S T M ( Single Teen Mummy & Mummy-to-be's )

[annawrigley]

aww yeah i always fall over
it just snowed here
very brief and light but it still happened
xx

 

[Nell]

Heey guys,
I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 17 months.
Although I was on the pill I have fallen pregnant and I don't know what to do.
I am only about 2/3 weeks and I am terrified
I have already had one misscarriage which completely devasted me.
I know that I wont be able to go though with an abortion but I dont think i can cope with losing the love of my life. Please help me xxxx

 

[Mummy.To.Be]

Snowing here too!

Nell:
Sorry hun i don't really know what to say
I think you're the only person that will know whats best.
I personally been through a very similar situation with FOB
and look where I am now. I'm with the STM girlies.
You don't need a man to make a good mummy.

Best of luck

xXx

 

[Becyboo__x]

Heey guys,
I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 17 months.
Although I was on the pill I have fallen pregnant and I don't know what to do.
I am only about 2/3 weeks and I am terrified
I have already had one misscarriage which completely devasted me.
I know that I wont be able to go though with an abortion but I dont think i can cope with losing the love of my life. Please help me xxxx

Hi

Congrats on the pregnancy .. all i can say is if you dont want an abortion then dont do something you dont want to do or what someone else tells you to do i couldnt go through with an abortion cause i had a miscarriage aswell and i just think if you make a baby you should go through with it .. but everyone to there own i guess.. If your boyfriend loves you and youve been together for that long he should stand by you? he might be scared at the start but surly he wouldnt walk out on someone he loves and both of your child.. he might be off for abit with you but he should come round.. if you decide to keep and everything and he does walk .. then he isnt worth it really he should support you and everything but maybe sit down with him and talk it all out and see what he thinks ?

And i agree with Mummy.To.Be you would still be a good mum if he did leave and everything x

 

[annawrigley]

i agree too!
if you know in your heart you cant have an abortion, dont let him influence you into getting one
i know he hasnt told you to but dont feel pressured to in case you lose him.
because being brutally honest, relationships at our age rarely make it in the long run, but if you keep your baby thats a lifelong commitment.
none of us are with our partners anymore but its a great support network here and we're all set to do just fine on our own
have you not told your parents/boyfriend yet?
have you thought about some counselling to help you through with your decision? i was so confused when i got pregnant but counselling made me realise i could never have an abortion. although it sounds like you already know that. best of luck xx

 

[Becyboo__x]

RANT AND RAVE BEWARE!​

​

Sorry all the regulars im just going to ramble on now about everything cause im so pissed off its unreal and i dont know what to do or even talk to as theres no one i can talk to as in family/friends ..

Im basically pissed off with FOB people would say to me im lucky to have him supportive and actually wants to be there for his son etc but its driving me nutts! he basically wants me back and he wont stop asking if he can come see me or if he can stop by after college ''I DONT WANT YOU TO!!'' he cant get it in his head im not a nasty person tbh i dont want to hurt him anymore then i have but iv told him i only want to be friends and i dont feel same way towards him anymore hes got to deal with it even if its guna hurt him (sorry if i sound harsh and cruel) but my hormones are sky high and after iv had this baby my feelings arent going to suddenly go back to ooo i love you and want you back .. its not happening .. not just for the baby either he doesnt need his dad there tbh i wish he didnt want anything to do with baby tbh would make it easier he hasnt done nothin for this baby but he says he cant wait to see baby and everything but hes not going to be the 1 paying for food/nappies or anything its all going to be me me me and he cant even afford to give me money itll be his mum who has to .. i dont know anything about what money FOB is ment to give me either cause im sure its like £20 a week or month or something or have i got it completely wrong .. anyway i just wish i could move away from him so he couldnt bug me and everything .. and he hasnt told his mum weve split up again! iv told my mum and everything but his mums buying me stuff like dressing gown apparently and i dont want anything and now i feel so stupid cause shes got me stuff and thinks were together but were not and everything i dont know how to tell him nicely to just leave me alone i cant really cause he has every right cause o the baby but i dont want him touching my belly and acting all flirty with me and everything its not what i want when babys here i want to actually move on if i can and find someone else and be happy settle down but thats just going to be a palarva cause hell not want another guy handling baby and being there .. what can i do

i dont know how to even say anything to my ex anymore hell prob want to be there birth after birth and like everyday after and i really would rather be home with my mum/sister and just bond and settle down but hell end up saying hes missing out .. And he didnt like the name i did but hes finally said its okay but if he didnt want it i prob still call him what i want lol! but he was moaning about last name aswell.. but i said double barrelled or just mine cause i defo want my name in there cause we have no boys to carry on the last name and middle name and last name makes my grandads name which means alot to my dad.. but he went on one and said ''OH JUST GIVE HIM YOUR LAST NAME!''

