*** Positive Mental Attitude TTC - Anyone joining us? ***

[Smiler82]

Hi everyone

sorry I have been AWOL for such a long time...nothing going on really other than just being so busy with work and being in an office rather than at home so I can't sneak online and chat

Lilesmom - Simon is soooooo gorgeous I just want to pick him up and cuddle him! How is he doing? How are you?

Hopeful - congratulations on the arrival of your little bundle of joy too! I'm so pleased for you, hope everything is going great

Discoria! Fantastic news! How are you feeling? A little early for sickness etc maybe but I hope whatever symptoms you have they're not too bad

Withlovemom I'm so pleased for you the scan went well and all is looking ok. Though very frustrating about the anterior placenta and not being able to feel kicks as early as you would normally

Mommylov, how are you doing hun? Sorry I haven't been keeping up with this site too much the past couple of weeks so I am really behind. I'm just so sorry you had to go through such pain and take more drugs. It must be so awful for it to be dragged out for longer than you had hoped. I hope your week away has given you a little time and space. I've not read your journal yet; I hope you didn't have to have the HCG before you went away. Just hope you can start to move forward soon and get some good news asap now with your new doctor xxx

AFM nothing much to report; as I say just busy with work. Am getting tired but want to do as much as I can before stopping. Every penny helps!

xxx

 

[lilesMom]

hi guys
thanks he is a little cutie isn't he, hee hee
im loving the cuddles

hopeful its cute babygro isn't it. perfect for boy or girl.
i got a pack of 3, one says mummy loves me, one says daddy loves me and other (in pic) is just stripey
glad ye r both well xxxxxxx

withlovemom thanks
how u doin? xx

hey smiler,we missed u xxx
hope ur getting some rest too hon, xx
it is true u wont get any hardly when they r here, ha ha
but sooo worth it xx

hi and hugs to all.
hope alls wellxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Smiler82]

He is a little sweetheart We keep saying how we have to make the most of the cuddly stage because before we know it he'll be growing a wispy 'tache, rolling his eyes at us and slamming doors haha I'm glad you're enjoying him lilesmom I'm sure it's very tiring but brilliant at the same time

Hardly managed to do any work today, whoops! I do want to save up as much money as possible but been thinking today about how we've only got 7 weeks left so should really try to take it easy whilst I have the chance. Need to dedicate more time to practising hypnobirthing etc. I see the midwife on Weds so am going to tell her about the hypno and that I'm hoping for a home birth and see what she says x

 

[lilesMom]

hey smiler
I know I cant believe simon is 5 weeks tomro already, it flew!!!
I can imagine the yrs will fly too. wil def enjoy him all I can xx

yeah u could do with rest too hon, could u drop a day a week maybe for next few weeks or does it work like that for u? xx
hypno birthing is def great and big help but do bear in mind things don't always go according to plan and its not end of the world if u need more help pain wise. xx
I got everything I wrote on my birth plan practically I didn't want,
I stayed with tens and hypno for day and a half till I just got too exhausted to do it anymore. but I know I could have done it if I didn't have 2 day birth xxxx
I know I prob should keep quiet but I wouldn't advise home birth, I would have prob opted for one this time and been very sorry. xx
if anything is wrong with bub it is soo much better to be in hosp.
I know it is everyone choice but I would never ever choose home birth anymore.
I would def try hypno and tens next time , if I do decide to have more though xx

 

[Smiler82]

It's kind of tricky being freelance, really I can do what I want but at the same time I hate turning work down in case clients don't come back to me, and also for the money! I'm fully busy for all July then I am cutting down in August to 2 days a week. I hope that will be a good balance because I think I would get bored doing nothing but enough time for me to really rest and get everything prepared.

