Single mommy by choice

[greenpear]

I think you all need to leave her alone! What if she was a lesbian looking for a sperm donor, would you all have the same reaction? It's her choice, and I've seen very young moms become great parents and older moms become terrible parents and vice versa. If she has a solid plan set up and a good support system then all the power to her.

And if she does end up meeting someone great later on in life and wants more kids with that person then so much the better. There are so many families with kids from different partners, why should this be any different? Who are you all to judge anyways?

I'm sorry to sound like a B**** but seriously - these forums are all about support and not about calling people selfish just because they have a different path in life then you.

You go girl and hope that everything works out for you just as you have imagined it to be

 

[ashliee]

Wow at some of these replies I wish you the best of luck OP, & do what makes YOU happy regardless of other people's opinions.

Age does not defy what type of parent you are .. you make the decision on how you parent yourself. That is solely up to you.

I am 19 & have a beautiful daughter. I am PROUD to be a young mother because I know what I am capable of. Even though I am 19 years of age, I still feel like a normal 30 year old would I do every thing the exact same way as them, I am just younger. So I feel I should be treated no different, & neither should you. If I let people's opinions bother me, my daughter wouldn't be here. I have defied the odds & will continue to do so, and so will you

Good luck

Thank you!!!!!!
Your daughter is gorgeous by the way!!!!! Good job on being an amazing mommy!

 

[Ash0619]

You know what else I would do? I would find a man who wants kids as badly too. My BF is the one that wanted the kids. Well I wanted them too but he suggested it and tried to get me pregnant on purpose before we officially decided to ttc. Maybe start dating and tell the man right up front that you want to have kids and soon and that its not negoitiable.

Thats what I told my husband when I met him. I told him I wanted kids so if you don't then you might as well leave now.

Agree, my husband also knows that having children is non-negotiable for me. Thank goodness I met a man who is on the same page I am! But if he were to change his mind....there would be major problems. lol.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've seen the documentary that Lala is talking about. It's called "Sperm Donor: 74 Kids and more". This guy donated for 3 years for the money, and when he registered on the sperm donor registry site and made himself available, all these moms started contacting him. The kids are still too little at this point.

This guy, Ben, was about to get married and there were a lot of problems between himself and his fiancee' about all the kids. Ben said he would "make himself available" to the families, but he did not want a relationship with the kids.

He ended up meeting 2 of the kids face to face, a mom in her 40s used his sperm twice and had a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old boy- both his. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see him with the kids. They LOVED him, and were so excited to be getting a "daddy." They were too little to understand. Well, at the end of the meeting it showed the mom talking about the meeting to her family and Ben talking about the meeting to his fiancee'. The mom was saying she's so glad they met Ben, and she hopes they're going to have this great relationship for the kid's sake for years and years to come. Then, in Ben's talk, he told his fiancee' that it was really nice meeting them but that was it. It was like closure for him. And kids can't be treated that way.

Here's a link to a little clip of it, but you can't watch the whole thing online. This little clip is extremely interesting, though!!

https://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/b7656_74_kids_more_on_way_style_presents.html

I think they were better of not meeting him at all. Because now theyre going to be all torn up about him for the rest of their childhood. It wasnt fair for either their mom or the sperm donor Ben to get them together. What the hell were they thinking? Then what is Ben going to do when his other kids come knocking? Have one meeting with them all and then blow them off forever?

Did you see the older kids too from a different sperm donor? Or is that a different sperm donor show I am thinking of? I am trying to find the show on line so I can look back on it to remember but its nowhere to be found.

yeah, the kids from a different donor was the same documentary. It was a little side story about a couple who were ttc. They were using donor sperm as well as having unprotected sex. They conceived a baby but were never 100% sure whose biological child she was. They told her about the possibility when she was an adult, and she wanted a DNA test. Turned out she was the donor's child.

