S T M ( Single Teen Mummy & Mummy-to-be's )

[stuffymuffy]

Thanks for the welcome!
The father has really been making me upset lately, he knew there was a possibility I was pregnant before we broke up and I was going to tell him the morning we broke ( which was a shock to me) I've tried a bunch of times the past few weeks to talk to him and he continues to ignore me, rumors are starting to go around my school because I'm starting to show and I really want him to hear it from me before he hears it from someone else, even though I"m pretty sure he might already know and if he does it frustrates me even more that he hasn't even attempted to talk to me about it! Idk if I should just give up trying to talk to him or keep trying.
P.S Sorry for ranting lol

 

[stuffymuffy]

Hey I'm Stephanie
I'm 17 and I'm about 15 weeks pregnant ( the estimation I got from the dr. at the clinic I went to, to confirm the pregnancy, I'm still waiting to tell my mom and go to a regular ob)
The father and I broke up before I found out I was pregnant and he is refusing to believe that I am.
But I'm doing just fine without him and I can't wait until my little blessing is here
I'm so excited to finally be able to talk to others who know what I'm going through and have already gone through it lol

you have such a good attitude considering what a prick the FOB is being! glad you're excited have you booked an appointment with the doc yet?xx

Not yet, I know I need to very soon, I really wanna make sure that the baby is okay and get an exact due date etc. I"m just really scared about telling my mom.

 

[annawrigley]

Thanks for the welcome!
The father has really been making me upset lately, he knew there was a possibility I was pregnant before we broke up and I was going to tell him the morning we broke ( which was a shock to me) I've tried a bunch of times the past few weeks to talk to him and he continues to ignore me, rumors are starting to go around my school because I'm starting to show and I really want him to hear it from me before he hears it from someone else, even though I"m pretty sure he might already know and if he does it frustrates me even more that he hasn't even attempted to talk to me about it! Idk if I should just give up trying to talk to him or keep trying.
P.S Sorry for ranting lol

pff, never be sorry for ranting
does he not know then?! i thought you said your friend went up to him and told him?
do you have him on msn/facebook or anything? or have his number? if so you could text him or tell him online if hes going to be so immature and ignore you in person ?
xx

EDIT: in reply to your other post, why does your mum have to know before you book a doctors appointment? you could always make an appointment before telling her then afterwards when you tell her you can at least say "ive been to the doctors im X weeks," etc so she knows you're serious about it and are taking the first steps to handling it yourself and stuff?
just a suggestion

 

[Jas029]

Thanks for the welcome!
The father has really been making me upset lately, he knew there was a possibility I was pregnant before we broke up and I was going to tell him the morning we broke ( which was a shock to me) I've tried a bunch of times the past few weeks to talk to him and he continues to ignore me, rumors are starting to go around my school because I'm starting to show and I really want him to hear it from me before he hears it from someone else, even though I"m pretty sure he might already know and if he does it frustrates me even more that he hasn't even attempted to talk to me about it! Idk if I should just give up trying to talk to him or keep trying.
P.S Sorry for ranting lol

We don't mind the rants trust me!
There's tons of threads on here just dedicated to rants!
Just scream at him til he listens! (OK horrible advice I know, Blame the hormones!)

 

[stuffymuffy]

Thanks for the welcome!
The father has really been making me upset lately, he knew there was a possibility I was pregnant before we broke up and I was going to tell him the morning we broke ( which was a shock to me) I've tried a bunch of times the past few weeks to talk to him and he continues to ignore me, rumors are starting to go around my school because I'm starting to show and I really want him to hear it from me before he hears it from someone else, even though I"m pretty sure he might already know and if he does it frustrates me even more that he hasn't even attempted to talk to me about it! Idk if I should just give up trying to talk to him or keep trying.
P.S Sorry for ranting lol

pff, never be sorry for ranting
does he not know then?! i thought you said your friend went up to him and told him?
do you have him on msn/facebook or anything? or have his number? if so you could text him or tell him online if hes going to be so immature and ignore you in person ?
xx

My friend said she did, but his new gf ( who I used to be friends with) said she didn't and he doesn't know so Idk who to believe anymore. Ugh! And he is being really immature, he blocked me on facebook and myspace ( his new gf told him too apparently)

 

[stuffymuffy]

I tried making an appointment with my sister's ob who delivered my nephew, but because I'm not 18 they said I couldn't go without a parent, I guess my mom has to be the one to sign all the consent forms and stuff because I'm not a legal adult?

