OT (a little) - Christening Advice? Anybody NOT and why? POLL

[hayz_baby]

Neither me or oh r christians and therefore will not b christening lo mainly coz it is hypocritical and we will not b raising lo in a christian environment it doesnt seem right. Also wud like lo to choose his own faith if any.
Bil had his youngest christened with his partner (eldest two r not hers) but r not raising lo in as a christian so seems wrong to us. The christening caused alot of tension in the family (other reasons centered round the christening not because lo was christened) so it still jus doeant feel right to us

 

[Button#]

Nope, we're atheists. We considered a humanist naming ceremony but we probably won't bother.

 

[chocolala]

No, we're both atheist, so Lily won't be baptised, much to my mother's disgust!

 

[Amygdala]

We're atheists so no christening for us. Might have a short ceremony for her guardians on her first birthday but nothing religious. Luckily none of our family care too much but if they did, we'd still stand by our choice. A christening is for promising to bring up a child the Christian way, which would be a complete lie coming for us. So out of respect for people who do believe I would never have a christening "just because" or to please the family. We didn't have a church wedding for much the same reasons.

 

[tristansmum]

i'm not religious and neither is my husband. my family are fine with this as my brother and i were never christianed. oh family want us too much dont push it. i dont think we will as it would be doing it for the sake of it which is pointless.

 

[Starry Night]

Many thanks for all of your very interesting replies -- as I said (page 2), I really like the idea of a dedication ceremony rather than a baptism. I was baptised but again, it was back in the 1960s, so the norm. I was confirmed CofE as an adult and have felt the intellectual aspect/debate was really rewarding (at university) --

will see what my OH says....anyone who did the dedication service, was it a particular church (e.g. would a Catholic or Church of Ireland priest/minister be willing?) or humanist approach?

Incidentially, we're not doing it for the big party (it will be just close family and a few friends)! But, my entire American family (parents and brother) are coming over to meet LO in end of July, so it seems convenient since LO will be about six months old and if we were going to have LO christened, then it would make sense to do it with all the grandparents there........

thanks, again....!

best wishes

I believe a lot of evangelical churches do dedication services (I was dedicated as an infant at a Mennonite church and we dedicated our DS at a 'Bible Church'). However, I don't think it's one of those ceremonies that is done for just anyone. I'm not sure--I'd have to check with our church policy--but I think the parents need to be members of the church. That, at least, has been the norm. Christenings are traditionally more pervasive in our pop culture like weddings, etc. The point of dedication was to get away from mere ceremony and I think the church leaders would want you to be serious in your promise to raise the child Christian. Also, dedications involves the congregation of the church promising to help you as you raise your child. It's meant to be a two-way street.

To get started, usually someone will go up to the pastor and say they'd like to have their child dedicated and then he will make announcements from the pulpit to open up the dedication to other parents who would be interested. So, you could find a church that does dedications and ask the pastor/minister if they would be willing to dedicate your child. There aren't any fees (I didn't pay anything) and the dedication makes up about 5 to 10 minutes of the service...depending on how many babies are being dedicated. The pastor and/or elders prays for each couple and baby and then the mother gets a flower.

 

[Debbie82]

Both me and oh are Catholics so it's a definite. However, I don't live my life to the letter of my religion and adapt in to the modern day society we live in

I want my children to decide for themselves but if theyre never offered religion then they're not likely to chose. I feel they have more choice having religion as they can chose not to follow iykwim.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Not christening here. Not religious

 

[SabrinaKat]

I agree with you Debbie82 (love your LO's name as well!) -- I do want religion in my LO's life and hopefully, he will be given the tools to make his own decisions as he grows up, exposed to both faiths, but essentially Christian (and no offence, hopefully, to other faiths, e.g. Jewish or Muslims, who are reading this thread and others, such as pagan, agnostic, etc)....

Thank you again to everybody who has responded and to the several private messages, offering some suggestions -- I also want to say that my OH and I are having a lively debate, not argument about this, so it's good for me also to show him the poll responses as to how 'society' today looks at christening....

best wishes

 

[Skadi]

I had Keira baptised. We did argue about it as OH is Seventh Day Adventist and I'm Anglican. They baptise as adults where we do confirmation instead and baptise infants. I kind of vetoed the situation in the end as I wanted to compromise to at least have her Christened but he refused any conversation and I don't think fully understood the difference between his baptism and the one we do. His argument was that she should have a choice as to whether or not she be Christian. However Baptism is not a promise she will be Christian but rather that she be raised in a Christian household... which she will.

As Debbie said, she will not choose religion if it isn't even offered in the first place.

 

[patch2006uk]

I had Keira baptised. We did argue about it as OH is Seventh Day Adventist and I'm Anglican. They baptise as adults where we do confirmation instead and baptise infants. I kind of vetoed the situation in the end as I wanted to compromise to at least have her Christened but he refused any conversation and I don't think fully understood the difference between his baptism and the one we do. His argument was that she should have a choice as to whether or not she be Christian. However Baptism is not a promise she will be Christian but rather that she be raised in a Christian household... which she will.

