Pansy & Mrsbroodypant.....and Lottie :-)

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hi.

Im all ready to go. Just eating breakfast now. Im so strange because i eat cereal without milk on lol.

I like hearing about your friends, its interesting. Mr Insensitives name is James too! We know a lot of Rs and James between us!

Yes it was the ladies on the thread u have their bfps that were acting funny with us who are still ttc. Anyway, its seems to be a nicer place now lol.

I hope i have a nice weekend and i will tell u all about the hen do tomorrow
Princesses in tutus lol
Xxx

 

[Pansy]

(quietly) Morning!

How's your head??! Did you have a good night? What were the other people like? Did Rachel have fun? I'm looking forward to hearing all about it.

Our house is nearly tidy enough. Just need to do the kitchen after breakfast & Hoover downstairs. My brother Steve came over last night for tea, so that was nice.

We had huge downpours & thunder & lightning again yest. T decided the biggest storm was the ideal moment to go to the tip!! As we drove, a huge crack of thunder happened basically overhead, which was scary. When we got to the tip, there were several other cars sitting there waiting to use it once it stopped raining. T got bored of waiting so started unloading, which made the other men copy him. They soon have up tho & he got totally soaked! What a muppet! I refused to help him as I'd said we should wait til the storm had passed before going out!

My aunt & uncle are away for the weekend so my cousin asked us to be on standby to look after little Isla in case his wife goes in to labour. She's due in less than 2 weeks. I kept dreaming we'd missed a call from them!

I'd better get on with the tidying. Hope you had a great night & you're not too hungover! xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Good morning!

Sorry i didnt write yesterday. I wasnt hungover but i was very tired.

Did u have a nice day with Lucy? I hope u enjoyed seeing her.

The hen do was fun. We got there and checked in and then went for lunch. Then we went in the spa which was lovely but i got very hot. I think taking clomid makes me extra hot and i went in the steam room and jazcuzzi and ended up with a headache before id even started drinking lol. I got my nails done and they looked nice but we went to get changed afterwards and i kept spoiling them lol. I shared a room with Rachel so it was fun getting ready with her. She had to wear a daft outfit with a massive tutu. We had a 3 course meal in the hotel in a private room which looked gorgeous and the food was amazing. But eating made me tired and not in the mood to party as i was so full up. We got a taxi to the club and it was good in there with lots of different rooms to go in, i had to make sure i didnt get lost! One girl was 13 weeks pregnant and i couldnt stop thinking about how i should if been pregnant. I wished i wss at home bare foot and pregnant with R rather than dancing in a club. Everyone seemed quite tired coz we had eaten so much so we didnt stat out long . Back at the hotel with ate some willy cakes (more food) and talked before bed. It was fun but there was no games and i love games . And no stripper lol. Rachel really enjoyed herself so thats all that matters. Rachels MIL and SIL were there and they are really rough, they left a lasting impression lol. All her friends were nice and friendly. One girl was very quiet and went to her room after the meal and didnt come to the club.

We just drove home after breakfast. Im glad that i drove and didnt drink much coz i didnt feel sick. I just felt so tired. R took me for sunday lunch then i went to sleep for a bit afterwards. Then we got a takeaway for tea which was horrible so we know not to go there again but our usual takeaway was closed.

Today im planning my summer dance school and college which i am running later this week and next week. No more lady of leisure! Lol.
Im going to have to do lots of washing and ironing too.

Going to the tip in the rain sounds like something R would do lol. Not going to let a thunder storm stop u! Lol.

R got a letter from the hospital saying his kidney function isnt as good as it was so he needs to go for an appointment soon. Thats a bit worrying. He has a condition that makes his system attack his kidneys and gets checked every so often. I hope its nothing to serious and can be corrected.

I hope u have a nice day today whatever u are doing xxx

 

[Pansy]

Hello!

I did my trick of writing a whole message & then it getting deleted when I pressed post again - how annoying!

