sick of waiting for bfp - come on October

[Smashley25]

That sounds completely understandable-that he's frustrated. Nearly everything else in life, there's always something more you can do to achieve that goal, but ttc isn't like that.

Maybe even if he needs a break from the stresses, that doesn't mean you have to stop trying... I know you said it wasn't always working to just try and seduce him, but if you have a general idea of when you ovulate, you can try to get dtd in a few times before then. Sperm can live up to five days, so even if its not peak pos opk time, there's still a chance!

Haha, DH decides he wants sex in strange intervals. Last week, he wouldn't leave me alone and I think we did it every day for a week!!! This week, nothing... I don't mind doing it during af. I don't really get af cramps though. Ovulation hurts a lot worse, which seems really weird.

 

[RCAFWife]

That's a good idea, Smash about dtd before O if DH is in the mood earlier. I just hope I have some fertile-ish cm those days haha! This cycle, we dtd on the day i got a +OPK and then my temp rose a day and a half later so maybe that's all it will take They say your peak cm day is usually the day you ovulate and my peak day came the day after we dtd this cycle. I'm trying to get Dh to understand that ttc isn't as cut and dry as everything else in life, but it looks like he needs more time

 

[Try2findbaby]

I can take or leave dtd over af but dh point blank refuses - he is terrible with blood! Not a sexy time with dh fainting! Although he thinks he'll be able to cut the babies cord if we end up having one.... We'll see. Yeh maybe just a ntnp timeout whilst dh gets past it? Smash how's things with u?

 

[Smashley25]

I'm good. I tested today (9 or 10 dpo) and bfn. But I'm fine with it.

We met with the adoption lawyer today. Honestly, she didn't tell us much I didn't already know, but she has offered to review our profile for us, answer any questions about agencies or whatnot, and show our profile to any prospective birthmoms once our home study is done. We also went ahead and filled out the application for the home study process, so... things are actually happening!!!

 

[RCAFWife]

That's awesome Smash! So excited for you guys You said you had to pay for the home study right? How soon will they do it?

That's funny about your dh Try2find -- no to blood but yes to cord-cutting!

 

[Smashley25]

Yep, we have to pay for the home study. It's $1500. The lady I talked to said it would take about 3-5 weeks. Ours may take a little longer because DH is getting really busy at work and probation won't have time to do the interviews and such before Easter, but at least we can get started on all the paperwork.

 

[RCAFWife]

Aw that's not too bad You must keep us updated all along the journey!

 

[Try2findbaby]

Oh wow Smash that is exciting! There is a q and a run by the adoption agency we might use on 7th June so we'll pop along and prepare ourselves a bit more. I know what u mean about being ok with not conceiving, I just want our family now. It's almost like uve got ur bfp smash as ur starting ur journey to be oming parents

How many dpo are u rcaf? I'm praying ill be 1 dpo tomorrow, this cycle is taking forever and I'm getting thoroughly p****d off at all the waiting of ttc!

 

[Smashley25]

Yep, exciting, scary, and crazy!! I talked to the lady who will be doing our home study today and we've got a nice list of stuff to get done in the next few weeks/months. I keep having to remind myself that we don't have to do everything today! But I want to have everything done so its hard not to stress about it. We've got to finish our profile book, get a room ready for a nursery, schedule three different doctors appointments (me, DH, AND DSS-bit of a surprise there but I suppose it makes sense), get four letters of recommendation, background checks, fingerprints and all these documents! Plus we want to do a few minor repairs/renovations in the house and outside too! To make matters worse, the agency I'm doing my home study with has added me to the yahoo group where they post possible baby situations and they have a little girl right now that would be perfect! Of course, we have to finish the home study before we get to apply to have birth moms look at our profile. And we have to have a profile too, but ya know...

In a way, it is like getting that bfp except instead of knowing you have mine months, you have all this stuff to do in like one.... Because theoretically, we could have a baby immediately after the home study is complete, so like a month to six weeks. Which is CRAZY! Realistically, it will be longer and could even be a couple years, but you have to have all this stuff NOW!

Hope you did o today, try2find. You should definitely go to the open house at the adoption agency! Information is good even if you decide to go another way.

How are you doing, RCAF? How are things with DH?

 

[RCAFWife]

Oh awesome! Makes me want to go out and find an adoption lawyer and get things rolling too! But according to my internet research, because we're Canadians living in America temporarily, it may be difficult to find an adoption agency that would allow us to adopt children. We'd have to go through a "baby broker" and risk a bunch of money for a chance to get a child legally,....sounds sketchy. Maybe we'll check out places in Canada and work something out for when we get back there in 4 years lol!

I'm 4 dpo today, cd 19. Not really feeling one way or the other about our chances this cycle. DH hasn't said anything about Tuesday night's "battle" but I'm thinking he hasn't changed his mind about ttc. Sounds like he wants to do NTNP (but that won't work with us, because we'll be wasting sperm everytime, what little he does have. For all we know his count could have gotten lower, we'd never know since he won't go for a new SA; his is a year old). But I'm not bitter

I hope your temp goes up tomorrow and you're 1 dpo Try2find. GL! How long between +OPK and temp rise is it for you usually? For me, it seems to consistently be 36 hours max.