 

[annawrigley]

Thanks for the welcome!
The father has really been making me upset lately, he knew there was a possibility I was pregnant before we broke up and I was going to tell him the morning we broke ( which was a shock to me) I've tried a bunch of times the past few weeks to talk to him and he continues to ignore me, rumors are starting to go around my school because I'm starting to show and I really want him to hear it from me before he hears it from someone else, even though I"m pretty sure he might already know and if he does it frustrates me even more that he hasn't even attempted to talk to me about it! Idk if I should just give up trying to talk to him or keep trying.
P.S Sorry for ranting lol

pff, never be sorry for ranting
does he not know then?! i thought you said your friend went up to him and told him?
do you have him on msn/facebook or anything? or have his number? if so you could text him or tell him online if hes going to be so immature and ignore you in person ?
xx

My friend said she did, but his new gf ( who I used to be friends with) said she didn't and he doesn't know so Idk who to believe anymore. Ugh! And he is being really immature, he blocked me on facebook and myspace ( his new gf told him too apparently)

my god thats immature. my ex (and FOB) deleted me off facebook and msn for no apparent reason, still calls and texts me to discuss the baby but deleted me completely off everything else. i dont get why they do it!

I tried making an appointment with my sister's ob who delivered my nephew, but because I'm not 18 they said I couldn't go without a parent, I guess my mom has to be the one to sign all the consent forms and stuff because I'm not a legal adult?

ahhh right, thats strange. are you in the US? im not sure how things work over there x

 

[stuffymuffy]

Thanks for the welcome!
The father has really been making me upset lately, he knew there was a possibility I was pregnant before we broke up and I was going to tell him the morning we broke ( which was a shock to me) I've tried a bunch of times the past few weeks to talk to him and he continues to ignore me, rumors are starting to go around my school because I'm starting to show and I really want him to hear it from me before he hears it from someone else, even though I"m pretty sure he might already know and if he does it frustrates me even more that he hasn't even attempted to talk to me about it! Idk if I should just give up trying to talk to him or keep trying.
P.S Sorry for ranting lol

pff, never be sorry for ranting
does he not know then?! i thought you said your friend went up to him and told him?
do you have him on msn/facebook or anything? or have his number? if so you could text him or tell him online if hes going to be so immature and ignore you in person ?
xx

My friend said she did, but his new gf ( who I used to be friends with) said she didn't and he doesn't know so Idk who to believe anymore. Ugh! And he is being really immature, he blocked me on facebook and myspace ( his new gf told him too apparently)

my god thats immature. my ex (and FOB) deleted me off facebook and msn for no apparent reason, still calls and texts me to discuss the baby but deleted me completely off everything else. i dont get why they do it!

I tried making an appointment with my sister's ob who delivered my nephew, but because I'm not 18 they said I couldn't go without a parent, I guess my mom has to be the one to sign all the consent forms and stuff because I'm not a legal adult?

ahhh right, thats strange. are you in the US? im not sure how things work over there x

I'm glad to know I'm not the only who has an ex who does stuff like that! lol His parent's took his cell a month ago and the few times I tried calling his house his mom answered and wouldn't let me talk or he answered and hung up as soon as he heard my voice. And yeah I live NY. The only place I can really go without a parent is to the clinic where I did.

 

[memysonand3]

hey steph well all i can say is just tell his mom next time when she answers the phone catch her off guard and she will probably not belive you but it will make it so that at least he will know and you will have a chance to have him there maybe when you go to the doc and his new girl wont stop you from telling him

 

[QuintinsMommy]

ugh.
Do you guys ever just feel so alone?
like ... I donno I've been really upset lately
and I wish there was someone who would feel kicks with me, and would have picked out names with me, and all that stuff,
I donno, I feel really lonely lately.

 

[sma1588]

I tried making an appointment with my sister's ob who delivered my nephew, but because I'm not 18 they said I couldn't go without a parent, I guess my mom has to be the one to sign all the consent forms and stuff because I'm not a legal adult?

hi hun, i dont know what state your in but i would look more into that. it may also depend on what doctors office your using because they really cant refuse anybody. im in california and thats what i have been told, but it may be different where your at and what location your going through...

