Single mommy by choice

[giraffes]

It seems to me like this post has brought out the best and worst sides to having an online forum. Great because you can get support from people all over the world. And awful because people type things they would never say to anyone's face.

To Ashliee, I hope this hasn't put you off posting, you are as entitled to support just as much as any other woman out there irrespective of age or circumstance. You're making a big life choice, as are all the other girls in this forum after all TTC for anyone is a HUGE thing (I suspect the emotional rollercoaster of TTC may be the cause of some of the angst in some of the pages). You say you're moving to be nearer your nephew which is great because you're clearly not naive about what having a baby means and you will have some support from your family too. I suspect this is the start of a long and tricky road for you and I wish you the best. I'm a big believer in God having a plan for us all, and only time will tell whether this is His plan for you or not. But whatever the plan, it will surprise you, of that there is no doubt.

Gxx

 

[MrsC8776]

Wow... this thread is sad and amusing all at the same Time.

Obviously she has her mind made up though, and being rude isn't going to change it. More than likely, she will instead refuse to consider other points of view because of how they are presented, a very natural reaction. i

All I want to mention is all the arguments about age. I am of the mind that she should wait until she is married to "the one" and have ALL of her beautiful babies with him. I don't think she should go seek out a relationship just to have a child. But what does her age have to do with it? If she met him tomorrow, and got married in 6 months (and they stayed together until death parted them!), is she still then too young to make a decision to TTC? I was married a week before I turned 20, and started TTC on my 21st birthday. We only waited that long because we knew it would be wise to finish up our degrees. At 22 now, am I too young to be wanting children? Should I be waiting until we are more settled or stable according to an outsider's definition? We can afford to raise a child without goverment assistance, and we will be comfortable, but not wealthy. Our children will have all of their needs met, but maybe not all of their wants. So do I need to wait until I am older, to save up some more money so I can spoil them? There mothers who are good, bad, mature, immature, loving, neglectful, young, old -- pick any combination and I'm sure you'll find one. Age doesn't determine what kind of mother you'll be, or how your children will turn out (but geeking back to the statistics, when you are making decisions like that you should be aware of what you're up against!).


Secondly, to the young people: Stop using this argument that at 20 we are just like any 30 year old who is TTC or is already a mom. We aren't. I am more mature now than I was 1 year ago, 5 years ago...

I have read every single post and this seems to be the most sensible! Yes, we may not agree with the OP and would never go about things in the same way, but it's her choice. So, some of us think you're a little ashliee, but we really hope things turn out for the best for you and for your future child/ren.

Im not actually sure how im supposed to respond to you calling me crazy.
Just because I want to have a child, and I want to be a single mother does not mean I am crazy. It means I have different dreams for myself, and that I am looking at this in a different way then SOME does not mean anything.
I bet you if you looked around a little bit you would see many women just like me, with the same outlook.
You people do nothing but criticize and judge others who do things their own way and not always straight out of the book. What is so wrong with being an individual, making a plan for yourself, and then following through with it.
If I was married and TTC but my husband was infertile, 90% of you would tell me to look into a donor.
The fabrication in all of your minds that you need a man to raise a child is pathetic, Because my child is going to be in day care, because I wont be able to be a SAHM makes many of you cringe, But if thats the life I wanted, you bet your bottom dollar, that is what I would be working towards achieving.
But thats not what I want, I want to be a mom, but I also want to be an independent mom. I dont feel the need to depend on anyone but myself, I dont even see the real argument any of you choose to bring up, youll find a great man one day, wait. blah blah blah, its all what you would do, what YOU wanted, what your living.
I know a LOT of moms, a lot of them, and you know what I have seen over and over again? The look of defeat in their faces when they realize that even though they have a man, a father for their baby, someone who loves them and their child(ren) that look they get when they know this isnt what they wanted for themselves. Do you know how many times I have gotten phone calls in the middle of the night from these mothers, hysterical because they thought having a baby with the person they love would be easy, they thought that their husband would be 100% helpful, and you know what? 80% of those men have never woken up in the middle of the night with their child, dont feed the child(ren), dont do anything that the woman while making the choice to TTC thought he would.
How is it crazy of me to understand that every single minute of every single day the child that I choose to bring into the world is my responsibility and my responsibility only, to know that through good times and bad I have to work my butt off to give this child everything it deserves in life, to know that you never get a "day off" in parenthood. Just to name a few, You all assume I have no idea what raising a child entails, what you dont understand is I know exactly what its like to be a single mother, one that struggles every day. I have been there, I have been the one who was so shocked and destroyed when I realized I had no help, and through everything, I learned that the #1 hardest part of motherhood is realizing that everything you thought would be easy, is difficult when you are not prepared for how it turns out.
I have a two year old nephew, actually I have 2 two year old nephews, One 4 month old nephew and one 2 week old niece, One of those two year old nephews I have, I have basically raised since the day he was born, when I was 18 years old, His mother was around physically, but was NOT a mother to him. So anyone who tries to tell me that I dont know what being a single mother is like, can frankly kiss my ass, because I have known exactly what it entails for 26 months and 10 days. And I know for a FACT that being a single mom isnt easy, but I also know that once all the fabrications of motherhood are all gone, its really not as hard as it once was.
Now if you all could keep your damn opinions to yourself, and realize that hey this chick might actually know what shes doing, that would be much appreciated.

