***September testing group***

[cheerios]

Thanks love. It is so hard. I’m so happy for the ladies on here that get there BFPs but I do find it so hard when you been trying ages and others just go bam and fall. That used to be me once but since turning 40 it’s been so much harder.
I’m gonna give myself until I’m 45 and if still no baby by then I’m gonna call it a day.

I pray you and I both do get our healthy sticky Rainbow BFPs and take home Rainbow babies

when I had the 4 losses in the space of 7 months I was on the verge of giving up but then month 11 I fell with my son. So that’s what’s keeping me going now.
I keep thinking it took 11 months last time when I was 40 and it will probably take that long again.
I just hate this part the most. The knowing your out and having to wait to bleed and ovulation all over again. I’m just so done with it all and just wish so much I would fall with my rainbow.
I’ve seen a lot of 40 and 41 year olds on here having babies naturally but all the women that are 42 and that I’ve known on here over the years have never gotten there rainbow. I don’t think I’ve seen one. I see them pregnant but then they lose.
And from 43 it’s basically saying to use donner eggs. So that just gives me no hope.
it’s so frustrating because I did fall twice. So I thought I must be still very fertile to fall. Back when I was 40 I was falling pregnant every 2 months but then losing.
Then we was only trying this time for 2 months and I fell then I fell agian 2 cycles later:
And now it’s been nearly 4 cycles since my miscarriage and I haven’t fallen.
I’m definitely ovulating every month because I temp just until after ovulation then I stop temping. But my temp shoots up at 1dpo and I get strong ovulation pains etc so I am definitely ovulating. I don’t know maybe I just don’t have any good eggs anymore. It’s so hard to stay positive when all u get is loss or BFNs.
Maybe I should just count my blessings and stop now I don’t know. Always feel very negative at this point in the cycle.
It’s just so crappy.
Good luck this cycle love.

So I tested again with wondfo 10mlU and Frer and Aplan and all BFN.
AF normally shows at 15dpo but didn’t until 17dpo last cycle.
Feeling so so down

Hey hun
Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly. I feel your pain. It's hard to feel motivated to continue TTCing when there doesn't seem to be any woman above 42 who does get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy. I think I saw a TV program, was it called "born every minute" or something and there was a mom in her 40s, I don't remember how old, who got pregnant with twins just when she thought she was hitting menopause, so I'm assuming she was late 40s. She carried the twin pregnancy to completion and she has two older children, I think her oldest is 16.

It *is* very hard to figure out when to stop and when to continue. Have you checked your ovarian egg reserve?? Is there a way to check for egg quality too? I know I got my ovarian egg reserve checked last month at the fertility specialist and she said I have a good egg reserve. I wasn't surprised cos I have PCOS and for many years, I would have irregular cycles so I would ovulate sometimes only once in 6 months. That would "save" all my eggs up until now. I'm just thinking perhaps there might be some tests you could run to help you on your TTC journey.

 

[HalfricanMa]

Hey hun
Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly. I feel your pain. It's hard to feel motivated to continue TTCing when there doesn't seem to be any woman above 42 who does get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy. I think I saw a TV program, was it called "born every minute" or something and there was a mom in her 40s, I don't remember how old, who got pregnant with twins just when she thought she was hitting menopause, so I'm assuming she was late 40s. She carried the twin pregnancy to completion and she has two older children, I think her oldest is 16.

It *is* very hard to figure out when to stop and when to continue. Have you checked your ovarian egg reserve?? Is there a way to check for egg quality too? I know I got my ovarian egg reserve checked last month at the fertility specialist and she said I have a good egg reserve. I wasn't surprised cos I have PCOS and for many years, I would have irregular cycles so I would ovulate sometimes only once in 6 months. That would "save" all my eggs up until now. I'm just thinking perhaps there might be some tests you could run to help you on your TTC journey.

What a clever idea!

 

[josephine3]

@HalfricanMa I usually get better lines in the evening.. Do you have a pic of yours?