She registered on the sibling donor registry website, and found half-siblings. One of her siblings was born to a 40 year old woman with no husband and no family. The mom died when the little girl was 7, and she was sent to live with distant cousins. Then, her new foster mom died a few years later. By the time she was 16, she was completely alone and only had her half-siblings.

My memory rocks!!

 

[ashliee]

I think you all need to leave her alone! What if she was a lesbian looking for a sperm donor, would you all have the same reaction? It's her choice, and I've seen very young moms become great parents and older moms become terrible parents and vice versa. If she has a solid plan set up and a good support system then all the power to her.

And if she does end up meeting someone great later on in life and wants more kids with that person then so much the better. There are so many families with kids from different partners, why should this be any different? Who are you all to judge anyways?

I'm sorry to sound like a B**** but seriously - these forums are all about support and not about calling people selfish just because they have a different path in life then you.

You go girl and hope that everything works out for you just as you have imagined it to be

Thank you!!!!

 

[Lala27]

I dont know why anybody would choose to be a single parent, sometimes it's hard enough even when both parent's are involved.

Don't get me wrong Im all for donor's when the situation is ideal, but scouring the net for a donor, at 20, because you believe you want a baby!!! I really cant get my head around it!!

Well, your first step would be trying to understand where I am coming from.
Many single women choose this for themselves, and live very happy and healthy lives with their child(ren).
My age has nothing to do with this, I am an adult, and capable of making decisions for myself. This post was not asking for people to give me reasons why they think I shouldn't do this.
I am an adult, and would like to receive the same respect women get every single day when choosing to TTC.
Just because I am choosing a path less traveled does not mean it is wrong, in any way shape or form.
Because I have found a website designed for exactly what I am looking for does not make this any different then if I were to go to a sperm bank. The only differences are my child will have the opportunity to know where he or she comes from, and it is less of a financial burden.
I could very easily go ahead and go to a sperm bank and do it that way, but I would much rather knowing who my donor is as well as some of their family history.

TBH i think there should be tougher laws on who can and who can't use donor sperm!!

Not that I think the OP is wrong or whatever but I agree with your comment! I also think their should be limits on how much sperm a man can donate and how many kids can be made with that sperm!

 

[Lala27]

Just curious about your financial situation. Do you have money put up and able to support a family on your own without the goverments help? If yes, then I don't see the problem honestly. Some women don't need or even want a man around in their life, as women we have that choice.
I thought maybe some women on here would be a little supportive, sure it might not be your idea situation, but maybe her idea situation isn't what yours is. I'm pretty shocked with how rude some of the people on here are coming off. Who cares thats she's 20, doesnt make her less mature than someone thats 30 because they are 10 years older. As long as she can afford her baby, then thats all that matters!

The girl herself comes from a single parent family so the baby will be the third generation that relies on government handouts. I agree some people are rude and we shouldn't be knocking her maturity but this cycle really needs to be stopped.

What??? OMG how would you even know something like that? Wow how rude! Reported!

 

[Ash0619]

Just curious about your financial situation. Do you have money put up and able to support a family on your own without the goverments help? If yes, then I don't see the problem honestly. Some women don't need or even want a man around in their life, as women we have that choice.
I thought maybe some women on here would be a little supportive, sure it might not be your idea situation, but maybe her idea situation isn't what yours is. I'm pretty shocked with how rude some of the people on here are coming off. Who cares thats she's 20, doesnt make her less mature than someone thats 30 because they are 10 years older. As long as she can afford her baby, then thats all that matters!

The girl herself comes from a single parent family so the baby will be the third generation that relies on government handouts. I agree some people are rude and we shouldn't be knocking her maturity but this cycle really needs to be stopped.

What??? OMG how would you even know something like that? Wow how rude! Reported!

Completely agree with Lala on this one....what a terrible assumption to make!! Every single mom in the world is on government assistance? NO!!!!