All I can say is well said!! You know who you are and what you are capable of. I wish you the best of luck

 

[ashliee]

Wow... this thread is sad and amusing all at the same Time.

Obviously she has her mind made up though, and being rude isn't going to change it. More than likely, she will instead refuse to consider other points of view because of how they are presented, a very natural reaction. i

All I want to mention is all the arguments about age. I am of the mind that she should wait until she is married to "the one" and have ALL of her beautiful babies with him. I don't think she should go seek out a relationship just to have a child. But what does her age have to do with it? If she met him tomorrow, and got married in 6 months (and they stayed together until death parted them!), is she still then too young to make a decision to TTC? I was married a week before I turned 20, and started TTC on my 21st birthday. We only waited that long because we knew it would be wise to finish up our degrees. At 22 now, am I too young to be wanting children? Should I be waiting until we are more settled or stable according to an outsider's definition? We can afford to raise a child without goverment assistance, and we will be comfortable, but not wealthy. Our children will have all of their needs met, but maybe not all of their wants. So do I need to wait until I am older, to save up some more money so I can spoil them? There mothers who are good, bad, mature, immature, loving, neglectful, young, old -- pick any combination and I'm sure you'll find one. Age doesn't determine what kind of mother you'll be, or how your children will turn out (but geeking back to the statistics, when you are making decisions like that you should be aware of what you're up against!).


Secondly, to the young people: Stop using this argument that at 20 we are just like any 30 year old who is TTC or is already a mom. We aren't. I am more mature now than I was 1 year ago, 5 years ago...

I have read every single post and this seems to be the most sensible! Yes, we may not agree with the OP and would never go about things in the same way, but it's her choice. So, some of us think you're a little ashliee, but we really hope things turn out for the best for you and for your future child/ren.