Glad you enjoyed the hen do. I'm exhausted fom just reading about it lol! Did you have games at your hen do? We had several, one of which involved ringing T to ask what his fantasy womn was - I think he found that v embarassing! Do you play games as a family? We do, especially at Christmas. I think it's my favourite thing about Xmas, especially Boxing Day when we play with my cousins. I think Pictionary is probably my all time favourite.

Oh dear re R's letter, I hope he is ok. How soon does he have to have an appt? At least if they're monitoring him any problems get picked up quickly.

My tea is ready, so I'm going to post what I've written & write more in a bit - dont want to lose it again! xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Aww sorry u lost your post again....how annoying.

I had games at my hen do. A mr and mrs game where R had already answered questions and i had to match his answers or i had to drink a shot. I loved my hen do, it was class.
I hope u enjoy your tea xxx

 

[Pansy]

Back again!

We really enjoyed seeing Lucy & James yesterday. They stayed for 3 hours & I was exausted by the time they left - I'm v glad she didn't come to stay. Like I said, I've never really spoken to James before but was pleasantly surprised to find he's really nice. He seemed genuinely interested in her friends & they were v sweet together, without being too much, if you know what I mean. I'm really pleased to know she's with someone nice.

I had a quiet morning cos I've had a busy afternoon. I went swimming & was outraged to find 3 other people in my lane - how rude!! Don't they know its my lane?! I will have to get a reserved sign put up! To be fair, I was probably annoying them more than they annoyed me, as I was slowest, but I tried to keep out of their way.

I've been to see the midwife this afternoon. All is well, baby is measuring exactly how he/she should. The MW was impressed with my haemoglobin levels, so that's really good, I'm v relieved I don't have to take iron tablets. I'd heard some horror stories from a lady on my course & I mentioned them to the MW. She spent ages reassuring me, so that was really nice. When she listened to the heartbeat, she had a guess at the gender. At my 17 week scan she said the train/galloping horse theory was more accurate as pregnancy goes on. She guessed girl as it was definitely a galloping horse. I think it's an old wives tale, but it's funny she felt she could guess. T seems to think she knows what she's talking about, as she's heard enough babies. I wonder... (Notice how I called baby "he/she" above, not just he anymore!!)

We've got to go to the NCT breast feeding class in a minute. It's from 7 till 9:30 - we're both normally in bed by 9! I hope we can stay awake!!

How did your planning go? Did you get lots of washing done? Hope you had a good day.

xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

I hope u enjoy your course. Its a late one! Hope u didnt fall a sleep lol.

Ive done all my planning for the college and its taken all day! Im totally prepared now with lesson plans and music and choreography. They children do set and costume design too so i need to go buy a few pieces tomorrow. I will have to plan the school another day coz im sick of doing it now . Ive just quickly but some washinh on and not done any ironing....opps!
R isnt in from work yet! Im starving....

Im glad u had a lovely time with Lucy and think her partner is nice. Will u get chance to see her again before baby is born?
I think your going to have a boy but im always wrong lol so im guessing your MW will be right!!!! How exciting.

Im not temping or doing opks this cycle. Im not even going to think about what CD im on. Im just going to enjoy sex and chill out a bit. Im kind of getting tired of ttc. The summer holidays is prob the best time to relax and not focus on ttc so much. But i do need to book a docs appointment or im going to run out of clomid and have no chance of getting pregnant. Ive only got one more round of tablets left.

Enjoy your course xxx

 

[Pansy]

Morning!

Why was R home so late yest? Was it overtime or does he usually have to work that late on a Mon?

Having a relaxed cycle sounds a good plan. The rest will probably do you good, having a chilled summer sounds good. I was wondering when you'd need to get more clomid as I was swimming yest! Will the dr give it to you or do you need to get referred?

I'm so tired this morning after the course. It was really useful, we both learnt loads & it also confirmed some of the things I believed. I came away feeling more determined & empowered. It was the best session of the course so far.

