September Sweet Peas (Our 2015 Rainbows)

[Mrsgoodhart]

Oh, kdmalk.....you're not crazy. I think we're probably all like that to a degree, myself very much included. I have been openly pessimistic this pregnancy, to the point of following up any baby talk with "if it's even alive, anyway", and then I feel like if something DOES happen and we lose this one also, I'll have killed it with my negativity- now THAT is legit crazy.
I have no idea whatsoever about how to make you feel more sane about this....if you figure it out, please let us all know.

 

[knobby]

This is going to sound super pessimistic, but I just have to come out and say it....

Is anyone else just in a downward spiral throughout the beginning of
Pregnancy because you have had a loss? One day my boobs hurt horribly, the next they are hardly sore. I am cramping. I am cramping on one side. I am nauseous, I am totally fine. My test is the same color as the one two days ago (which is still not as dark as the control line). I had some brown spotting after my bfp and am worried it is starting again. I am trying to relax and just let this pregnancy happen, but I am carrying some serious tension and stress. I just feel like every ache or twinge (or lack thereof) means that history is destined to repeat itself and I will lose this baby too.

I just want to bring a baby home.

Please tell me I am not the only one feeling this way after a recent loss. And for those that aren't feeling crazy, any advice on trying to relax?

kdmalk, have you set up your first appointment yet? Because my dr knew my miscarriage history, he wanted to see me sooner than he normally would see me (~6weeks). I've had another appointment since then too. At both appointments scans were done and I have another scan in 2 weeks. It has really helped seeing the baby and see everything progress as it should and having dates to look forward to. I still get nervous about each scan but am very thankful to have this baby looked after so closely and to have the reassurance. I know I would be feeling exactly as you are right now otherwise.

So when you make your first appointment, if you haven't done so already, note your history and request an earlier appointment. It will help!

 

[kdmalk]

Oh, kdmalk.....you're not crazy. I think we're probably all like that to a degree, myself very much included. I have been openly pessimistic this pregnancy, to the point of following up any baby talk with "if it's even alive, anyway", and then I feel like if something DOES happen and we lose this one also, I'll have killed it with my negativity- now THAT is legit crazy.
I have no idea whatsoever about how to make you feel more sane about this....if you figure it out, please let us all know.

Glad to know I am not the only one feeling this way. I am just having an especially bad day today because of some cramping. Perhaps I can just consider being broody/angry and wanting to cry at the same time a really nice pregnancy symptom. Lol.

 

[maryanne1987]

Oh, kdmalk.....you're not crazy. I think we're probably all like that to a degree, myself very much included. I have been openly pessimistic this pregnancy, to the point of following up any baby talk with "if it's even alive, anyway", and then I feel like if something DOES happen and we lose this one also, I'll have killed it with my negativity- now THAT is legit crazy.
I have no idea whatsoever about how to make you feel more sane about this....if you figure it out, please let us all know.

Glad to know I am not the only one feeling this way. I am just having an especially bad day today because of some cramping. Perhaps I can just consider being broody/angry and wanting to cry at the same time a really nice pregnancy symptom. Lol.

Defo not the only one! Some days I'm so positive and I just think what will be will be, I can't change it. And others it gets me down so much when I think my chances of losing this baby are actually higher than it surving. Pregnancy is scary for anyone but once you have experienced a loss/losses it becomes the most terrifying thing in the world!

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

It IS the scariest thing! It doesn't help that I keep comparing this pregnancy and the last-- which is ridiculous being that the last one ended in absolute heartbreak. I'm trying to remember that if I could have symptoms like I did and it still died, that I shouldn't necessarily worry that I'm not falling asleep at 7pm....even though I have been for the past 2 1/2 weeks. I try and remember that....even though my boobs don't hurt today (at all really) my nipples are killing me!

At this point I feel like I really am grasping at straws to try and stay positive. Some days are easier than others, and this isn't one of them unfortunately.

 

[karenh]

I am sorry everyone is having a hard day. It is no fun waiting to see if we will loose this pregnancy like we did the last one. All I can do is what I can control. I am trying to focus on health habbits for I can do the best for my baby. I drink lots of water, focus on healthy eating, and take the dog for a walk after dinner. If my mind starts going down the negative path I try and change my senses. LISTEN to music, get a massage for FEEL, take a warm bath, light AROMA THEARAPY candle. Something that will physicaly make a change in your brain. Also. brain activities like sudoku, crosswords, solitare even can help. It isn't perfect but it has been helping me. I hope something can help you a little.

 

[confuzion]

This is going to sound super pessimistic, but I just have to come out and say it....

Is anyone else just in a downward spiral throughout the beginning of
Pregnancy because you have had a loss? One day my boobs hurt horribly, the next they are hardly sore. I am cramping. I am cramping on one side. I am nauseous, I am totally fine. My test is the same color as the one two days ago (which is still not as dark as the control line). I had some brown spotting after my bfp and am worried it is starting again. I am trying to relax and just let this pregnancy happen, but I am carrying some serious tension and stress. I just feel like every ache or twinge (or lack thereof) means that history is destined to repeat itself and I will lose this baby too.

I just want to bring a baby home.

Please tell me I am not the only one feeling this way after a recent loss. And for those that aren't feeling crazy, any advice on trying to relax?

Oh, kdmalk.....you're not crazy. I think we're probably all like that to a degree, myself very much included. I have been openly pessimistic this pregnancy, to the point of following up any baby talk with "if it's even alive, anyway", and then I feel like if something DOES happen and we lose this one also, I'll have killed it with my negativity- now THAT is legit crazy.
I have no idea whatsoever about how to make you feel more sane about this....if you figure it out, please let us all know.

I can say both of these describe my experience to a T. I am crazy. Trying to own the crazy.