Im not actually sure how im supposed to respond to you calling me crazy.
Just because I want to have a child, and I want to be a single mother does not mean I am crazy. It means I have different dreams for myself, and that I am looking at this in a different way then SOME does not mean anything.
I bet you if you looked around a little bit you would see many women just like me, with the same outlook.
You people do nothing but criticize and judge others who do things their own way and not always straight out of the book. What is so wrong with being an individual, making a plan for yourself, and then following through with it.
If I was married and TTC but my husband was infertile, 90% of you would tell me to look into a donor.
The fabrication in all of your minds that you need a man to raise a child is pathetic, Because my child is going to be in day care, because I wont be able to be a SAHM makes many of you cringe, But if thats the life I wanted, you bet your bottom dollar, that is what I would be working towards achieving.
But thats not what I want, I want to be a mom, but I also want to be an independent mom. I dont feel the need to depend on anyone but myself, I dont even see the real argument any of you choose to bring up, youll find a great man one day, wait. blah blah blah, its all what you would do, what YOU wanted, what your living.
I know a LOT of moms, a lot of them, and you know what I have seen over and over again? The look of defeat in their faces when they realize that even though they have a man, a father for their baby, someone who loves them and their child(ren) that look they get when they know this isnt what they wanted for themselves. Do you know how many times I have gotten phone calls in the middle of the night from these mothers, hysterical because they thought having a baby with the person they love would be easy, they thought that their husband would be 100% helpful, and you know what? 80% of those men have never woken up in the middle of the night with their child, dont feed the child(ren), dont do anything that the woman while making the choice to TTC thought he would.
How is it crazy of me to understand that every single minute of every single day the child that I choose to bring into the world is my responsibility and my responsibility only, to know that through good times and bad I have to work my butt off to give this child everything it deserves in life, to know that you never get a "day off" in parenthood. Just to name a few, You all assume I have no idea what raising a child entails, what you dont understand is I know exactly what its like to be a single mother, one that struggles every day. I have been there, I have been the one who was so shocked and destroyed when I realized I had no help, and through everything, I learned that the #1 hardest part of motherhood is realizing that everything you thought would be easy, is difficult when you are not prepared for how it turns out.
I have a two year old nephew, actually I have 2 two year old nephews, One 4 month old nephew and one 2 week old niece, One of those two year old nephews I have, I have basically raised since the day he was born, when I was 18 years old, His mother was around physically, but was NOT a mother to him. So anyone who tries to tell me that I dont know what being a single mother is like, can frankly kiss my ass, because I have known exactly what it entails for 26 months and 10 days. And I know for a FACT that being a single mom isnt easy, but I also know that once all the fabrications of motherhood are all gone, its really not as hard as it once was.
Now if you all could keep your damn opinions to yourself, and realize that hey this chick might actually know what shes doing, that would be much appreciated.

All I can say is well said!! You know who you are and what you are capable of. I wish you the best of luck

thank you dear, I know I got a little bit angry but its just driving me nuts how everyone cant sit around and talk about me and how awfully crazy i am without even giving me the time of day to try and get to know who i am, and what i choose to be!!!

 

[TryinFor1]

Wow... this thread is sad and amusing all at the same Time.

Obviously she has her mind made up though, and being rude isn't going to change it. More than likely, she will instead refuse to consider other points of view because of how they are presented, a very natural reaction. i

All I want to mention is all the arguments about age. I am of the mind that she should wait until she is married to "the one" and have ALL of her beautiful babies with him. I don't think she should go seek out a relationship just to have a child. But what does her age have to do with it? If she met him tomorrow, and got married in 6 months (and they stayed together until death parted them!), is she still then too young to make a decision to TTC? I was married a week before I turned 20, and started TTC on my 21st birthday. We only waited that long because we knew it would be wise to finish up our degrees. At 22 now, am I too young to be wanting children? Should I be waiting until we are more settled or stable according to an outsider's definition? We can afford to raise a child without goverment assistance, and we will be comfortable, but not wealthy. Our children will have all of their needs met, but maybe not all of their wants. So do I need to wait until I am older, to save up some more money so I can spoil them? There mothers who are good, bad, mature, immature, loving, neglectful, young, old -- pick any combination and I'm sure you'll find one. Age doesn't determine what kind of mother you'll be, or how your children will turn out (but geeking back to the statistics, when you are making decisions like that you should be aware of what you're up against!).


Secondly, to the young people: Stop using this argument that at 20 we are just like any 30 year old who is TTC or is already a mom. We aren't. I am more mature now than I was 1 year ago, 5 years ago...

I have read every single post and this seems to be the most sensible! Yes, we may not agree with the OP and would never go about things in the same way, but it's her choice. So, some of us think you're a little ashliee, but we really hope things turn out for the best for you and for your future child/ren.