 

[josephine3]

I can't believe there's so many of us at testing time right now it's great to have ladies to go through it with maybe our cycles are syncing haha

 

[josephine3]

I'm going to be pretty down if I don't get a bfp this cycle though I must admit. I feel so strongly that I am I haven't felt this way in a long time x

 

[littlewitch]

I don’t know whether to take this as my peak or not. It’s the darkest one today but usually the test line seems fainter when it peaks so not confident. We bd’d last night so I don’t know whether to go again tonight or wait until tomorrow night. I’d like to cover both but I’m not sure he’d be up for that
View attachment 1111414

Looks like peak! I would get in some more BD tonight!

 

[Suggerhoney]

Ahhh @jellybeanxx how can the frer be negstive after that obvious line??!! I felt so sure that was your bfp!!
@Suggerhoney sorry about all the bfns I'm still hoping you're in with a chance this cycle.
Finally catching up here after work.. Test this morning looked bfn, this eve Im not sure. Anyone ever stare a test/tests so much you genuinely have no idea anymore if there a line or not?! That's kinda where I'm at with this one!

View attachment 1111415 View attachment 1111416 View attachment 1111417

Yes I totally do that lol. Thing is yesterdays lines were there and u could see them. They were just faint. And all the tests since have been BFN. The. ICs May of had the slightest shadow but I find most of them do that.
If I stare at yours I feel like thats not completely BFN. Feel like something is catching my eye.
Ure still early love so still time. but I’m nearly 11dpo and that Frer was stark stark white.

@josephine3 I totally know what you mean because DH and I have done that this afternoon! I don’t know that I see anything on yours but I’ve made myself cross-eyed trying to see the faint line DH says he saw. Haha!
Do you get better lines in the evening or in the morning?

Oh it’s funny you say your husband can see a line because men are normally absolutely useless at seeing faint lines lol. Can

Hey hun
Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly. I feel your pain. It's hard to feel motivated to continue TTCing when there doesn't seem to be any woman above 42 who does get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy. I think I saw a TV program, was it called "born every minute" or something and there was a mom in her 40s, I don't remember how old, who got pregnant with twins just when she thought she was hitting menopause, so I'm assuming she was late 40s. She carried the twin pregnancy to completion and she has two older children, I think her oldest is 16.

It *is* very hard to figure out when to stop and when to continue. Have you checked your ovarian egg reserve?? Is there a way to check for egg quality too? I know I got my ovarian egg reserve checked last month at the fertility specialist and she said I have a good egg reserve. I wasn't surprised cos I have PCOS and for many years, I would have irregular cycles so I would ovulate sometimes only once in 6 months. That would "save" all my eggs up until now. I'm just thinking perhaps there might be some tests you could run to help you on your TTC journey.

Hi love. I actually had bloods to check that in December 2020 after having the 4 chemicals but I never got the results as I fell with my son in the following month.
I also had all my hormones checked b4 and after ovulation and everything came back good. Also was tested for Lupas and had my thyroid checked and all normal.

I really don’t want them knowing we are ttc. So it has to happen naturally or not at all.
So can’t get those tests done again.
I have to just hope I still have some good eggs left.
I was told as long as I’m ovulating every month then I have a great chance. And I definitely am.
So I hold on to that hope.
I am on a Facebook group called women ttc 40 and over and there have been a few women there have babies at 43 44 45 and even 46 Naturally.

also after I had my son last year the midwife was like see you again in a year or two and I was like I’m nearly 42 so I highly doubt it. She said lots of women are having babies naturally now over 40. I then was told they had a 47 48 and a 54 year old women all have babies there and all pregnant naturally.
The 54 year old thought she was dying from cancer and her late mother had this cancer. Turned out it wasn’t cancer she was pregnant.
She had a healthy baby boy a few weeks b4 I had my son.

also on seeing the midwife’s following my sons birth I was told they had a 43 year old women on there books pregnant naturally.

I think @tdog mum had her brother naturally at 45.