Yeah no I totally appreciate things don't always go to plan when it comes to childbirth. If I decide I can't cope with just tens, gas and air and the birthing pool then I will certainly say so haha. I think anyone would end up exhausted and birth plan out the window if they had a 2 day labour too! I'm not going to beat myself up at all if anything doesn't go quite how I imagine it. I've spent a long time thinking about the risks and am totally aware that the most unexpected of things can happen. I think the only thing that's really helped me to decide to stay at home is that we are a 5 min drive from the hospital, less than that in an ambulance I'm sure. If we lived any further then I don't think I'd have the guts to do it, but I've been reassured by friends who've had a home birth then ended up being transferred is that the homebirth midwives are so totally on top of everything and only focussing on you, rather than having a few women to care for like the hospital midwives do, they pick up on things really quickly. Hopefully we'll be in the majority of people who have straightforward births but any sign of trouble I will go in without any hesitation x

 

[lilesMom]

cool babe sorry I know its ur own choice just felt I had to say it xx
just tryin to help not be annoying xx im 50 mins form hosp so def different for me x
I had midwife with me all the time, one on one after the first day but htast prob cos it got a little complicated
I would def prefer the experience of home birth if all goes well though xx
having said that they were all lovely to me in hosp
bar one nurse on the ward after having him.
I asked for help 4 times with feeding and with his pain but I think she just thought I was hysterical first time mom. turned out he was in pain from stroke!!!! stupid nurse.
anyway.....
she got pretty apolegetic next day when she realised what had happened.
glad ur able to cut down work soon, it does get more tiring towards the end . x
u will be surprised how u adjust to fill ur days

 

[lilesMom]

i tried gas and air ahd hated it, i felt all weird and was seeing double .
some people swear by it though so def try it and see how u get on xx
i think iinhaled too much too fast. x
my deep breathin for hypno didn't help me there

 

[DiscoRia]

Forgive me for not reading the updates before I post, but I just wanted to update you all.

I started bleeding on Saturday, a scan showed egg sac present, no blood in utero and closed cervix. But bleeding got worse and blood tests today pretty much confirm a miscarriage.

I had a scan planned for Saturday, but it's purpose will be different now. I just hope i've passed everything naturally and can concentrate on recovering.

Wishing all you ladies the best xx

 

[lilesMom]

aw disco ria, I am so so sorry honey , hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx
let us know how u r when u feel able , hugs xxxxxxx
wish I could help properly, we r here to listen if u need to chat xxxxx

 

[withlovemom]

Oh Discoria..
So sorry to hear that hon...
we all are here when u feel like talking..
take care dear...lots n lots of hugs..

 

[Smiler82]

Oh no, Discoria I am so very sorry. We've all been there and fully sympathise please do talk anything over you want to we're all here for you xx

 

[Smiler82]

cool babe sorry I know its ur own choice just felt I had to say it xx
just tryin to help not be annoying xx im 50 mins form hosp so def different for me x
I had midwife with me all the time, one on one after the first day but htast prob cos it got a little complicated
I would def prefer the experience of home birth if all goes well though xx
having said that they were all lovely to me in hosp
bar one nurse on the ward after having him.
I asked for help 4 times with feeding and with his pain but I think she just thought I was hysterical first time mom. turned out he was in pain from stroke!!!! stupid nurse.
anyway.....
she got pretty apolegetic next day when she realised what had happened.
glad ur able to cut down work soon, it does get more tiring towards the end . x
u will be surprised how u adjust to fill ur days

As hun I know don't worry! Appreciate your honest opinion and why you felt the need to say something I'm pretty sure I'm low risk but will see what MW says. We might also go for another private scan nearer full term.just to be really sure everything is looking ok xx

 

[lilesMom]

thanks smi,ler xx don't wanna be a butt pain but if anything god forbid went wrong like for me , id be horrified if I hadn't said anything xxx
but it will go great xxx
my thing was a yucky fluke xxx

hi and hugs to all xxx

disco ria and amy big huge hugs xxx

 

[Smiler82]

Aww you're not a butt pain at all tee hee You've been nothing but very helpful
I spoke to the MW today and she said we have to wait for 36 weeks for final checks of various things before they can say if I'd be a suitable candidate for a home birth. But she was explaining how things work in our area and there aren't that many community midwives which is a worry to me. I know the next area over have a really great set up with home births etc and I thought it'd be the same in our area, so I'm a bit disappointed. We are now going to look at a midwife-led unit, but the down side to that is it's about a 20 min drive from the hospital, rather than the 5 mins we are now. It should be much closer to the hospital. Stupid politicians - it was actually something to do with David Cameron because it's in his constituency. Idiot!

