Older first time TTC?

[Timid]

I'm 32, and the Significant Other and I have decided to TTC starting in Feb 09...

Are there any other older girls out there in the same position as me?



xTimi

 

[Belgiansunset]

Hi Timid. I'm 30 and although we're not TTC yet, I'm hoping it won't be too long before my OH changes his mind and decides he's ready! It's good that you have a date set to start trying. If I could pin him down it would give me something to aim for! I notice you're in London (so am I). It seems that my friends outside London start having babies in their 20s, but none of the London ones have started yet and they're all in their 30's - have you noticed that too?

Good luck TTC, hope it happens quickly for you!

 

[Timid]

Hi Timid. I'm 30 and although we're not TTC yet, I'm hoping it won't be too long before my OH changes his mind and decides he's ready!

I will keep my fingers crossed for you - mine literally changed his mind over night practically and has basically demanded babies immediately He knows that it won't be instantaneous though as he's got a degree in Biology and probably knows more about these things than I do!!!!

It's good that you have a date set to start trying. If I could pin him down it would give me something to aim for! I notice you're in London (so am I). It seems that my friends outside London start having babies in their 20s, but none of the London ones have started yet and they're all in their 30's - have you noticed that too?
Good luck TTC, hope it happens quickly for you!

Definitely. My 30+yo friends who are in couples are now all either TTC for a while or are already pg or have children. I suppose too, that many of us Londoners (I actually live in Surrey) are more Career minded than others in the countryside. My mum had two kids by 23 - the mere thought of that when I was 23 was horrifying!

The whole thing really freaks me out! Good luck for your journey though

 

[cazd]

Blimey - when your post said Older I thought you meant 45+

I know what you mean though... I'm 30 and my biological clock is well and truly ticking!
My OH has finally agreed that having babies might not be so bad and he's ready to start trying. We were going to spend 3 months getting fit and eating more healthily but I don't think I can wait!

The magic 35 is quickly approaching.

The books all say that if you're under 35 then try to conceive naturally for 12 months before seeking alternatives, but between 35-40 they suggest 6 months.
The risk of neural birth defects starts to rise quite sharply after 35...

But... by all accounts if you don't drink, smoke or take drugs...
If you eat healthily - 5 a day organic fruit and veg and reach the good conception BMI of 24 - then you should be just fine. (Easier said than done though!)

I'm annoyed that I'll be 31 when I have my first baby - and that's if we get PG straight away. I don't want my kids to have an ageing mum.
I nearly cried yesterday when I found a thick grey hair right by my forehead !
All I could think was... my body's getting old and I haven't got a family yet...

Just wondered... why Feb 09 and not now?

 

[ellie]

ohh, now i'm feeling depressed and old ... ttc ~1 at 36 (will be 37 soon) ... i don't think you girls need to worry about being 'ageing mums'! having said that, i think i was more panicked about it a few years ago, wierdly i feel more relaxed about it now (maybe because more settled and prepared) in other areas of life. most of the stuff i've read and advice i've heard makes more of being fit and healthy and that age (until about early 40's I think) apparently has little effect for complications. At least I hope that's true .........

 

[cazd]

Hiya Ellie - I guess its easy to forget that 30s isn't old...
Especially when there are so many broody teens and early 20s on this forum!

I don't know if it makes me a bad person but....
I like to think that the statistics are skewed by ladies in their 40s who've had 20+ years of drinking, smoking and taking drugs.
Its like when I see other people on their motorbikes - riding like idiots...
I think... you're the statistic!

 

[Rumpskin]

Hey sweets

I am 37 and hopefully will be a first time mum this year too xxxx

 

[Timid]

It's nice to know there are more ladies out there ttc their first !! I still think most women on this site are under 30 - at least that's what it seems to be with those who're actually posting!

 

[NuttyJester]

Hi all,

I turned 35 last month and ttc #1. Mid-December we decided to started ttc in Spring, and then *forgot* the Spring bit and went for it!

Think I've panicked really, I want two children, and like many, don't want to be grey when they're teenagers!



Oh, and I live in the countryside, river beside the house, mountain opposite, the lot! Lady who lives behind me had #1 of 2 at 45+ too... But then, I guess there aren't any 20somethings in our village that I could compare us too!!

 

[eclipse]

I had my son when I was 31, and now am....*counts from birthday because she always forgets* 33, and planning to ttc in the next few months. You have plenty of support from us on this forum

 

[cazd]

Mid-December we decided to started ttc in Spring, and then *forgot* the Spring bit and went for it!

Us too!! We said we'd give ourselves 3 months to get our bodies ready but I can't wait that long! We're being super-healthy and trying 'properly' next cycle.

Good Luck to all of you!

 

[NuttyJester]

LOL Exactly what we thought... I need to lose weight, OH needs to take Zinc, etc. etc., but $%^&*, people have been getting pregnant for thousands of years without knowing all this stuff, and had healthy kids, so we're being almost-super-healthy (AF here so figured I can eat chips/cheese/chocs & have a little drink for another week or so!)

LOVE your avatar btw, a Border Collie?

 

[Hobnob]

Glad to see there are some other 'older' WTTers on here. I'll be 33 by the time we start trying.

 

[Tishimouse]

Blimey - when your post said Older I thought you meant 45+ Waaaah! I'm 46.

I know what you mean though... I'm 30 and my biological clock is well and truly ticking! Mine needs new batteries I think.

