Pregnant by older guy, not sure what to do

[missk1989]

Dont feel bad about long posts. It is good for you to be able to spill out all your thoughts. People have been following you for months now and I know I like to hear updates about how you are getting along, im sure others do too.

 

[rebeccalouise]

Hey Heather. I've just read through your entire thread, took me about an hour!

I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck, I was in your shoes whilst pregnant with my daughter - I'm now a very happy/blessed mother, due to marry my amazing partner in April, and trying for our second baby. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy to get where I am today, but I did it! With love, support and determination, anything is possible. I really hope everything works out for you, you seem incredibly mature for your age. I could relate to so many of your posts on this thread, made me relive a lot of feelings! x

 

[Mannie89]

I assure everyone that I read the entire thread prior to drafting my reply.

I was concerned that Heather was being bullied by a guy that came off as more concerned that the baby doesn't go to strangers than really being a dad. However, Heather's reply to me makes me feel that he has put more thought into this than the previous posts implied.

I still caution that relying on a 23 year old boy to be a rock of a foundation is a dubious proposition and you should make your own decision on adoption without pressure from him and his parents.

Man... not boy. He obviously has a good head on his shoulders, college degree, good job(as Heatherr mentioned), natural paternal instinct... this describes a man, not a boy. Unless you're like, 50 years old, 23 is not an age that most would consider someone a "boy."

Heatherr, I would say this guy is a keeper! Even if you don't end up together as a couple, it sounds like you really lucked out to have him as your child's father.

 

[wookie130]

Why are we still engaging Britt1979 in this conversation? Seems to me like an exercise in futility...

Anyway, no, Heatherr, all of the stuff you mentioned in reply to my post does NOT make you sound bad at all! It makes you sound honest, and I wish more young mothers would be level-headed and self-actualized about their pregnancies. I certainly do not judge you for feeling the way you do about the baby, and your role in this thing as it stands right now. I'm just telling you that once the baby is born, you may feel immediately differently about your level of involvement in her life...then again, you may not, and perhaps you really will want the FOB to be the default parent. There is NOTHING wrong with that.

I would suggest both childbirth AND baby care classes, which are both usually offered by the hospital you plan to deliver at, most likely. I learned a lot from the childbirth class...and then ended up having 2 c-sections! LOL!!! Oh well. I was happy to do the classes, and if they taught me anything, it was to expect the unexpected! You just never know what will happen, so it's best to try to be as informed about what could happen, and what options you have at the hospital, etc. The baby care classes will teach you things about feeding, car seat safety, safe sleeping practices (which are SOOOOOO important), infant crying practices, when to take baby to the doctor, etc. It's a good one for young parents such as yourselves!

My suggestion as far as shopping, is to check out quality consignment stores. I have gotten some really amazing bargains on just about everything...do get a brand new mattress for your crib, however. Amazon is really great for new stuff, however. But for cheap jammies, plain onesies, etc., Walmart and Target are just fine. Babies aren't too fussy about where their clothes and supplies come from! LOL!

 

[gemmalauren]

Read half of this post but was getting confused as time went on, I'm 19 & pregnant with baby number one, did you finally get to the doctors?

 

[Eleanor ace]

Hi ladies, just a reminder that if you have concerns about a poster please let admin know- you can report their posts with your concerns- no calling troll on the forum please .

 

[xforuiholdonx]

Yes Gemma, she's been to the doctor
I'm so glad you've decided to have a part in parenting your little girl! It's a decision you won't regret!
Hang in there

 

[gemmalauren]

Glad she went, hope she's okay is she having a little girl?xxx

 

[heatherr]

I have been to the doctor several times since the start of this thread. Last time, I found out I'm having a girl. My next appointment is next week (I'll be 24 weeks) and I have to do the glucose test, which I'm not looking forward to because I throw up very easily even when I'm not pregnant and everyone says how bad that stuff tastes.

 

[gemmalauren]

I have been to the doctor several times since the start of this thread. Last time, I found out I'm having a girl. My next appointment is next week (I'll be 24 weeks) and I have to do the glucose test, which I'm not looking forward to because I throw up very easily even when I'm not pregnant and everyone says how bad that stuff tastes.

Glad everything is working out, how is the situation with baby daddy, feel free to message me xxx

 

[MummyMana]

I have been to the doctor several times since the start of this thread. Last time, I found out I'm having a girl. My next appointment is next week (I'll be 24 weeks) and I have to do the glucose test, which I'm not looking forward to because I throw up very easily even when I'm not pregnant and everyone says how bad that stuff tastes.

I dunno what it's like in America, but on the UK they use locozade

 

[Mannie89]

I have been to the doctor several times since the start of this thread. Last time, I found out I'm having a girl. My next appointment is next week (I'll be 24 weeks) and I have to do the glucose test, which I'm not looking forward to because I throw up very easily even when I'm not pregnant and everyone says how bad that stuff tastes.

The stuff isn't too bad! It's just like really sweet koolaid. I got the citrus kind(orange) and it wasn't too bad. I drink Mt. Dew though so you can imagine it didn't bug me.