Grr. Anyway, we'll see what happens at the 36 week appt - she's going to come to our house so she can check out how suitable the lounge is and talk about it in more detail. But today the checks all went fine and she said the baby is 2/5ths engaged which is apparently a good thing. Explains why I am waddling now haha

How is little Simon doing? xx

Hello everyone else...hope you are all ok? Sorry I have wittered on rather selfishly today xxx

 

[lilesMom]

hey guys xxx

hi smiler u haven't wittered on xxx
we like updates
I hope u get what u want on home birth honey, what a bags its not same in ur area.
but could still work out for u after u have been checked, don't rule it out yet xx
2/5 engaged is def good hon, simon didn't engage at all really which is prob part of reason I had such trouble being induced, he was low down apparently at end but not engaged for the last week ish., so def good at this stage even if it doesn't feel it for u with waddling I was def quite duck like for a good bit too xxx
simon is good , docs were happy with him, said he was thriving
same plan as befor e, lots of clinics coming up for him and see how he goes as he grows xxxx

hi and hugs to all xxxxxxxxx

 

[DiscoRia]

Hello Ladies,

Simon is adorable LilesMom, I just want to squish his tiny face, hehe. I'm so glad that he's thriving xx

I'm so excited that you'd like to homebirth Smiler! It's a shame that you don't have an abundance of community midwives, but I am sure things will work out just as they should. It's a bit of a militant attitude, but if you want to birth at home, it's your legal right to and the NHS are obliged to give you medical assitance wherever you choose to birth your baby. You can fight that corner/angle if you wish to, as I say it's a little aggressive and I don't expect you to just take my word for it. But if it's something you have your heart set on, know that you do have options, regardless of what your hospital/midwife/doctor tells you *hug*

You never really know how things will work out until they are in full flow, but I guess I just don't want you to get pressured or bullied into something you may regret Best of luck... or as we say in Italy "In bocca lupo!" because it's bad luck to say good luck here, hehe

As for me, I'm actually doing ok.... Something happened while I was dealing with the sadness and the grief and I was able to face it all fully, accept it for what it is, embrace it and let it go. I feel like a different person... I've struggled with feelings of guilt and sadness all my life. I've used not so productive ways to cope with my overwhelming feelings in the past, but this time I chose not too. I realised (thanks to my husband and one of my closest friends) that I am stronger than this.

I am able to see the positives now and I am choosing to hold onto those rather than the pain and the sadness. I feel stronger, more hopeful and more trusting of my body and it's abilities. Now at least I know I CAN get pregnant. I also know that something wasn't quite right with my pregnancy and my body recognised that and I miscarried. Also, my scan yesterday confirmed that everything has been passed naturally and that was the best outcome I could have hoped for. I really do feel like I've shed a coat of worries and gained new trust in my body.

I am still sad and still hurting, but I am dealing with it day to day.

Everything will be ok. Of that I am sure

Enjoy a wonderful Sunday you wonderful, beautiful, strong ladies!

 

[babybemine]

Disco hugs for you. A loss is hard but I am glad that you are able to find strength and that you CAN get pregnant. I hope the weight is not that long for you and are able to start trying again.

This month DH and I were not able to BD as much as I would have liked. He switched to day shift for training and I work night shift so time has been limited for when we could BD. We were able to get it in a few times before my normal O-date and I am hoping that those days did the trick. Right now we have about 10 more days of waiting.
The sucky thing is DH got a prick with a dirty needle while working and now we have to wait to BD until everything comes out clean. SIGH.

Still dealing with the annoyance of everyone asking if I am pregnant on a daily basis because I am a "newlywed" . Also dealing with the fact that one cousin just had her second child, another cousin is having her third child in August and I also just found out that my 19 year old cousin will be expecting quads in December. Have moments of sadness wishing that I could already be pregnant but life happens how it happens and I will survive through it.

 

[withlovemom]

Hi Discoria, Big hugs 2 u hon.. & I admire u for ur positive attitude..i m sure its not easy but at d same time i am glad u got this positive approach so soon,, its also nice that u passed everything on ur own...hope u feel better soon hun...we all are here to talk whenever u feel like.. & as u said..everything will be fine very soon.....sending hugs n prayers n lots of baby dust ur way...

Babybemine, hope u guys managed to catch that sticky bean during BD.. i know it feels kind of hurtfull when ur relatives or acquintances get pg wid their 2nd/3rd kid when u r still trying for ur first one.. the same thing happened to me last year..i had my mmc in june & my sis in law delivered her 2nd kid in august...she had a daughter n our angel baby was also a girl,,i was so overwhelmed that time...i can totally understand ur feelings... But things will work out for u too very soon hon.. sending hugs n prayers n lots of baby dust ur way..

