OH performance anxiety - 6 BFPs so far!!!!

[familygirl30]

Hi their, Do you think it would work if once my OH has ejaculated through foreplay i could put him inside me straight after?Advice please.

 

[Kat S]

Hi their, Do you think it would work if once my OH has ejaculated through foreplay i could put him inside me straight after?Advice please.

Sadly, once he has ejaculated, the game is over. I've decided to have my DH ejaculate into a Soft Cup, and then insert that. I'll let you all know how it goes! I feel like I have to do something else other than the one IUI a month to increase my chances.

 

[familygirl30]

Thank you for the reply I was hoping him inside me after ejaculation would be ok but will have to think of other way,so frustrating.

 

[Zeri]

Thank you for the reply I was hoping him inside me after ejaculation would be ok but will have to think of other way,so frustrating.

Yeah, I think once the spermies get exposed to air a lot of them die out...And then if he ejaculates into the air/on himself you mightn't end up getting most of them inside you anyway.

Is it difficult for your husband to finish inside you?

I asked how ppl felt about their OH's trying Viagra, but no one really responded. Could that help your husband perhaps? Seems to me like a libido/erection booster could solve a lot of the problems talked about here..

 

[Kat S]

Zeri, my DH can't use the Viagra type products because one of the possible side effects are eye problems, which my DH already has...we don't want him taking something to make that worse!

 

[Juniperjules]

Hey Janey, I am with you. AF arrived on Wednesday. Feeling quite negative, used to look at symptoms and imagine the best but now just assume the worst.... I turned 39 a few months ago. We have been TTC 13 months now, but a lot of those months there was no chance of conception due to performance anxiety.

Gonna go to GP soon as have never felt there was any point discussing why we are not conceiving as there wasn't a chance for so long. Scared of OH's reaction to this tho. Worried this may bring back performance anxiety just when things are better on that front.

Sorry, not many positive vibes here! I feel so old and tired today

Hi there girls... Haven't been in here for a few weeks but am back!!

SaraJewel, my OH has trouble finishing. We can have fab sex, but when it comes to him finishing it just doesn't happen during actual intercourse. We've done the 'pull out' & both utilise 'mrs palmer' and various other little tricks that he enjoyed for years & years, so I don't really know when it became an issue.

We TRIED dtd the regular way for a couple of months.... But each time started off great, then when it came to him actually finishing.... Disaster!!!! It was so stressful for us both. He felt embarrassed, frustrated & stupid, I felt unnattractive, old (almost 38), and was losing all hope. One nite I just burst into tears!!! And he first got angry with me... Then was so sad looking..and that's when I knew I had to do something about it. We've never had a problem in our sex life- its always been good. But we'd never TTC before.

So I googled... Found BnB... and found a thread where everyone is doing home artificial insemination!!! AND getting BFPS! It was my light at the end of the tunnel! At first I was nervous to suggest it to my OH, I wasn't sure how he'd take to the idea of us using a syringe & spec cup to conceive... But I tell you wot, the look of relief on his face said what a thousand words couldn't have said : ) he was totally onboard, & we've just done our 2nd cycle doing home insemination, am about 2dpo now.

I guess wot I'm trying to say is that these performance issues can be so stressful for our guys that sometimes offering another option is just what they need. Going to ur GP & getting some help might actually help your OH. I also found that me being able to say to my OH 'hey, this happens to loads of couples- its not the end of the world, weve got options' just lightened the whole TTC mood. Infact, we kind of have a bit of a giggle when were doing the inseminations at the silliness of it all. But all i care about is that it works. My OH is totally cool now with popping his goods into a spec cup!!! I NEVER thought that id say those words..

 

[familygirl30]

Hi,so soon as ejaculated in to cup you would use a syringe?so sperm be still alive at this point?

 

[Juniperjules]

Yep! The sperm are still alive. Once it's in the spec cup we let it sit for about 5-10 mins to liquefy a little which makes it easier to draw up into the syringe. Then I draw it up into a 5 or 10ml syringe, lie down with pillow under hips & inseminate. And there are loads and loads of couples both straight & lesbian, & single girls who've given up waiting for a guy to have a baby. It's very inspiring reading everyone's stories : )

 

[familygirl30]

So by spec cup could it be just a plastic throw away cup?thank u so much for the advice,are the success stories on this thread?or another one?

 

[familygirl30]

Can I ask how long u have been trying it this way?

 

[Juniperjules]

Heres a link to the thread, i hope it works.. Never posted a link before! https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/a...nsemination-donor-sperm-663.html#post22105041

It's a very long thread, but worth reading from the beginning bcos pretty much all my questions were answered. We use a little specimen cup like the kind a doctor would get u to pee in. But really u could use any kind of container that is clean.

Were on our 2nd month of doing this AI (artificial insemination). It has taken the stress out of TTC for us. Infact it has enhanced our relationship bcos were both so relaxed now bcos all the pressure for my OH to perform are gone. I had a positive OPK on Wednesday and we did the AI on wed & Thursday nite. I was so negative before we started this, now I'm feeling positive.