Im not actually sure how im supposed to respond to you calling me crazy.
Just because I want to have a child, and I want to be a single mother does not mean I am crazy. It means I have different dreams for myself, and that I am looking at this in a different way then SOME does not mean anything.
I bet you if you looked around a little bit you would see many women just like me, with the same outlook.
You people do nothing but criticize and judge others who do things their own way and not always straight out of the book. What is so wrong with being an individual, making a plan for yourself, and then following through with it.
If I was married and TTC but my husband was infertile, 90% of you would tell me to look into a donor.
The fabrication in all of your minds that you need a man to raise a child is pathetic, Because my child is going to be in day care, because I wont be able to be a SAHM makes many of you cringe, But if thats the life I wanted, you bet your bottom dollar, that is what I would be working towards achieving.
But thats not what I want, I want to be a mom, but I also want to be an independent mom. I dont feel the need to depend on anyone but myself, I dont even see the real argument any of you choose to bring up, youll find a great man one day, wait. blah blah blah, its all what you would do, what YOU wanted, what your living.
I know a LOT of moms, a lot of them, and you know what I have seen over and over again? The look of defeat in their faces when they realize that even though they have a man, a father for their baby, someone who loves them and their child(ren) that look they get when they know this isnt what they wanted for themselves. Do you know how many times I have gotten phone calls in the middle of the night from these mothers, hysterical because they thought having a baby with the person they love would be easy, they thought that their husband would be 100% helpful, and you know what? 80% of those men have never woken up in the middle of the night with their child, dont feed the child(ren), dont do anything that the woman while making the choice to TTC thought he would.
How is it crazy of me to understand that every single minute of every single day the child that I choose to bring into the world is my responsibility and my responsibility only, to know that through good times and bad I have to work my butt off to give this child everything it deserves in life, to know that you never get a "day off" in parenthood. Just to name a few, You all assume I have no idea what raising a child entails, what you dont understand is I know exactly what its like to be a single mother, one that struggles every day. I have been there, I have been the one who was so shocked and destroyed when I realized I had no help, and through everything, I learned that the #1 hardest part of motherhood is realizing that everything you thought would be easy, is difficult when you are not prepared for how it turns out.
I have a two year old nephew, actually I have 2 two year old nephews, One 4 month old nephew and one 2 week old niece, One of those two year old nephews I have, I have basically raised since the day he was born, when I was 18 years old, His mother was around physically, but was NOT a mother to him. So anyone who tries to tell me that I dont know what being a single mother is like, can frankly kiss my ass, because I have known exactly what it entails for 26 months and 10 days. And I know for a FACT that being a single mom isnt easy, but I also know that once all the fabrications of motherhood are all gone, its really not as hard as it once was.
Now if you all could keep your damn opinions to yourself, and realize that hey this chick might actually know what shes doing, that would be much appreciated.

This post was awesome. Very well said.

 

[MrsC8776]

I fully understand. I think thats why they are about to lock this one because it has gotten so bad. It's great you stood up for yourself.

 

[ashliee]

Wow... this thread is sad and amusing all at the same Time.

Obviously she has her mind made up though, and being rude isn't going to change it. More than likely, she will instead refuse to consider other points of view because of how they are presented, a very natural reaction. i

All I want to mention is all the arguments about age. I am of the mind that she should wait until she is married to "the one" and have ALL of her beautiful babies with him. I don't think she should go seek out a relationship just to have a child. But what does her age have to do with it? If she met him tomorrow, and got married in 6 months (and they stayed together until death parted them!), is she still then too young to make a decision to TTC? I was married a week before I turned 20, and started TTC on my 21st birthday. We only waited that long because we knew it would be wise to finish up our degrees. At 22 now, am I too young to be wanting children? Should I be waiting until we are more settled or stable according to an outsider's definition? We can afford to raise a child without goverment assistance, and we will be comfortable, but not wealthy. Our children will have all of their needs met, but maybe not all of their wants. So do I need to wait until I am older, to save up some more money so I can spoil them? There mothers who are good, bad, mature, immature, loving, neglectful, young, old -- pick any combination and I'm sure you'll find one. Age doesn't determine what kind of mother you'll be, or how your children will turn out (but geeking back to the statistics, when you are making decisions like that you should be aware of what you're up against!).