I keep having stress dreams about Christmas! I had another one this morning & have woken up feeling v stressed. I keep dreaming I've missed it. This time I was stuck in a random house waiting for someone to turn up so I could leave & I missed the whole day with my family. Since T & I have been together, Xmas day has involved travelling round visiting both our families. At one point we had to go to 3 different houses in the one day, so it's never relaxing. I think maybe my dreams are a combination of being keen to have a relaxed day this year & worries about how my life is about to change. I'm going to talk to T tonight & see if we can agree a plan where we see his family on Xmas eve & my family on Xmas day. Or maybe I'll wait til he's less tried....! (A bit ridiculous worrying about Xmas in August!! I never normally even think about it til Nov).

Are you doing more planning today? I have to do specific training with a colleague today. I'm hoping it won't be too hard. My boss will be abroad from today for almost 2 weeks, so I'm hoping that will give me time to get things sorted.

Hope you have a good day.

Xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Morning.

R should of been home about 6pm yesterday but they have a store visit from an area manager today so he needed to stay back. I played war with him for not ringing me lol. Think it went in one ear and out the other .

I got a migraine last night and it is still hurting now. Could of been from working on my computer all day.

R got his appointment for 23rd September so its not very soon. I guess if it was more urgent then he would of got seen sooner.
Im going to ring the docs today for my appointment. I need to be referred back to the fertility clinic at the hospital but i was told that my GP might give me clomid but im not sure.

When we went out for Jodis 30th meal last week we were all talking about our plans for Xmas lol. We were laughing at how early everyone makes plans now they have children who grandparents want to see. Im lucky because we have Xmas at home now. I cook the dinner and my mam & nanna came last year, then we go to see the inlaws on the evening. Its going to be quiet this year. Obviously i expected a baby which would distract from losing namna but now we lost both . I need to be pregnant for Xmas to make it feel better .
Why dont u have Xmas at your house?

Its good that u found the course useful. Id love to breast feed but dont put too much pressure on yourself to do it as my SIL couldnt. Whens your next lesson?

Im going to do more planning today but not spend too long on my computer.

Did u see BB? I loved Ginas secret task where she wrote the letters lol Dexter was funny as! I also liked the friends/family noms. That stirred it up a bit.

Have a good day. Not long left at work!!! Xxx

 

[Pansy]

Morning!

How's your migraine? I hope it's better now. Do you get migraines often? I've never had a proper migraine, thankfully. Hope you were able to get some planning done yest.

That's probably good news about R's appt being in Sept as it can't be urgent, although it would be better for you both to know sooner. Did you get a drs appt?

How funny that your friends were planning Xmas! I thought I was mad to be thinking about it. We had Xmas here 2 years ago - T did amazing food that he took all December making & freezing in advance. I think he put himself off the whole thing, as he doesnt want to do a less good job. I think it would probably be harder todo the meal with a LO. I spoke to T last night & he said we could probably see his family on Xmas eve & then just my family on Xmas day, having both the evening of Xmas eve & the morning of Xmas day here. Plans will probably changed before then. I really hope you have a BFP before Xmas, there's still plenty of time for that.

Our last NCT course is on Sat - a whole day course again. I hope the ladies will keep in touch. We've made a Facebook page to arrange meet ups. It doesn't feel enough time to make friends, but hopefully we will meet up again.

Gina's letters were so funny! Interesting to see what the friends & family thought. It's good that so many people are up, I wonder who will go?

I'm taking my brother Steve out shopping today & hopefully for lunch. He wants some new shirts apparently. There's an outlet village near my parents home, so we'll go there.

When does your summer school start? Hope you have a good day. xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hello,

My heads all better now. I dont get migraines very often but when i get one its horrible and i cant see for a bit. Im ok now though.

My dance college starts tomorrow. Its thurs-sat 2pm-7pm. Then i have Sunday off and my summer school is mon-thurs 10am-3pm.

Ive made a docs appointment for Tues 20th as R is off that day and we go collect his tablets that day too. He takes blood pressure tablets everyday to protect his kidneys.