 

[Kat S]

Thanks for the info, Juniperjules! And good luck with your AI!!

 

[viccat]

I couldn't think of someone famous but my workmate announced she is pregnant yesterday, after 4 years of TTC and she is 44!
My oh does take Viagra and it helps heaps!
I've had a shit time this cycle when af showed up...I'd been feeling really hopeful as we did twice rig in the fertile period...when af came I was gutted, couldn't stop,crying...
Feeling much better now and off to see my gp Friday about my progesterone and amh....fingers crossed...

How did it go on Friday Katherine?

Thanks for sharing the info Juniperjules - it is great to hear about something making such a big difference. I've got my fingers crossed for you

 

[janey211]

Hello ladies!

Welcome familygirl. I too do at home insemination. You will get the hang of it. It takes all the pressure off of performing! Haven't been successful yet, but still trying. I have my DH finish in a cup, he takes it to me, I draw the sperm into the syringe and in it goes. inject SLOWLY, if you do it to fast it will just come out. Having an orgasm(not vaginally) is recomended because if makes the cervix dip down to collect the sperm. I wait about 30 minutes before I get up. you will have fall out, don't worry, it is just the semen fluid, not the sperm.

SARAjewel, will your husband to at home insemination? have you discussed it? it is so much easier than the stress of performance. And according to my doc, it should work.

A few updates on my end. My husband had his sperm tested and it was abnormal. Not terrible but abnormal. The mobility is low which I feel is a result of him smoking pot. Some people take one of many mood medications.... my husband likes pot. It relaxes him and helps with his anxiety and I normally don't care. He is responsible and has a good job but I think it is doing a number on his sperm not swimming right right. He has agreed to quit so that is good news! He is also seeing a uralogist to discuss the results and see if there is somjething he can take improve them faster. And he is going to get a script for Viagra or Cialis. Not only does he suffer from the "finishing" problem, he is now loosing his erection. Even though we do the syringe each month, I would like to actually have sex. The syringe has replaced all need for it. So we are working on that as well.
I do have a friend who said it really helped her husband finish better. I think that fact alone that thier penis so erect, excites them!! Also, sorry for any TMI, but there are adult toys out there for men that may help ....We have tried a few things that I think helped. Just a suggestion. If you want more info, feel free to ask.

I just bought a fertility monitor. I am done with these OV test strips. I can't tell what is what. DONE! bought the monitor and expect to get it tomorrow. It was expensive but so is IUI and IVF.
Not feeling anymore HOPEFUL but also not giving up. Just controlling what I can control! I am CD14 today, we are starting insemination tonight and off we go.....

Katherine, how was the docs?

 

[Juniperjules]

Hello ladies!

Welcome familygirl. I too do at home insemination. You will get the hang of it. It takes all the pressure off of performing! Haven't been successful yet, but still trying. I have my DH finish in a cup, he takes it to me, I draw the sperm into the syringe and in it goes. inject SLOWLY, if you do it to fast it will just come out. Having an orgasm(not vaginally) is recomended because if makes the cervix dip down to collect the sperm. I wait about 30 minutes before I get up. you will have fall out, don't worry, it is just the semen fluid, not the sperm.

SARAjewel, will your husband to at home insemination? have you discussed it? it is so much easier than the stress of performance. And according to my doc, it should work.

A few updates on my end. My husband had his sperm tested and it was abnormal. Not terrible but abnormal. The mobility is low which I feel is a result of him smoking pot. Some people take one of many mood medications.... my husband likes pot. It relaxes him and helps with his anxiety and I normally don't care. He is responsible and has a good job but I think it is doing a number on his sperm not swimming right right. He has agreed to quit so that is good news! He is also seeing a uralogist to discuss the results and see if there is somjething he can take improve them faster. And he is going to get a script for Viagra or Cialis. Not only does he suffer from the "finishing" problem, he is now loosing his erection. Even though we do the syringe each month, I would like to actually have sex. The syringe has replaced all need for it. So we are working on that as well.
I do have a friend who said it really helped her husband finish better. I think that fact alone that thier penis so erect, excites them!! Also, sorry for any TMI, but there are adult toys out there for men that may help ....We have tried a few things that I think helped. Just a suggestion. If you want more info, feel free to ask.

I just bought a fertility monitor. I am done with these OV test strips. I can't tell what is what. DONE! bought the monitor and expect to get it tomorrow. It was expensive but so is IUI and IVF.
Not feeling anymore HOPEFUL but also not giving up. Just controlling what I can control! I am CD14 today, we are starting insemination tonight and off we go.....

Katherine, how was the docs?