Secondly, to the young people: Stop using this argument that at 20 we are just like any 30 year old who is TTC or is already a mom. We aren't. I am more mature now than I was 1 year ago, 5 years ago...

I have read every single post and this seems to be the most sensible! Yes, we may not agree with the OP and would never go about things in the same way, but it's her choice. So, some of us think you're a little ashliee, but we really hope things turn out for the best for you and for your future child/ren.

Im not actually sure how im supposed to respond to you calling me crazy.
Just because I want to have a child, and I want to be a single mother does not mean I am crazy. It means I have different dreams for myself, and that I am looking at this in a different way then SOME does not mean anything.
I bet you if you looked around a little bit you would see many women just like me, with the same outlook.
You people do nothing but criticize and judge others who do things their own way and not always straight out of the book. What is so wrong with being an individual, making a plan for yourself, and then following through with it.
If I was married and TTC but my husband was infertile, 90% of you would tell me to look into a donor.
The fabrication in all of your minds that you need a man to raise a child is pathetic, Because my child is going to be in day care, because I wont be able to be a SAHM makes many of you cringe, But if thats the life I wanted, you bet your bottom dollar, that is what I would be working towards achieving.
But thats not what I want, I want to be a mom, but I also want to be an independent mom. I dont feel the need to depend on anyone but myself, I dont even see the real argument any of you choose to bring up, youll find a great man one day, wait. blah blah blah, its all what you would do, what YOU wanted, what your living.
I know a LOT of moms, a lot of them, and you know what I have seen over and over again? The look of defeat in their faces when they realize that even though they have a man, a father for their baby, someone who loves them and their child(ren) that look they get when they know this isnt what they wanted for themselves. Do you know how many times I have gotten phone calls in the middle of the night from these mothers, hysterical because they thought having a baby with the person they love would be easy, they thought that their husband would be 100% helpful, and you know what? 80% of those men have never woken up in the middle of the night with their child, dont feed the child(ren), dont do anything that the woman while making the choice to TTC thought he would.
How is it crazy of me to understand that every single minute of every single day the child that I choose to bring into the world is my responsibility and my responsibility only, to know that through good times and bad I have to work my butt off to give this child everything it deserves in life, to know that you never get a "day off" in parenthood. Just to name a few, You all assume I have no idea what raising a child entails, what you dont understand is I know exactly what its like to be a single mother, one that struggles every day. I have been there, I have been the one who was so shocked and destroyed when I realized I had no help, and through everything, I learned that the #1 hardest part of motherhood is realizing that everything you thought would be easy, is difficult when you are not prepared for how it turns out.
I have a two year old nephew, actually I have 2 two year old nephews, One 4 month old nephew and one 2 week old niece, One of those two year old nephews I have, I have basically raised since the day he was born, when I was 18 years old, His mother was around physically, but was NOT a mother to him. So anyone who tries to tell me that I dont know what being a single mother is like, can frankly kiss my ass, because I have known exactly what it entails for 26 months and 10 days. And I know for a FACT that being a single mom isnt easy, but I also know that once all the fabrications of motherhood are all gone, its really not as hard as it once was.
Now if you all could keep your damn opinions to yourself, and realize that hey this chick might actually know what shes doing, that would be much appreciated.

This post was awesome. Very well said.

thank you!

 

[LilDreamy]

Hi Ashliee.

It is your choice. You will obviously be a loving mother to this child. To be honest... being with a mom who loves and adores her child than a child who is put up for adoption and feels abandoned. Or having two parents who have no right to having children.

This world is a new world. It's actually more rare to see a happy family than to see a single parent family.

I'm not saying I agree with your decision, nor do I disagree.

I just want you to know, that being a single parent is the absolute hardest thing in the entire world.

I am a single parent..well atleast was for the first year of Alexa's Life. He left me when I was 3 months pregnant.

I am in a country that is not my own, so I am alone. No family... a few friends ( but all preggo and have newborns themselves).