As Debbie said, she will not choose religion if it isn't even offered in the first place.

Baptism is repentance of sins and the commitment to live a Christian life. It isn't a promise to grow up in a Christian household! I'm with your husband on this one.

Sorry to keep popping up, but infant baptism really baffles me.

 

[Skadi]

I had Keira baptised. We did argue about it as OH is Seventh Day Adventist and I'm Anglican. They baptise as adults where we do confirmation instead and baptise infants. I kind of vetoed the situation in the end as I wanted to compromise to at least have her Christened but he refused any conversation and I don't think fully understood the difference between his baptism and the one we do. His argument was that she should have a choice as to whether or not she be Christian. However Baptism is not a promise she will be Christian but rather that she be raised in a Christian household... which she will.

As Debbie said, she will not choose religion if it isn't even offered in the first place.

Baptism is repentance of sins and the commitment to live a Christian life. It isn't a promise to grow up in a Christian household! I'm with your husband on this one.

Sorry to keep popping up, but infant baptism really baffles me.

Um nothing in the entire Baptismal service for infants says anything about the baby having to be Christian. It is to bring the baby into the Christian community and for the parents and godparents to promise to raise the child Christian. It does NOT promise that the baby will be Christian. The parents have to promise they are Christian but that is the closest to that it gets. I suggest you read the actual service before making such assumptions. https://www.bcponline.org/

IF she decides to be Christian she can go through Confirmation which is when SHE will make her promise to be Christian.

 

[quirk]

We're not having him Christened because we're just not religious at all, but if my OH was, then I would probably have him Christened.

 

[patch2006uk]

I had Keira baptised. We did argue about it as OH is Seventh Day Adventist and I'm Anglican. They baptise as adults where we do confirmation instead and baptise infants. I kind of vetoed the situation in the end as I wanted to compromise to at least have her Christened but he refused any conversation and I don't think fully understood the difference between his baptism and the one we do. His argument was that she should have a choice as to whether or not she be Christian. However Baptism is not a promise she will be Christian but rather that she be raised in a Christian household... which she will.

As Debbie said, she will not choose religion if it isn't even offered in the first place.

Baptism is repentance of sins and the commitment to live a Christian life. It isn't a promise to grow up in a Christian household! I'm with your husband on this one.

Sorry to keep popping up, but infant baptism really baffles me.

Um nothing in the entire Baptismal service for infants says anything about the baby having to be Christian. It is to bring the baby into the Christian community and for the parents and godparents to promise to raise the child Christian. It does NOT promise that the baby will be Christian. The parents have to promise they are Christian but that is the closest to that it gets. I suggest you read the actual service before making such assumptions. https://www.bcponline.org/

IF she decides to be Christian she can go through Confirmation which is when SHE will make her promise to be Christian.

Where in the bible is that mentioned? Pretty sure Jesus didn't confirm people in the river Jordan, pretty sure it was a baptism...

I don't mean to be confrontational, but if you can actually find a chapter or verse in the bible that supports infant christening, I'd be interested to see it.

I grew up going to church every week. I got married in a CofE church. We go occasionally to services. I'm familiar with the service, and I think it's nonsense.

 

[patch2006uk]

Here's a link which pretty much says what I believe to be true

https://www.gotquestions.org/infant-baptism.html

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I don't think that because a child isn't raised in religion, it means they won't pick a belief system. I wasn't raised in the church/temple/mosque and I still chose my own belief system.

 

[babyhopes2010]

Hi,

Am struggling with possible christening issue -- my OH is Catholic and I'm Protestant and we can't meet in the middle, nor can my OH find a godmother (all his friends and close family are male!) on his side -- my brother is honorary godfather until christening or if we don't have one (if that makes sense)....Incidentially, absolutely NO pressure from family regarding christening, but in Ireland, it's more common than not, if that makes sense (not so much in USA where I live)....

I'm just curious -- did you have a christening or are planning one and why/why not....

Thanks

im english and protestant-dh is irish and his family catholic

 

[SabrinaKat]

so, babyhopes -- what are you/will you guys decide? (the poll doesn't tell me 'who' as I wanted it anonymous)

and to posters regarding infant baptism -- the issue, I hope, isn't the religion behind it but the ritual for babies.....(HUGS!)

best wishes

 

[patch2006uk]

so, babyhopes -- what are you/will you guys decide? (the poll doesn't tell me 'who' as I wanted it anonymous)

and to posters regarding infant baptism -- the issue, I hope, isn't the religion behind it but the ritual for babies.....(HUGS!)

best wishes

My issue with it is that it makes no sense. I can understand why you do it from a tradition sense, but religiously, it's on very shaky foundations IMO. It seems to have originally been thought of as an alternative to circumcision, as early Christians would have been traditionally Jewish, and used to performing a ceremony for a young infant.

I don't take issue with anyone choosing to christen their child, but I do wish people considered the logic of what they were doing first.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Patch, I'm usually one to agree with you, but I think that people have their own reasons for doing christenings and they shouldn't have to justify their logic.