"Only female volunteers over 18 can change diapers"....

[onetwothreebp]

Reading some of these comments make me so sad for my little boy's future.

agreed i understand the comments but i feel bad for my lo

although i laughed at the church who pages parents when their kid poos... the way my kid pooed as a baby, i'd be better off just staying in the nursery with him!

 

[Banshee]

I think that anyone who was volunteering to work with the children should be criminal record checked and there should be precautions in place such as working in pairs etc rather than there being a blanket ban on males. I do wonder if it is even legal but I really don't know.
There are many theories as to why there are statistically more male sex offenders than females but also the possibility of under reporting of offences by females because if societal views that women are not 'capable' or 'inclined' to commit this type of offence yet anyone who is aware of the Little Teds Nursery case in Plymouth will know this is not the case.
I find it very sad that attitudes towards men working with children push some very good men away from this work and has lead to the UK having a serious issue with having no male teachers in some primary schools where it would be beneficial to children to have positive male role models as well as female ones.
Anyway to sum up, I definitely feel there should be safeguarding rules in place for everyone rather than blanket bans on one gender.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I find it sad, and sexist, but unfortunately necessary.

 

[AngelofTroy]

Am I really the only one who finds this incredibly sexist?! I get that we have to be cautious and protect children, but women can abuse too! Banning men because it's apparently more commonly men who are paedophiles seems backwards to me. What if research suggested that more child abusers were blond? Would it be just as acceptable to see a sign stating "brunette volunteers only to change nappies"?
Approving of this sign seems to me to defend the sort of ignorant, discriminatory attitude that leads to black men being stopped more by police.
I'd hate to have to explain to my son that people think him capable of disgusting behaviour simply because he's male.
Have a policy that no volunteers change nappies, or that they all need a background check or work in pairs by all means, but don't tar all men with the same horrible brush.

so you are telling me if the police in your neighborhood said there is a blond woman climbing in peoples windows at night and stealing children...you would be totally indifferent when a blond woman walks by your window? You wouldn't keep an eye on her just in case?

I think it is silly to put that kind of generality on everything because the world isn't so fluffy and nice. If it was proven that blond women were raping children in my neighborhood, yup I'd probably not be hiring the blond babysitter. And I would think it would be stupid on someone's part to ignore key information like that just because they wanted to be politically correct and socially accepted. *shrugs*


unfortunatly it is not blonds, its men that are more likely to be raping children. Not saying women don't do it. But statistically it's men, and men you know, not strangers. I am not saying glare at every man and shame them for even being in a room with a child. Am just saying, be aware, and don't just trust a person cuz they are friendly.

I in no way suggested the world was "fluffy and nice", I'd vote for background checks on all volunteers. but this is prejudice and it perpetuates a stereotype! If a blond woman was climbing in windows stealing babies then I would put better locks on my windows, not glare suspiciously at every blond woman I saw and gossip about it being weird for her to want to work with children and it might mean there's something wrong with her!

My brother and my dad both change and bath LO and there is nothing weird about it. I also work with children with special needs (many of whom wear incontinence pads and ofed changing) and there are some fantastic male support workers and teachers where I work. They're great role models for the kids and I think there would be more men in there roles if it weren't for people like you perpetuating stereotypes. They passed stringent background checks of course, just like I did.

 

[AngelofTroy]

Am I really the only one who finds this incredibly sexist?! I get that we have to be cautious and protect children, but women can abuse too! Banning men because it's apparently more commonly men who are paedophiles seems backwards to me. What if research suggested that more child abusers were blond? Would it be just as acceptable to see a sign stating "brunette volunteers only to change nappies"?
Approving of this sign seems to me to defend the sort of ignorant, discriminatory attitude that leads to black men being stopped more by police.
I'd hate to have to explain to my son that people think him capable of disgusting behaviour simply because he's male.
Have a policy that no volunteers change nappies, or that they all need a background check or work in pairs by all means, but don't tar all men with the same horrible brush.

so you are telling me if the police in your neighborhood said there is a blond woman climbing in peoples windows at night and stealing children...you would be totally indifferent when a blond woman walks by your window? You wouldn't keep an eye on her just in case?