I look back and wonder how in the world did I survive????
I had to go back to work when the baby was 6 weeks old, but LUCKILY had an amazing German Babysitter. The baby had me awake Every hour and a half around the clock.

Sleep didn't exist in my life. At times I thought I was going mental. I would cry over everything, and I didn't get to enjoy my precious baby girl like I really wanted to. I regret it... not being able to give her my full love and attention. No sleep does things to you to where you can't function. I loved her, gave her attention but a part of me was so distant so depressed when that should have been the happiest days of my life.

I'm just asking that you PLEASE think about what you are doing.
Enjoying a precious baby with someone, is probably the greatest thing you will ever experience together.

Luckily, Alexa's dad ended up falling in love with our baby girl and back in love with me, and we are happily together and TTCing #2.

If anything... have you concidered adoption? I don't know if it was brought up.. I haven't read the whole thread...

But imagine, making a precious babies dream come true. A baby who isn't loved by anyone, who is abandoned and alone... You could turn their life around by adopting.

It's something I really want to do when I get further along in my life and well stable.

Good luck to you!!!
Whichever decision you make will be a good one I'm sure!

 

[LilDreamy]

And oops. Lol. I didn't read the last few threads obviously. Glad you are standing up for yourself.

I'm here standing up for you too.

 

[ashliee]

And oops. Lol. I didn't read the last few threads obviously. Glad you are standing up for yourself.

I'm here standing up for you too.

Aww thank you! and yes being sleep deprived can really take a toll on everything in your life, newborns are not easy especially when you are alone! But I think that what doesnt kill you makes you that much stronger!!!
It sounds to me like you may have had PPD, Which can dramatically make things worse!!! I actually have thought about adoption, and I will probably adopt one day! Ive also always wanted to be a foster parent, The thought that I could dramatically change childrens lives for the better, is one that touches my heart!
However I do want to have at least one child who is biologically my own! Which is why I am doing this! Also adopting at 20 and single, would be a very very difficult process! So thats something I will save for some time in the future!
Children are my passion, I love them! They are all amazing, in every single little way! This is why I am going into Early Childhood Education!!! My life is children, teaching them, loving them, understanding them, and paving a road of success for them! My greatest dream is to become a mother, and show my child the many wonderful and amazing things this world has to offer him or her. This child will know if nothing else that he or she is deeply loved, cherished every single moment of every single day, and wanted more than anything else!
Love can do amazing things if you let it!

 

[LilDreamy]

Aw. If anything you are an inspiration and obviously a WONDERFUL woman.

I highley doubt your child will EVER be mad at you for giving them a life. If anything... it would be meaner to have never given them a chance to live at all.

I know I'm sure glad my mom decided to have me, even though she knew she was going to be a single mom soon. I love her to bits, and not mad at her one bit. She gave me a life. Because of the one choice she made. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here today.

And if it wasn't for you, that little one would have never been given the chance. If anything, you are a blessing to your soon to be little one's life.

Stay strong. Who cares what other people think. It's your life. They'll get over it.

 

[ashliee]

Aw. If anything you are an inspiration and obviously a WONDERFUL woman.

I highley doubt your child will EVER be mad at you for giving them a life. If anything... it would be meaner to have never given them a chance to live at all.

I know I'm sure glad my mom decided to have me, even though she knew she was going to be a single mom soon. I love her to bits, and not mad at her one bit. She gave me a life. Because of the one choice she made. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here today.

And if it wasn't for you, that little one would have never been given the chance. If anything, you are a blessing to your soon to be little one's life.

Stay strong. Who cares what other people think. It's your life. They'll get over it.

Awww!!!! thank you dear!!! and I totally hear you with not being mad at your mom! Im not mad at mine either! Im so grateful that she was strong enough to raise me, and love me, and just show me the meaning of life! She has made me an amazingly strong woman, and without her I would have no chance of being the person I am today!!!

 

[TryinFor1]

Aw. If anything you are an inspiration and obviously a WONDERFUL woman.

I highley doubt your child will EVER be mad at you for giving them a life. If anything... it would be meaner to have never given them a chance to live at all.

