am hoping he might agree to one more bd...fingers crossed!!

And...I finally told oh about this perimenopause thing that my last blood test revealed and he said...well we will just have to get your egg and my sperm and find someone to carry it then....I did say there were some other steps we could take before we tried to find a surrogate...which is illegal here ...but it was cute to hear him so determined...

 

[Katherine1209]

Im hating my TTC obsession this month. I started temping halfway through my cycle and thought I had Ov'ed before I started temping and yet all my temps seem to be very low (from what I read on various forums) for post ov dates. Does that mean I have a progesterone problem? Did I not Ov? Am I still to Ov even though Im on CD19 (of a 26 day cycle)? If that is the case, do I have a short luteal phase so no chance for egg to safely implant! I feel I know a little bit too much and yet too little about too many things and Im wondering if temping isnt healthy for me. Is it just another obsession. We really went for the BDing this month too but it seems all to no avail. Hoping for an HSG soon, away with work for most of October so will come back with vengeance in November - when I will be TTC number 1 aged 40!! aRGH!
Katherine, sorry about your tests saga. Not fun.

Green.. I hear you about the temping... Part of me really wants to give it a go so i can have better info aobut my cycle and the other thinks it might just make me even more ttc obsessed....

Look forward to sharing your November journey....as a fellow older and wiser 40 year old...

 

[Katherine1209]

Oh dear Katherine, sorry to hear that It must be in the air because OH and I had our worst argument in ages at the weekend. Admittedly we were facing becoming homeless at the time which isn't great!

[All sorted now - just got the stress of moving to deal with. Which seems a minor inconvenience compared to the possibility of having to live in our tent]

Hey viccat, hope your house situation is all okay...now not knowing where you're goings to live would be enough to stress anyone out...