Our journeys to baby #2

[deeee]

fxmummyduck - I feel ur pain. When you see other pregnant relatives, try to think of how much u r free now. Free from all pregnancy upsets and constraints... they will be so tired with pregnancy and kids and u r enjoying life with ur DS, you could just start jumping up and down with him, but they can't
I know this is no concellation but this is what comes to mind when I see my two cousins, each one carrying her newborn #4

AFM, I am having the worst time ovulating this month. I am in the beginning of my fertile window and I got into a fight with DH a couple of days ago. This means no BD-ing and we might just miss ovulation window altogether. I wish I could just pause our fight a little while so we can DTD and have a chance this month.

 

[FTale]

Huggles: Go preggy cravings! got my fx for you too Huggles. You have to be pregnant. Because tabasco on pizza is just not very appetizing to me.

FX: Awwww...... AF just can't get the message that we don't want her coming around for a good 9. I'm sorry about having to see your sister all pregnant. That would kill me right now if my sister who is close to age with me gets preggo again. My baby sister I don't care about as it'd be her first but the other sister would be on her second and she knows I'm trying but doesn't understand why it is so hard about it. I pray God gives you grace enough to smile and see the happiness in her eyes as a way to hold on to your sanity until you can be alone again. AS for the mum group....dear me, I am so sorry. I am nearly balling just thinking about it. What do you do? Say 'hi', tell them your story, hope they will respond and not disappear? Some could be having issues conceiving this time around and need some one to talk with. Tough call. Well on this site you are not alone. I really do pray you get pregnant with a happy healthy baby soon though...hope we all do...


AFM: I'm not a drinker but I cradling little cans of budlight strawberry margaritas. I'm not drunk..goodness, not even tipsy just feeling sick to my stomach with bad breath. I feel my stomach climb into my throat every now and then but I don't want to cry. You know? Its like every month you try everything that 'works' for some one else and what the 'book' tells you to do and I think I've peed on every test out there at this point. I'm in bed early too feeling like a crumb for not playing with my daughter more today. Its like nothing can ease this pain. I ran into so many babies and pregnant ladies today. I couldn't get away fast enough. I tried to hide it from my husband but he is so dang tall I realized he saw people coming before I did...at this point, I think he wants a baby more than I. The constant upset over having failed another month is wearing me down too. I don' t know where to find the will to try again.
Besides...
I don't know how to get pregnant nor can i afford some one else to get me pregnant with iui or ivf.

I know I am simply in a fit of feeling sorry for myself. But this is real life. So glad you ladies are here to share it with me.

 

[Huggles]

Witch arrived in the early hours of this morning

 

[Huggles]

FTale - sorry for the bfn. How is the landscaping going? Glad to hear you got so much done around the house this weekend. A productive weekend always leaves one feeling good. I hope the long meeting on Friday goes ok and af isn't too hard on you. Sorry you're feeling so incredibly down

Welcome Rach

FX - Sorry to hear the witch is getting you too. I hope meeting up with your sister goes ok. It really does suck when everyone around us gets pregnant so easily and we try and try and try and nothing.

deee - I hope you and your dh are able to put your differences aside and get back to a good place. I hate those big hormonal induced fights.

 

[FTale]

https://www.verywell.com/taking-a-break-from-trying-to-conceive-1960176

Here is a good read of us ladies who are waiting for our rainbows.

 

[fxmummyduck]

I will write a proper response, but I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you, for your lovely messages of support. I really needed to read those today, so much so, i keep looking at them just to keep me going today. You ladies are wonderful.

Ftale, I'm sorry you are feeling so so down, I am right there with you. But I have drunk a lot more than a few Budweiser tonight!

 

[FTale]

FX: HUGS..I glanced at the drinks in the fridge but opted out. I wasn't doing so well today but managed to work from home some. I hardly had an appetite too. And just as i'm about to go to bed I get a light head ache which signals to me AF is but a day or so away. Clockwork.

I hope you are getting some good sleep.

Huggles: Well, darn the witch is making bank this cycle. I hope you are doing ok. Do your ovaries hurt at all as you approach AF? My right one always aches like before O but doesn't go so far as to be like 'killer' pain like O can be.

Dee: I hope you and your hubby have done some making up. Keep us posted.



AFM: Just trying to not be so much about 'me' anymore. I've been so I'm going to start indulging more in things I like. Things that actually bare some good fruit without having to pee on a stick. We started watching Game of Thrones tonight! I tried to watch it when my daughter was born but it was too much. So my hubby and I are doing some major catching up on it through Netflix. I'm addicted to it now and Grimm!! Love some Grimm.

What about you ladies? Anything you love to do, watch or think about that you've been neglecting throughout this ttc journey?