Sorry its so long im just really annoyed .. dont expect anyone to write back either cause bet itll take ages to read! xxxx​

 

[QuintinsMommy]

lol i read it all becy!
you just have to tell him as it is, no matter if its harsh or not.
theres nothing you can do if you don't have feelings for him anymore.
you can't not let him see his son but doesn't mean you guys have to be together
you can always take him to court and work child support and visits and everything if need be
and I'm giving my son my last name even tho last time I spoke with FOB he wanted Quintin to have his last name, I was like no way!

 

[Becyboo__x]

Thanx for reading means alot
iv just emailed him now stupid way of doing it but i aint ringing him or anything cause it just makes it 10x worse between us .. but see what he says back to me iv told it straight like you said iv been straight with him all along but we not take it to court we would sort something out but im not letting him have LO when hes young stop his or anything like that cause he hasnt got the time anyway and iv said hes not stopping there till hes at least a year old! .. just annoys me so much i just want him to tell his mum hes not with me anymore but shell prob ask whats happening with baby then and she defo will wana see him and i havent got anything agenst it but i think his families guna hate me after he tells her weve split and everythin and ill prob get questioned why dont we get back together when i go over and i wont have a clue what to say back cause im quite shy most the time x

 

[QuintinsMommy]

I'm shy too, lol
I hope it works out, and I sure in time his mom will understand that you two just aren't ment to be I hope.

 

[Jas029]

GOODNESS
That was alot to read! (Not just you Becy I mean catching up on everything!)

Becy I'm in the same position as you with the O/H.. He wants to be there for his son and wants to be with me but I just don't want to be with him or even be around him!

He hopes that once I have the baby and the hormones aren't so crazy that I'll love him again and we'll be a couple again and I just don't feel the same way and I doubt that's gonna happen..
I don't mind him being there in his sons life but I honestly wish he would just find some other girl and move on with me!

 

[Becyboo__x]

I didnt think anyone was in same position as me i thought most just had arseoles of ex's that fucked off or something.. but glad someone same as me .. i should feel happy hes there for me and everything but i really just dont cause its not like hes brought anything for him that hell be needing or anything and i feel bad towards his mum cause shes having to dish out for baby if anyone but she only offered once when she found out when i was about 30 weeks but i feelt cheeky cause its his responsibility not hers and by time she offered and knew i had everything sorted so was too late! .. but i think im worse at min cause hormones ill admit it im all over place but i just dont feel same about fob anymore i proper want to start fresh next year and plan my future sounds silly but i just wish he would get someone and be happy but he told me min ago he wont get another gf because hell have a kid but tbh im not being horrible but he doesnt get many gfs if he does there all lil slappers .. but he said only person he wants is me but it makes me look bad telling him i dont want him and iv hurt him again today by telling him everything all over again about being friends and everything.. god i just feel like moving somewhere far away and basically starting over with nothing to get in my way! but i cant get away from him cause i wouldnt keep him from his son im not like that
x​

 

[Jas029]

Yeah we're definitely in the same position...
I really don't want to hurt him and it kills him when I avoid replying to his texts/IM's and when I don't invite him over and such..
But every time we're together in person he just irritates me and has his hands all over me and it just makes my skin crawl!
He's still so confident that everything will go back to how it was when I have this child and that I'll fall back into his arms and such and it just annoys me because I want to just tell him off but I can't!

He hasn't bought anything for the L/O or gave me any money.. He's kinda lost about what he needs to do financially but it doesn't help that he lost his job but that's another story.. I really don't feel like sharing
I'm inviting his mom and grandma to the baby shower because they both seem really sweet and excited about the pregnancy and I've only seen them like once and they haven't done anything when it comes to buying either..
But I know they both want to be there in their grandson/great grandsons life I don't understand why they aren't making that step further into my life but there's a big problem that stands between that but as I said before.. I really don't want to talk about that

Hang in there girl I know what it's like to be in that position
I'm glad I'm not the only one because I know everyone elses FOB's here are all like such d*ckheads and mine isn't and is actually really sweet and wants to be there and I'm just so lost about what I'm suppose to do

 

[Becyboo__x]