 

[Ozzysbabygirl]

Being a single mom is a difficult journey, but being a Mom...it has no rules or regulations or guidelines. It has no wrong way or right way...Its YOUR way. Whether you choose to do it with someone or alone, you are still doing it and it is an incredible journey. GL Ashilee...you are entering a very difficult and demanding but extremely exciting and rewarding part of your life, and I wish you only the best. If you need someone to talk to, Im just an email away

xxx
Ke

 

[Lala27]

Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Fact.
They are also twice as likely to drop out of school. Fact.
85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes.

Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

Wow, that is very interesting.

I thought it was..and I could have gone on and on and on. Seriously.

And I'm not trying to be rude at all..I didn't write this or make it up to mean. It's fact. I just don't think anyone should set their child up to these kinds of stark statistics. Of course there are always exceptions I just don't feel this is one.

As a social worker I have seen kids from all walks of life get pregnant, use drugs, drop out of school etc.

Generally kids from single family homes or broken homes are inner city kids.
Suburban kids usually have both parents, are not that poor and their families do not appear to be broken. Hence the word appear.

I live in a upper class suburban area and to be completely honest almost all of these teens are using drugs and having sex. They just dont get caught and dont admit to it when asked on the questionnaires they use to come up with these stats. They infact do more drugs and drink more than inner city kids. Inner city kids see other people in that city who's lives have been ruined from substance abuse. They dont want to be like the crack head or the alcoholic on the corner. Suburban kids are the ones who do not really see with their eyes the effects of substance abuse. You can tell a child over and over that something is bad, and unless they see for themselves they are not going to listen. Suburban kids can also afford to do a different variety of drugs more frequently. Drugs are not cheap. All the suburban kids do is get the money from momy and daddy. There are not as many cops, so they dont get caught.

I honestly see the most problems with kids coming from homes where the parents went through a divorce, which is 50% of homes in the United States according to stats. I hear the same things from other social workers. Kids get messed up when they see their parents together, and then see them go through a divorce, even if its not a nasty divorce. When kids have parents who were never together, but both equally love and care for the child/children, they dont know any different so it does not affect the child in a negative way. This has been my own personal experience with friends growing up as well. My friends who's parents were going through a divorce were absolutely distraught where as my parents were never together, so this was normal for me. I never understood as a child why they cared so much as long as they still had both of their parents .

Also I grew up in an upper class suburb myself, and kids were having sex at the age of 12. I thought there was something wrong with me because I hadnt yet. My cousins from Chicago were too afraid of getting pregnant or catching an STD so they were very careful about that. I was also exposed to all sorts of drugs that my cousins had heard of, but wouldnt dare touch because of 'the crack head up the street'.

In an inner city if a young girl gets pregnant she usually becomes a teen mom. She usually has no money or no other options, or for religious reasons chooses to care for her child. In the suburbs a young girl gets pregnant its "taken care of" . Whether it means adoption or the grandparents taking care of child as their own or whatever other options are out there. I know this from my own personal experience, I hear this from other social workers and a study we did in college. So this is why stats are a little misleading when it comes to teen sex and pregnancy.

This is not the same for every single teen in every city or suburb. This is just from my personal experience growing up, through work, and what I hear from other social workers as well.

 

[ashliee]

Being a single mom is a difficult journey, but being a Mom...it has no rules or regulations or guidelines. It has no wrong way or right way...Its YOUR way. Whether you choose to do it with someone or alone, you are still doing it and it is an incredible journey. GL Ashilee...you are entering a very difficult and demanding but extremely exciting and rewarding part of your life, and I wish you only the best. If you need someone to talk to, Im just an email away

xxx
Ke

Thank you dear!!! Im truly unbelievably excited to become a mother, all of it excites me! even the waking up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby, or the explosion poops! or being so tired you dont know how your even functioning! lol i know it sounds silly to be excited for all that stuff but the whole thing excites me even the not so good parts!