 

[Jas029]

ugh.
Do you guys ever just feel so alone?
like ... I donno I've been really upset lately
and I wish there was someone who would feel kicks with me, and would have picked out names with me, and all that stuff,
I donno, I feel really lonely lately.

I can kinda relate..
With all the crap that's been going on I just really wanted to lay in FOB's arms again because I use to always sneak out and see him when I was under pressure from so much stuff and he would make it all go away for those few short hours and I could lay in his arms all night
I just wanted to go back to that spot and get away from everything that's bothering me for awhile and just snuggle with him again..

 

[TattiesMum]

Sophie and Anna I've never been in a physically violent relationship thank god (though like memysonand3 I've suffered mental cruelty, both as a child and in adult relationships and have chronic depression as a result), but I'll never forget the 2am call from my eldest daughter (not Tattie) when her, now ex, attacked her, beat her, tried to strangle her and threw her down the stairs. She ran from the house in her nightclothes, into the snow and was thankfully rescued by neighbours

She too went back to him and lived her life on a knife edge, tiptoeing around trying not to spark him off- that's no way to live and eventually she left for good and came back home.

I know how hard it is to break free, especially when your whole self esteem has become crushed to the lowest point and you feel ashamed, as if you somehow deserve what is happening to you But you know what? You don't have to justify what happened to ANYONE - it wasn't your fault, you were just unlucky and vulnerable and it could happen to anyone.

But you've come through it, with lessons learned and heads held high - you're fiesty and strong young women who will be FAB Mums and role models for your LOs .... and the ONLY Mummies your babies will ever have, no matter how many girlfriends or wives your FOBs eventually have

Personally I would keep my distance from your FOBs and hope that they vanish back into the holes they crawled out of If they don't then there are plenty of things you can do to keep your babies safe from them. I fought through the family courts to keep my own LOs safe from their FOB, who turned out to be a paedophile so I can help with that (in the UK at least) if you need advice

I know it's lonely being single and pregnant but you all have each other and sooner or later you will all have wonderful partners who will adore you and treat you well - which is no less than you deserve Remember the old saying - Good things come to those who wait D

 

[Mummy.To.Be]

Ahhh you always seems to have the right things to say!
Unfortunately I had mental abuse along with the physical abuse too.
He use to make me wear what he wanted me to (which was horrid!!)
as what I chose apparently looked horrible and he'd be embaressed
to be seen with me. His favourite thing to say was:
" I don't know why I'm so worried about you cheating, your fat
& ugly so no-one would love you anyway."

When your friends and family are also taken away its hard to deal with.

I'm so glad I've got all you girlies to talk to cuz just like PreggoEggo,
I've been feeling that lonely feeling too... kinda sucks
I guess I've just been looking back on the FOB relationship alot lately.

TattiesMum - I'm sorry you had your childrens FOB to "deal with"
(You know what I mean). It can't have been easy.

Do you have any specific tips for us STM's to cope when times
are feeling tough and alone?

xXx

 

[QuintinsMommy]

ugh.
Do you guys ever just feel so alone?
like ... I donno I've been really upset lately
and I wish there was someone who would feel kicks with me, and would have picked out names with me, and all that stuff,
I donno, I feel really lonely lately.

I can kinda relate..
With all the crap that's been going on I just really wanted to lay in FOB's arms again because I use to always sneak out and see him when I was under pressure from so much stuff and he would make it all go away for those few short hours and I could lay in his arms all night
I just wanted to go back to that spot and get away from everything that's bothering me for awhile and just snuggle with him again..

I'm glad I'm not the only one, I feel like so many STMs are so strong, and sometimes I just don't feel that way

 

[EmziixBo0o]

Sophie im just so glad u are okay!!!!!
Omg.. :\ FOB's are all jerks..
Kieran told me yesterday he didnt love me + hes only got back with me because im pregnant, so i said wel why do u spend so much money on presants for somebody u dont love. then he told me today he does love me..

he said he feels like his in a box!!
i was like what r u ona bout i NEVER see him, and if im ment do he lets me down 4 his mates.. well hes deffo on his last chance this weekend, hes coming tonight and i know an arguements going to come.. i have so much to let off my chest, i feel so depressed...

i dont feel excited? :\ whats all that about! could it be because it doesnt feel real and im not showing yet??
or could it be because of him :\ i really dont know i just cant help but cry all the time...

