S T M ( Single Teen Mummy & Mummy-to-be's )

[Marzipan_girl]

Hiya Star-Gazer!

I'm almost 19 weeks...FOB dumped me when I first told him...he also wants a DNA test.

He's talking to me now and says he be somewhat involved, but I'm soooo sad about being a single mummy. It sounds evil as hell, but I feel less connected to my baby when I think of being without FOB. Like without him there I wont be able to bond properly...I don't know why.
Whenever FOB says nice things about baby I just think "awww I love my baba!!!"
When he's ignoring me I barely think about it...and just fear the day he's born...
I hate feeling like this...I need to get over it big time. Think sometimes I should just cut FOB off and learn to bond with baby regardless NOW before it's too late.

 

[Marzipan_girl]

Sorry btw everyone lol can I join this thread? xxx

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Of course you can!

Have you thought about seeing a therapist or anything to help you learn to bond with your baby without FOB? I don't mean it in a rude way, I just know sometimes we all need a little extra help coping with what life gives us.

 

[Kailynnsmommy]

i am going to join you ladies if that is alright. me and FOB broke up in march and i really wish he would just dissappear!

On a less serious note, I had a dream that fob and I were walking through the woods and he was telling me he was going to take Olivia from me and I'd never see her again. Then we came out of the woods and we were standing on a cliff ledge. I was telling him that would never happen and he said "I have friends in high places!" And so I said "Yeah?! Well we're IN high places!" And pushed him off the cliff. Of course it happened to change points of view and become on of those dreams where you're falling and then wake up because you're having a spazz attack in bed.

I felt like I had to tell you all that. Out of everyone, I figured the STM girls would get a kick out of my morbid dreams.
I think it's because I've been using the analogy of feeling like you want to push fob (or anybody, for that matter) off of a cliff a lot lately.
And I seem to have this really freaky habit of only dreaming about fob if he's trying to contact me while I'm asleep. Whether it be through email or text message. (We don't talk. ever. So when he does contact me, it's very out of the blue) And I always wake up right after or right before he texts me.
I think it's because my jerk-radar starts going off.

thats great we were just talking about pushing FOBs off cliffs. lol. i had a dream that i killed FOB in a fire. it sounds horrible but oo well. he needs to be gone! even his half sister was telling me to keep my daughter away from his mom that she is crazy. so her crazyness must have just been passed on to him!

 

[Marzipan_girl]

Of course you can!

Have you thought about seeing a therapist or anything to help you learn to bond with your baby without FOB? I don't mean it in a rude way, I just know sometimes we all need a little extra help coping with what life gives us.

Thanks! Yeh I think thats definitely a good idea.
Its not healthy that i'm so obsessed with FOB. Especially how he treated me...dumping me because I wouldn't have an abortion...saying he wanted nothing to do with "it" and then getting a new gf the very next week. And then when he said he would see "it" every now and then if it meant he didn't have to pay child support, but it would be the same as his future kids with his future wife, would NOT be allowed to meet them, OR the baby's grandparents and wouldn't be entitled to his inheritence etc...

God i'm getting so anggryyyy noww....

How do you not think about your FOB? I know you basically don't talk to him etc...I wish I had that strength. I'm always texting him and wait on his every call...

I think I need to cut him off....why the hell am I so stuck on such a jerk!

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Of course you can!

Have you thought about seeing a therapist or anything to help you learn to bond with your baby without FOB? I don't mean it in a rude way, I just know sometimes we all need a little extra help coping with what life gives us.

Thanks! Yeh I think thats definitely a good idea.
Its not healthy that i'm so obsessed with FOB. Especially how he treated me...dumping me because I wouldn't have an abortion...saying he wanted nothing to do with "it" and then getting a new gf the very next week. And then when he said he would see "it" every now and then if it meant he didn't have to pay child support, but it would be the same as his future kids with his future wife, would NOT be allowed to meet them, OR the baby's grandparents and wouldn't be entitled to his inheritence etc...

God i'm getting so anggryyyy noww....

How do you not think about your FOB? I know you basically don't talk to him etc...I wish I had that strength. I'm always texting him and wait on his every call...

I think I need to cut him off....why the hell am I so stuck on such a jerk!

I think that would be a wise choice. He sounds like such a jerk and neither you or your LO need to take that. You seem like such a sweet person and you prove how strong you are by being able to admit that you can't get over FOB even though you know the things he's said and done are wrong.
Not being over him doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother, and don't ever let anyone tell you it does. We all deal with things differently and in our own way.

I had an obsession with an abusive boyfriend once, and when I spoke to my therapist he told me to do the following:
Try writing a list of reason why you don't want to be with him. They can be silly things like "because he doesn't take the trash out" or serious things like "He says things just to make me upset." But the point of the exercise is to remind yourself that you don't need him. And then every time you want to call him or feel like you miss him look over this list.

 

[star gazer]

Hiya Marizipan_girl

I know how your feeling, I am so scared about being a single mum; the FOB hasnt been to any of the scans and says that he doesnt want to know until a DNA is done

I am going into all this alone, dont have any family either so I a terrified, but I cant wait until my little boy is here

FOB is in another relationship with another pregnant teen whose baby isnt his and he buys things for her and the baby. So far I havent recieved any support from him

But dont be scared you will get through it!! just think what you will have at the end of it x

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Hiya Marizipan_girl

I know how your feeling, I am so scared about being a single mum; the FOB hasnt been to any of the scans and says that he doesnt want to know until a DNA is done

I am going into all this alone, dont have any family either so I a terrified, but I cant wait until my little boy is here

FOB is in another relationship with another pregnant teen whose baby isnt his and he buys things for her and the baby. So far I havent recieved any support from him

But dont be scared you will get through it!! just think what you will have at the end of it x

Aw, girl! You'll be a great mum!