I know I'm sure glad my mom decided to have me, even though she knew she was going to be a single mom soon. I love her to bits, and not mad at her one bit. She gave me a life. Because of the one choice she made. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here today.

And if it wasn't for you, that little one would have never been given the chance. If anything, you are a blessing to your soon to be little one's life.

Stay strong. Who cares what other people think. It's your life. They'll get over it.

Very well said. And if they cant get over it, well then, they need something better to do with their time than rag on others for decisions that dont even include them at all.

There are some women on BnB that seem to get really mean. I had to report a user not that long ago because she laughed at me and said I was moronic for saying I was embarrassed I dont get much ewcm. IDK. Anyway, the majority of women are actually very very nice and very very supportive. At least from what I have experienced. In fact, I was surprised some of the ladies got on here and said what they did because, besides that one bitch, everyone has always been nice to me.

There are a few other threads I belong to. And we have a ttc facebook group that is totally secret. None of your friends ever see if you post or what is being posted in the group. Totally invisible except to you. We have never had someone doing AI in there. If that is something you are interested in, PM me your name and I can add you in.

PS. the group is called in my shoes. ALL of them are soooo freaking supportive it is unbelievable. Actually, we talked about this thread in there. Lol. AND some of the ladies from there came over here and defended you. NONE of them ragged on you. If you are looking for a really supportive family (and we do actually consider ourselves a family) then let me know! I would love to have you there!

 

[ashliee]

Aw. If anything you are an inspiration and obviously a WONDERFUL woman.

I highley doubt your child will EVER be mad at you for giving them a life. If anything... it would be meaner to have never given them a chance to live at all.

I know I'm sure glad my mom decided to have me, even though she knew she was going to be a single mom soon. I love her to bits, and not mad at her one bit. She gave me a life. Because of the one choice she made. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here today.

And if it wasn't for you, that little one would have never been given the chance. If anything, you are a blessing to your soon to be little one's life.

Stay strong. Who cares what other people think. It's your life. They'll get over it.

Very well said. And if they cant get over it, well then, they need something better to do with their time than rag on others for decisions that dont even include them at all.

There are some women on BnB that seem to get really mean. I had to report a user not that long ago because she laughed at me and said I was moronic for saying I was embarrassed I dont get much ewcm. IDK. Anyway, the majority of women are actually very very nice and very very supportive. At least from what I have experienced. In fact, I was surprised some of the ladies got on here and said what they did because, besides that one bitch, everyone has always been nice to me.

There are a few other threads I belong to. And we have a ttc facebook group that is totally secret. None of your friends ever see if you post or what is being posted in the group. Totally invisible except to you. We have never had someone doing AI in there. If that is something you are interested in, PM me your name and I can add you in.

PS. the group is called in my shoes. ALL of them are soooo freaking supportive it is unbelievable. Actually, we talked about this thread in there. Lol. AND some of the ladies from there came over here and defended you. NONE of them ragged on you. If you are looking for a really supportive family (and we do actually consider ourselves a family) then let me know! I would love to have you there!

Oh my goodness that would be amazing!!! i will pm you my fb link

 

[TryinFor1]

OK. I requested to be friends.

 

[Lala27]

A lot of women on pregnancy forums are having trouble TTC which is why they join the forums to begin with. Well the stress of TTC turns some women very bitter, so they jump all over young women, women who have only been TTC for x amount of time, other pregnant women or on threads like this one. Pretty much anywhere they can. Its very sad. This forum is usually one of the better ones, most of the time women are supportive even if they dont agree with you, but it still happens from time to time. So I would just report it. The admins are pretty good on here about cutting it off, removing comments and kicking people who do it frequently off the forum all together. Just report those who are out of line or just dish it right back to them the way they serve it.

 

[ashliee]

A lot of women on pregnancy forums are having trouble TTC which is why they join the forums to begin with. Well the stress of TTC turns some women very bitter, so they jump all over young women, women who have only been TTC for x amount of time, other pregnant women or on threads like this one. Pretty much anywhere they can. Its very sad. This forum is usually one of the better ones, most of the time women are supportive even if they dont agree with you, but it still happens from time to time. So I would just report it. The admins are pretty good on here about cutting it off, removing comments and kicking people who do it frequently off the forum all together. Just report those who are out of line or just dish it right back to them the way they serve it.