HUGS

 

[deeee]

Ftale - I am really trying to get my mind off ttc this month. Last month, I dont know why, but I expected the surprise to happen SO much. It was quite the shock when AF showed. So this is why I am giving in this month... I am watching also a local series about espionage and eating all the chocolates and cakes that I crave ( I've been trying to lose weight since it helps ttc ). But no matter how much activities I do, I find myself occasionally thinking, what if this month is the month?
Wouldnt it be cool if we all got BFPs the same month?

 

[Huggles]

We're busy watching Arrow. OMG that guy is sooooo sexy
I think I'm in love

FTale - no, my ovaries don't hurt. But I do get major headaches the 3 days leading up to AF. They seem to be triggered by caffeine - coffee or chocolate = instant headache. But don't really happen much on the other days in the month, except around ov time when I also sometimes struggle.

I got so caught up in ttc and the waiting and expecting and planning and obsessing the last time (when we initially ttc'd #2, so when ds was 18m - 4yr) that I very nearly drove myself crazy, and realised I was missing out on enjoying the life we had, here and now, and missing out of ds. This time around I'm a lot more relaxed about it. I still want it. And I'm still disappointed I don't have another, but I've also realised and come to peace with the fact that our family is great the way it is. Yes, I want ds to have a sibling. Yes, I want another child. But even if that doesn't happen, what we have now is great and I want to enjoy it.

I ate some pineapple during the 2ww this past cycle (supposed to thicken your lining and thereby aide implantation). Well, I didn't get pg, but af is much heavier this time round, so I'm thinking it actually did do something which is interesting. I didn't manage every day but did eat it for about 3 days (6dpo, 7dpo and about 9dpo), so might try that again. I don't think we're ttc this month, though will see how dh is feeling about his job in 2 weeks' time, but when we do go for it again I'll probably give the pineapple another shot.

i restarted my EPO last night as well. I stopped it in May when I had that early mc because you shouldn't take EPO when pg, or after ov when ttc becuase it caused uterine contractions and can lead to mc. But dh actually asked me mid-cycle this past month if I was still taking it becuase he'd noticed a change in my moods. I get very snappy when not on it. So I've restarted that. It can help with ttc if taken before ov, but shouldn't be taken after ov so again, will reassess where we stand on the ttc front in two weeks' time and see whether I will continue with it or stop.

 

[Disneylovers]

Ladies I'm sorry, I had to take a step back there, I was so frustrated over missing yet another month ttc because I was supposed to have dental xrays last month, I get there to my appointment and their panoramic xray machine was down, and had another failed surge earlier in the month, I had fertile cm, twinges but no real big ovulation symptoms (although it felt the same as the previous cycle were I ovulated at cd12), so I get home after my wasted trip to the dentist, pack an overnight bag for each of us to stay at my in-laws (our power was off for 16hrs that night for planned maintenance). So middle of BBQing for my in-laws I go to the bathroom and have the biggest glob of ewcm, tmi I know sorry, but it was a big ffs moment of "we are staying in their spare room for the night, ds is sleeping in the bed with us and he was coughing a fair bit so no chance to even sneak off... Missed our window and af got me yesterday such a bundle of every emotion possible over here.

We did have our 9th wedding anniversary dinner before af showed it's ugly head though, Thai food and a heart to heart was very needed. I really need to be more active here and I'm really sorry I went all quiet on you ladies again, I never expected to hit so many hurdles ttcing baby #2. I'm struggling to be honest.

I'll read back on all of your posts and be back to temping once af is gone and try my hardest to not disappear again x

 

[Huggles]

disneylovers

 

[FTale]

Disney Been at this a while and I still don't know how any of us get back up again. Where do the months go? I am happy you were able to at least enjoy your anniversary meal.
Are you going to plan an HSG? I am going to try to clean out my reproductive organs naturally with xi xian cao and yi mu cao. If my tubes are blocked, should help too.

Huggles: Same here more than ever. I realized I've been missing out on my family too. Hubby and I have actually connected more over these last two cycles where I just have not been ovulating. We are just enjoying each other's company. You know I looked at my daughter the other day and hadn't realized just how much BIGGER she had gotten. I don't know what the future is for ttc but you are right - so happy for all I already have.

Deee: I'm sorry about not getting a bfp this time around. I'm not as shocked anymore. After doing everything just right, I am under the firm belief that it will just happen.
Till then, what if this is the month? Geez that's going to be every month isn't it? I'm totally kicking back too. This new cycle I am even going to skip ttc like a mad woman and just go with it naturally. Not hunting down my O date like an arrow. I will be doing my herbal teas but that's it.
I hope you have fun chilling out.

AFM: I started spotting today. And will start my herbal teas as well. Other than that I'm looking forward to more alone time watching GOT with my husband and playing mine craft with my daughter. And of course, yacking with ya'll.

