Shit shit shit. [update pg 20]

[vinteenage]

there's just nothing i can do to get us out of here.
i have nowhere to go, and my parents said if i walked out the door with her i would never get custody back.
her father can't come get her because he currently has no rights to her (he's not on the bc)
there's really nothing i can do.
my parents made that very clear last night.

Becca your parents are so full of shit. The bolded? Absolutely not true as far as what I can tell. I've been looking things up all morning. You are the only one who has legal rights to your child right now.

Stop believe everything they say. You obviously have access to a computer, look things up yourself.

Can you add the FOB on Facebook? Email him? Something? Do that. Tell him to look into legal action, tell him to serve you papers, you'll then be required to attend court and your parents can't stop it, tell him to pursue a court mandated paternity test. It may be a total pain for him to do but hopefully he cares enough about Adelaide to do it.

that's what i've told him to do, and no i can't add him as my parents monitor everything i do/say on the computer
but i did tell him to that and i'm sure he will.
tbh, i have no idea where to start looking, as my parents say they've already spoken to the court and the court said my parents might be able to.
it's really just fucked up, and i'm not going to forgive them for this.

How do you know they spoke to the court?

This is such bullshit Becca, I'm so mad on your behalf.

However, they must not monitor too closely or they wouldn't they know you're posting on here?

 

[birdiex]

Sorry to butt in, but I've been stalking the thread and do you realise you could just change your facebook password and delete the pages where you added him in the history of your browser? Or he could set up an account under another name and you could clear the chat history when you speak to him, so that your parents cannot find out or see either who he is or what he's written

 

[rjb]

they can read what i post on here.
i just don't care if they do anymore.
they deserve to see how much this hurts me.
and it's a program that takes a snapshot of the screen every 1-5 minutes, so there's really no way around it.

 

[vinteenage]

they can read what i post on here.
i just don't care if they do anymore.
they deserve to see how much this hurts me.
and it's a program that takes a snapshot of the screen every 1-5 minutes, so there's really no way around it.

That is so sickening. So, so, so sickening.

Dear Becca's parents,
Really? Why are you doing this? I understand you are trying to protect your daughter and granddaughter but you may very well end up injuring both of them in the long run. It will most likely lead to more sneaking and deception. Please help your daughter help herself instead of causing her pain and resentment.
- Daphne

 

[rjb]

they honestly think what they're doing is best.
i cant imagine how though

 

[Marzipan_girl]

I just read this through....I don't even know what to say....

Your parents are fucking nuts. But if they're reading this, i'm sure they don't care. They must think they're parents of the year....
I'm so sorry sweetie...apart from what everyone else has said, I don't have any advice. I pray they start to listen to you...

 

[vinteenage]

they honestly think what they're doing is best.
i cant imagine how though

Did you sneak around a lot before Adelaide was born?

I have/had a friend who sneaked around a ton. I mean like, daily, would lie to her parents about where she was, where she was spending the night, etc. On more than one occasion I believed she was putting herself in a dangerous situation and seriously considered calling her parents and telling them. I never did though. Her parents were Jehovah's Witnesses and strict, but not unreasonably so at all and she felt a need to "act out". Her parents never caught on.

Could your parents think you're trying to sneak around? Or have reason to believe you did in the past?

This doesn't justify their actions but it explains them. They do need to take into consideration now that you are someone's mother and while you may need help making some decisions, that does not mean they get to decide for you. I fully believe is it necessary to at least give FOB an opportunity to be in Adelaide's life.

Don't you have an older sister? Could you speak to her? Explain to her? Surely she can't completely side with your parents.

 

[Lauraxamy]

Honestly why would your parents want to seperate a mother and baby, it's awful. I really hope they sort their heads out and realise they just can't control you or your baby nor can they take her, it's so, so wrong. Hope you all find a way to sort it out.

 

[zoe6660]

i dont know the laws and stuff out there but here is one option out of the few, this one is the hardest one...
stay with your parents, u have to grow up coz ur a mother and finish school and college get a job get out, and the end of this you dont have to see speak to your mother or father again, if they going to treat u like this, use them, take advantaged of them and they house, let them help you with your child, but set rules for them like they have for you, u can only make things happen if u do something about it.
i belive no one can take your child away from you unless u hand it over (no sure if this is right) or ur not looking after her.
fuck them and take advantaged i know this is going to be hard VERY hard but it will be hard when u on your own at 15 rising a child.
i wish u the best.
p.s i dont have a child but i moved out at a young age and back home now and my parents can be dicks sometimes with me but i tell them how it is and at the end of the day i help and do them favours and if they slip up they wont see me again and thats they fault.
let your family know if they not going to support you now dont bother once u gone to contact you.
my fiance auntie said "when u have a child u have to do everything in your power to support and care for this it isnt for a few months its for life time." and this is true no way when i have children they grow up are going to be treated like that, as humans we can communicate and work things out and no matter how my future child do with they life i will alway be here and guide them to do the right.