Its good if u can get away with seeing the inlaws on Xmas eve. That would make Xmas a lot easier and less stressful for u. I like to relax at Xmas. The only thing i do is the dinner....yum yum!!

I think Charlie or Hazel will go from BB this week. They had big arguments last night which didnt make them look very nice. I think i want Charlie to go, she doesnt know her own mind lol.

I hope u have a nice day with Steve and he gets some nice shirts .
Today im going shopping witg my mum. She wants new curtains and things for her house. We still havent finished all the work yet but R is going to take a week off work soon so we can finish...yipee!! Cant wait til its all done.

Have a good day xxx

 

[Pansy]

Morning!

I think I'm still asleep! Can't seem to wake up this morning! Feel like I'm gong to be late for work already. But my boss is on hol, so hopefully no one will notice!

Glad your head's better. Did you buy anything with your mum? Did she get what she wanted? It's nice you get to spend quite a bit of time with your mum. My mum works full time so I only get to see her at the weekend, when T is there as well. It's v rare we get to go somewhere just the 2 of us. Some weekends we're too busy to see my parents at all, which is a shame. I FaceTime my mum & text her, so get to talk to her like that.

Steve & I had a nice time. He got his shirts, I didn't buy anything. We then took Tal for a walk in the woods. He loved that, he was much more enthusiastic than he's been for a while. I think it's the cooler weather. They both then came to our house & Tal played ball in the garden & followed T round everywhere in case he had something nice to eat! T doesn't normally feed him, so I don't know why he was getting special treatment!

I really hope it's quiet at work today so I can sit there pretending to work but actually resting! I've no idea why I'm so tired, I didn't sleep too badly, just woke up lots.

How's the not temping going? Are you missing it? Or are you managing to stay relaxed about it?

I'd better go & attempt to get to work on time! Hope your dance college goes well. xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hello,

I feel the same today like i just cant wake up lol. I think i will feel better after a shower. I can tell ive had a really deep sleep and lots of dreams.

Im not wanting to work either but i know once i get started i will love it. Irs not good for me to be off work as i have too much time to think. I had a cry last night. I just feel like such a failure and that my life isnt progressing. My friend Jodi wants to meet up soon and i just dont feel like seeing her with her new baby as it will make me sad for the rest of the day. Hope i dont sound selfish. R says i need to move on and be strong and get over it. I know what he means as it would make life a lot easier but its hard for me to do. Im not really thinking about ttc, just thinking about what i could of had. I need to throw myself into my work to take my mind off it and give me a new focus.

I had a nice day with my mum. Yes i am lucky that i get to see her such a lot. I didnt see her monday or tuesday and she missed me and felt lonely, bless her. She bought curtains but they didnt have the curtain poles that she wanted. She bought me a few things too

Nice that u spent yesterday with your brother. We took Hollie out yesterday too and she seems to like the weather now its not too hot. My mums house backs onto a school feild and we have a gate out. We used to be able to walk for miles but then they put one of those big green fences around the school so we are trapped on the feild. Nobody else has a gate out and now its fenced in it feels wrong to be playing on the feild but my mums been doing it for 60 years! Now its the school holidays we can go out whenever we want lol.

Im going in the shower now then to get ready to dance. Im going to be aching tonight!
Have a nice day, i hope u didnt need to work too hard

Xxx

 

[Pansy]

Morning!

I'm sorry to hear you were upset. It's so hard. I guess this is the first proper time off you've had to process it all since it happened. You mustn't think you're a failure though. It's not your fault or R's, it's just one of those things that happen. Grieving takes a long time & has lots of ups & downs. Are there any support groups/websites which offer ways to get through losses? Not focused on TTC, just tips on how to process what you've been through. I had a quick google and found this: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ Maybe you've looked at it before? They have this leaflet, which is a bit more for people who've had ivf I think, but also mentions people who have been LTTTC. https://www.miscarriageassociation..../Pregnancy-loss-and-infertility-Jan-20111.pdf

(Hope you don't mind me linking to them. You may have seen them before.)

