On the road again... a place for women getting into the TTC groove again.

[Carybear]

Hi all... I have a stomach u/s scheduled for tomorrow... I can't eat all day, but hoping that I possibly get a few answers... I am 13 dpo and I have very sore BB's, twinges in my belly, and severe heartburn - which I never get... I actually had to take heartburn medicine last night... Hoping its a good sign...

 

[aknqtpie]

Carybear - I am having similar symptoms.. When are you testing?

Good luck tomorrow!

 

[RedWylder]

I hope you ladies get good news. But if you do, I hope I get to join you. I don't wanna be left behind . I'm such baby, lol. I just wish all my friends could get pregnant with me or I could get pregnant with them because it's so hard to relate to preggo people right now.

 

[Carybear]

I def understand Red... Sending

Aknqtpie... I was going to test on the 14th... Hoping that I don't chicken out... I am 14 dpo right now... So I guess we'll see

The heartburn is the worst! Today I woke up feeling a little nauseous... A bad thing since I can't eat all day because of the stomach us...

 

[RedWylder]

Ok I'm confused. I had crosshairs on the 21st but then continued to get a bit of EWCM after that date. Because of this FF moved my O date to the 23rd. I'm not sure what day to use for deciding when is 7-10 days post ovulation.

Which date do you think is most likely?

 

[Carybear]

I wish I could help red... Maybe you could take the 22 (the middle one).. I used OPK's for the first time this month and I seem to ovulate about five days after the surge of ewcm. I never realized it was that late!

 

[RedWylder]

UGH! I'm feeling depressed. Today, for whatever reason, I feel like quitting and giving up. It just feels like this cycle of trying is never going to end. I think it's because I'm in my tww and I know that I can't really be pregnant so I'm getting down like I normally do when AF comes. I'd say next month will be my month but that seems so far away.

End pity party. I hope you guys are feeling better than me. Cary any word on the u/s?

 

[Starry Night]

Red - I'm going to be hanging about for a bit. I don't even ovulate until the 26th so even if this is my lucky cycle I won't find out until the middle of March.

 

[aknqtpie]

Cary - How did the u/s go??

Red - I know hon.. the waiting is the worst part

 

[Topanga053]

UGH! I'm feeling depressed. Today, for whatever reason, I feel like quitting and giving up. It just feels like this cycle of trying is never going to end. I think it's because I'm in my tww and I know that I can't really be pregnant so I'm getting down like I normally do when AF comes. I'd say next month will be my month but that seems so far away.

End pity party. I hope you guys are feeling better than me. Cary any word on the u/s?

I hope you're feeling better today hun. The down days are the worst.

I was talking to a classmate of mine whose wife miscarried before she had their daughter. I was telling him how I felt the same way you did (i.e. discouraged, like it was just never going to happen for us and my whole life would be a cycle of TTC and miscarriage). His response really resonated with me: "Yes, of course you feel that way. Right now, you're 0 for 1. You have a zero percent success rate, so it's only natural that you feel like it's never going to change. But it will."

It was nice to have someone validate my fears as subjectively normal, but still remind me that I only feel that way because of my prior experiences, not because that's actually going to be my future.

I hope that makes sense!

Cary-- updates????

 

[Carybear]

Red - dont give up yet... People get pregnant at weird times and you never know... All the tests, websites, and advice can't really tell you exactly when you ovulated. I know it's hard.. I'm going on 2 1/2 years with one loss.. I was thinking that I'd be close to five months now. But... I was on thyroid medicine that is not great for a baby and now I'm off of it... So everything has its time.

So true Topanga! What has happened in the past is not ALWAYS going to happen...

AFM the us went ok yesterday.. I couldn't see anything, and she asked me what the dr thought it was... But that was it... She did a lot of picture taking... Said the dr would have the results in a couple of days..

I have a saline sonogram scheduled for the 25th. The drs way of looking at infertility without coding it that way for insurance.

I still have so many symptoms. I woke up this morning feeling nauseous. As long as I am eating little bits, it seems to stay away for the most part. But, if I go without eating it gets pretty bad. I'm going to test either tomorrow or Thursday.

 

[Topanga053]

No news is usually good news, Cary! Glad to hear that it went fairly well. Definitely tell us when you learn the results!!

 

[RedWylder]

I'm anxious to hear what the doc says!

Topanga- thanks for sharing! I'm sure that is absolutely why we all feel like poo. We don't have a good track record.

So I'm feeling a tad better today, still not 100% though. Does anyone else have daydreams about being preggo and feeling their baby move? As I've been day dreaming lately, I've seemed to focus on that particular moment when you first feel your baby move. This is the part I look forward to the most. It must be such a weird-wonderful feeling. I found myself staring at my pregnant coworkers belly wondering if her baby was moving right then and thinking about that incredible bond they share. Sigh...our time will come.

