i feel the same sometimessorreee i reli need to vent and none of my friends understand so its no use turning to them! I just need some kind of reasurrance iim feeling so crappy latelyso its fair to see me and fob are OVER not that i dare tell my fam that they still think the plan is that iim going to live with him in a few months when hes on his feet
but ive more than realised now how much of a cock he is and how im reli not in love with him anymore... I think it wud sting to see him with any1 else but not coa id be jealous, just coa hes the fob and its just one of them things but i know i dont love him now and dont wana wake up at 75 havin stayed with him forever for Dexters sake and regret my life, does that make sense? Only im feeling crappy cos i wanted it to be perfect for Dex i wanted him to have a proper family like i never hsd. I didnt want stepdads and kids to other men... I wanted to be with my chuldrens dad forever. I just feel like ive let down Dexter and myself
what can ya doi knowwHappy new year girlies..
this is our year
our babys will be here!!
one step closer now weve entered the year
LMAO
im such a geek..
12 days til my 20 week scan
wooo
any of you do anything exciting 4 new years
xxxx
people keep asking what i want to accomplish this year and im like "uhh motherhood? 
"im sorry
my FOB cant seem to get that into his skull either
i feel the same sometimessorreee i reli need to vent and none of my friends understand so its no use turning to them! I just need some kind of reasurrance iim feeling so crappy lately
90% of the time im happy im on my own.. but FOB is still kind of in contact which is annoying cos its a constant reminder of him! i mean its good he wants to be involved but he has a new gf and it does hurt because we were meant to be the "happy family" and whatever and i know i want more kids later in life and am dreading the "why do we have different surnames?" or "why do we have different daddys" questions
but i have kind of accepted it, theres no other way it can be so
xx
i hated having a different surname from my mum and brother it made me feel so isolated, and she says looking back she wishes she'd given us both her name so we could all have the same, so thats what i'd definitely do. i'm so sorry your having a hard time hun, i can imagine how gut wrenching it is to see him with someone else i just wish we could live in a nice world where all men were good people! I know that none of us deserve this and i wanna give big to everyone!!! I have a fantasy at the minute that me and my ex (not FOB) will get back together and raise Dexter together but i know that probably wont happen... and i also know i can never lie to Dex about who is dad is, its just unfair. But i really dont want him having anything to do with him, and thats not me being spiteful or bitter its just me looking out for my baby, cos i know he deserves better. I just wish Dexter could have a good daddy like what ive got.... Its such a shame but hey, ill be his mummy and daddy and he'll just get double the loving from me!!xx
when he told me. Its mad becuz i HATE drugs and he hid it from me but im trying to be ok bcuz he told me and he never did it again! But on the inside im soo annoyed! wev had sooo many ups and downs I mean he was cheating on me in the summer so we broke up 4 3 months and he was with other people! It literaly ripped my heart out however all the time he wantd me bk was always texting I was jus trying to prove a point! This will now be a 1 strike and ur out theres more than me who cant get hurt now and that WONT be happening!!!!Thats amazing and I hope it happens 4 u and Dexter!! I dno how i would cope if my OH left I love him to bits however hes not perfect! He Told me (2days ago) he took coke on his bday (December 4th) an e liked it however he wouldnt take it wen offerd 2days ago bcuz a me and the baby! He broke down crying
I dont know what i was thinking.... But hun i hope it works out between you and OH and dont put up with any shit, if the coke or cheating carries on show him that door and dont let him back in it! Youve given him his second chance! xx
i wish you all the best xx
Thats amazing and I hope it happens 4 u and Dexter!! I dno how i would cope if my OH left I love him to bits however hes not perfect! He Told me (2days ago) he took coke on his bday (December 4th) an e liked it however he wouldnt take it wen offerd 2days ago bcuz a me and the baby! He broke down crying
I also hate drugs an FOB is a big big lover... He doesnt do coke and pills that often but does them if offered, and i dont think he'll ever stop, well i know he wont, not for anyone cos theyve always been such a big part of his life... and he adores weed its like his best friend, hes always bitching on about it and has the parafanalia EVERYWHERE... i should have left him when we were out one night talking to this random bloke who said to FOB so if you were to choose between her and drugs which would it be and he hesitated for a lifetime before saying "Ellie would never make me choose"
haha i dont actually know..
or that!