 

[Disneylovers]

Ftale I don't know how, we struggle but we keep trucking along. As soon as I kick this cold whatever it is I will be caking my obgyn, I am due my yearly check anyway.

And I was clipping DS's nails the other night, turning his hands over in mine I noticed his have grown so much in the last few weeks, his feet too, losing that toddler look to them, my petite little guy is not my little baby in looks so much anymore. How do they grow so sneakily like that? Lol ok i know we just don't notice but it often feels like an overnight thing.

Afm: I meant to start charting bbt today but left my thermometer in my travel bag downstairs so nixed that idea for today, tomorrow I'm getting back into it, even just in a relaxed way so I will knew when af is due if nothing happens this cycle.

 

[FTale]

Disney: Isn't it some thing else? They grow when we blink it seems. He is going to be a tall one. Taking after his mummy.
I'm sorry about you cold. I'm with you. It started today and I've been downing tea, and sore throat candies from the sneezing. Don't know how or why I sneeze with my throat. My daughter begged me to be sick quieter..

I will start looking at my thermometer in the morning. I've loved not touching it like I use to. No OPKs anymore though. Too stressful. Just have at it every other day if we feel up to it. And for sure on the day of O pains for all its worth.

Here's to getting better so we don't have a delayed O. And that we get O at all!

Oh, forgot to mention last cycle on 5dpo I did progesterone test. It was 13ng. I had only taken the progesterone at night once. So I know its not the suppository, plus those don't go to the blood either. It was a wonky cycle and I didn't feel O really but my numbers were high enough to indicate I did. I plan to do it again this month at 5 dpo and wait to take my suppository that night rather than 4dpo which is a good day to take it because your temp is usually noticably higher.

If I already mentioned that then sorry, darn cold has my head stuffy.

Ok, heading to bed. HUGS ALL

 

[Disneylovers]

Heh, he's on the 10th percentile for height, he's actually not grown much in height since June. His features look more boy and less toddler.

I remembered last minute to temp this morning, DS comes in to our room with a cute "good morning mummy!" He reminds me every day why we stress ourselves out wanting baby #2, we crave more of that adorableness!

 

[Huggles]

I hope you all feel better soon.
That's great that your progesterone results came back good FTale.

 

[FTale]

Disney: We had the same thought!! Except we were watching Baby Boss and just going crazy over the cartoon baby. And then I looked at our daughter looking all blessfully innocent and ....(sigh) desired to have our own 'boss baby'.

Aww...letting go of his lil toddler self is hard. But as long as he lets you baby him, I'd be all over it. You feeling any better? I'm still crapped out. Didn't even temp this morning. My husband had to go out and get me some healthy chicken noodle soup. I will try to remember to test in the morning. I'm so sick my body gives me diarrhea if I try to take a sore throat drop.

Huggles: Thank you huggles. I'm hoping by O day I get O and the cold is gone. Otherwise I won't know a sick fever from a progesterone jump.

How are you doing?

Hugs everyone

 

[Disneylovers]

Ftale are they sugar free cough drops? They can have stuff in them that gives you diarrhoea? I stick with soup and drink pineapple juice as it soothes my throat. DH has been a gem and went and got me wonton soup (without the shrimp) it helped my throat so much. I still have a scratchy voice but it finally doesn't hurt.

facebook keeps trying to suggest my obgyn as a friend to add... I still have her number in my contacts from when I was ill after having Aiden, she gave me her cell number so it must be coming up from there. I'm thinking I just need to be more pushy with her, September is a year since we stopped ntnp and started ttc fully. She has to agree to see me then. Aiden has his kidney check on the 7th (unless they reschedule for a third time!) Hopefully with DH's new job having Thursday and Fridays off, we'll finally be able to make appointments during the week and not need a sitter. Something has to happen soon, the hole in my heart needs filling with a baby, Aiden sits there playing with toys role playing that they're brothers, gosh it gets me teary eyed

 

[FTale]

Disney: Though we're in the same boat my heart aches for you. Hard watching them play alone. My daughter plays with two remotes during Minecraft when I'm not up to it. She makes my character hide then pretends to go find her. So sad but it's what they have gotten use to. Oh and she tells me when we play together that I'm her sister in the game. But she is older than me...lol

I hope your doctor listens now. A year is a frickin long time to wait. So happy for your hubby having a better work schedule though. Can't beat that.

Well here's to feeling better this week. I wish I could stay home today but have to go in to work for meeting. Hugs

 

[fxmummyduck]

Hey ladies, sorry for the radio silence the night before going to see my sister I had a fairly major mental health relapse and resorted to a coping mechanism that hasn't happened in a long time. I realized just how low I've got over all of this, but determined not to stop trying. Problem is you open 'that' door to cope and it's very hard to close it again. Anyway I won't say anything more, I'm aware it could be a trigger for others.

I'll catch up on the posts now! Hugs to all x