 

[milf2be]

Being a single mom is a difficult journey, but being a Mom...it has no rules or regulations or guidelines. It has no wrong way or right way...Its YOUR way. Whether you choose to do it with someone or alone, you are still doing it and it is an incredible journey. GL Ashilee...you are entering a very difficult and demanding but extremely exciting and rewarding part of your life, and I wish you only the best. If you need someone to talk to, Im just an email away

xxx
Ke

Thank you dear!!! Im truly unbelievably excited to become a mother, all of it excites me! even the waking up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby, or the explosion poops! or being so tired you dont know how your even functioning! lol i know it sounds silly to be excited for all that stuff but the whole thing excites me even the not so good parts!

you can wake up to feed my child if you like....and do the explosive poo whilst your at it
my baby has suddenly started not STTN after doing it from 9 weeks....its a killer, i go back to uni next week too and have an exam the week after that

 

[ashliee]

Being a single mom is a difficult journey, but being a Mom...it has no rules or regulations or guidelines. It has no wrong way or right way...Its YOUR way. Whether you choose to do it with someone or alone, you are still doing it and it is an incredible journey. GL Ashilee...you are entering a very difficult and demanding but extremely exciting and rewarding part of your life, and I wish you only the best. If you need someone to talk to, Im just an email away

xxx
Ke

Thank you dear!!! Im truly unbelievably excited to become a mother, all of it excites me! even the waking up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby, or the explosion poops! or being so tired you dont know how your even functioning! lol i know it sounds silly to be excited for all that stuff but the whole thing excites me even the not so good parts!

you can wake up to feed my child if you like....and do the explosive poo whilst your at it
my baby has suddenly started not STTN after doing it from 9 weeks....its a killer, i go back to uni next week too and have an exam the week after that

awww sounds stressful dear! but just think as soon as its allll over you will feel so great about yourself

 

[PrettyUnable]

For the women who don't think anything rude has been said try reading this!

I am being rude in this post but I can't contain it anymore. This thread has got out of control and I am sorry for being rude but I am not sorry for saying who I think has responded appallingly:

Talk to her like what? I told her flat out towards the end it would be a little harsh but that is what she needs!!! She needs a good kick in the pants about this whole thing. She is not thinking about it and just wants to fill the void. Do I know her personally? No. Would I tell her the same thing if I did? You bet!!!

Yes she made up her mind no matter what we said but why was she here to begin with. Who goes somewhere and announces that just to say it??? No one with their right mind. If she didn't want anyone on here to say something she wouldn't have posted to begin with. I think the post just shows she was thinking it wasn't an appropriate situation and wanted all of us to tell her it wasn't and when we didn't she got upset because she knew deep down that little voice was right.

If that isn't being rude then you surely missed out on what being polite and having manners and respect for others is. Do you even read what you write bdawn8403?

No you are a 20 year old making a stupid decision. Also if you have to keep repeating you are an adult, you probably aren't. Most adults don't use "I'm an adult and make my own decisions" as a argument

It kind of comes across as a teenager shouting "I'm an adult!" pouting and stomping off when they don't get their way

Yeah like you're really a shining example of what a mature adult is to judge anyone else

Myself, as well as a couple others, asked how you are going to support this child. Like it was pointed out: you're STARTING a job. Really? I've saved up for almost 5 years putting away all that I could for when I have my child (if God blesses me with one). I want my baby to have the best, not only what I can afford on a paycheck to paycheck basis. I know things are different in Canada, but I'm assuming you will be on government assistance. I get so po'd at people here who just spit out babies to stay on assistance and not have to work...and that's what you remind me of. I will not have to struggle after I have my baby.
My OH and I both have stable jobs and make decent money, so if anything does happen, we can survive just fine without one of us working. Will you be fine without YOU working? Doubtful.