 

[Try2findbaby]

Hey welll more news - dh and I have decided after this month we will be ntnp until the adoption meeting in June. We think it'll allow mainly me to come to terms with us not having a conceived child and preparing ourselves for adoption. Dh is so excited about adoption because he has hated seeing the effect stress of ttc has on me and then us and all for a possible. I know what u mean smash - there was a profile of a little blonde 4 yr old boy with glasses and the most gorgeous smile and I could have taken him home and been happy forever and I think that made me realise how easy it is to love a child even if its not urs biologically. We're not even going to do the tests now just ntnp until the meeting in June gives us a few months to adjust and just incase we get chilly feet we can warm them bk up!

How exciting about the home visit! I've already started moving furniture and painting in my head! Smash that is so exciting congratulations! Ur on a baby journey

How long will u be in America rcaf? Is dh on board with adoption if its an option for u? I don't tend to use opks they never seem to go positive although temps seem to indicate o on every cycle?! I think I o'd yesterday but I won't know until the day after tomorrow I suppose. I will be pleased when I no longer need to shove a thermometer in my mouth as soon as I crack my eyes open!

 

[RCAFWife]

We'll be here for another 3 years and 3 months, then back to Canada. He's more OK with adoption than I am, so I suppose he's on board. I am trying to imagine what it would be like to love someone else's child, and not constantly think that we didn't conceive him/her. I guess I'm not there yet, at the adoption route.

BBT = stress first thing in the morning! About 3 days after O, I stopped taking it hehe

 

[Try2findbaby]

Oh it took me a while to get here. I never thought adoption was for me but the stress of ttc is too much and if we stop we risk never having a baby or child and the most important thing I realised was to have a family. Obviously we'll be ntnp up until a certain point and then use protection whilst the kids settle in (we would like a sibling group - if u know u want a big family then why not?!) and then ntnp after that point and see what happens. Mother's Day was an odd one and seeing pics of me as a baby were a bit sad because we might not ever be able to have babies that look like us but we will still have a family

Rcaf at least with 3 years u have time to adjust to adoption if that's a possibility for u when u move back? Or 3 years to bd like crazy! Despite dh's reservations!

 

[ashntony]

Ladies to you! I was adopted at the age of 6 and my sister at 4. Even though the family I went to was not great I at least had a place to call home and I got to grow up with my sister! I know that in my future I plan on at least adopting a couple of children. I feel like I need to give back!

 

[RCAFWife]

Aw thanks for sharing that ashntony Dh was adopted too, so maybe he'll also feel the need to give back too

AFM, I applied to an internship today so we'll see which answers first: job or the baby

 

[Smashley25]

Hey all, sorry I've been MIA for the past couple days. My family was in town and its been pretty hectic.

It's cool to hear that some of you have personal experiences with adoption. While I know of people who have been, or who adopted, it's nobody who is close to me. So far, the process just seems really overwhelming and so much to do! I feel guilty every time I just sit and relax because I could be working on getting paperwork done or working on the profile or working on our training hours and you can't go any further in the process til it's all done. But I have to make myself take breaks and remind myself that it's okay to take a few weeks to get it all done, otherwise I will drive myself crazy!

Even though we're doing the adoption thing, I'm still a little sad sometimes that it won't be my biological child. Yesterday was one of those days though it was rather eventful.... My period started, my high school bff gave birth to her first child, and I had a really vivid dream about how I went to the ob/gyn for my 20 week pre-natal appt and got to see the baby and hear the heartbeat and found out it was a girl. Granted, to get to the appt, we had to go through the meat section if a grocery store and everyone was yelling so it wasn't completely realistic, but still made me wake up feeling a little sad.

I don't know. I'm happy we're adopting and I don't feel like its just a substitute, but I guess there will always be a part of me that wishes things worked out differently.

Hope all is well for all of you!

 

[RCAFWife]

Ah, I know about those dreams. It's even weirder when other people are having baby dreams about you! No pressure, right? Ugh...

 

[brit3435]

Hi ladies! I know I haven't posted on here in awhile, but I have been stalking to keep up! No BFP for me, still ovulating WAY late (CD 27 is the earliest in the past 6 cycles) and for the past 2 cycles I have started spotting on 8dpo through 12 dpo and then AF comes. I know that isn't normal, I have always had spotting the day before AF but never for 4 or 5 days before, this is new. I called the dr. on Friday about this issue and about not getting pregnant for 8 months now and they got me an appt. for tomorrow morning. I'm glad I'm going, but I'm really nervous, I'm afraid to find out something really is wrong and we can't have any more kids. I'll let you all know how it goes.

 

[RCAFWife]

Yes, keep us updated Brit! Best of luck to you for tomorrow Spotting for that long is quite weird...maybe it's a hormonal imbalance?

 

[brit3435]

Hey ladies! Well I had my dr appt today and he did an ultrasound. My ovaries are not functioning properly and have cysts on both. I have to go back for blood work tomorrow and he said once we have the blood work results he will either start me on a low dose of clomid or meformin to move up my ovulation day. He also said my progesterone levels are falling too soon after o so he will give me progesterone for that as well. He said I am ovulating consistently on my own so that means I could get pregnant on my own but it may take a long time. The medication could help me get pregnant sooner. Dh also has to get a sperm analysis just to make sure there isn't a problem there as well. I got to see the cysts on my ovaries too it was crazy looking. Smash I know you are talking adoption now but have you been to the dr yet? Maybe it's just an easy fix like mine might be?