Smiler... how r u doin hon?? good that ur check-ups are going well..
U r sooo close now.. fx for ur 36 week scan too.. in the mean while, take the much needed rest hon...

Lilesmom, so pleased to hear that Simon is doing great..
how is ur schedule now with d little on around?? I m sure u r enjoying every bit of it

Hugs n prayers to all u lovely ladies...

 

[lilesMom]

hi guys xxx

disco ria im so glad ur coping with it all. it is a horrible sad time but I totally agree it shows us all just how strong we really can be xxx hugsxxx
we don't know that until we r tested xx
thanks for nice comments about simon xxx im mad about the little guy xx
I look forward to pics of ur rainbow bub in the not so distant future xxx
hugs xxxxxxx
if u need a whinge or a chat feel free, don't feel cos its pma thread ur not allowed xx
u so are I think I speak for everyone on that xxx
I know I had some bad days after I thought I was ok about lile, so don't worry if u feel u go backwards sometimes, (not saying u will, just saying its not abnormal to feel better one day and crappy again another day xxx ).
big hugs hon, glad u have lovely OH to comfort u xx

babybemine hugs xx hope u get bfp already so u don't have bigger wait to BD xx
hope OH is ok babe, my sis works in a hosp too, she got pricked with needle before and had to wait few months for tests but all was fine . do they have any idea who needle was from or was it in rubbish or something? that's what happened my sis it was in wrong rubbish, not sharps bin. so they didn't know what patient it was so had no clue as to diseases or anything.
fingers crossed all will be fine xxxx
fingers crossed for bfp too hon xx
oh my god, 19 yrs old with quads, how tough will that be for her.
hoep they all be ok xxxx
hugs for u hon xxxxxxx

withlovemom hi
how u doin?
we r good thanks , im getting sleep in patches when I can
not too bad really , as I start to feel better it gets alittle easier
stitches are pretty much healed now
but my blood pressure is still playing tricks on me and the tablets for it make me sick.
I am def enjoying it. lots of lovely cuddles hee hee
hope alls well with u xxx


hi and hugs to all xxxxxxx

 

[Smiler82]

Hi ladies,

Discoria - I admire your attitude so much. You've always been such a strong and positive person and I'm really glad you feel that you can take some positives away from what is such a sad situation. I totally agree with Lilesmom though, don't feel bad if you have a day where you don't feel so good or quite so positive. That definitely happened to me too so yeah, even though this is PMA thread we are all here to supply each other with PMA when you can't quite manage it yourself. But yeah I think we all end up stronger after the bad times. It took me a while to see it but now I am grateful to my little babies that I lost because they made me became a better person after that horrible time. There is a silver lining to the cloud but it's ok if the cloud seems a little too big some days and anything you need to get off your chest we are all here

Thank you for the supportive comments re home birth too! My yoga teacher also says over and over it doesn't matter whether your caregivers agree with you, they just have to do what you request regardless of their own opinions. So I'm not going to give up on it and we get to talk more this weekend when the MW comes to our house. I'm also going to book a tour of the midwife unit because I found out they have people there trained in Hypnobirthing, which is what I'm doing, so it's worth looking into it I think.

Babybemine I'm so sorry you feel overrun with pregnant ladies right now I had that too, literally every month for like 4 or 5 months it was announcement after announcement right when we were grieving. It is really hard. Don't feel bad if you need a little time away from these people, you have to look after yourself. But oh my gosh, howcome your 19 year old cousin is having quads? Was she on meds?? That is going to be so tough, I would not be envious of her at all. I hope the time you did get to BD was enough, you never know. Shame about your DH though, I hope all the tests etc come back clear xxx And I can't believe people are actually asking you outright if you're pregnant. That is so RUDE. What do you say to them? I would tell them it's none of their business and it's not their place to ask, it is their place to be told about a pregnancy. This only happened to me once and it made me so angry. Why people think they have a right to this information is beyond me. Argh, so cross for you!

withlovemom I'm fine thank you How are you? Do you have a date for the 20 week scan?

Lilesmom that's great Simon is thriving I'm so happy I know it is a bit of journey ahead of you before you can be sure he is definitely ok but it sounds like he has had a positive start and that's just great. Sorry to hear your blood pressure tablets make you sick I hope everything settles asap and you can get off them xxx