And I completely agree about you keeping repeating yourself that "I'm an adult" we get it, get over it. You're 20. Legally, yes, you're an adult, but emotionally and mentally you are proving that you are not. You are just going to bring another poor, fatherless baby into this world, and I'm sorry, but that's got to be one of the stupidest things I've heard in a long time.

You think you're going to go to college after you have this baby? Yeah right. Seems like the prime idea now, but that's not how it will go down chicky. You are being selfish, ignorant, stubborn, and stupid.

That's a hell of a lot of assumptions in there, oh and you think you won't struggle once you have a baby? Maybe you should think again chicky as every parent struggles at some point.. so look forward to your reality check because your paychecks sure as hell won't help you cope at 3am when you're at your wits end - unless you're planning on hiring paid help of course to do it for you, with all those paychecks.

Exactly why did you come on here? Like I said you can't possibly think many would support this kind of on a whim decision. You may not realize it but someday you will realize that we do know what we are talking about.

Don't come on here expecting everything to be peaches and cream because it won't, you either wanted opinions or you wouldn't have posted. You got them. Good luck in this path.

bdawn8403 - Exactly why did YOU come on here? You obviously don't like supporting anyone - well anyone who does anything differently to you and you really don't know what you are talking about considering A. You don't have any kids yet, B. You've never been a single mother (and heaven help you if you ever are as it seems like you'd just fall to pieces without having a man in your life as you seem to mention the fact that your married repeatedly), and C. You're being so closed minded to any other opinion or way of life that you can't see the wood for the trees.

Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Fact.
They are also twice as likely to drop out of school. Fact.
85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes.

Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

Wow, that is very interesting.

I thought it was..and I could have gone on and on and on. Seriously.

And I'm not trying to be rude at all..I didn't write this or make it up to mean. It's fact. I just don't think anyone should set their child up to these kinds of stark statistics. Of course there are always exceptions I just don't feel this is one.

Are you two completely naive to honestly believe that statistics are so valid that there is no alternative or freedom of choice - that this is the only future if you are from a split or fatherless home? Get a bloody grip - you make your life, not government statistics.

I wanted to have children when I was young too because I don't want to be an older mom but that is no reason to rush into it. I didn't get what I wanted because I was mature about it.[/B] I could've ran out and done the same thing but I chose to wait and be smart about it. About the whole contract thing, just because you have a piece of paper making the other party do something doesn't make it okay. If he doesn't want to know the child it will come across as that. All that paper can do is make him meet the child, nothing else. You are setting yourself up for heartache and future issues with this child.

So basically your child has to wait 18 years to know their father?!?!?!? How does that not sound crazy to you? I, honestly, think that you just want someone to love you and think that having a baby will fill whatever void you have in your life. That is not a good reason to have a child and certainly not a good environment. How are you paying for all of this anyway? You are "starting" a job. Do you have money saved up for this procedure?

Obviously, you are going to do whatever it is you wanna do but you came on here for whatever reason, you didn't honestly think we'd all be rootin and shouting go for it did you? I don't know of any person who chooses to be a single mother or a father. We, as humans, have the need and want to procreate but we also have the need and want to have someone with us in our lives. Choosing to be a single mother isn't the norm and actually kind of disrespectful to those who are single parents when they didn't choose that and it is very hard for them and their child and yet you want that? Strange.

Actually lots of people CHOOSE to be a single parent, (and most may as well be for all the help their OH provides for them and the child). You know just being married or being with someone doesn't make life all peachy keen and perfect. You are so rude it is shocking. But it's good to know that you're such a fortune teller and can see what happens in the future - that must be what makes you so high and mighty and think you're the only one with a right opinion.

Okay, you aren't listening to me or understanding. People change!! Sure he may want that now, like you, but years down the line (when he probably has a family) since most of these donors are probably young like you looking for money. He could very well change his mind. He will probably have a wife and children of his own and then this kid pops in? That won't go over well with some people. Do you understand that? The fact that you don't shows your maturity level. You are only 20 years old, you don't know anything about people or life really. It doesn't work like that. People change, life changes, personality, thoughts, beliefs all change. I am sorry to be so harsh but you really need it.