Janey, can I ask how much pot ur DH smokes? My OH has 2 friends that smoke a fair bit of pot, so when he visits them it is inevitable that he ends up partaking also. He doesn't really even enjoy being stoned very much, but he does it to be sociable & says it would be anti-social to refuse. Up until now (TTC) I couldn't care less about it, but now it does worry me. A couple of times he has purposely refused but Even if it's only once a fortnight it still worries me. We are getting his SA done soon so I guess that will be telling. I'm hoping it'll be ok, but I guess if it isn't then he'll just have to start being rude & anti-social : )

 

[janey211]

Janey, can I ask how much pot ur DH smokes? My OH has 2 friends that smoke a fair bit of pot, so when he visits them it is inevitable that he ends up partaking also. He doesn't really even enjoy being stoned very much, but he does it to be sociable & says it would be anti-social to refuse. Up until now (TTC) I couldn't care less about it, but now it does worry me. A couple of times he has purposely refused but Even if it's only once a fortnight it still worries me. We are getting his SA done soon so I guess that will be telling. I'm hoping it'll be ok, but I guess if it isn't then he'll just have to start being rude & anti-social : )

Juniper, he smokes daily when he has it. I don't think that if your OH is taking a hit every fortnight(had to google that) it's a huge problem. that isn't allot but if the test comes out irregular then he may want to stop. My husband is going to have to expalin why has stopped to his friends and they better be supportive.

I have read allot about it and everything says that if you want to improve sperm quality, then you need to watch what you put in your body! I talked to him last night and we are going to cancel the uralogist appt. I can't see going to a doctor to discuss the issue when I know why it could be.
By the way, that guy on the "donor sperm" board is totally shopping around for business. You can tell by his other posts that he is a donor. creepy.

 

[Juniperjules]

Yeh I completely agree janey- the other thought I had was that he is being kind of voyeuristic & getting off on reading the posts... Which is gross & like one of the other girls has said, also makes me feel slightly uncomfortable writing all this personal stuff. But I'm not gonna let some weird guy put me off. If he posts again I don't think I'll be able to stop myself telling him that he should be keeping his opinions to himself!!

I know wot u mean about the occasional smoking stuff, and my OH has been pretty good trying to avoid smoking it around Ov time. But I'd prefer he stopped altogether until we've got a BFP... Then he can do wot he wants. Think I just find it a wee bit annoying bcos I know he doesn't even like it that much- he says it makes his buddy talk too much, & he on the otherhand struggles to talk or concentrate!! : ) what a pair!!

So will u reschedule the urologist then? If so how long will u leave it?

 

[janey211]

Yeh I completely agree janey- the other thought I had was that he is being kind of voyeuristic & getting off on reading the posts... Which is gross & like one of the other girls has said, also makes me feel slightly uncomfortable writing all this personal stuff. But I'm not gonna let some weird guy put me off. If he posts again I don't think I'll be able to stop myself telling him that he should be keeping his opinions to himself!!

I know wot u mean about the occasional smoking stuff, and my OH has been pretty good trying to avoid smoking it around Ov time. But I'd prefer he stopped altogether until we've got a BFP... Then he can do wot he wants. Think I just find it a wee bit annoying bcos I know he doesn't even like it that much- he says it makes his buddy talk too much, & he on the otherhand struggles to talk or concentrate!! : ) what a pair!!

So will u reschedule the urologist then? If so how long will u leave it?

Juniper,

I decided to keep the appointment. Although I am sure the pot is a major contibuter, he can't hurt to discuss it in case they can presecribe something to improve the quality faster. So that is happening. I would also like to hear his interpretation of the results. meaing, how bad it is? should I be really concerned? can it still happen etc.

On a side note, we did AI this AM and I used a soft cup. Interesting peice of equipment. He used it has his "cup" and I inserted it. Went in fine, just hoping i can get it out,hahahaha. No leakage for sure!! I haven't had a positive test OV test yet. hoping I didn't screw up the timing this month. I was a little lax with testing last week......

 

[Kat S]

Last night I had my DH "finish" into a Soft Cup, and I put that in (no problem!) and we went to sleep. This morning, sadly, I couldn't fish it back out! I tried and tried. I had to have my DH get it out. He's such a good sport! Thank god he was still home or the nurse would have had to do it at my follicle check u/s this morning. That would have been mortifying!

Anyway, went in for the follie check and it's still too small - only 10mm. I go back on Saturday to see if there's any progress.

 

[janey211]

Last night I had my DH "finish" into a Soft Cup, and I put that in (no problem!) and we went to sleep. This morning, sadly, I couldn't fish it back out! I tried and tried. I had to have my DH get it out. He's such a good sport! Thank god he was still home or the nurse would have had to do it at my follicle check u/s this morning. That would have been mortifying!

Anyway, went in for the follie check and it's still too small - only 10mm. I go back on Saturday to see if there's any progress.

oh no.......now I am nervous!! I did a practice run and it came out fine but it was only in for a minute. they say to push (like your having a bowel movement) and it releases it...gosh I hope it comes out. eeek!

hoping for better news for you on Sunday Kat.