I think it is silly to put that kind of generality on everything because the world isn't so fluffy and nice. If it was proven that blond women were raping children in my neighborhood, yup I'd probably not be hiring the blond babysitter. And I would think it would be stupid on someone's part to ignore key information like that just because they wanted to be politically correct and socially accepted. *shrugs*


unfortunatly it is not blonds, its men that are more likely to be raping children. Not saying women don't do it. But statistically it's men, and men you know, not strangers. I am not saying glare at every man and shame them for even being in a room with a child. Am just saying, be aware, and don't just trust a person cuz they are friendly.

I in no way suggested the world was "fluffy and nice", I'd vote for background checks on all volunteers. but this is prejudice and it perpetuates a stereotype! If a blond woman was climbing in windows stealing babies then I would put better locks on my windows, not glare suspiciously at every blond woman I saw and gossip about it being weird for her to want to work with children and it might mean there's something wrong with her! (If I did I might just miss the redhead sneaking past me looking oh so innocent! )

My brother and my dad both change and bath LO and there is nothing weird about it. I also work with children with special needs (many of whom wear incontinence pads and ofed changing) and there are some fantastic male support workers and teachers where I work. They're great role models for the kids and I think there would be more men in there roles if it weren't for people like you perpetuating stereotypes. They passed stringent background checks of course, just like I did.

 

[KittiKat76]

We had this issue at the nursery i worked at for 5 years. We had a male worker join the team, fully qualified, crb police checked, the kids loved him and so did the staff. But when he started you can imagine the uproar from a few parents. But most didn't care. He didn't have nappies to change as he was in with the pre-school kids, but he did have to do group toilet runs.

 

[My_First]

I don't know, it's a sad reflection on society when we have to say things like this. If it okay for grandfathers to do it or siblings? Statistically abusers are more likely to be a relative of some description. I believe the statistics is over 90%. (On my phone do can't look it up at the moment).

 

[carlyjade86]

I'm hard pushed to get OH to change a nappy of his own offspring - nevermind someone else's! And that took him about 5 weeks as he was scared, as was I! Little girl changes are far more intimate feeling than little boy ones. We are both over it now, but I can't blame the sign for sayin woman only. I don't know what man in his right mind would actively volunteer for bum changing anyways - not one who lives with me!

 

[bumpy_j]

We had a paedophile ring in this country that was made up of nearly all women including a nursery worker and a mum who performed acts on her own children for photos.

Anyway, it's horribly sexist! I find it hypocritical that we always talk about female sexism but male sexism gets thrown under the carpet as justifiable. I don't think we take into account nearly enough how we're making men feel as a whole with this sort of attitude. Paedophiles are hugely in the minority of society as it is and to vilify all men who want to work with children is awful. If it's your personal feeling that you don't want a man left alone with your child - tell the staff. It shouldn't be a blanket rule.

 

[lozzy21]

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

 

[jenkins]

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

Really? How do you know this info? Genuine question

X

 

[preggymammy]

Depends on the situation... if the male changing the nappy is the babies Dad/Grandad/Brother then I see no issue. If the male changing the nappy is of extended family or someone who isn't related or connected to the child at all, then I have a problem.

Age isn't an issue either, I was changing my baby brothers nappy when I was like 14/15 years old (that is because I wanted to help not because my Mam made me do it or anything). But ofcourse I was supervised with being so young myself. - saying that though i'm a girl... as someone else pointed out earlier, why would a teenage boy want to change a nappy? I asked my baby brother (who is now 9) jokingly if he wanted to change LOs nappy, he looked horrified at the thought and said no

I think it's a shame that men feel uncomfortable being in an environment where there's children around for fear of being accused of being a pedo but at the same time I guess we can't be too careful.

 

[lozzy21]

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

Really? How do you know this info? Genuine question

X

When i was doing my childcare NVQ we had to do safeguarding training and it was an ex-police woman doing it. We were told then and it all ways stuck with me.

 

[bumpbear]

Totally ridiculous in my view! LO's dad, uncles, male cousin and grandpa have all changed her nappy at some point. I have no problem with a male worker changing my LO as long as he's had the same security checks as the female workers. I also have no problem with a teen changing LO's nappy as long as they know what they're doing! My brother was 13 when our youngest sister was born, and he was on nappy changing duty when we babysat for our parents just like the rest of us sisters were. Totally nothing wrong with males having an interest in all aspects of child care.