 

[heatherr]

I don't like sweet things. Thinking about it makes me want to puke already.

 

[heatherr]

I have been to the doctor several times since the start of this thread. Last time, I found out I'm having a girl. My next appointment is next week (I'll be 24 weeks) and I have to do the glucose test, which I'm not looking forward to because I throw up very easily even when I'm not pregnant and everyone says how bad that stuff tastes.

Glad everything is working out, how is the situation with baby daddy, feel free to message me xxx

I don't know how much you've read. Nothing has really changed since my last posts about him. He is willing to take on a lot of the responsibility of raising her, or at least caring for her for now. I am lucky that he is letting me be pretty flexible with how involved I want to be. I understand why he doesn't necessarily want to be with me,regardless of age. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't even know how involved she wants to be with the child you're having together?

 

[gemmalauren]

I have been to the doctor several times since the start of this thread. Last time, I found out I'm having a girl. My next appointment is next week (I'll be 24 weeks) and I have to do the glucose test, which I'm not looking forward to because I throw up very easily even when I'm not pregnant and everyone says how bad that stuff tastes.

Glad everything is working out, how is the situation with baby daddy, feel free to message me xxx

I don't know how much you've read. Nothing has really changed since my last posts about him. He is willing to take on a lot of the responsibility of raising her, or at least caring for her for now. I am lucky that he is letting me be pretty flexible with how involved I want to be. I understand why he doesn't necessarily want to be with me,regardless of age. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't even know how involved she wants to be with the child you're having together?

Its good hes offering support & not just done a runner
Everything will be okay in the end, can't imagine how your feeling, I'm still scared about it all at 19! Just keep strong xxx

 

[Desi's_lost]

I puked that nasty sh.t up :/ it was disgusting. You don't HAVE to drink it, they have a test that you can do where you don't have to drink it, they had me do that one after. I would request that if you know you get sick easily. Honestly, I don't think you should have to take the test if you're young, a healthy weight and don't have a family history or any symptoms, but the drs don't agree with me.

 

[wookie130]

I puked that nasty sh.t up :/ it was disgusting. You don't HAVE to drink it, they have a test that you can do where you don't have to drink it, they had me do that one after. I would request that if you know you get sick easily. Honestly, I don't think you should have to take the test if you're young, a healthy weight and don't have a family history or any symptoms, but the drs don't agree with me.

I don't entirely agree with this, I guess. I think the gestational diabetes test is really important, actually. It is a very common condition during pregnancy, and while it seems to be even more common in older gals such as myself, it is not unheard of when a young lady/teen develops it during pregnancy. The risks involved in ignoring it are very real...stillbirth due to a retired placenta that lost functioning is a scary possibility for letting GD go, and yes, it does happen. I'm not sure about any alternative tests that are available...but honestly, I don't think the orange stuff is that bad. In the states it's called glucola, and it's usually a very sweet orange-flavored thing that is most easily done when you SLAM it as fast as possible, and do it while it's very cold. I don't love overly sweet stuff, either, and I survived it twice. LOL! It's the blood testing that happens after the glucola that always gets me. I'm not a fan of needles...brrr!!!

 

[Feronia]

I puked that nasty sh.t up :/ it was disgusting. You don't HAVE to drink it, they have a test that you can do where you don't have to drink it, they had me do that one after. I would request that if you know you get sick easily. Honestly, I don't think you should have to take the test if you're young, a healthy weight and don't have a family history or any symptoms, but the drs don't agree with me.

I don't entirely agree with this, I guess. I think the gestational diabetes test is really important, actually. It is a very common condition during pregnancy, and while it seems to be even more common in older gals such as myself, it is not unheard of when a young lady/teen develops it during pregnancy. The risks involved in ignoring it are very real...stillbirth due to a retired placenta that lost functioning is a scary possibility for letting GD go, and yes, it does happen. I'm not sure about any alternative tests that are available...but honestly, I don't think the orange stuff is that bad. In the states it's called glucola, and it's usually a very sweet orange-flavored thing that is most easily done when you SLAM it as fast as possible, and do it while it's very cold. I don't love overly sweet stuff, either, and I survived it twice. LOL! It's the blood testing that happens after the glucola that always gets me. I'm not a fan of needles...brrr!!!

There are definitely alternative tests and you don't have to do it either, especially if you don't have any risk factors or symptoms. I'm skipping the GD test this pregnancy since I have no risk factors unless I happen to develop symptoms. Some people drink alternative drinks or eat foods with similar glycemic indexes to the drink. Others monitor their own blood sugar at various times, and another option is to just stick to a diet similar to the GD diet and get additional exercise since that's all you'd be doing anyway if you were diagnosed with GD anyway. So there are alternatives if you think you'd vomit the disgusting orange drink up! (I almost did during my first pregnancy, hah.)

 

[Feronia]

Sorry, duplicate post!

 

[heatherr]

I did end up getting through the test. I drank the stuff while gagging and I did almost throw up. Then I could still taste it for most of the day, which would make me gag when I thought about it. But I'm ok now.