You need to think of others, like this baby you plan on having, rather than yourself.

You need to think before you speak.

Best of luck to you on your TTC journey..I just sincerely hope this baby isn't born with the job of making you feel loved and happy.

This is unbelievably rude!!! So because she is single - OMG she must be unloved and unhappy!!!!!

Please don't take offence but you are so young and have so much time ahead of you to find the right man. I myself considered doing it solo via a sperm donor but I am late thirties (have met someone since). Why don't you give yourself a 3 or 5 year plan to meet a nice guy and do it that way? Just don't make the mistakes I made when I was young... i.e always going for the bad boys! I'm not trying to lecture you but I'm old enough to know there is more to life than having kids & it's important to have lots of fun when you are young.. Just my opinion anyway. Good luck

The only important thing in life - MUST FIND A NICE MAN! MUST FIND A NICE MAN!

I don't know, I just think if this was my mother and she told me "hey you were conceived by a donor who I didn't know, I picked off a website but you can meet him if you want" would tell me that you were a little selfish and just wanted a baby and maybe didn't think about my well being before I was conceived or maybe what may happen in the future with potential mates for you. Also I would feel a lack of being loved, its much different if you end up being a single parent than choosing to because you can't wait life out a few more years, anything can change day by day. Just like a little over a week ago you weren't sure about it and were so down on yourself and knew you wouldn't be able to but now, a mere 10 days later, you are?? How is that possible?

Also you say you will never let them not know the sperm donor but you kind of already are. Sperm donation is NOT the same as someone having sex and having a baby. Most of the time there is some sort of love or even like between 2 people who conceive a baby therefore making it easier to want a relationship with them or even know them. How do you know that years down the line this donor will have his own family and not want anything to do with this child? That would hurt even more. That does happen no matter what the donor claims now.

Ending up a single parent is different to choosing to and will make the child feel unloved - I'll be sure to tell my daughter this so she knows to need therapy for feeling unloved when she's older because I chose not to stay with her idiot of a father.

Will have his own family and not want anything to do with this child - What you mean like so many parents who arent sperm or egg donors anyway! This happens, some parents are idiots. It isn't destined just because it's a sperm donor. You seem to assume everything!
You really do talk rubbish.

I couldn't even believe there would be a doctor willing to do this, not the fact that you are single because many older women do this but because you are very young. You can't even get a IUD before a certain age if you haven't had kids, unless thats changed. Who CHOOSES to be a single parent?

That isn't very fair to your future baby or your family for that matter.

Good luck.

Again, thanks for the info - I'll be sure to remember that raising my daughter single handedly for 8 years was completely wrong, I should have stayed with her father because it made me to leave and be alone, Oh Dear Lord... however will I cope knowing I should've stayed with him because thats what bdawn8403 says is the only right way to raise a child!!

 

[milf2be]

Being a single mom is a difficult journey, but being a Mom...it has no rules or regulations or guidelines. It has no wrong way or right way...Its YOUR way. Whether you choose to do it with someone or alone, you are still doing it and it is an incredible journey. GL Ashilee...you are entering a very difficult and demanding but extremely exciting and rewarding part of your life, and I wish you only the best. If you need someone to talk to, Im just an email away

xxx
Ke

Thank you dear!!! Im truly unbelievably excited to become a mother, all of it excites me! even the waking up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby, or the explosion poops! or being so tired you dont know how your even functioning! lol i know it sounds silly to be excited for all that stuff but the whole thing excites me even the not so good parts!

you can wake up to feed my child if you like....and do the explosive poo whilst your at it
my baby has suddenly started not STTN after doing it from 9 weeks....its a killer, i go back to uni next week too and have an exam the week after that

awww sounds stressful dear! but just think as soon as its allll over you will feel so great about yourself

yeah it'll be amazing when this exam is out the way and i have nothing to stress over
LO is being extra cute today, obviously sucking up since he got up in the night
how is your nephew? how often do you see him?
have you started looking at the things for the baby yet, or you waiting until you get pregnant?
woop its all exciting

 

[ashleyann]

For the women who don't think anything rude has been said try reading this!