BECCY - Happy 18th birthday chick !xx

 

[TattiesMum]

Do you have any specific tips for us STM's to cope when times
are feeling tough and alone?

xXx

LOL yes! ...... Dairy Milk, Galaxy, Chocolate Fudge Brownies, M&Ms, Ben & Jerrys Half Baked, Chocolate Cake, Hot Chocolate with marshmallows, Chocolate Fondue, Chocolate biscuits

Seriously though, it helps to remember that it isn't just single Mums and Mums to be who feel lonely - most pregnant women feel like that .... their partners/husbands are out at work all day, they have often stopped work and started maternity leave so they are missing their work mates and they haven't got friends locally because, until now, they've been at work all day and often don't know anyone in the area.

Ante Natal classes are a good way to meet other people or, if you are too self concious about being a bit younger than some of the other Mums there, ask your midwife about teen mum groups in your area - if there aren't any then talk to your midwife about starting one It doesn't have to be big or have a huge meeting place ...Just make a small poster about teen mums supporting each other and getting together for chats and coffee... add your contact details (first name and mobile number) and pop it up in a few doctor's surgeries and/or ask community midwives to pass them onto other pregnant teens.

Don't be afraid to let your family know that you're lonely .... Get online and chat if you can .... but the key thing is to make new friends who are in the same position as you. Honestly, we all go through this while we're pregnant, because it's a huge transition in our lives

 

[Jas029]

I'm doing my birthing class in January... I'm really scared about judgment from the other women there and even asked if they had any classes for teenage mothers but they said now
I don't know any other teenage mothers around here.. Then again I don't go to school so it makes it hard but my cousins that do go to school around here know a few that already had their kids and stuff so it's good to know I'm not a lone wolf in my area..
Sucky thing is I live in a college town.. A college that does nothing but PARTY
So this city is over populated with a bunch of snotty young adults who still act like a teen and are just wasting away their parents funds on booze..
So they're the ones that give me all the looks.. Or make me feel sad about not getting to live my life like them (Not saying I'd seriously WANT to live that life it's just the hormones making me feel so cruddy about missing out on things I wouldn't even have a good experience with!)
Blah! I don't know what I'm trying to say today

 

[QuintinsMommy]

ugh I'm having such a bad week.
my god, and I tried to colour my hair to cheer me up and it went all in sane lol
I wanted to get a dark brown and now my roots are like ORANGE and the rest of my hair is still black ;'(

 

[Jas029]

ugh I'm having such a bad week.
my god, and I tried to colour my hair to cheer me up and it went all in sane lol
I wanted to get a dark brown and now my roots are like ORANGE and the rest of my hair is still black ;'(

Aww!
I've wanted to dye my hair sooo bad It's been its natural color for almost a year now!
(Well as close to natural as it's gonna get, it's still black underneath from where the sun doesn't hit!! )
I use to have REALLLY long hair, I mean like down to my lower back long.. It was so thick and beautiful but IMPOSSIBLE to take care of and I couldn't dye it being that long because nothing would look good..
So I cut it off a little above my shoulders and dyed it purple (Well it was dyed some other color but highlighted purple and the purple was so extreme it took weeks before you could finally see the color underneath)
After that faded the purple was bleached so it faded to blond and I had blonde highlights!
I begged and begged and got an appointment in to get rid of the blond highlights and highlight them some other color.. The woman is a bit..slow.. Never asked what color I wanted and next thing I know she's like "Done!"
I'm like.. huh?
She apparently took it wrong when I said I wanted to get RID of the blond highlights and just dyed them blond..again...
So finally after a few months of that I went in and had it dyed the second shade from black with red highlights.. So goth right? =P
Once it faded my hair went all sorts of crazy colors.. It was like every natural color hair mixed into one unnatural mess! (Although it was really pretty)
I had blond highlights, a reddish tint and afew streaks of black with my natural shade of brown.. It was interesting for sure...
Sorry I got carried away on hair