^^This is one of those things I couldn't hope for my hubby to understand. He wants us to have a baby too but he wouldn't understand my longings. This is probably because he will never carry the baby.

 

[Topanga053]

Yes, I imagine all of the time what it must feel like to be pregnant and to feel your baby move. After all of this, I'm pretty sure I will burst out in tears the first time I finally get to feel that!!!!

 

[RedWylder]

It will be such a sweet sweet moment when that happens for us. It will be worth the wait and that much better because of it!

 

[Starry Night]

UGH! I'm feeling depressed. Today, for whatever reason, I feel like quitting and giving up. It just feels like this cycle of trying is never going to end. I think it's because I'm in my tww and I know that I can't really be pregnant so I'm getting down like I normally do when AF comes. I'd say next month will be my month but that seems so far away.

End pity party. I hope you guys are feeling better than me. Cary any word on the u/s?

I hope you're feeling better today hun. The down days are the worst.

I was talking to a classmate of mine whose wife miscarried before she had their daughter. I was telling him how I felt the same way you did (i.e. discouraged, like it was just never going to happen for us and my whole life would be a cycle of TTC and miscarriage). His response really resonated with me: "Yes, of course you feel that way. Right now, you're 0 for 1. You have a zero percent success rate, so it's only natural that you feel like it's never going to change. But it will."

It was nice to have someone validate my fears as subjectively normal, but still remind me that I only feel that way because of my prior experiences, not because that's actually going to be my future.

I hope that makes sense!

Cary-- updates????

I had the same thing happen after my first miscarriage. Dh and I were speaking with his cousin's husband and he shared how he and dh's cousin had a miscarriage early in their marriage. He shared how his wife became severely depressed and they both felt they would never have kids.

"And look at us now. We have a mini-van full of them" (they have 3 kids). It was such a great thing to hear. We were still fresh in our grief and DH had just had his brother tell him we have to accept we might never have kids earlier that day. It really is such a validation of your feelings to know it's normal to feel like you're never going to get your turn and that it's OK to be very sad about what you lost.

We do have a kid now and I'm trying to hang on to that as hope for a growing family. My track record is still 1 for 3 with a lost twin to go with the one "victory" but I know I have had a baby. There seems to be no reason to suggest I won't again.

Speaking of which, last night I dreamed I was big and pregnant--about as big as I should be right now with my Sweet Pea. However, I knew it was my Rainbow inside of me. I felt (and saw!) the baby moving inside of me. It was one of the most realistic dreams I have had in a long, long time. Even when I started to wake up this morning I could still feel the movements. I had to shake myself fully awake for them to stop. In my dream I was terrified of losing it but the movements gave me hope.

 

[Topanga053]

I had the same thing happen after my first miscarriage. Dh and I were speaking with his cousin's husband and he shared how he and dh's cousin had a miscarriage early in their marriage. He shared how his wife became severely depressed and they both felt they would never have kids.

"And look at us now. We have a mini-van full of them" (they have 3 kids).

Aww thank you for sharing, Starry! It is still soooo nice to hear that other people felt the exact same way I do now and ended up ok! It's also nice to have confirmation that it's normal to be severely depressed/anxious after a miscarriage. Even my friends who have had miscarriages have been very private about the emotional part of the experience and a lot of my closest friends have never had one and DH can't entirely relate to my grief/anxiety, so I often feel very lonely. I often feel like I'm the only woman who's still depressed/terrified months after a miscarriage. So nice to be reminded that's not the case!

 

[Starry Night]

I'm glad the story helped you.

 

[Carybear]

We will get there... Feeling our babies move... Holding them in our arms... We will love them so much more because of the hard work it took to get them.. We always appreciate more when we have to work hard.

How is everyone?

Still waiting for us results... Calling today.

POAS this morning and could barely see a line. Wouldn't show up in pics... Not much color so thinking could be an evap. Well test again in two days... Started feeling nauseous a couple of days ago... As long as I eat, I am fine... But sweet things make me feel sick...

Guess we'll see... My mom had a dream that I had delivered a little boy but he was big! She said he looked like he was already three months old. Funny thing is I have been having pregnancy symptoms since December 1st... Interesting huh?

 

[RedWylder]

Yay Cary! I hope you get your rainbow! I tested this morning at 8dpo and got a bfn. Like I've said before there is tiny tiny tiny chance that I could actually be preggo but I'm not expecting it.

I had my progesterone test yesterday so I'm waiting on hearing back from the doc about that.

Oh and thanks for sharing Starry! I know what you say is true. It's just so hard to think positive.