FX for your scans tomorrow mrsgh and cutie.

Beautiful scan knobby!

So lovely to see so many new faces, welcome ladies, and wishing you all a happy healthy 9 months!

 

[babyfeva]

This is going to sound super pessimistic, but I just have to come out and say it....

Is anyone else just in a downward spiral throughout the beginning of
Pregnancy because you have had a loss? One day my boobs hurt horribly, the next

they are hardly sore. I am cramping. I am cramping on one side. I am nauseous, I am totally fine. My test is the same color as the one two days ago (which is still not as dark as the control line). I had some brown spotting after my bfp and am worried it is starting again. I am trying to relax and just let this pregnancy happen, but I am carrying some serious tension and stress. I just feel like every ache or twinge (or lack thereof) means that history is destined to repeat itself and I will lose this baby too.

I just want to bring a baby home.

Please tell me I am not the only one feeling this way after a recent loss. And for those that aren't feeling crazy, any advice on trying to relax?

Hun, I think we're all in the same boat. Suffering a loss plainly just SUCKS! I feel like I'll never be able to completely enjoy this pregnancy until I have a healthy baby in my arms. I'm so happy to have the support of all of you because truthfully nobody in my life outside of BNB really undetstands how I feel.

 

[kdmalk]

Thank you all so much for the responses. It actually lessens my burden to know I am not alone in my feelings. I feel so at home here.

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

Thank you all so much for the responses. It actually lessens my burden to know I am not alone in my feelings. I feel so at home here.

Me too! I refer to you all as "my girls". When I started cramping, I thought....I gotta tell my girls, they'll understand and help me feel better. And of course you did. Still cramping, but feeling a little more positive about it which helps.

I also read back through some journaling I did in my FIRST pregnancy (which resulted in the sleeping kindergartner upstairs) and I see that I cramped through almost the first trimester. I did have some bleeding at 9 weeks which ended up being nothing, and remembered the bleeding but forgot I cramped so much. So, that helped a little to read.

 

[jelly tots]

Hey not caught up yet but hope everyone is okay. Sorry I've been awol but been so tired after work and sorting monkey out for bed all I've done is sleep.
Had my scan yesterday, turns out I'm nearly two weeks behind what I thought I was, the joy of not having had af since September. I'm approx 4.5 weeks and have a well placed blob. Bad news is I started spotting today, cue floods of tears, me getting very upset and getting sent home for the afternoon. Only bad thing is I had to tell work sooner than I planned. Good news is spotting was mainly brown and seems to have eased off a bit now.
Here is yesterday's pic

 

[knobby]

Good luck with your scans today Mrsgoodhart and cutieq!

Jellytots, Do you think you ovulated later than you originally thought? Also, I hope you're just having normal pregnancy spotting.

 

[jelly tots]

Yeah I think I must have, I only dtd the 10th & 12th December so literally just guessed I must have ov'd over those dates. Must have ov'd a few days later and then implanted another good few days later. Ooo you never know, might be a girl this time as apparently the female spermies tend to last a lot longer. I am hopeful it is just settling in but the fact I was at the gym just before it started is what a worrying me. Seems to have stopped now but I have been on the sofa catching up on game of thrones all afternoon.

 

[babyfeva]

Hey not caught up yet but hope everyone is okay. Sorry I've been awol but been so tired after work and sorting monkey out for bed all I've done is sleep.
Had my scan yesterday, turns out I'm nearly two weeks behind what I thought I was, the joy of not having had af since September. I'm approx 4.5 weeks and have a well placed blob. Bad news is I started spotting today, cue floods of tears, me getting very upset and getting sent home for the afternoon. Only bad thing is I had to tell work sooner than I planned. Good news is spotting was mainly brown and seems to have eased off a bit now.
Here is yesterday's pic

I hope the spotting is harmless. Will you contact your doctor about the spotting? Do you have another scan scheduled?

 

[babyfeva]

I just realized I'm 7 weeks. Of course I'm all stressed out because I miscarried at this time in June. Also feel like my symptoms are weaning off.

 

[kdmalk]

Sigh. Woke up to red spotting. Wiped twice and it was dark red. Not much at all. Took a shower and then peed again, wiped brown. Called doctor as soon as they opened. She did go ahead and call in my progesterone to the pharmacy and they took blood. Going to do a beta and check my progesterone. Only wiping a bit of brown now. Hope everything turns out alright.

Of course I can't catch a break after losing one. I get to do this again. Sigh.

 

[babyfeva]

Sigh. Woke up to red spotting. Wiped twice and it was dark red. Not much at all. Took a shower and then peed again, wiped brown. Called doctor as soon as they opened. She did go ahead and call in my progesterone to the pharmacy and they took blood. Going to do a beta and check my progesterone. Only wiping a bit of brown now. Hope everything turns out alright.

Of course I can't catch a break after losing one. I get to do this again. Sigh.

Oh no, I'm sorry. Hopefully it's nothing. Keep us updated. We're here for you.

 

[maryanne1987]

So sorry for all the ladies that are having spotting today! Truely hope it's nothing. With my ds I spotted all the way through, it ranged from pink to brown and sometimes bright red. He was born perfectly healthy though. I know it's a silly thing to say but try not to worry too much. Hugs.

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

Here it is! We have a tiny little gummy bear looking alive baby with a heartbeat! Heart rate was 136- saw it even on the transabdominal, though everything looked clearer on the transvaginal. Nice sized gestational sac and big hefty yolk sac too.
This is amazing!!
Baby measured a day ahead so they decided I am 6+6 and my due date is now actually 9/4, which is my son's 7th birthday. So cool!
Picture is sideways, don't know why, sorry

 

[knobby]

Congrats on the amazing scan Mrsgoodhart! my due date is just one day before yours!