 

[aafscsweetie]

Jesus christ, I can't believe your parents, Becca!! It is seriously like being in a cult- they have completely brainwashed you into thinking that this is ok, when it is CLEARLY not!!! FOB absolutely MUST start a custody/paternity battle. He has to!! He has every right to his daughter. I cannot believe this.

Becca, do a little roleplay with me and just try to realize how ridiculous of a claim this is:

Lawyer: Mr and Mrs "Becca", why do you feel your daughter is an unfit mother? Has she done anything illegal?
Parents: Uh... no... nothing illegal.
Lawyer: No drugs?
Parents: No.
Lawyer: No abuse?
Parents: No.
Lawyer: ...

Becca, they literally have nothing that they can say about you! No judge will just give custody to someone else just for shits and giggles. You are her mother and that cannot be taken away. Ahhhhh I am so frustrated. I hope your FOB is really serious about pursuing legal action.

 

[rjb]

they honestly think what they're doing is best.
i cant imagine how though

Did you sneak around a lot before Adelaide was born?

I have/had a friend who sneaked around a ton. I mean like, daily, would lie to her parents about where she was, where she was spending the night, etc. On more than one occasion I believed she was putting herself in a dangerous situation and seriously considered calling her parents and telling them. I never did though. Her parents were Jehovah's Witnesses and strict, but not unreasonably so at all and she felt a need to "act out". Her parents never caught on.

Could your parents think you're trying to sneak around? Or have reason to believe you did in the past?

This doesn't justify their actions but it explains them. They do need to take into consideration now that you are someone's mother and while you may need help making some decisions, that does not mean they get to decide for you. I fully believe is it necessary to at least give FOB an opportunity to be in Adelaide's life.

Don't you have an older sister? Could you speak to her? Explain to her? Surely she can't completely side with your parents.

She's totally on my parents side actually.
maybe even more so.
i didn't sneak around a lot, but i admit i did some.
but no i definitely never lied about where i was or who i was with.
i just snuck around some.
i don't think that the monitoring is completely unjustified.
i just couldn't sneak around lol

 

[x__amour]

Kayla, I'm sure they're thinking. "But nooo! She slept with the boy she loved and conceived a beautiful child and is a wonderful mother that takes care of her! It's just SOOO awful that she HAS to have her taken away because she wants the FATHER of her BABY to SEE her BABY! Can you believe it?! Grant custody to us!"

 

[Rhio92]

OMG Becca, we've never really 'spoke' before, but this thread is making me really sad I want to kidnap you and FOB myselg and you can come live with me away from it all!
Seriously though, you deserve so so so much better than what you're getting... Can't your parents see what damage they're doing??? xxx

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Becca, I know I don't know you personally, but the things I want to say about them and their shit will get me banned most likely ...

I am studying law in Scotland, I know the basics. Give me your email address, I'll ask my family law professor who also teaches in the USA what the score is, get a proper, legal email sent to you and you can ram it up your parents arses until they get paper cuts.

I'm being serious though, give me an email address and I will get advice from her, do my own research and you can take control of your life.

People like your parents and their actions are the reason I want to do pro bono family law.

 

[hurryupsept]

ive been following this thread, and didnt want to read and run. i dont have any legal advice for you, but like all other girls on here i want to make it clear, that they CANNOT take YOUR daughter away from you! ... try and take all the advice being given cause these girls are all talking sense ... this situation is awful and heart breaking, i hope things work out for you and your LO and soon!

 

[aafscsweetie]

I hope that you believe the 15 or so people on this thread that have told you that they cannot take your daughter away

 

[rjb]

Becca, I know I don't know you personally, but the things I want to say about them and their shit will get me banned most likely ...

I am studying law in Scotland, I know the basics. Give me your email address, I'll ask my family law professor who also teaches in the USA what the score is, get a proper, legal email sent to you and you can ram it up your parents arses until they get paper cuts.

I'm being serious though, give me an email address and I will get advice from her, do my own research and you can take control of your life.

People like your parents and their actions are the reason I want to do pro bono family law.

it definitely can't hurt for me to be informed.
if i could find a pro dono lawyer myself i would have asked, so i really appreciate your offer.
i've sent you my email.

 

[aafscsweetie]

https://probonolawyers.org/?state=GA

https://www.abanet.org/legalservices/probono/directory/georgia.html

(the second link is more thorough- the first link only lists pro bono lawyers in atlanta)

 

[rjb]

i found one in my area, and plan on calling later.
like i said, it can't hurt to get the facts.

 

[vinteenage]

i found one in my area, and plan on calling later.
like i said, it can't hurt to get the facts.

Good for you sweetheart.