Well their opinions definitely are not ones im going to cry in a corner over, I feel like I got my point across today though, so im hoping i wont have to dish out anything more!

 

[lian_83]

Hi ashliee, kudos to your decision, i guess u better join our "Artificial Insemination thread." I am also doing AI myself and using donors at the moment however i am already 29 years old. My biggest regret is not trying for my dream of having a baby earlier. When I see women who are trying on their early 20s, i feel so envious because I have wasted so much time but I am trying my best to make-up for that time and get my BFP soon.

I believe that your baby will be loved so much and that is enough. You don't need to adhere to the traditional family setup.

Aww thank you hun! I hope you get that baby you are working so hard to get!!!
how long have you been doing AI?

Hi again, I've been doing AI for 7 cycles now and fingers tightly crossed that this is THE ONE.

Here is the link of the Artificial Insemination thread. It's a pretty diverse group: some women are in a lesbian relationship, some have husband or male partners but cannot conceive naturally, the rest of us are single women, but we all support each other especially in finding and dealing with donors, how to inseminate, and what kind of contact you would like for him to have with your child.

By the way, one of my TTC buddies is only 19 years old and also doing my AI. I hope we can be buddies as well!

 

[ashliee]

Hi ashliee, kudos to your decision, i guess u better join our "Artificial Insemination thread." I am also doing AI myself and using donors at the moment however i am already 29 years old. My biggest regret is not trying for my dream of having a baby earlier. When I see women who are trying on their early 20s, i feel so envious because I have wasted so much time but I am trying my best to make-up for that time and get my BFP soon.

I believe that your baby will be loved so much and that is enough. You don't need to adhere to the traditional family setup.

Aww thank you hun! I hope you get that baby you are working so hard to get!!!
how long have you been doing AI?

Hi again, I've been doing AI for 7 cycles now and fingers tightly crossed that this is THE ONE.

Here is the link of the Artificial Insemination thread. It's a pretty diverse group: some women are in a lesbian relationship, some have husband or male partners but cannot conceive naturally, the rest of us are single women, but we all support each other especially in finding and dealing with donors, how to inseminate, and what kind of contact you would like for him to have with your child.

By the way, one of my TTC buddies is only 19 years old and also doing my AI. I hope we can be buddies as well!

Awww! I will join that thread! thank you so much!!! I cant wait to get to know some others who are going through the same things

 

[carly_mummy2b]

I have had a little read through your blog and quite frankly find it a rude calling people on this site 'thick assholes' you have posted reply after reply because you feel like people are insulting you and how dare they do so for you to then do on your blog where these 'thick assholes' are not always going to see to reply.
I get you have had some negative replies on here but im not sure you can be overly surprised if im honest. Yes your happy with the choice that you are making now but that doesnt mean the whole world is going to understand and agree with it and that absolutely doesnt make them 'thick assholes' because their version of a family is mummy, daddy and baby. When you come onto a public forum and put out something so out of the ordinary it will evoke conversation and debate and you have to be willing to take the rough with the smooth, the fantastically supportive messages along with the negative comments.

As i've said previously i dont agree with what you are doing but i do wish you well and i truly hope that it isn't a decision that in 10 years time you live to regret or wish you had done differently.

I hope you don't feel like im attacking you as its not my intention.

 

[PrincessTaz]

Hey Ashliee.

I just wanted to say good luck on your journey. My mum was a single mum to be and my brother and we have the most wonderful relationship. People often ask me if I missed or resented not having a dad around and I always tell them... NO I wouldn't change a thing, me and my mum wouldn't have the amazing and beautiful relationship that we do now and I have nothing but admiration for her. She's my idol, the strongest woman I know. I'm glad you're finally getting the support and respect you deserve on this thread! I can't believe some of the comments I have read in earlier posts, please don't let it put you off B&B though. All the best x