 

[Missy86]

That's so sad, I to fear for my boys growing up where all men are seen as being Pedos

 

[preggymammy]

I think that anyone who was volunteering to work with the children should be criminal record checked and there should be precautions in place such as working in pairs etc rather than there being a blanket ban on males. I do wonder if it is even legal but I really don't know.
There are many theories as to why there are statistically more male sex offenders than females but also the possibility of under reporting of offences by females because if societal views that women are not 'capable' or 'inclined' to commit this type of offence yet anyone who is aware of the Little Teds Nursery case in Plymouth will know this is not the case.
I find it very sad that attitudes towards men working with children push some very good men away from this work and has lead to the UK having a serious issue with having no male teachers in some primary schools where it would be beneficial to children to have positive male role models as well as female ones.
Anyway to sum up, I definitely feel there should be safeguarding rules in place for everyone rather than blanket bans on one gender.

I'm a trainee primary school teacher so I have worked in a fair few primary schools and I have yet to go to one that doesn't have at least one male member of staff... albeit they all tend to work with the older kids, not with with to 4-7 year olds...
Also on my course there are about 10 men in my year group alone. There are more in the other year groups and in other universities... male teachers are on the rise in primary schools!!

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

I'm not sure on this one... I might be ok with him taking care of the kids as there will be other members of staff around him, so really he wouldn't be alone. But the nappy changes... erm nope!! Slightly o/t but when I registered at my local hospital for the birth the one question I specifically asked was do you have any male midwifes... they said yes... i said please put in my notes that I do not want him taking care of me when in labour. I'm sure he was a lovely chap but I didn't want him looking at my girly bits or shoving his hand up there. Looking back on it now i'm glad I requested this because even when I wasn't pushing LO out my downstairs were on show alot and I would have freaked if a man (other than DH) was in the room!

...back to the male child care worker, LOs gender doesn't make a difference to me, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with some bloke dealing with my LOs bits and pieces!!

 

[AngelofTroy]

I don't know what man in his right mind would actively volunteer for bum changing anyways - not one who lives with me!

saying that though i'm a girl... as someone else pointed out earlier, why would a teenage boy want to change a nappy? I asked my baby brother (who is now 9) jokingly if he wanted to change LOs nappy, he looked horrified at the thought and said no

If you work in childcare then changing nappies is part of the job, whether you're male or female! I doubt anyone goes into the job think "ooo yippee, I get to change nappies and wipe bums" but there are lovely, rewarding parts to the job that make it worthwhile. I've also been hit, scratched, bitten, been vomited on, and had to clean up a boy who'd smeared faeces all over himself.. does it make me 'weird' for still wanting to do my job?? I do it for the pride in their achieving something small, for when a boy with no communication suddenly signs something back to me, for when the 7 year old takes his first step without a walking frame, for the smile on a young girl's face when she realises she can use a switch to control her surroundings. My male colleagues are exactly the same.

 

[My_First]

I think that anyone who was volunteering to work with the children should be criminal record checked and there should be precautions in place such as working in pairs etc rather than there being a blanket ban on males. I do wonder if it is even legal but I really don't know.
There are many theories as to why there are statistically more male sex offenders than females but also the possibility of under reporting of offences by females because if societal views that women are not 'capable' or 'inclined' to commit this type of offence yet anyone who is aware of the Little Teds Nursery case in Plymouth will know this is not the case.
I find it very sad that attitudes towards men working with children push some very good men away from this work and has lead to the UK having a serious issue with having no male teachers in some primary schools where it would be beneficial to children to have positive male role models as well as female ones.
Anyway to sum up, I definitely feel there should be safeguarding rules in place for everyone rather than blanket bans on one gender.

I'm a trainee primary school teacher so I have worked in a fair few primary schools and I have yet to go to one that doesn't have at least one male member of staff... albeit they all tend to work with the older kids, not with with to 4-7 year olds...
Also on my course there are about 10 men in my year group alone. There are more in the other year groups and in other universities... male teachers are on the rise in primary schools!!