I was told also as I’ve not long had my son I would have a better chance of having another baby but I don’t really get that.
My GP told me to start trying last November but my son was just 9 weeks old and I wasn’t ready. I did ask if we could leave it until the new year and she said that should be ok.

I just to share some positive stories with you.
It does happen but when it’s you you just feel like it won’t happen to you.
But I never thought I would get my youngest and I did.
That’s why I need to keep trying because if I would of just given up I wouldn’t of had him.

it’s just crappy how you don’t see women on here that are 42 43 44 or more and pregnant naturally.
I mean you do but they always end up miscarrying.

we had a lady that was pregnant with her 11th baby and she was 43 but lost her baby at 13 weeks. She did try again but never ever got her rainbow.

and there was another lady on here that was ttc at 42 and she must be 46 now and never got her rainbow.

That’s what makes me worry but then I think of that Facebook group and all them on there. I think there is even a women that was 48 and found herself unexpectedly pregnant.

also on YouTube there are women on there that are 43 and one 44 year old lady. She must it had her baby now, she fell naturally.
Then u look at all the comments and it was full of women who are pregnant or had a baby in there early and mid 40s.

That’s the kinda stuff that does give me hope.

 

[Suggerhoney]

These were my tests from the miscarriage I had in June.
Surly for my tests to be that dark I must still have some good eggs left. With all the chemicals in 2020 and the chemical in April my lines never got no where near that dark. They just was faint and that’s when a recurring pregnancy doctor said it’s probably bad egg supply and poor ovarian reserve. But the I fell with my son.

these tests cause me pain but I’m sharing them just to show that I must still have some good eggs left. Or am I clutching at straws.

 

[AlwaysTheAunt]

I really believe you will get your rainbow @Suggerhoney. But it is so hard going in month after month trying and seeing bfn or a loss. I definitely hurt seeing people fall quickly or accidentally. It stung and i would yell at my phone. This cycle i took the coq10 and every day i kept saying to myself i will fall pregnant, then in the tww i started saying I am pregnant. Really tried to manifest it. Big hugs for the bfn. I know that you just feel it when you're out but i still pray for a miracle bfp for you at 11dpo. Xx

 

[AlwaysTheAunt]

@jellybeanxx oh damn sorry for the frer being negative. I could easily see lines on your tests! Its frustrating getting lines that disappear or dont progress.

 

[AlwaysTheAunt]

I love your line progression!! Nice!! Do you have a new photo to update us??? I don't think I've ever tested that early, since I've had early miscarriages before, I try to wait as long as possible to test so I don't get disappointed.

I do have a new pic now. Im in Aus so different time zone to most of the ladies i here. Sadly it seems to almost be the opposite time of day! Lately i havent really been testing but this month I wanted to feel more involved in the group/just felt like i should buy tests. They take a week to arrive so have to plan in advance if i want the cheapies. If i have them i pee on them

 

[AlwaysTheAunt]

11dpo photos ladies i am out of frer now so likely wont post any more photos here. Cheapies are horrid for progression lol but I'm so happy and it really doesnt feel real. I feel like there is slight progression on the frer which is great because i drank water overnight and a coffee before i managed to test this morning.

The only 'Symptoms' i had this cycle were cramping about 6-8dpo, and 9dpo woke up feeling like i was going to vomit. Had nausea since. My boobs aren't sore at all so i was shocked!

 

[AlwaysTheAunt]

Cheapie prpgression 9dpo-11dpo fmu in case anyone was curious.

I will try not post anymore tests here as I know they can sting to see

 

[josephine3]

@AlwaysTheAunt great to see the cheapie progression we love looking at tests post away!! X

 

[Suggerhoney]

I really believe you will get your rainbow @Suggerhoney. But it is so hard going in month after month trying and seeing bfn or a loss. I definitely hurt seeing people fall quickly or accidentally. It stung and i would yell at my phone. This cycle i took the coq10 and every day i kept saying to myself i will fall pregnant, then in the tww i started saying I am pregnant. Really tried to manifest it. Big hugs for the bfn. I know that you just feel it when you're out but i still pray for a miracle bfp for you at 11dpo. Xx

Thanks love. I guess I will just have to keep trying and hope.
U so deserve that BFP love after all this time trying and trying.