The only "support" FOB has given me was he bought my stroller/carseat (Cause it was a combo) and while I pushed my feelings aside and genuinely thanked him for it, I know the real reason he bought it. I told him NOT to go on my registry (he'd asked about it) because I didn't have it near finished and there were certain things, like strollers and cribs, that I had a few of on there because I needed to see them in store to make my final choice. So what's he do? Go on there the next day and purchase one of the strollers I had on there. Lucky for me it's the one I liked the most, but it really bugged me because he only did it to take an option away from me. (Sounds really immature, I know. But he has this vendetta against me because I "took away his choice" when I didn't get an "a" Bitch, you had a choice! You could have wrapped it! )

*sigh* Rant over.

 

[EmandBub]

Hiya Marizipan_girl

I know how your feeling, I am so scared about being a single mum; the FOB hasnt been to any of the scans and says that he doesnt want to know until a DNA is done

I am going into all this alone, dont have any family either so I a terrified, but I cant wait until my little boy is here

FOB is in another relationship with another pregnant teen whose baby isnt his and he buys things for her and the baby. So far I havent recieved any support from him

But dont be scared you will get through it!! just think what you will have at the end of it x

Aw, girl! You'll be a great mum!

The only "support" FOB has given me was he bought my stroller/carseat (Cause it was a combo) and while I pushed my feelings aside and genuinely thanked him for it, I know the real reason he bought it. I told him NOT to go on my registry (he'd asked about it) because I didn't have it near finished and there were certain things, like strollers and cribs, that I had a few of on there because I needed to see them in store to make my final choice. So what's he do? Go on there the next day and purchase one of the strollers I had on there. Lucky for me it's the one I liked the most, but it really bugged me because he only did it to take an option away from me. (Sounds really immature, I know. But he has this vendetta against me because I "took away his choice" when I didn't get an "a" Bitch, you had a choice! You could have wrapped it! )

*sigh* Rant over.

Ally, that just made my day it's true though, these guys are just insanely stupid! they don't know what they're missing and i can bet you that you're all going to make amazing mummy's regardless xx

 

[star gazer]

Aww thank you, we will all be great mummy's
I just wish that he would at least help out with buying baby items that I need luckily for me I have some great friends who help me out

But do you know what he had the cheek to text me earlier and tell me he wants the baby to be called Maxwell Junior (just in case the baby is his) after telling me that he doesnt want anything to do with the baby.....So I told him, he hasnt helped out with anything I need, hasnt been to any of the scans, tried to get me to have an abortion and wants a DNA done why would I name my baby after him?

*Rant over*

 

[star gazer]

Can someone please tell me what I should do...I have been having really sharp pains across my bump and lower back all day and a pressure that feels like I need to push....Im really scared!!

 

[EmandBub]

hey hon, has the pain gone or is it still there?
and wtf? what cheek! i wish these guys realised they're toying with our lives and that one day when they realise what they've done they'll regret it. xx

 

[star gazer]

Hey, I am currently writing this while in maternity...I decided to go in an get checked out...they said that i am in labour, but it is way to early...they are trying to stop my baby coming today but I over heard one of the doctors say that he thinks the baby will come today...Im so scared

I was fine until the FOB started getting me angry, and now look whats happening!! x

 

[Callie-xoxox]

Is anyone a single mommy to be. due in July??
I need a text buddie since I will only have my mom with me then I am in labor I thought It would be nice to have someone to be able to tell??

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Hey, I am currently writing this while in maternity...I decided to go in an get checked out...they said that i am in labour, but it is way to early...they are trying to stop my baby coming today but I over heard one of the doctors say that he thinks the baby will come today...Im so scared

I was fine until the FOB started getting me angry, and now look whats happening!! x

Oh no! Keep us updated hon!

And Callie, I'm due July 18th, but I live in America. I have unlimited texting, but I don't know how international texting works.

 

[Callie-xoxox]

I have unlimited texting too and I text me dad in the Bahamas and these is no extra cost at all. I think its all the same if you have unlimited.
who is your phone service with?

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

T-Mobile. I just checked with them as the internet wasn't helping any and they said it wasn't covered. But apparently there are free sites where you can text people internationally, and since I have web-access on my phone, that's how people do it who have tmobile.

 

[Callie-xoxox]

that's super weird that its not covered!!
I am on telus and it covered! thank god or my phone bill would be 100000000 dollars since I text me dad all the time.

 

[star gazer]

Hi to all you out there that supported me today!!
so the doctors decided to deliver Isaac...he came into this world at 5.05pm

(keeping fighting baby)

 

[star gazer]

that's super weird that its not covered!!
I am on telus and it covered! thank god or my phone bill would be 100000000 dollars since I text me dad all the time.

Hi there,

I wasnt due until 12th september but my little man had to be delivered today at 5.05pm..I am so scared right now...but I would be happy to be a text buddie with you