The magic 35 is quickly approaching.Oh pants, I'm well and truly past my best.

The books all say that if you're under 35 then try to conceive naturally for 12 months before seeking alternatives, but between 35-40 they suggest 6 months.This is all true, I've read them all and on a positive note there are lots of books for women in their 40's with high FSH that are encouraging, educational and inspirational.

I'm annoyed that I'll be 31 when I have my first baby - and that's if we get PG straight away. I don't want my kids to have an ageing mum.I worry about this myself. But on a positive note, if I did have a child at 47 say, by the time they are 8 years old I could take my pension from work (we can retire at 55 in my job); I would then be in a position to work from home if I choose using my qualifications and I already have healthy savings & investments to provide for my (possible) child. My Dad for example is 74 and still very agile and energetic. My child would be 27 when I'm 74 and I can see that working OK. Not ideal, but still feasible..

I nearly cried yesterday when I found a thick grey hair right by my forehead !
All I could think was... my body's getting old and I haven't got a family yet... I laughed out loud when I read this as I hate grey hair too. My brother went grey in his 20's but I'm a bit luckier. Getting old or older is no fun at all, but hopefully you will feel better by comparing yourself to me ... I'm ancient by your standards.

I've plucked out this post because it's the one that made me laugh the most. In relation to TTC, I am everything you don't want to be so I'm kind of hoping I'll make you feel a whole lot better.

We are all different but we all have a common goal, with different width goal posts. We all, also want something we haven't got and in my case I've got something I don't want (an old birth certificate although thank God it's not in Latin; high FSH and even a few grey hairs). However, to make myself feel better I think it's important for me to add that I have a wonderful home life, loving husband, extended family, a good career and qualifications, a well balanced personality, a positive attitude and I'm fit and healthy.

Sending you all some for your respective journeys and hoping 2009 makes your dreams come true.

 

[NuttyJester]

Were any of you anti-babies before now? I was, and I really still feel quite odd about it all. Everyone I know knows that I don't want kids... but OH and I are now trying, it'll be strange, not exciting, telling them all, and I've never been into other people's babies or anything, don't look longingly at the kids' clothes in Asda, work with kids all day and have no cravings! Fingers crossed this changes, or I allow myself to change maybe... if I get over the weirdness of telling people the opposite of what they think, maybe I'll get excited and start choosing names, looking at clothes etc.?

 

[Belgiansunset]

NuttyJester what made you change your mind? I don't think I ever ruled out having kids, I always knew I would eventually but for the last few years I hadn't been bothered and was just enjoying my freedom. But it happened fairly suddenly that I decided I was ready, I'm not sure what triggered it. I suppose our friends are starting to think about it (and some are pregnant) so it's something that comes up more often in conversation, and means it's on my mind more.

 

[Timid]

I definitely changed my mind. I always thought that I would never ever get married or have children. Up til I was 29 or so, I was quite happy being a serial monogamist(sp!) and travelling the world meeting people, working hard & playing hard.

I then met my OH in a nightclub of all places - he was a friend of a friend, and we fell in love. (aww!)

Anyway, till I met my OH, I hadn't met anyone who I could actually see myself Marrying or having children with - the OH is absolutely the right person, and I know we'll be very happy together We're on Year 3 now!

He's gone from not too keen to have children to wanting them ASAP but he's got a degree in biology focusing on genetics so knows a thing or two about the whole thing and I guess that's why he wants us to start trying now as I'm 32 and he understands the risks with waiting too long - I mean I know it's possible to have babies as late as 50 or more, but my mum had an early menopause so I guess it's more important that we get going soon!

Coming towards the end of this cycle, due soon, so we'll soon be waiting for a


Good Luck to everyone else trying too!

 

[Mork]

Hey Timid, Nice to find someone in the same situation! I am 32 and TTC for the first time, although DH has 2 children from first marriage. We came off the pill on 31st December, so have just reached end of period and lights are now green to go! Feeling emotional - scared, excited, worried, apprehensive and sooooo jealous of those who are pg already!! Good luck to you come february! Mork x

 

[cazd]

I'm 30 and my biological clock is well and truly ticking! Mine needs new batteries I think.
I've plucked out this post because it's the one that made me laugh the most. In relation to TTC, I am everything you don't want to be so I'm kind of hoping I'll make you feel a whole lot better.

Thanks! - and Yes... you've cheered me up.
I don't know if its hormones - but I want to start my new family NOW !!!

Its easy to forget that there really is plenty of time...

 

[cazd]

Were any of you anti-babies before now? I was, and I really still feel quite odd about it all. Everyone I know knows that I don't want kids... but OH and I are now trying, it'll be strange, not exciting, telling them all, and I've never been into other people's babies or anything, don't look longingly at the kids' clothes in Asda, work with kids all day and have no cravings! Fingers crossed this changes, or I allow myself to change maybe... if I get over the weirdness of telling people the opposite of what they think, maybe I'll get excited and start choosing names, looking at clothes etc.?

I'd never day-dreamed about being a mum - or even really thought about it.
Seeing other peoples babies and looking at baby clothes etc just doesn't do it for me. - it never has. I'm not the 'Mother Earth' type.

But... I turned 30 last year and a very close relative was diagnosed with cancer and something inside my brain just switched. I became the definition of BROODY !!

I still don't coo over other peoples babies but I'm sooo excited about our first month of TTC in a couple of weeks!

Sounds like there'll be a few of us starting with Cycle 1 in January !