I was just looking a Coq10.
What ones did you get? I found some on Amazon for 16 pounds and I think there 600mg.

the only thing I did different after the 4 chemicals in 2020 was introducing Galatanised Maca root and Folate to my already vitamin D. Started them at the very beginning of November 2020 and then fell with my son in the January. Also they took baby Aspirin 75mg from my first faint BFP at 10dpo.

I have been taking the vitamin D and folate this time and I did start the aspirin at 10dpo with the miscarriage but the only thing I haven’t took is the maca.

I think I may try that agian. See how I get on with that and if by December Nothing is happening I mite try coq10 as well.

hoping the maca will be enough. I did start taking maca after the chemical in April but by cd16 I still hadn’t got peak and then read maca can delay ovulation.
As my ovulation was always cd13 I stopped the maca on cd16 and ovulation was cd19.
thing is tho I don’t know if I would of ovulated at all if I would of kept taking it.

it’s weird because it didn’t do that in 2020. The latest ovulated then while taking maca was cd15.

But the latest I’ve ovulated since ttc this time was cd20 after covid.

so I’m gonna try the macca and just see how I get on. And hopefully I will ovulate on it even if it is day 20.

i think I mite take it through October and November and if it does screw my cycles up then will just have to stop it.

 

[josephine3]

And it's bang on midnight here in the UK if you are wondering about the time difference x

 

[Suggerhoney]

Cheapie prpgression 9dpo-11dpo fmu in case anyone was curious.

I will try not post anymore tests here as I know they can sting to see

View attachment 1111425

Don’t you be silly you keep posting love. We want to see these beautiful BFPs u have been trying for 2 years love.
I’m really really thrilled for you

 

[Suggerhoney]

And it's bang on midnight here in the UK if you are wondering about the time difference x

Yep 12:02 now so officially 11 dpo.
Just had some mild sharp pain right about above the pubic bone which was a bit odd.
But had what I thought was implantation pains at 5 and 6 dpo. I know im just clutching at straws. Probably my body getting ready for the who should be here at 15dpo. Was 17dpo last cycle so hope I don’t have that long to wait.
Want this cycle over with now

 

[littlewitch]

These were my tests from the miscarriage I had in June.
Surly for my tests to be that dark I must still have some good eggs left. With all the chemicals in 2020 and the chemical in April my lines never got no where near that dark. They just was faint and that’s when a recurring pregnancy doctor said it’s probably bad egg supply and poor ovarian reserve. But the I fell with my son.

these tests cause me pain but I’m sharing them just to show that I must still have some good eggs left. Or am I clutching at straws.
View attachment 1111419 View attachment 1111420

Suggerhoney --i think these tests prove that you still have good eggs.

 

[jellybeanxx]

@Suggerhoney it’s just rubbish isn’t it? I don’t know why we keep putting ourselves through it, it definitely gets harder each time and feels less and less likely. You have a good fertility history on your side though, and while when you’re in the midst of it, 11 months of trying can feel like an eternity, it’s still within the range of normal so I wouldn’t take that as a sign it’ll take a really long time this time around. I know how difficult it is to be positive at this point in a cycle though!

@josephine3 I know exactly what you mean about staring at tests. Can’t be good for our eyes! I do see something on that but can’t quite focus on it if that makes sense?

@elmum thanks lovely, I don’t think it was the time of day, when I’ve been pregnant before I’ve had my strongest lines in the afternoon/evening. Plus I’d been out and hadn’t really drunk anything and had a few hours hold.

I guess I’ll just have to see what tomorrow brings. My entire TTC experience tends to be constant limbo. I wish I had predictable cycles!