I am being rude in this post but I can't contain it anymore. This thread has got out of control and I am sorry for being rude but I am not sorry for saying who I think has responded appallingly

Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Fact.
They are also twice as likely to drop out of school. Fact.
85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes.

Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

Wow, that is very interesting.

I thought it was..and I could have gone on and on and on. Seriously.

And I'm not trying to be rude at all..I didn't write this or make it up to mean. It's fact. I just don't think anyone should set their child up to these kinds of stark statistics. Of course there are always exceptions I just don't feel this is one.

Are you two completely naive to honestly believe that statistics are so valid that there is no alternative or freedom of choice - that this is the only future if you are from a split or fatherless home? Get a bloody grip - you make your life, not government statistics.

You should read the rest of the thread before attacking..I've stated twice that that I obviously know that there are exceptions to the statistics..and that they aren't 100% accurate but that they are interesting/important to at least think about. Not only that but I apologized if I hurt feelings or was out of line because again that was not my intent.
I also stated that it was important for her to ultimately follow her heart after taking all things into consideration.

I said I hope the baby is happy, healthy and perfect so please this is so far from needing to be dropped it isn't even funny.

 

[MummyP2b]

I COMPLETELY agree with EVERY word PrettyUnable has said!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by bdawn8403
Exactly why did you come on here? Like I said you can't possibly think many would support this kind of on a whim decision. You may not realize it but someday you will realize that we do know what we are talking about.

Don't come on here expecting everything to be peaches and cream because it won't, you either wanted opinions or you wouldn't have posted. You got them. Good luck in this path.
bdawn8403 - Exactly why did YOU come on here? You obviously don't like supporting anyone

MY POINT EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[sarahj198]

Go pretty unable I agree some of the posts have been so rude.. ashleyann nice you apologised hun xx

 

[PrettyUnable]

For the women who don't think anything rude has been said try reading this!

I am being rude in this post but I can't contain it anymore. This thread has got out of control and I am sorry for being rude but I am not sorry for saying who I think has responded appallingly

Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Fact.
They are also twice as likely to drop out of school. Fact.
85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes.

Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

Wow, that is very interesting.

I thought it was..and I could have gone on and on and on. Seriously.

And I'm not trying to be rude at all..I didn't write this or make it up to mean. It's fact. I just don't think anyone should set their child up to these kinds of stark statistics. Of course there are always exceptions I just don't feel this is one.

Are you two completely naive to honestly believe that statistics are so valid that there is no alternative or freedom of choice - that this is the only future if you are from a split or fatherless home? Get a bloody grip - you make your life, not government statistics.

You should read the rest of the thread before attacking..I've stated twice that that I obviously know that there are exceptions to the statistics..and that they aren't 100% accurate but that they are interesting/important to at least think about. Not only that but I apologized if I hurt feelings or was out of line because again that was not my intent.
I also stated that it was important for her to ultimately follow her heart after taking all things into consideration.

I said I hope the baby is happy, healthy and perfect so please this is so far from needing to be dropped it isn't even funny.

I've read the entire thread and great you apologised

You still said it and it was incredibley rude - I was just outlining the posts which have been rude and this one of yours was one of them.

Funny how you were fine to go on and on at the OP when it wasn't targeted at you but now it needs to be dropped?

As it happens I don't think what you said was so bad, just misguided.

Nice that you were supportive. In the end.

 

[ashleyann]

Man..I didn't go on and on at her..I said two things..

 

[PrettyUnable]

Man..I didn't go on and on at her..I said two things..

Ok