I feel the same mine always asks if he can come over and see me and stuff or he makes an excuse like his mums brought me something or he wants to show me something so he can come over but i end up just saying i dont feel well or something sounds daft but i dont know what to say.. but i did say to him theres no point in him coming over cause hes usually all over me and trying it on and im like ''leave me alone'' can tell he wants sex aswell but iv not been in the mood at all since iv been pregnant specially with a huge bump there just something i cant do at the minute and i wouldnt just do it with him cause hes there .. itll most likly make him feel i still want him aswell .. I dont know why i dont feel the same i used to love him to pieces but i think its after we split the first time it just broke down from there and like the lad i got with after him i just totally fell for and he actually was the lad of my dreams but he had a problem with drinking and we fel out alot and he got violent so he ended up leavin me when i was like 16 weeks pregnant cause i thought it was his baby cause i was with him and everythin but then i knew we used protection so it cant have been and i was like dead far along and i was with jamie (fob) then and it all worked out perfectly so i had to tell my ex the truth and he obv left me and called me a slag and everything and then after he told me he stil loved me and everythin but then he got with another girl 2days after and hes been with her since lol all a big mess but hes just stabbed me in heart with what he did i wont even explain all the violence and that hes not worth talking about really but worst thing is i still dream about him and i dont understand why sometimes i think these dreams mean something.. but they upset me tbh i wake up either crying or with a massive headache .. but i had a dream night before my 20week scan and dreamt i was having triplets i told all my family cause it was weird.. but that wasnt true obviously

sorry to ramble on lol x​

 

[Jas029]

Don't apologize for rambling this thread is all about ranting on about FOB!

I don't feel this way towards every guy just him!
Everything I don't want to do with him I can still imagine doing with another guy..
Just not him! Which is the main reason I think that I'm not just gonna fall right back inlove with him when I give birth..
It's not just the hormones.. It's him..

I have really weird dreams.. Being pregnant about 80% of my dreams are dirty these days
Now THAT I can blame on hormones!

 

[Becyboo__x]

i dont have dirty dreams i just dream about my ex or the baby or future lol and it just scares me thinking about the future but dreaming about it makes it weird cause in dreams most time they dont make sense or something..

I havent like met anyone or anything since iv been pregnant only my ex and FOB .. i must still feel i could get with someone else and cuddle them and everything but im waiting till iv had baby if i start seeing anyone or anything again but i dont want to meet someone and they mess me about cause if id have to let them see baby cause i cant just leave him on his own but i wunt want baby to see lads and then never see them again so think ill have to wait abit and see what happens but think its going to be hard to get back into a relationship with a lil one but there is some guys out there who are fine with it just got to find them lol! x​

 

[QuintinsMommy]

Don't apologize for rambling this thread is all about ranting on about FOB!

I don't feel this way towards every guy just him!
Everything I don't want to do with him I can still imagine doing with another guy..
Just not him! Which is the main reason I think that I'm not just gonna fall right back inlove with him when I give birth..
It's not just the hormones.. It's him..

I have really weird dreams.. Being pregnant about 80% of my dreams are dirty these days
Now THAT I can blame on hormones!

your not alone with the dirty dreams

 

[Jas029]

My mom still thinks I'm not old enough to date!
(They didn't know I was seeing the FOB obviously)

I decided to put guys off for awhile.. I want to focus on my L/O right now..
Not to mention it would just break the FOB's heart to jump into a relationship with another guy
I talk to afew guys online.. that's as much interaction with any other male that I get..
They all know I'm pregnant and some of them have been complete d*cks to me because of it but there are a few that are still really nice and I'd probably go crazy without them

 

[QuintinsMommy]

is your FOB the same age as you?

 

[Becyboo__x]

Yeah same really but iv already hurt FOB and i dont think much more could hurt him wel he actually told me if i get a new boyfriend then he dont want him taking over as daddy.. and he was going on about he might actually go in the army now and stay out my life if thats what i want.. that made me feel so bad i told him i didnt want him to go in the army cause he wants to go on the frontline and its a death sentence sorry if anyones got family in army or theyve lost anyone and stuff but i dont like people that go fighting in army and end up losing there lifes my cousins in army but he switched to office work with the army still but at least hes safe! .. I think ill just carry on talking to guys online that i know seems to bring my confidence back and feel myself again.. but iv lost most my girl mates and i just want some friends back to talk to and have propa chats but they all just basically ignored me after i fel pregnant nice friends huh.. x​

 

[Becyboo__x]

FOB to mine is 16 (17 in janaury)
and obviously iv just turned 18