Shit shit shit. [update pg 20]

[rjb]

I really appreciate everyone helping me through this.
I'm building up the courage to talk to them. So maybe at dinner tonight.
:/
Wish my FOB could be here to support me

 

[fantastica]

Hope it goes ok, stay strong hun, it might be scary but it'll be worth it in the end, let us know how you get on xx

 

[annawrigley]

Well, 17thy, since we're going with that patronising tone...
How can you say you wouldnt be in that situation? What an ignorant thing to say. Like she chose to be in this situation Maybe if you had lived your whole life in fear of your parents and them having total control over you, you would have no choice but to be 'meek'.

And i'm not sure running away and getting married at 17 to make a point is the greatest display of maturity or the greatest advice to be giving someone... Maybe he did 'GET OVER IT', thats not to say rjb's parents would. And she wants to maintain a relationship with them, she has this thing called respect for them which most people tend to have for their parents...

 

[Rhio92]

Well, 17thy, since we're going with that patronising tone...
How can you say you wouldnt be in that situation? What an ignorant thing to say. Like she chose to be in this situation Maybe if you had lived your whole life in fear of your parents and them having total control over you, you would have no choice but to be 'meek'.

And i'm not sure running away and getting married at 17 to make a point is the greatest display of maturity or the greatest advice to be giving someone... Maybe he did 'GET OVER IT', thats not to say rjb's parents would. And she wants to maintain a relationship with them, she has this thing called respect for them which most people tend to have for their parents...

I agree... running away makes you look very immature. Trust me, I was a runaway teen, and no one takes runaway teens seriously (unless you're escaping something like violence).

rjb, I've just read the entire thread and don't know what to say sorry Don't listen to anyway being patronising, we can't imagine what it's like to be you right now Stay strong hun, we're all here for you, do what you think is best, and we'll back you all the way xxx

 

[rjb]

it's all over and done now.
i can't talk to him anymore or they'll take custody.
that's it.

 

[AriannasMama]

Hon, they can't take custody just because you are talking to FOB. They can tell you those lies all they want but unless you are an unfit mother they CANNOT take Adelaide from you. Wanting her father in her life doesn't make you unfit, if he is a good guy now then its the right thing to do, especially if he wants to be around.

 

[aafscsweetie]

Yes, hun, like we've all said before, they can't take custody JUST because you are talking to your FOB. They really can't. Think about it- In court, a judge would ask why your parents thought you were unfit to take care of your daughter, like if you were doing anything illegal or were violent/unstable- which you're not!!

 

[rjb]

they said the court will look at it as letting an unstable person in her life and will award them custody

 

[xforuiholdonx]

**Breathes very deeply.**
Your parents are a bunch of assholes.
FOB needs to get the court system involved. immediately.
Its not right. Nor is it fair. You need to do a little research on the computer and see if there is a family shelter around that will help you get on your feet. You cannot live in fear of losing your child bc your parents try to control you. That is NOT healthy for you, or for her.

 

[x__amour]

Fuckfuckfuck. What the fuck!
No, no! Becca, your parents can't take custody of Adelaide! Damn, this infuriates me so much, it's breaking my heart to see you like this! They can't treat you like this, they are mentally abusing you! Trying to threaten you and push you around, dangling custody over your head, it's so WRONG! They shouldn't be controlling who you talk to, where you go, it's sickening they won't even let you out of the house without them, it must be so suffocating! I never, ever try to tell people how to parent but this is just crossing the line. I can't even imagine how you feel right now. Shit. They won't even listen to you, which is awful. Families are supposed to have communication skills. Damnit. I feel so helpless, I don't know what to do or what to say for you. My heart just breaks for you...

 

[newmommy23]

hun it's actually illegal for them to not allow you to tell the babies father. he has rights as a paternal parent. If they were to take you to court they would lose. You aren't an unfit parent and its pretty damn hard to take a baby from its mother otherwise. They would honestly make themselves look a fool in court.

 

[faolan5109]

Reguardless of what they say they can take you child. They cant, and the FOB needs to get the court involved so he can see his child. Its not there baby man and they have no say. Nothing they can do about it. Tell him to go the court for custody.

Hope it all works out.

 

[rainbows_x]

Hope the talk went well. x

 

[rjb]

i told him to go to court for rights because until he did there was nothing i could do.
i really hope he gets them, because this is killing me.

 

[rjb]

there's just nothing i can do to get us out of here.
i have nowhere to go, and my parents said if i walked out the door with her i would never get custody back.
her father can't come get her because he currently has no rights to her (he's not on the bc)
there's really nothing i can do.
my parents made that very clear last night.

 

[vinteenage]

I'm with Shannon, Becca this is just heart breaking.

Getting him to get court ordered rights is a very good step in the right direction! I hope he takes action.

 

[Abz1982]

How does it work with local calls in teh US? Is there no one local enough who could maybe call up a laywer - or the local police - and ask them if what the parents are saying is true?

 

[rjb]

How does it work with local calls in teh US? Is there no one local enough who could maybe call up a laywer - or the local police - and ask them if what the parents are saying is true?

i'm not sure what the means tbh

 

[vinteenage]

there's just nothing i can do to get us out of here.
i have nowhere to go, and my parents said if i walked out the door with her i would never get custody back.
her father can't come get her because he currently has no rights to her (he's not on the bc)
there's really nothing i can do.
my parents made that very clear last night.

Becca your parents are so full of shit. The bolded? Absolutely not true as far as what I can tell. I've been looking things up all morning. You are the only one who has legal rights to your child right now.

Stop believe everything they say. You obviously have access to a computer, look things up yourself.

Can you add the FOB on Facebook? Email him? Something? Do that. Tell him to look into legal action, tell him to serve you papers, you'll then be required to attend court and your parents can't stop it, tell him to pursue a court mandated paternity test. It may be a total pain for him to do but hopefully he cares enough about Adelaide to do it.

 

[rjb]

there's just nothing i can do to get us out of here.
i have nowhere to go, and my parents said if i walked out the door with her i would never get custody back.
her father can't come get her because he currently has no rights to her (he's not on the bc)
there's really nothing i can do.
my parents made that very clear last night.

Becca your parents are so full of shit. The bolded? Absolutely not true as far as what I can tell. I've been looking things up all morning. You are the only one who has legal rights to your child right now.

Stop believe everything they say. You obviously have access to a computer, look things up yourself.

Can you add the FOB on Facebook? Email him? Something? Do that. Tell him to look into legal action, tell him to serve you papers, you'll then be required to attend court and your parents can't stop it, tell him to pursue a court mandated paternity test. It may be a total pain for him to do but hopefully he cares enough about Adelaide to do it.

that's what i've told him to do, and no i can't add him as my parents monitor everything i do/say on the computer
but i did tell him to that and i'm sure he will.
tbh, i have no idea where to start looking, as my parents say they've already spoken to the court and the court said my parents might be able to.
it's really just fucked up, and i'm not going to forgive them for this.