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

I'm not sure on this one... I might be ok with him taking care of the kids as there will be other members of staff around him, so really he wouldn't be alone. But the nappy changes... erm nope!! Slightly o/t but when I registered at my local hospital for the birth the one question I specifically asked was do you have any male midwifes... they said yes... i said please put in my notes that I do not want him taking care of me when in labour. I'm sure he was a lovely chap but I didn't want him looking at my girly bits or shoving his hand up there. Looking back on it now i'm glad I requested this because even when I wasn't pushing LO out my downstairs were on show alot and I would have freaked if a man (other than DH) was in the room!

...back to the male child care worker, LOs gender doesn't make a difference to me, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with some bloke dealing with my LOs bits and pieces!!

I totally respect that some people don't want to be examined by a man. However I don't understand it. I am assuming its because its the opposite sex and one would be concerned about them thinking more than just a patient? (I am guessing by the way, so do correct me if I'm wrong). If that was the case, would it be the same if the midwife was a lesbian? Do you think she should have to declare her sexual orientation?

Please don't think I'm getting at you, I am genuinely curious.

 

[preggymammy]

I think that anyone who was volunteering to work with the children should be criminal record checked and there should be precautions in place such as working in pairs etc rather than there being a blanket ban on males. I do wonder if it is even legal but I really don't know.
There are many theories as to why there are statistically more male sex offenders than females but also the possibility of under reporting of offences by females because if societal views that women are not 'capable' or 'inclined' to commit this type of offence yet anyone who is aware of the Little Teds Nursery case in Plymouth will know this is not the case.
I find it very sad that attitudes towards men working with children push some very good men away from this work and has lead to the UK having a serious issue with having no male teachers in some primary schools where it would be beneficial to children to have positive male role models as well as female ones.
Anyway to sum up, I definitely feel there should be safeguarding rules in place for everyone rather than blanket bans on one gender.

I'm a trainee primary school teacher so I have worked in a fair few primary schools and I have yet to go to one that doesn't have at least one male member of staff... albeit they all tend to work with the older kids, not with with to 4-7 year olds...
Also on my course there are about 10 men in my year group alone. There are more in the other year groups and in other universities... male teachers are on the rise in primary schools!!

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

I'm not sure on this one... I might be ok with him taking care of the kids as there will be other members of staff around him, so really he wouldn't be alone. But the nappy changes... erm nope!! Slightly o/t but when I registered at my local hospital for the birth the one question I specifically asked was do you have any male midwifes... they said yes... i said please put in my notes that I do not want him taking care of me when in labour. I'm sure he was a lovely chap but I didn't want him looking at my girly bits or shoving his hand up there. Looking back on it now i'm glad I requested this because even when I wasn't pushing LO out my downstairs were on show alot and I would have freaked if a man (other than DH) was in the room!

...back to the male child care worker, LOs gender doesn't make a difference to me, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with some bloke dealing with my LOs bits and pieces!!

I totally respect that some people don't want to be examined by a man. However I don't understand it. I am assuming its because its the opposite sex and one would be concerned about them thinking more than just a patient? (I am guessing by the way, so do correct me if I'm wrong). If that was the case, would it be the same if the midwife was a lesbian? Do you think she should have to declare her sexual orientation?

Please don't think I'm getting at you, I am genuinely curious.

I don't know, I just don't feel comfortable with men and 'down there'. Like when I go for a smear I request a female doctor. If there was an emergency when I was in labour and a doctor had to come and assist and he happened to be male then fair enough, if he's going to save my and my LOs life then that's fine. But for a normal problem-free labour... if you have a penis you're not welcome!
Maybe it's because men never experience pregnancy/childbirth so it's like you haven't got a clue, how can you possibly look after me/comfort me. I don't know, maybe it's irrational or stupid of me but i'm just not ok with it. I've always wondered why one earth a man would want to specialise in dealing with lady parts... I mean if I was to become a doctor I wouldn't wake up one day and be like I want to study mens bits etc etc...

With LOs bum changes, maybe it's because women have that natural maternal, take-care-of-child instinct that men don't? Dunno.

 

[robinator]

I wrote the post on page 1 about parents being paged for things and only a female can accompany into the bathroom...

I should add that there are plenty of male volunteers in nursery, too, both adults and teens/tweens. Since NO volunteer changes diapers at our church, should we all feel shunned? lol. No skin off my nose to have a nappy-free hour and a half while I volunteer. Anyway, only twice in all the months I've been there has a kid needed their diaper changed, so it's not really an issue.