Maybe this time off to process it all will help you a bit? I think a more relaxed attitude to TTC this month will definitely help & give you space to focus on something else. I know how hard it is to ignore TTC when the whole world seems to be family focused & full of babies. It doesn't sound selfish not wanting to visit Jodi, I know that would make you sad. Hopefully she will understand, knowing what you've been through. You've got a good excuse with your work at the moment. Just go & see her when you feel ready. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think?

I hope work made you feel a bit better yest. How did it go? Were you aching? My work was very quiet as my boss hadn't left anything for me to do. I cleared out one of my drawers, which was good, as I got to bin lots of things! I hate binning things at home, as I'm always worried it'll be something I need, but at work it's fun! I've got 3 more drawers to sort out & they are really full of stuff that has to be filed so will be a nightmare to do. I'm hoping that next week will be as quiet so I'll get a chance to do it then. I've given smoky woman the week off as there is nothing to do. It will be nice not to have to deal with her for a week!

I'm not sure what I'm doing today. I have some more paperwork to finish. I might see my brother again but I haven't rung him yet. I'm hoping it will be a fairly quiet day as I've got a full day tomorrow with the course followed immediately by a meal at my SILs. I feel bad that I'm always tired when I see my nephews & niece at the moment - they won't think I'm fun anymore. But I can't really help it & you have to put yourself first sometimes don't you? If I need to leave early, I just do.

Hope the second day of your course goes well & you have a good day. xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hello

Thanks for the links. Ive had a little look and they look really helpful. I will have a more detailed looked later. Thank u very much, thats really kind of u.

Ive had a great day at work. I just love spending time with the children and do lots of dance and crafts. We are doing a 'schools out' performance so today we made mortarboards and they look class!! Its all coming together for the final show tomorrow. Its really helping me to feel happier

Good that u are winding down at work and sorting out your draws etc. Great that u got rid of smokey woman for a week lol.

I hope u enjoy the course tomorrow. It will be a long day for u. I hope u are not too tired so u can enjoy your meal at your SILs house. Yes u need to put yourself first and just go home if u need to rest. I know family should understand that and your niece and nephew wont think your boring, not when they see their baby cousin!!

I hope u have had a nice day and got to see Steve again. Enjoy the course tomorrow!

Xxx

P.s i am aching and so are the children lol

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

I hope u have enjoyed your course today. I bet u were too busy and now too tired to write today .
I had a good day at work. The children did their final performance and it all went well. Im tired out lol and only have one day off before i start my summer school. What was i thinking putting them so close together lol.

I hope u have had a good day xxx

 

[Pansy]

Evening!

Sorry I did write yest. I overslept so didn't have time before going to course. (I'm so used to waking up at 7 that I don't set an alarm & then am surprised when I wake up at 8!!). We then went straight to SIL's from the course, so it was a tiring day. The course was good, we covered loads again. It's a shame it's over. The meal at SIL's was good - I managed to p,ay board games with my nephews & stayed til 9, so that was good.

Today T decided we needed to go shopping as soon as he got up, so was nagging me to get up as quickly as possible. We went to Bristol shopping - they have a new kiddiecare there. We got quite a few little bits. We then went to my mums for tea. My dad & Steve were out watching cricket. They are really into cricket & support Somerset. I can't see the appeal myself!

I'm glad you're course went well. I would have loved to have done it when I was younger. I did a tap summer school once. We were meant to be part of a dance festival, but it got cancelled, so we just put on a performance for the parents at the end. I hope you've had a restful day today & are less achey. Did you have to do any prep for the next course? How many kids do the course?

I'm completely knackered so I'm going to bed now. Hope you've had a good day. xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Morning.

Im glad u enjoyed your Saturday and found the course useful. What things did u learn in the last class? Its good that u managed to stay at your SILs house for a while. What game did u play? I love boardgames but dont often get chance to play.

Yesterday we relaxed all morning and then we went out into the moors with Hollie and to a pub for lunch where Hollie can sit under our table! I love having her with us. She ate some of my potatoes lol.
Last night the inlaws came round as they are back from their holiday. They took Nemo home. Im so glad he survived!!

My summer school starts this morning. Ive got 13 children on this one. I only had 6 at the college but it was nice to work closely with a small group. The theme for this course is 'at the circus' so it should be fun! My niece is doing it so i am driving her each day.

U havent got long left. Its crazy when i look at your ticker and see how far along u are. Is your bump pretty big now? Im glad u have bought some more bits and are getting all ready. Funny that T decided u needed to go shopping. I bet he is very excited to be a daddy.

I hope u have had a good nights sleep so csn be less tired today.
Have a nice day xxx

 

[Pansy]

Morning!

I did sleep well thank you, apart from a lot of nightmares, but I still feel tired. I think I'll have a quiet am before going swimming at lunchtime.

I hope your course goes well today. The circus theme does sound fun, I bet they'll love it. I'm glad Nemo survived his holiday - phew! Tal is very good at sitting under the table in pubs too & then asking if we've left anything at the end! He had his 10th birthday in the week. My mum sang happy birthday to him & he wagged his tail lots!

I don't tend to look at the days on my ticker, as it scares me! The weeks seem to be going by so quickly, although on Sat we were saying we have ages left compared to everyone else on the course. My cousin's wife is due this Thursday! My bump is pretty big. I keep walking into things & not fitting through gaps I thought I could! My hands are swelling horribly when I go shopping. They were little sausages yesterday. T managed to get my bigger wedding ring off at lunch yest & they just kept on swelling. I'm not waddling yet, so presumably I have more growing to do!

We learnt about inductions, bathing babies, did some relaxation & practice contractions, learnt about recovery after labour & touched on post natal depression & Caesarian sections. The course has left me in a bit of a quandary about whether to have the baby in hospital or the midwife led unit where I have my check ups. Until now I've thought it would be the hospital, so I can have an epidural if I want one & won't be transferred in the middle of labour. But everyone else on the course is going on the midwife led unit. The hospital is over subscribed so prefers it if low risk pregnancies go to MW units & my MW is talking as if I should go there. They said at the breast feeding course that babies who've had epidurals can be sleepy & it effects BF, but on here people haven't found that. If I coukd manage without an epidural & it all went well, I'd want to go the MW unit, but as I can't guarantee that, I'm thinking hospital. My mum & all my family who have had babies say the hospital would be best, it's only the people who haven't had babies on the course who say MW unit. T, my mum & I had a big chat about it yest, and I think we've decided on hospital, but I haven't been round it yet. (Sorry if I went on a bit there, I'm sort of getting it clear in my own head, hope you don't mind)

T is learning to drive a fork lift truck this week! He has to take an exam at the end to get a licence. I think it's more exciting than he does! He should be on nights, but because of this he will be home at 4:30, which is great. It will be the 4th week in a row where we eat tea together - yey!

Hope you have a good day at summer school! xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hello,

Guess what? When i was little i wantes to be a fork lift truck driver lol. Im so jealous of T right now! It looks so much fun!!

Just got in from work. Had a good day but as drop my niece of at the inlaws on my way home i go in and cant get away. I always feel bad when i say i have to go. Im going to be like that all week lol.

Your course sounds good. U have covered lots of topics. I know that epidurals do make your baby sleepy, thats why my SIL couldnt breast feed as James was too sleepy and they wouldnt let her go home until he would feed so she tried bottles and he would have those. Jodi had an epidural too and although her baby was sleepy she has managed to breast feed. Personally id definately go to the hospital. Would be a nightmare to get moved during labour and u can go from low risk to high risk suddenly. Obviously consider it but im glad u are thinking hospital.

Happy 10th birthday to Tal. Hollie will be 5 soon.

I hope u have a nice tea with T and a relaxing evening.
Xxx